2 men,
that's it.
2 men
have known me,
inside, they fit.

Doped out
of my mind;
it's hard to recall.
Bits and pieces,
flashes of memory.
I was a living rag doll.

Barely breathing,
he takes me from behind.
Pulls my hair,
and says,
"I'm gonna make you mine!"

I think it happened
three times,
but who really knows?
When your brain's
as high as mine goes.

I can't call it ****,
I was a willing participant.
Numb to the bones,
so with it I went.

When it all fell apart;
my secrets exposed,
he wrote me something
that was no longer prose.

His words were razor blades,
slicing the skin with ease.
I kept myself in my own prison;
over, my heart began to freeze.

"A willing **** victim",
is what he called me.
Sick to my stomach
for allowing him in,
I lay my head on the pillow
to cry for a 5 year old sin.

You sick twisted person,
with your hands burning black,
from all of the ashes,
you've left in your tracks.

You and your friends,
you leave nothing but hurt.
Sweet promises made,
trampled in the dirt.

You left nothing good,
just one little thrill.
Not the thrill you want,
just one that makes us ****.

We hate who you are,
and there's nothing we can do.
You're not welcomed here anymore,
We say goodbye to you.

Take your ashes and your sick mind,
your pathetic rants and twisted lies.
Because we'd rather be dead than hear what you say,
We'd rather watch you wither day by day.

Envy, like ivy, itches
But its rash is green, not red
And the victims affected
Are those who caused it instead.
Jealousy, like fire, burns
But its blaze is cold, not hot
And the flames spread
Inward in the heart it caught.
Resentment, spite
And bitter greed are bred
Within the veins of the
Jade blood that’s bled.
The ice cold heart plays
Tricks on its clueless host.
Jaded is the one who
Started off caring most.
No one likes a needy fool—
It’s envy’s tragic curse.
A loving angel shall be
Turned into their very worst.

Isn’t it funny how things change?
The monster I am today,
Was once the loving friend
You simply turned away.
I admit I am no saint, but I was
No sinner to you, ever.
I just couldn’t stand it when
You thought you found better.
How was I to know you
Couldn’t see that I was hurt?
I hope even now you’ll think
Back on how I at least came first.
I’m not sorry, and I don’t think
I ever could be
For you closed your eyes
And let envy take me.
The monster I am today,
Look into my eyes,
You created this person
You so fervently despise.

Look what you've done, my dear...
I'm now a paramour of pain -
A hater of love
An exultant victim
A jaunty loser
An outsider to my own temple.

Look at these hands I've been using for a long time
As my powerful instrument
To press out the deepest emotions
And the dimension of my mind.
They're now but feeble tools
To  grasp what you throw upon me.

These wounds
I love to see them bleeding
Like those brooks overflowing
Which make the most beautiful grin in your face.
My fragile body which is now lying
Waiting for another stone
Or another blade
Coming from you.

Look what you have done to me, my dear...
I am looking ahead.
Waiting
Until


You can't stand
To see me


Dying.

My soul is trapped within
this room.
A bit strange and yet so familiar.
Or so I see.
It’s amazing how much
of a mistake
I am.
Just want to forget,
but can’t.

Do you see the scars?
I can

Within this shattered heart,
a victim.
A tiny locket all its own.
Devoid of feeling for me.
It’s amazing how much
of a mistake
I am.
Just want to forget,
but can’t.

Do you feel pain?
I can.

My voice is lost within
the echo.
It’s all around me, but
What I hear is not really me.
It’s amazing how much
of a mistake
I am.
Just want to forget,
but can’t.

Do you hear the harp playing?
I can.

Upon these unloved lips
blood drops.
A familiar earthborn tang of deception.
It I can taste.
It’s amazing how much
of a mistake
I am.
Just want to forget,
but can’t.

Do you taste salted tears?
I can.

My birth is sweetened citrus,
a boy.
Citrine and earthy.
An aroma of anguish.
It’s amazing how much
of a mistake
I am.
Just want to forget,
but can’t.

Do you smell the rain coming on?
I can.

Can you write in the dark?
I can.

She's not a shy bird,
builds an army of the disillusioned.
Fleshy sacrifices. Don't hold back,
pull every trigger,
pull every pin,
drop every bomb,
swing every blunt object
in the house if you have to.
I'll be right here waiting.
This isn't new to me;
after you lose your name,
after you lose your pride,
and after you lose your purpose,
losing your body seems to be
in line on a continuity.
Seems trivial.
Easy.

Mind over matter,
Don't mind the things that don't matter,
Don't let negative thoughts make your confidence shatter,
Let's get personal on a stranger level,
See what I did there?,
I see what you did where,
Where you pretend to be victim to your mind living unaware,
Sometimes I seems like you don't know you're pretending,
Spiraling down a scary path your descending,
Seems like this rabbit hole is never ending,
Like I said before its all mind over matter,
In wonderland your the queen, the cat, and the mad hatter,
It's doesn't matter your gender your still Alice,
Chasing this cheese loosing this rat race,
Theres a way out you just transcend gravity,
Look to the coulds take a walk with me,
The easy way up is I guess to take the ladder,
Or you could jump,
Its all mind over matter.