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Madam X Nov 2017
I'm locked in a room with a desk and a chair.
I want my stomach filled, but the cupboards are bare.
I'm sitting here with only one option:
To continue to write, during this lock in.

Is writing a talent?
I say to myself, as I look over my shoulder at the book on the shelf.
What about Melville, and Shakespeare, and Twain?
The all have much knowledge to send to my brain.

But people these days just don't understand
That we can do more than just sing and dance.
There are so many talents that slide under the rug.
"I wonder what mine is".
I say with a shrug.

But then I remember that I am equipped
With a whole set of skills that are right on my hip.
They rest as a tool belt, and as a reminder
That if I wanted to, I could go farther.
I realize it ends abruptly, but I couldn't find the perfect way to end it.
Madam X Nov 2017
My life is like a carousel.
This one I can't get off.
It's beautiful on the outside,
but it never ever stops.
The world is a blur now,
from spinning for years and years.
It's easy for people to say I'm fine,
when they haven't felt my tears.
Your life might be a roller coaster,
going up and down.
That's way more fun than being stuck
Spinning round and round
This is mostly written about my vertigo tbh, but I hope you find meaning in it
Madam X Nov 2017
I know you won't understand how I came forth with this conclusion
Thinking I was happy was no more than an illusion
Just once I thought you would go and ask
But you never did, so my pain wouldn't pass.
even if someone showed they cared
My mind wouldn't change.
Just uselessly shared.
Not once have I been understood.
Not my family or even my doctors are good.
One day sadness rose to an ineffable height.
I saw no escape, nor did I see light.
Oh how nefarious people seemed to be.
Just endlessly firing words as if on a killing spree.
My life is a book, though I tend not to read.
It's filled with sweet sorrows, not flowers but weeds.
For My decrepit heart could beat no more
And my tears shall finally rest, instead of pour.
This was to be my suicide note, before I changed my mind.
Madam X Jan 2018
I have not yet pricked my finger upon the needle of a yarn spinning wheel
Nor have I bitten from a poisonous fruit
Midnight has passed and I am still in my clothes from last nights meal
And a sea witch has not made me mute.

I still have yet to kiss the lips
of a prince whose come to save me.
The last girl who did that, turned into
a frog  
But fell in love severely.  

I haven't had the chance to prove my bravery
with a sword or bow and arrow
For I am no princess, just patiently waiting,
For my one true kneeling pharaoh.
I tried to mention a majority of the Disney princess stories, though I realize I excluded quite a few. Please comment a fitting title. I'm having a bit of trouble.
Madam X Nov 2017
The candle's flame is still in the night.
The silence should scare me but it feels just right.
There is no wind. There is no fear.
There's only the candle standing there.
I hear the music, it's amazing sounds.
My feet feel so light upon the ground.
If I wanted to, I could fly.
I would sleep on clouds and dance in the sky.
If gravity stopped right where you were standing,
would you have any intention in the future of landing?
Some might hang on to a leaf or a branch,
to make sure they don't stray to far from their path.
Im not sure what I would do.
I don't know if I would hang on. Would you?
I'm new at this. Be kind :)
Madam X Jan 2018
I dream of a blue and white convertible from an early year.
I dream of one day living in a world without fear.
I dream of a day with the sun and no rain.
I dream of a place with no senseless pain.
I dream of a house with a white picket fence.
I dream of a man whose love is intense.
I dream of a job where I go everyday.
I dream of 3 kids, and a yard where they play.
I dream of being happy, with people I love.
I dream of a world that won't worship above.
Pursue the dreams that relate to you, and one day live a life that you hoped would come true.
A list of everything I want in this world. Yours may be different, but this is just me.
Madam X Nov 2017
My life seems to be frozen in time.
Waiting for the sun, but it no longer shines.
Nothing ever changes. It all stays the same.
Searching for the happiness that I want to gain.
Everyone else is moving ahead.
But all I can do is lay here in bed.
People, their lives, their friends, and their luck.
I'm going nowhere. I seem to be stuck. Some tend to think that my life is quite good.
I don't agree, but maybe I should. Plebeian types have to live on the streets. While I sleep at home, tucked away in my sheets.
I shouldn't complain but it's become very hard, To enjoy life's small moments.
I'm internally scarred.
My life isn't bad. It's just somewhat tougher,
than the people I know, that's  because I do suffer.
It was never my purpose to bask in my pity.
I just needed to express my deep pain subsequently.
Please comment titles to help me name this poem. And I believe at some point we all think about how our lives are hard and I always have to remind myself that there is worse
Madam X Nov 2017
Moon, sweet moon, what have you done?
I look to you from my rooftop.
Your beauty once again has left me stunned.
You promised to no longer eavesdrop.

I speak to you through lustrous glass
By the window in my bedroom.
Waiting for the time to pass,
Breathing in smells of perfume.

So much happens under you,
So many crimes committed.
Though this fact serves to be true,
There's wrongs which can be righted.

Its getting late, the sun is near.
We must say our goodbyes.
Because of you, I shall not fear
You're my friend that's in the sky.
A cute little poem I wrote about my pal the moon
Madam X Mar 2021
I’m sorry I’m to sad to love you the way u need to be loved okay.
And that every time you try with me, I seem to just push you away

I’m sorry that my hearts too broken to make you smile
And that you haven’t heard my laugh in a really long while.

I’m sorry I’m stubborn and that I cry way too much
And that being with me is looked down on a bunch

I’m sorry I can’t be skinny or even close to pretty
And that sometimes people describe me as being a little ditzy

I’m sorry I don’t accept the love you send to me
And that I make you feel like you keep me less free

I’m sorry I can’t show you how important you are
And that words have always been something that’s hard.

Im sorry I’m sorry for so many things
And all of the problems my mental health brings.
Madam X Jan 2018
Your disappointment in me makes me want to *****
Even Halleys father gave her a flying comet.
I can't play the sports that you did as a kid
But I was never afraid of the ball
I never once hid
Im sorry some chores were left not quite done
But trying to hurt me doesn't mean that you've won
The belt round your waist was something I feared
I remember the blood on my leg that I had once smeared
That wasn't quite common
You're lose of control
I know that deep down you do have a soul
It's ironic that I am the only one
Who knows your soft side
away from the gun
You're still my dad and I don't hold those grudges
I'm not trying to be that person who judges
Madam X Apr 2018
I've been used like the shoes your ***** feet walk on.
treated as a shower and left to scour your filthy mistakes away.
I've felt like the bed whose heart has bled because it's taken for granted.
Pierced like an earring, your ears are not hearing because you never listen.
I'm not your clay of which you play, don't mold me to your liking.
I am a flower who now holds some power, standing tall and standing strong.
For you are the knife whose blade is now dull from stabbing me all your life.
It's different, but full of hidden anger.
Madam X Nov 2017
I'm that girl who hopes to be taken by the hand
And drifted off to neverland
Leaving my worries behind me
And soaring in the sky, free

I'm that girl who waits for a prince
And a strong true loves kiss
But I don't really need saving
It's only the passion I'm craving

Im that girl who wishes to live in a Disney movie
With nature, songs, and tremendous beauty
But instead I live in a tearful drama
With blackish skies and lasting trauma
Madam X Jan 2018
The sadness is to much to Handel, on the couch of my humble home.
I'm listening to oldies songs, but sitting all alone.
There's only one thought running circles in my head.
If that's what it comes to, I'll die comfy in bed.
No one cares, and no one tries.
No one knows I'm dying inside.
I'm frozen and stuck, don't know what to do.
People have their own problems, I'm nothing new.
The agony builds, day by day
It's physical now, not going away.
I think of all of my favorite things, those I cherish and moments I favor.
Right now I believe that I would be fine to not see them again. To be gone forever.
Things hurt right now.
Madam X Nov 2017
Someone is watching. This I know to be true.
They sit there and watch every thing that I do.
The music I play, the books that I read,
the shows that I watch when I turn on TV. The opinions that formulate inside of their head,
is something I fear and something I dread. There isn't just one. They have a whole crew.
Millions and millions, not one or two. People are everywhere and if they are not, there's a mouse or an insect deep in its thoughts.
Staring and watching with its tiny black eyes.
Take one more step and they'll run and they'll hide.
People will watch you and be really mean. They think it's okay bc their thoughts can't be seen.
But really inside, that's the core of all evil. It's starts out small and it grows till its lethal.
Humans will smile and say their kind thoughts,
but walk away for a second and hear their real talk.
Please listen closely, it'll come in disguise. It's hard to dissect all of these lies.
Madam X Nov 2017
Have you ever noticed just how boring your life can be?
I sit here alone with no one to the side of me.
I can't go outside cause the world may start spinning.
I don't mean the way Galileo said in the beginning.

I'm feeling quite helpless and wanting to leave
To experience nature, and all of its trees.
I sit on my roof and look out into space
And think of the things that could make my life great.

Some think I'm dumb and have nothing to ponder,
But my ideas and poems have so much to offer.
I'm scared that my life might not become much
Or when I get old, my friends won't stay in touch.

There's so much to think about and so much to do.
I'm feeling quite lost now
What should I do?
My brain overflowing,
My stomach in knots,
Just How should I handle all of these thoughts?
I write them all down, and I put them in poems,
But it's just not enough to forget or forgo them.
My first poem

— The End —