You can't frighten a man with death, when his not afraid to die
So when your knifes and guns don't scare me know that is the reason why
There is nothing more dangerous than one that doesn't care
So you had better tread lightly, you better beware
There's nothing more dangerous than one not affraid of death
Unafraid to take that final breath
I'll have a smile when I walk the reapers way
So all you ******* go on and bray
About the beauty of life and all them lies
I have lived this life, it's only made me cry
And I am not affraid to die

An artists life is blue
When its mind is red

A gipsies say is true
When you're already dead.

A smiley can be sad
and crying can be good

A life can be pointless
If you can't see where you stood.

A world can be square
and a line can be straight.

It's a neverending line,
because you are affraid.

Affraid of the face of blue
And the colour of red

Affraid to see you
Affraid of the dead.

I think inside the box
I'm affraid to think about the outside

I think outside the box
I feel disgust to think about the inside

Then I get rid of the box
and my mind is free as the wind blow

London is inside his house
London is white,
He is white, and blond, and has beautiful pair of blue eyes.
London love himself,
Love thinking about himself
And see his reflection on the mirror.
But London hardly never looks through the window
And when he does he hates what sees,
And he sees London,
And London is completely different from him,
He has black hair, and black skin, and dark eyes,
And this is enough to London conclude that London stinks.

But, outside, London knows he doesn't stink
And he couldn't care less about London's blond hair, white skin and blue eyes,
He doesn't like those eyes
He says they are ugly
Because they judge through what they see.
But, infact, he doesn't think they are ugly
Deep in his mind he thinks they stink
Stink for nothing else but for being different.

So London is not really better than London
Because London hates London,
But London hates London in the same way,
So they are the same
They think they are different,
But they are exactly the same;
And they  look at each other
But they can only see themselves,
Because all their lives are about themselves;
And if they can see only themselves
They can only say that themselves stink.

And that is what they do
All the time

But London is not only black and white
And neither as gray as people think,
London has the seven colours of the rainbow
Plus brown and some kind of reddish greenish aeneous colour
Which  doesn't even have a name.
And London has many sizes too
So it's very difficult to fit London inside London
Because London is larger on the  inside than the outside.
Others even say that London is inside out,
That London is too old to be fashion,
But London laughs
And replies innovating
And saying that he has never being inside out;
Maybe, in his most, a little bit outside in.

Definitely, London is not affraid of anyone,
He knows his history is not just in the past
Because London makes history as he goes.
And London is good,
And London  receives everybody from anywhere with his open arms,
Because the rain has never forbidden London from being warm
And if in some places the sun shines everyday
In London the sun shines at night
Because London doesn't sleep.
Never sleeps.

But, unfortunately, not everybody is like London,
And while London is so kind and human,
London is completely opposite.
London was born in London
And think London belong only to himself.
London doesn't like those who come from overseas,
London dislike anything which comes from abroad.
London hates curry,
London even hates the smell of curry
But he eats curry anyway,
because he doesn't have his own food.
And London is powerful
And he doesn't want to see anyone stealing his job,
Polluting his city,
Breathing his air.
So one day London simply decide that London must go
So London  makes up rules to send London away,
And now London are not allowed to work anymore.
But London doesn't want to go,
So London hide from London in the inner of London
And in there he survives,
Sometimes using of ilegal papers in legal jobs,
Others doing ilegal jobs without any papers.
But London survives,
Survives to hate London and all his power,
Survives to sell drugs,
To sell his body,
To sell other's people body,
To **** and steal.
Indeed, London has his own reasons to hate London;
For long years he had being  bullied and harassed,
And for more than one decade he had to hide like a rat for being chased like a rat.
More than one decade of humiliation.
Definitely, that wasn't the pain London wanted  to feel,
That was the pain London wanted to spread,
Like  he used to do when he was in his own country
And like he will do again
As soon as he hide from London long enough to be part of him,
Part of all his power
Part of his ideology and intolerance.

And this is going to happen,
Inevitably it is going to happen,
Soon or later;
Because London is not so different from London,
Actually they are the same.
They are London,
We are London,
Its walls and as well his flesh,
And, inside London,
For London
We fight London;
And it is a beautiful fight,
Because London has strength,
Because London wins,
London always wins
And if we don't see his victory
It is just because the fight is still not over.
Because London reborns from ashes
Like we know happened before.

So here I stand,
Watching the fighter of the fog
Unveiling the art of his movements
In this epic  battle
For an empty cause.
Here I stand with tears in my eyes,
Waiting for the moment in which London
Will choke on the champagne of his victory,
Because I know London will win.
Because London  always win,
But now, for the first time,
London will also loose.

Noises, voices, news, comercials, advertisements, pop ups.
All day we spend time been invaded with all kind of sounds, images and smells
Dragging our mind to the outer abyss
Being influenced, affected or accesory.
At night trying to sleep becomes realy hard
Those sounds, images and smells have created feelings
Ideas attached to my mind and they don't go away.
No at night I'm affraid, at night is quiet, it's dark
But my mind is bright, full of life and energy more than ever
Being in calm, darkness, quietness... Silence
Yes I'm affraid of silence, cutting of the external influences
Finding a way out of that outer abyss
Entering in that inner universe
Where the mind has no limits
There is not borders, there is an entire inner universe to explore
Where the mind has all the space to expand and try to be able to understand
And fail get up and try again.
Fear invade me at night
My mind get used to the limits, borders, the edges setted in the outer abyss
Setted by "morality", "customs", "traditions" anyway what people say is "correct"
My mind wants to be free, but is to scared of what could be found beyond.
Some times at night the outer abyss clashes with the inner universe being my mind the only witness.

Don't have much to say
Just writting, my heart to obey
Everything hurts so much today
Everything falls along, but not my way

I, a slay..
A clueless little girl, so gray
No way for me to go, affraid
Scared and alone once more, no hey!
Can't believe what my eyes saw today

Why do I feel so alone again, Sunday
Another week has passed away
I'm scared to ask for help, I pray

My lips where yours, your prey
My hips you touch, no shame
Is that your new girlfriend, Fray?
I can't believe what I saw today..

I belive it was in a rest stop outside of Nashville when I first discovred just what lost truely

was.

The people moved ants to a hive.

Ghost's to the shell so to speak.



Looking up routes streching worn stiff leg's and existing in personal bubbles.

Affraid a seconds conversation would burst a moments ******* cast

existance.



But I only sat watching happy to be a viewer to many seperate acts in a bound for nowhere

play.



Hey you have the time?

I dont even have a watch.

I replyed to some lost south bound kid more ******* up looking

than myself.

He said nothing more as he simply  faded into the herd.



They were all bound for somewhere  and me I was just killing time.

My home was wherever I could catch a few hours sleep.

And hopefully I'd be outta this state befor long.



I was a nomad most called me a ***.

A traveler of fate and a lazy ******* to caught up in my own personal gains to settle down.



The voices of reason would seem to echo through strangers.

Whenever I'd take time to speak like some twisted record player

they'd always repeat.



So where you heading?

Nowhere and hopefully it has  a bar.



Why you on the road?

Well really I just decided to take a walk one day.



Where from?

North Carolina.

Wow why you in Texas.

It's a long walk.



Man your weird!.

Arent we all in some way?



And with that the conversation would fade into my beloved silence.

And I would view the highway and it's ever changing landscape.



The mountian  sunset's ,the desert  in the moolight ,

A city slum to a rest stop outside of Nashville where you find me now.



I'd seen Americas watercolors and her sharp edges and still charming sleeze.

And from a shared ride to a cold park bench.

I was embracing the forbidden fruit spoken of by

far better  fools and writers than me.



For true freedom was seldom safe.

But I viewed this world a travller a stranger to all including myself.



And from strange looks to even more bizzar remarks from  thoose who couldnt fathom

someone existing with no true purpose.



The question always was asked

from so many forgetable faces.



So where are you going?

Im just taking a long walk home.

Your eyes seem to flare, your words rip through my skin.
My body trembling, my heart racing.
will there ever be an end?
Will I ever be enough?
Do you have to be so tough?

I'm in the corner, affraid, it's dark.
Your words slice through me.
If only looks could ****...

Taking my life, like it would make a difference.
Leaving you, you would never learn.
A gentle touch, a warm embrace.
These are things I yearn.
Things you could never understand.

Feeling alone, bared a child, scorned, a one night stand?
But yet you're here. I see you sitting there.
Cold distant, a wrongful demand?
To want you to embrace me, to love me, to understand.

An hourglass, waiting for the sands to settle.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mettle.
I look at you, I see rage, blackness, cold.

I never will be enough. Who was I to think it such.

Tattered, torn, and affraid.
My heart today...
But any way...
Nothing matters.

Tired of the same old scenes around here.
Thought hey im gonna explore space.
Introduce Little space dudes to bad habbits
nudie mags and maybe share a beer.

Yeah it'll take some getting use to
anti gravity bars.
Pack up the whiskey and of course the kids
honey cause were moving to mars.

People kinda look at me like my
mind did slip.
just cause im going round collecting cans.
Hell with what else are ya supposed use to
build a spaceship.

I made a few changes it runs of corn whiskey
instead of rocket fuel.
You might think im crazy.
but when my home made rocket takes off
it'll be cool.

Say goodbye kids to your ***** grandfather Bert.
Hey darlin from up here I can see down your shirt.

It's three seconds to lift off people
ya might wanna move your houses as well as cars.
Cause lord knows whats gonna happen.
in my attempt to move to mars.

Its time for lift off crap honey do ya mind lighting
fuse.
Hey kids after this maybe we'll get a reality
show.
I mean if we dont die  that would only make the local
news.

The homade rocket ship rattle and shook.
I knew i forgot something I mean it's a minor thing.
Steering wheels are overrated guess I should have got a book.

And as it lifted off into the sky.
I screamed like a little girl.
I forgot I was affraid to fly.

Yes I kinda fell short on my quest to the stars.
cause i crash landed in New Jersy.
Well kids sorry but Atlantic City is probaly
a bit more fun for daddy that is.
So much for moving to Mars.

Sense of self-worth is something,
yet I don't know who I am
supposed to be,
Say something I could understand
and promise me to leave
me alone,
I don't understand why I have
no money and I am obsessed
with an image of someone
that I can never be,
I really want to write the
things I could never say and
I am affraid to say what I
want to write,
This is out of my dictionary
and the right words never
come and I lose the meaning
of it all,
I am an imitator and a
parrot,
my feelings frustrate me to no
end and precisely everyting
bothers me, to be honest,
what do I need to do when
I smile and grin at the
same time?
Something is horribly wrong
with me and I cannot make
sense of my surroundings,
this... this is what I
wanted to do! Yeah!! Oh, and
ontop of that, I'm somehow
consuming more than I
could chew;
there is nothing wrong with
me in a way and I
care about what happens when
I die,
Yes, I'm angry all the time
and it all starts from one simple
word that I did not understand
and it goes out to show that
I'm scared to be alone and
I do want to say so to someone
who cares,
life itself confuses me so there's
no point to even trying,
I lie and scream all the
time for no reason except when
I want to say something .. then
I keep quiet,
my mind is way too confusing
for people to understand so
there's no point in even trying
to speak,
the end is where I begin and
in the void I shall end!

His room stank of narcissism
The kind of aroma I loved
Back then
As he held his knife against
My throat
You're afraid of dying are'nt you

Adrenaline

Knowing of his past
I must act
I show him my arm
Savage marks on my wrist attest
I'm not affraid of dying
I'm affraid of living

He pulls back
You didn't even do it right
Fine you don't have to help me
You'll do it wrong anyway

Funny how psychopaths
End up far away
And I'm still here

I'm not afraid of death
I'm afraid of life

He's not afraid of life
He's not afraid of death

One can say his motto is
'Fear nothing'
While mine is
'Think before doing anything'

What was I doing here?
A sense of significance
Something to think
Profusely about
When one's life depended on it.

Have you ever held so much of something that causes the things you wish not to see in those you love?

Have you ever held a pain that isn't even yours in some cases?

have you ever held on to it so that it doesn't slip and take out such a beautiful tragedy of those you love?

That if you slipped and allowed just an ounce of this pure and refined substance to hit the open air that it would be instantly absorbed into the psyche and physical bodies of all those around you , thus causing them to convulse in agony and gut wrenching pain?

Have you ever felt this could be even close to how you have felt before?

As if once they get the tiniest taste of their own creations and manipulations results, they would fall, so far and hard they would not see the way out of such dire deeds and sad and abusive ways and pains of the causes and causation's, the outcomes of the thrusted busted, go away's, leave me be's, the I don't care about you's, you are a fool's, you are stupid, stop annoying me's, oh here watch this one, they will break , so laugh as loud at them as you can's? can you see what I am saying?  in short all the truly horrible things we all , including me, myself and I, do, when we hurt, are confused, or some how, loose our way in this confounded maze we seem to find ourselves lost in.

Is it enough to allow them to taste the fruit of their leaves of the trees they planted on our mother womb as our father feeds them lovingly, knowing these seeds are wrong?

is it enough? would describing it be enough to cause the pin to be realized if only an imaginary trend of a friends busting the illusion for a crafted grafted second, in hopes to say, stop and look, we are all dieing if we continue this way...... but so many of us, carry these pains like a badge of **** honor, like we are singlehandedly saving the very souls of those whom we don't even know, at times, that is... when the pain and isolation isn't too much to bare, and we don't end up lashing out and creating sorry *** little seeds of trees we then drop along our mothers womb as father lovingly tends to mothers needs, as if we are johnny apple seed in the garden of plenty and abundance all like where is my coffee!!!!????? like i have been a time or two?

Would it be enough for me to change, much less you? maybe, seems we are all stuck on a revolving Russian roulette of, "you first jack, then we will see if my *** antiees up all in..." for we all seem to be in this oh so, silly Mexican stand off as illustrated by Marshall Mathers in the "*******" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHi-IjsilSw

Cause this silly little thing, is ME, and it is You, yet, am I holding you correctly, by saying ***** it, its me and not you? or is this **** thing on backwards and in roman numerals? cause situation is all jacked up, from the floor up if we fail to see that , I and others who are pain eaters, or, what ever you choose to call us, for we are all full, just look about you, and see all the love is flowing but some of the most daring and beautiful ones are slowy fading, falling, wasting away cause we are too **** pridful to say, **** this not today, I will not hold your ****, this is your **** you take and feel it, I am rather in the clear and am shorting myself the love I truly need to breath, but, I am such a freak and a lover of you all, that I ****** this crap back up denying you the ability to even grab your **** from me, and I horde it hide it and die in it faithfully, for I said I would and my word means everything. but, Now I find so many begging me to release it, let it be, let it go and even if fools fall the **** over dead from the shock of the shame and pain they have graced us all with but we have not had to bare, do go dropping like flies, then that is okay, as I stand shocked, appalled and *******, cause we are to save them all **** it. yeah... says who, son? is all I hear any more. says who son? who said they could make it to such a place of pleasure, leisure, construct, invention, visionary, oh, my how we are to truly shine , shine, be and play? who told you this anyway? and I stand silent, speechless, and rather dumbfounded in my lack of afraid. for they are right. ****, it,, they are right, again.. for to be able to truly and finaly bew able to grasp, grokk, totally and truly rock this truth of movement and this transmogrification of station and situtations where we oh so are to truly play and live like life truly exists, we must let go and let bare the being that was, is, and wont be there. yet here i am, still stuck in a silence of judgement pending, standing in a hall, holding up the line cause I refuse to let go of this which is holding me from the true garden and my possible real soul mate, whom ever they maybe, all because I am so affraid of feeling the lose of even the hated, and hatful of thee, ?.. and why? why are so many of those bauetigul people like me, doing this very thing? so many of us became sin eaters simply out of need, and we eat the sins of others, and eneded up, sinning ourselves, simply to deal with the burdon of the pain... what , in the world were we thinking? , well, we were thinking, what a shame, and we were thinking, why do we not know how to help or deal with all this over whelming pain, why atre we burdoned so? and why must , i let go of the only think I have ever known, eating this sin, that became my identity and my reason to be, and now you ask, me to strip myself of me, of this child laid bare for all the world to see, as I fall apart, is that what it is you wish to see? for this is what will happen when I no longer bare the sin of you and you and you, for mine have been forgiven from what I understand for laying no blame upon no man for the sin I consumed of man, and I am not alone in this endeavour or relieaf, that is if I can muster the foolish courage to let it go, and watch as you all, fall, fall, fall, of your own pains, but I say this, as I have said before, as  child I said it and thousands of times in my life, you do not have to fall so far, just except what ypou have caused and bare it and do the equal and truly triple the opposite and love, see, for me to take such a chance, such a leap of faith and risk, my falling by my creations of feeling watching you fall from your own pains, in turn causing me to fall the same, , but I say, you do not, for if as I said I do this, and risk, then you do the same and love again, as you did before you remembered how to hurt..... before you learned how to hurt inside, before you realized, you die each time the pain lives inside... for you were never a sin eater, but I can and am telling you how to digest your sins, so you don't fall, so far and possibly fail and well, bye.. you must bare you harm and except it as real and them manifest the loving and caring truth that nullifies the harm and corrosive acridness and become, alkaline a base , so base your love in truth and harmony, and resonate out of the hate and misery, for, I do understand what it is I must do, but it all truly, like I said a thousand times, depends on you, and yes there is a possibility that you could bring me to my death by focusing on never getting out, but lets not kid each other son, I will not be loosing, and why risk the guarantee of you never being with the life of us, only so you can attempt to bring me or others down? for it makes no sense, and is not of the flow and growing of life and is not abundant, so, swallow all the fear and doubt, that pain and acid that you spit out, and except it for it is the reality you created and we sin eaters swallowed and held so as to limit your harm, and many of us, did this from birth and never truly knew what we did wrong to end up with such a work load if you get my drift. but my soul is clear, on this, and wqell, I must start laying this down, and by doing so, I need not grace you with a sound or a jot or tittle, but the facts that you may or may not find life get a little different, but This is not for me to say, for it is simply close and time for me to let it all go and look for the truth as my ownn naked frozen child deep inside shivers , but, I know this, no matter the loss, no matter the cost, no matter the choices that will be chossen due to tempral placement and how limited the view is from where we are, that I will be okay, and most of my people are already across, in fact, I think I am one of the few still stupidly here, begging and causeing such a scene, but, I suppose they are right, "if you have not chossen your own ways, by now, then what makes you think anyone should wait for you to realize there is no tomorrow once we move forward.. and well, I hope to wake and each time I wake, love be closer and closer to me and this horror and this lies deciet and hate, be a none existant, reality, for me, or anyone else ready to make that change. and you still can, but, um, if time is running out on the elect, then um, maybe time is running out on you and me so, we better get this thing going, and make a stand , a choice, and eat out own **** and swaet out love and all things worth growing and knowing. for the information is a seed that is the key, if you know, then it is time to unload, that seed so it can be a tree, for spring has sprung and we are about to be leaving and blooming some **** fine leaves, and flower, ohh, so, unless you are the dead and decayed bark that we are about to shed, litterally, then it is time to become a blossom, and swallow your own deeds and devulge the information that setts so many others free, you will be saving lives, and the livfe you save might just freaking be your own. no I mean this jack. and, I love you, but I can not keep holding this, for most of it is not mine, and I soon hope to be resigned from the possition of rather high ranking in the sin eating department, "Jesus is number one there, and I am not in the tier, but you can beat me, so swallow you sin and push out the freedom and love, the truth that sets the rest of the tree free from this infestation cause we wont **** the tree, but we continue like this and the tree of life we wont see either, for we will fall away and away to never be again, make your choice, cause I have Purple Hearts to Bloom baby, and blue and white stripes on my flower, for I am a full purple blue moon, , hope to see you there, and if you hurt son, sorry, but it is time, so, take my advice and swallow and shed and do deeds that save lives and loves.  Yes I know I am slow, ven my mother said so, in the scanned images, see, poems, though he is"slow?"  yeah, thanks ma.. lol, smile, I hope I see here , she, finally free of all the harm done her and forgiven, for I forgave her long long ago, I love and respect my mother, for she gave me these bones of gold, and at 14 she did better than many, with such a prize package like me.
Candlebox-Far Behind
h ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4QL0L9fgbg

In this world full of hurt and pain, I need someone who would help me through the rain. To comfort me when Im sad, Doing everything just to make me glad. In this world I need a Brave Knight, Who would never give up any fight. A knight who would dry away my tears,
Helping me to overcome my fears. A knight who loves me for who I am inside, With him there's nothing more I need to hide. A person who will still be standing strong, Eventhough everything has gone wrong. I need someone who is willing to give me more, Someone I can call my Knight In Shining Armor
No love
sitting here staring at the closed door, i dont even know what for
the thoughts in my head are what make me feel dead, but then i remember its just in my head not what anyones said.
the times at school when u look at me like a fool, the hipster that made me take a fall embarressing me infront of all
its all you that made me like this, stuck here wondering what life is?
round and round the thoughts go, just like the room bellow
the drugs are cause of the lack of hugs, while i do it tough i get no love
while i feel like im drowning in the noon day sun you are all out just having fun
leaving me here to struggle alone my mind blown
stuck in this room feeling so small, and you stand up and walk so tall
confiendent and strong i just smile and play along
fake it til you make it they say well i do everyday! but look where its got me now
here alone in this room eating a thing they call a shroom
it takes away the pang of the day
now its night fall and im not looking as tall
i take it out on those i love and blame it on the drug
i know the morning will come but it wont be any fun
just like any other day i will just lay
staring at the room around and listening to every single sound
freaking out and affraid feeling betrayed
here goes another day wasted and feeling low why dont i say good bye and just fall bellow

I support the protection of animal right
even though i'm not an animal
I support human right of same gender marriage
even though i'm not gay

I have my belief
they have their ideals
we have our freedom
they have their right

you yelled that your belief teach love
but you curse their right to express love
I'm not betraying my belief
I just realize that it has nothing to do with their freedom

it's okay if you don't like them
it's not my bussiness if you affraid of them
that doesn't mean you can abuse them
that doesn't mean we can restrain them

maybe this word is not absolute
but if you keep trampling them with your belief
then you are centuries too early
to talk about humanity

Heartfelt cold type of a guy, lost in life
No place in this world for my type, standing on a crossroad, praying hands to the sky. I just need a guide
Enternal thoughts, creating this concrete writer, I got fuel for words, abused enough to start a fire.
I'm hearing distance whispers, numb in my feelings, penetrator of wombs, demons speaking to me through the ceilings.

My tounge with words from deeper than ether
Shadow men, down under - working against the beginning, they wanna' destroy the beginning, so they aiming at the end.
You can call them mates, but you know it's only a pretend - The black man was first on this place.. They took you for friend, you took them for slaves

Do some research, know your ******* place
This world is the dumbest *******, they don't even bother to replace these men, schooling indoctrination must be working well.

Don't you see it's a race against the race
Snowflakes melting, screaming "let's accept more gays!"
**** the biological functions, its a self destructive, non breeding phase.
Trust me, you'll loose if you take the backdoor In a straight forward race.  

Whispering in my ear, EVERYDAY it's getting clearer and clearer
"Tie the robe tighter" aren't you tired of not being able to be your own provider
Trying to keep whats left intact - but I'm a shattered fighter, broken inside out can't remember last I slept, ****!
I don't wish to be the survivor, my luck is out - joker mentality makes my life way harder
Balancing on the edge, looking at his inferno, the same way I'm looking inside my fridge, hungry.. But but no food to taste, not feeling, I'm ****** to the bone pain is temporary, I never understood that term, all my life I had to carry, weight of the world
I see many.. Stupid ******* weak people, they are so many.. I know.. But few working brains controls all the dumb

Dante described hell, but forgot everything is inside yourselves.
We are stuck in the Dark, possessed and doomed to always fall.
Here is life, a gift from god, only a slave will embrace. The catch is no fun, so let them chase.

The Devil is singing my name, I always felt life was a curse and a gift it's all the same
, I don't like surprises, I play my own life like a throw of dices
I smell beasts and burned skin, far away you can feel the winter is coming, they arises, but I have Snow.

Towards shadows, towards pain
deep into the forrest, where no soul is to blame!
No stop of me,  I'll be Like Gump, life is like a box of chocolate, and sometimes you'll get Trump
**** your illusion, not understanding we're all ******* prophets, there is no such thing as coincidences
you are useless, because of the lack of knowledge.. If you are woke, Add a D between use and Less.

inside terror, keeping my eyes away from the mirrors.
God created this life, why all the pain if he is our guide through hard times and internal wars.

I spit on it, and threw it away, and tossed it.. Life is a gift? It's more like poison Turning upside down, I do the Kriss Kross dance - cross
I'm strong, and yet weak in my knees to pray, not to the sky, but the other way, I'm searching for the light in the darkness - Lucifer carries on what I wanted

I just want  everything to turn black, and silently disappear
, feeling this pain coming to an end, darkness within I don't longer have to pretend, I'm Linking all the dots, last walk in the park, nothing else matters
In the end!

Coming thru, cold as ****, nothing but some feelings getting blocked, I eagerly wanna bite the apple, I'm hungry and I'm stucked, I'm in my own prison of Eden, I'm so mental ill, I don't take pills unless it kills, and serpent  fears to be eaten, I'm soulless and Lost, Like George Bush, - look inside the coffin, connect to the sky, wait a minut.. Is that Steve Jobs?
The bite of the apple, it's so crystal clear you all blinded  bought all that expensive hi-tech gear.
Snakes do what it takes.

Living like cancer, I'm not a survivor
Keeping it Blair witch in the woods I see rituals, they call it illuminati, all seeing eye, you can't escape then border between illusion and reality, tri-an-gles, and all seing eye
It's the eye of a tiger. Ask Eldrick, all the money in the world didnt turn the hole in One (Holy one) any brighter.


White privilige, ***. I can't turn any whiter, throw the dirt on my body, Bury me in sandcastles, as if digging was your hobby, do your ******* ****

Got these skeletons inside my closet, playing Marco Polo inside my brain pineal gland, I try to save it, I can't stop it! Your third eye is key, so detox it.

, I'm ready to cut it, the feeling of living a life, that's not worth it, cut it!

I pray to jesus, but then the devil walks in.
I guess only one of them listens and understands
it cuts me inside from my soul to my pride, that's not living life, feels like a dream, so I won't open my eyes, to realize the real me, pin me to the cross, I let me sacrifice. I can't live life with these two eyes.

Yeah depression is keeping me busy and just alive, it's like the heart  and my brain is synchronized,   I'm slowly forgetting, all the things I've been missing, put it on a milkbox, like all the lost souls, which enforce these sources of adrenochrome,


So I walk towards the sun, with my teeth biting my tongue,  I keep my feelings locked , affraid of the scenario where I'm the loaded gun, not affraid,, just a bit paranoid, has these inner dialogs, wait for me, stay away from me.. No, don't leave.. Ahh... ******* RUN! I feel the cold blade playing like a violin on my arm, let me drain until empty Ness embrace my soul, where soil covers my face, and the rotten heart is invited down to his place.

Daddy ain't around, and momma searching for love, I'm attaching to any kind that reminds me of love, just wanna feel warmth like dragons in game of thrones so much cold, and a bit of snow
Mommi ******* told me, she made a mistake the day I was born. I'm spinning around - lost my compass, ah I'm finally gone
looking back, only  smelling burning rotten meat, I hate I ever was born. Hard and soft, I would do anything for love.. Take a short way  to hell where I ******* be-long, I'm finally gone, burning inside out, you really wanna know? OK... Yeah the devil has all your friends and two horns.

Help me get up from this sleep.
I didn't notice falling so deep.
I'm affraid to hear ''his'' reap.
I'm not ready yet, hear me wheep!

I don't want to end this way.
Keep death just a little at bay.
I will make it worth, just let me stay.
I know I have wasted every year and day.

I just fell.
But I'm not affraid of falling anymore.

The final page ..
I wanna do this one alone
I have friends
I'm never actually alone
I just always feel alone
I'm strong , intellectual and still in pain .
It hides behind a perfect mask
Called a smile
I really do love you too
More then you know, think and feel
I want to talk laugh and be with you
but I can't.
I can't hear myself think anymore.
I scream and can't hear myself anymore.
Its like a darkness inside of me and it feeds off all the negativity in my life.
Then there's you and my family
The light that outshines any darkness.
I'm completely speechless on the outside.
But I could write a book from what's in side of me.  
The part I'm still affraid of
Is what's on the final page

i feel like i've been here before..
taken in by your eyes,
over powered by old lies..

i feel like i've walked across these grounds,
but i was broken before,
you read my mind,
so i left you there....

i feel like i've heard you speak my name,
but this was not the same,
you're different....
before you spoke my name out of anger,
and i sat quietly,
hushed in the corner.

i feel like i've cried my last tear,
not out of sorrow..
but out of loss....

i realized that i was never jealous....
i was affraid to lose you,
to something you began to miss....

I miss you like crazy!

This is'nt fair loving you is all I want and you're not here

I daydream about your lips and your gentle touch

partly because I can't sleep affraid of missing your call I tell mista sandman to come back tomorrow.

I think of you all day long you smile brittens my day. I want you here now! today!!

What have you done to me I'm useless for anything else my hours and mins drag on without you. The day seems pointless without you. Your love is my drug and i'm feening. Whitney said CRACK IS WACK but all I want is my drug back. This little time drags for eternity I need you here my serenity. My piece of mind from the tolls of the world my gift of peace that completes me.

i gave you every sign,
you are on my mind.
im sorry i upset you,
You care i know you do.
im scared to show me to you....
you know you are my world,
and im your baby girl,
but im affraid of heart break,
i hope you understand.. ): <3

Misstreating your corpse
Is sin
But i was forgiven
Scared of the dark
He stands in the corner
Looking like a foreighner
He motions me to come near
His face very unclear
Standing in the dark
His completly stark
As he walks near
I begin to hear
His voice speak and say
"Why dont we play"
Affraid and scared
I was unpreapared
For what came next
I would never have dared
Left lying there
As he sits in the chair
Theres a feeling in the air
Unhappy and sad
What just happened was bad
Knowing you just want me naked
I completely faked it

Who's in control?
You or the labels around you

Your  conscious will eat at your soul until you find you.

What are you affraid most?
The answer is probably yourself

No reason to fear them.  
What will they do? **** you?
Free you from the imprisonment
Of this world

Unleash the person in the mirror.
The quiet soul
Whispering when heard
But screaming to be understood.

Swimming in the sea of ecstasy
Is where I want to be
Just you and me
And when the storms blow
There's no need for fear to grow
We'll just drift with the flow

We can float on our backs
There will be nothing we lack
And when the sharks attack
You'll just pull out your blade
That with your own hands you have made
I won't be affraid

I will cherish these days
You set my soul a blaze
Into your eye's I'll deeply gaze
My icy cold heart will start to drip
As I kiss your soft lips
And we tighten our grip

The waves will carry us along
As our hearts beat out a lovers song
Because I know in your arms I belong
For it's you I adore
And there will be so much more in store
When we wash up on that sandy shore

I walked alone for so long,
I tried to sing a happy song,
I did and i liked the tune,
But there were no words

I was brave and I carried on,
No words would fit my happy song,
I tried to find the words to fit,
But nothing came they wouldnt sit

Now since you i sing the words,
I'm even watched by the birds,
They look and wonder where i am,
They ask each other how i can

The answers simple my feathered friends,
I found a love that just wont end,
I fell in love thats why i sing,
I'll ask the girl to wear my ring

I sing my song now and i'm not affraid,
I realise how love is made,
If you listen you will know,
Just how a song of love should go.

Romance without love.
Is just a physical thrill.
You can find a partner anywhere.

But when you states you're waiting on yours truly.
Then watch the players starts to disappear.

Pleasure without love.
Is exactly that.
Once done.
You feel the gratitude pat on your back.

You find many seeking to return.
But speak of being serious.
You'll find many excuses emerge.

Passion many times is connected to love.
Except when you wasn't seeking a true love.
That needs to connect to someone sincere.
But pay attention.
Many love living together.
It's marriage they affraid of.

I guess this is the story of love.
We don't know the message as we should.
It's more than a physical touch.

I do not cry, I do not weep,
I cannot fly, I cannot sleep,
I have no day, I have no light,
I am a nightmares ****** at night.
My day goes dark, my shaddows grow
And from the inside of my own
I am affraid, I want to weep,
I want to cry, I am a creep

And I know why.

It is because I'm not alone, when I have problems they are small
They are too small to matter much they grow me weary
They are big.
Only for me and for my mind
I problem others of my kind
I talk of problems that are mine

The only thing I do is whine.

A man plants what another sows but only God can make it grow

a man breaks his faith and praise the world
deny his soul for he's afraid
and in the world he stays

Men's sinful antics crippling as he strays fear is the master of his shame

The shinning stars are magic to a child's gaze

Children swing in laughfter not affraid to go faster they see clearly threw the rain

Devils telling riddles planting seeds of doubt inside his brain

One will look for answers one will pray while science gains and art decays

God gets his defients an alliance must be made

let not what we doubt or understand be so dreadful to withstand

For pride grows like wild weeds inside a man

Lifted by the crowed he's praised

Man is weak and drops him on his crown to end his reign

He put his faith in man and left in pain thank God we live to fight another day

To seek the truth my
friend so rest your tired eyes and be at peace their is an end.

Sundays come 
and my thoughts run randonmly
they are strong and deep
but I pray for my spirit to push me

I frequently faulter far from my soul
and I can barely stand still
when I walk I keep falling deeper
in an endless hole

I am affraid of my mind
intimidated by my loose cannon
there is nothing holy here
no wing I spread nor a smile to find

I sit now without a push behind me
I can't seem to walk in his house
knowing my faith is down
screaming coast to coast for harmony

I have a want to break this curse
while the world is turning
and loving and living is on going
There will always be another burning verse.

(INCREDIBLE INK- TEAM JAGUAR HAWAII!!)
© Copyright 2014 S.T. PARISH Rebel of Eden.

Il était un rêve  , with too many wishes .
Was going down the road slowly until i couldnt  see it or feel it .
Ba ouais is gone now im affraid to follow it again
Seems beautiful from a distance but when i get close i dont want it anymore  . Im affraid yes that i go down the road again then i dont see it or with the expectation to feel it .
How long will take i dont know . In the moment i see no chance .
The calmness the silence i try to hookup with .
Its me back again je ne sais plus quoi faire .
Ba ouais il était un jour une fois

Broken pictures in my bedroom
Remind me of the day you left
Branches cry
Birds fly
Wind blows

Swept away my tears
Soon i realize
How affraid i am
Of losing you
Makes me wonder
What i'd do without you

The wind whisper
The sky darkens
The trees seems sad
As they can feel what i feel
Accompany me in my sadness

Soon i realize
How weak i am without you
You once tell me
That you never leave my side
That you'll always be here

Now you watch me fall
Motionless
Not even try to help
Not even feel sorry

Of the mistakes you make
Now i wonder where were you
When you once said you got me
I should've realize
You were full of lies

The cloud pouring rain
The ants singing
The trees watching
I'm falling
Without you
Should i cry
Or happy
That you gone now.

I know i'm not happy
But it's all over now

I think I have come unplugged
I think I have been drugged
I'm seeing things through a haze
And thoughts around me plays
Are they real or just a maze
That I am slowly crawling through
I'm affraid I've come unglued
Why the hell does these thoughts intrude
I can't run away or hid
I've tried
I've prayed I've cursed
I've done the worse
And still there they are
From the surface they are never far
These ******* **** mind scars