He is the kind of boyfriend
who will constantly asking me
list of endless questions
like a little boy who cannot stop
his curiosity about his brand new toy
and I always answer everything
no matter how annoying he gets
because I am staring at the sentences
behind his stupid questions;
where are you at? I miss you
what are you doing? I care for you
who are you with? I'm afraid of losing you

guess I'm the luckiest girl in the world

To the people I've left behind...
I'm sorry and
I hope against hope, that we meet again.

It's been a hell of a journey
Pitfalls along the way
And days I thought
Spiraling downwards was the only way.

Turning away from good friends
Committing my sins
Only numbing the pains
As the pain only gained.

I wonder as I wonder
If I had it all wrong
Climbing upwards
And falling backwards.

I'm sorry and
I hope against hope, that we meet again.

Who will save me in the dark?
When there is no light to find,
How could they see my broken heart?
Or ease my lonely mind.

I am no light, oh not me
Though maybe once before,
I am adrift on a stormy sea
Beyond the darkest shore

Though chilly is my gentle dark,
It will not burn or scold.
And softly to my tender heart
It's cold smooth hand takes hold

Here, I get by quite well
Adrift with aimless ease,
My sweet voice joins the muted bell,
I dance with whispers in the breeze

I'll be the quiet between clock ticks,
The tremor in your lies,
The clear around lit candle wicks
The memory in your eyes

I admire you from afar
Watched you glimmer in you charade
But behind the lights, you are bizarre,
Wishing you were not made.

I don't want him to worry about me.
I know I write rather depressing things.
I just let the words come out.
It's as if I'm grabbing chips from a bowl.

So just know that when you read my words,
At times I'm not as sad as they point towards.
You have to really strive to find the sadness,
Behind my own eyes.

Sometimes I don't see it myself; until I break down.
So, just know that you have nothing to worry about.
At least not right now.

Its the three am wake up
The random shirt in the closet
Your lost phone cord
Spare change and pocket lint on my dresser
A book from last christmas
To make me feel like a lonely sock in the dryer
Abandoned like everything else

All hail the grand demise
Yes that's what they expect
Astonished, they wept, aghast as i arise

Death came, welcomed, as they sought the prize
Survivors without guilt, with laughter they
All hail the grand demise

Defiant, i stood behind my skill and guise
A Patient witness to their slaughter
Astonished, they wept, aghast as i arise

Discounted, forgotten by my past allies
They didnt think i'd make it from behind
All hail the grand demise

The few who stood before my eyes
Swelled with anger and pure contempt
Astonished, they wept, aghast as i arise

Their efforts made vain, empty, they despise
My skill and talent, at none's expense
All hail the grand demise
Astonished, they wept, aghast as i arise