A waltz with broken legs and a wailing heart.
A constant state of fear, of the inevitable darkness this way comes.

Where every thought sings to me “Do it.”
She sounds like me, and I’m afraid.
I’m afraid I’ll do it.

My blood would run a crimson red,
My heart would cry me a river.

Tongue tied ******* looking to escape a body, not mine;
a mind out to **** me.

A living broken record.

Without skipping a beat I'm floating again.
What a high! My, oh my!
The whirlwinds calm,
for a moment.
I come back to life.
I go home.

Only For a moment.

A moment..
You see? darling,
If you wait long enough, dear,
I will have plummeted again, and again; Forever, again.

Darling Dragon Blue,
Your life is a circus
full of ambiguities leaving you stumped,
unable to discern good from bad, truth from lies,
enemies from allies.

The Ring Master,
Master Illusionist,
Master Magician,
call him what you may,
he knows this,
he feeds off of this.

your misplaced trust
gives him power.

He targets you,
his spinning whip sings I love you,
Striking down ******* your soul,
drawing blood from your heart,
Painting hate in your eyes.

He announces you as his greatest possession,
his greatest achievement,
the love of his life.

But now the show’s over.
he looms over you
using his two faced mask to scare you back in your place
feeding off your insecurities and self doubt,
he grows stronger.

“Dance my boy Dance!” he cackles
‘STRIKE’
“Sing my boy sing!”
‘CRACK!’
he lines his whip with false love
to numb your pain.

But only for a little bit.
Only for a few seconds.

Long enough for you to believe it doesn’t hurt.
Long enough for you to forget his dagger words.

A damaged young dragon,
you burn your sorrow into the glass
when you whisper I love you to the mirror.
“I love you” it reads back.
and you feel so empty.

You realize you’re tired of performing on strings.
you yearn to dance freely, to soar high into the unforgiving sky
you want to burn this place to the ground screaming
“I loved you!” Roaring your mighty roar releasing your fright,
Spreading your mighty wings created for magnificent flight,
your bound legs unable to carry you,
you fall to the ground.
cold, helpless, the flame within you
threatening to die out.

The ring master finds you.
a confused frightened smile creeps onto his face
“I love you” he sneers
as he kicks you back into your cage
wondering why, oh why you tried to escape.

again with false love,
he manipulates you, a creature
endowed with so many beautiful talents and gifts,
not realizing he conditions his “ I love you’s” with pain, anger, and hate.

and you a mighty dragon only wish to control your own fate.

And so Enough.
you roar.
Enough.
The fire inside you erupts into a great blue star
transforming the carbon in your ribs into your
diamond heart,
melting your golden bones allowing you to change form.

For Darling Dragon Blue,

It is HE. that should fear you.

Darling Dragon Blue.

**I LOVE YOU.

I am the cold silver light in the darkness.
The rattling madness polluting sanity.
I am both, I am everything.
But mainly I am burdened with truth.

That, is why I am so Afraid of living
Why I am so afraid of Not living

Why I am not afraid to die.

I am the lead tainted paint in a bottle, stirring, absorbing the artist's pain.
In madness I am used to depict a reality ideal.
With every brush stroke, every color, I am killing him, he is using me to **** him,
as he paints murals for the masses to alleviate their suffering.
He suffers from truth.

He is not afraid to die.

I am a chameleon blending in with the rest of you,
Fools, drunk off of false hope and fairy tales
I am the paint, and the painting
I am the artist,

And I am not afraid to die.

I was happy.

I was happy,
Until I wasn’t.
I fell from grace to the dark depths of hell.

A hell I don’t believe in
Until I find myself there
Cold, hyperventilating
Gasping for air.

Desperately trying to believe in a god who will save me,
Save me from myself.
Save me from the delusions and insanity,
Save me from the self destruction that I love so much.
Save me from the self destruction that I love so much.

Happiness is fleeting

But why, God, *why?

Ruby red flames Illuminate your eyes,
Ember glow stealing my last breathes
I am rendered speechless, in a world where words are all I have,

Soft lips and a cool smile,
allow me to survive the warmth surrounding you,
How becoming.


Once I saw you like really saw you,
my heart blushed a shade any rose would be jealous of.
My soul awoke to take a second glance
My eyes couldn't believe what they'd been granted.
A mind trick? A demon in disguise?
My mind distorts your beauty in attempt to keep me safe,
but *******
you are beautiful.
*******.