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The soldier is just that. They fight in actual wars. They risk their lives to protect the "morals" of their "country". None-the-less, they want a better future for their children.

When the war is done, the soldiers children are the farmers. The farmers rebuild, and want. They want material objects. Maybe it's the food they lacked when they were young. Maybe it's a gas guzzling sports car. None-the-less, they want a better future for their children.

When material "wealth" has been achieved the artist is born to the farmer. The artist has the time to take actual pleasure in life's little wonders. But they also have the time to see all the injustices in the world. Injustices, vial enough to start a . . . war.  None-the-less, they want a better future for their children.
I don't know were I heard this philosophy before but I just needed to get it out and write it down. What are you? The soldier, farmer, or artist?
You love abusing me
You love telling me what to do
Your servant
You love when I do the dishes
"Because I know how to do them right"
Because you hit me when I did them "wrong"
and you hit me when the other kids wouldn't wash them at all

You love it when someone takes care of you
You conditioned me to be the perfect caregiver
For you
You love codependence
You love yourself

You don't realize that you don't love me
You grieve for me
You grieve, because it's not easy
To live without
A fulltime caregiver
A fulltime maid
A fulltime cook

It took me a long time to learn what love is
I love my Husband
I love his smile, his brilliant eyes, and that he hugs me
when I'm feeling down
I love listening to him get excited
about weird and pointless things
I love seeing him happy, with or without me
I love that we are on the same team
Team "Us", both of us

You can tell me "I Love You" everyday
for the rest of  your life
but you are only lying to yourself
The words that flow from my mouth


Full of grit and **** and bile

My actions

Too aggressive and destructive and thoughtless

My existence

Too pointless and worthless and shameful
Cute and sweet

I sip the cosmos

A dry sweet wine

**** and never bitter

Something I can count on

Stars in the sky

Light up to the night

No moon in sight







Cosmos Freckles



Look in the mirror





Self Medicate

On Standby


Feeling Heavy

Float Away


Maybe, I won't wake up
You have a degree in marine biology.
. . .and?
You are moving to a land locked state.
. . . so?
Are you going to throw away your career?
. . . maybe.
(In reality no, but I'm not going give you that comfort. You clearly don't understand how modern science works)

Career is not the best way to measure a successful life.
I stand firm to your confused glare.

I went to college at 18 and decided "marine biology".
. . . why?
It's cool.
I had one class in oceanography.
I have never held a fish before.
I had been to the ocean a few times.
At 18, I based my life on "It's cool" and no one thought twice.

Now, I'm pushing 30. This year I got married to my bestfriend of 4 years, we bought a house, and want to start a family.
. . . and you are asking "Are you sure?"

I have been thinking and planning this for  years.
I have lived through 2020.
I am more sure of this than anything in my life.

So, if you don't understand?
If you don't approve?
. . . It's cool.
Lost are the legends of the elementary spelling bee.
Overshadowed by the pungent sweet of the high school valedictorian.
Crumpling under the feet of the elite college sports team.

Lost are the legends of the good hearted local mayor.
Who hasn't the impact of the state senator.
Who hasn't the power of the president, dictator, or royal family.

Lost are the legends of this centuries highest powers and thinkers.
A mere blip in the timeline of Darwin, Cleopatra, Aristotle.
Who dwarf in global recognition to Thor, to Zeus, to Jesus.

Lost are the actions of your great, great, great, great, grandparent.
What even was their name?
Are they known for their greatness today?

Lost will your name be in two or three generation after your death.
A strange demand from society to become a Newton.
Come to grips that all legends will be lost to time.
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