Now I know what it feels like to be left behind
Now I'm the one clinging to a moment lost in time
Now I'm the one mourning what´s no longer mine
Now I know what if feels like

Now I know what it feels like to be left in the dark
Now I'm the one trying to put together my betrayed heart
Now I'm the one waiting for my life to start
Now I know what it feels like

Now I know what it feels like to be despised
Now I'm the one struggling to redeem my pride
Now I'm the one declared a fool to think you were on my side
Now I know what it feels like

Now I know what it feels like to be left behind
Now I'm the one who didn´t see their hatred when I was kind
Now I'm the one who lost their dreams and changed my mind
Because now I know what it feels like

Behind the boys
I wrote these words for,
there was a man
I fell in love first...
One whom I could
not love beyond
attraction and such,
for I was not the woman
he would love back,
he was a man whom
love cannot fathom,
he was far beyond my
reach, someone I
can only look at from afar.

He was the man
whom I wanted before
I met the boys who
would break my heart
into tiny words
I used to etch
the poems
into papers...

Behind the words I wrote,
there lies the
silhouette of a man,
a man whom I
fell in love first.
Between the lines
he sleeps,
between the spaces,
he lives.

If trust is so sacred to you
why are you so stingy with it?
Why, I wonder can you not
forgive and move on
and allow the future
to unfold as it is meant to unfold
instead of constantly searching
for reasons to chase the past?

If trust is so sacred to you
then why will you not give it freely
and allow it to shine forth
and become a real part
of who you are
instead of placing it
crumb by crumb?

If trust is so sacred to you
then why not give truly from your heart
and let all who know you feel and see
that you carry such beauty
inside of you
instead of wearing that hateful fear
that eats you up inside?

Trust.
You say you want to trust me,
yet you refuse to really try.
Always searching for tidbits
to prove that you cannot have
peace of mind--
yet too, you are always, always
looking behind--

If trust is so sacred--
then allow the future to unfold
without strings knotted up
from the past.
No one can trust when they refuse
to look forward
rather than looking back...

It's killing my mind to watch him die. I'm barley alive and he's suicide.
I just keep crawling bakwards
Never gonna get you back
I can't handle the absence
I take the silence
I can't handle the absence
I can't take the silence
Oh the empty space you oocuppied
Is eating holes in my mind
Can't pick up the pieces you left behind
Oh my god I wish I could die

I see the yellow brick road
Right infront of me,
I dont know where it ends
And I don't know where it leads,
One foot infront of the other,
But alwas a step behind,
I walk down the yellow road,
But forgot to read the sign.

If i had
What then?
Would I still walk the path,
Keep going 'till the end?
Or would I turn around,
And slowly walk back home,
Or would i face the the trouble,
To find a place where I belong?

That quiet girl in the corner?
The one who seems to have no friends?
She is the one who is strongest
Who lives with the most demons
But she isn’t brought down
She has changed, sure,
And although she may be different from others,
She is happy
Even if it seems as if she’s not

That stand-out boy in the center?
The one who everyone loves?
He is the one who is weak
Who is afraid of seeing a wrong
And he is brought down by fear
He may not change
And although he may be “normal”,
He is not happy
Even if it seems as if he is

I want my words to make a difference to someone
Not so they can just accept it during the moment and forget about it for eternity
What's the point of even trying when nothing matters
Progression or bust
Not deception and lust
I have a life of meaning when it's been seen as nothing for the longest time
I wasted too much time with that mentality
So now i'm unfolding the cards
And rolling out a new slogan
Anything that defies it will just have to stay behind
Make sure you keep up with me
It might start getting a little cold
A little humid
A little too much pouring
A little too windy
A little too rough.

Our dreams haunted us like winter kisses skin,
The type of linger that often speaks of sin.

It is unforgettable, the atrocities committed that day,
Now Little Samuel has no daddy with whom he can play.

Had we regretted it, upon seeing color leave his face?
We were too preoccupied to think, as, back home we raced.

Now I wonder how long he laid there in the snow,
Due to disturbed children he didn't even know.

Up above in the sky the sun is still hot and blazing
Routine activities of the day are in full progress
Like everyone else even I know there will be less work of substance that will be available to do throughout the day
Only a few moments throughout the day will be interesting,
otherwise apart from that the present day will be same like the other days.
It's routine and it's boring, so I decide to take a leave from my work
Purpose behind the same been simple, to do something different from routine.

Once decided, I leave behind me the routine for the day as I enter into nature and its surroundings to spent my entire day.
Clear blue skies with few white clouds can now be seen moving here and there
Everything seems to have changed from prior
Each and everything seems different from routine
It’s life one gets to experience amidst nature and it’s beautiful surroundings.

The wind that blows
The water in the river that flows
The grass that grows along the riverside
The trees that sway to and fro
The clouds that move, above in the sky
Everything seems to be so normal, something that might have been seen before in past, yet so fascinating.

Life be so different, so calm, so quiet and still so interesting.
It seems as if this moment of life continues forever.

The world looks different from top of the mountain
Having reached there, the air there is clean and pure while the weather remains cool.
It's a cool, soothing experience admist nature and it's surrounding.

Green trees, green plants, green grass spread everywhere, all around the entire surrounding with the water from the river that keeps flowing.

Life seems to be so beautiful, yet so different
Still this aspect of life seems to be much more fascinating
Not only such moments in life are enjoyed, but even cherished for a long, long time,
something that will remain in the memory for quite sometime even when routine life, which will commence very soon.