Poetry
makes me believe in possibilities,
it turns the coffee table upside down
it lifts the bed from its hiding corner
it feeds me with every outlandish ideas
that offers the olive branch to my cerebrum.

It makes me feel,
wonder and believe in risk.

It challenges me.

Most of the time
when I am lost for words,
poetry patiently waits for me.

It helps me in overcoming
my scars, my fears.
It embraces my weaknesses.
It never looked down on me,
it accepts me and my individuality.

Dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline,
just pour everything in.

No rush, just honesty and reality.

Poetry
I love you
with all my sanity.

It is
not precious

it is just plain ludicrous

and full of atrocities.

Lose it, lose it
before
you thought
you can


feel it.

this world poetry day
is meaningless,
Maya, Charles, Sylvia, Allen
never even thought of it
it breeds more seed of
ego and monstrosity
deep inside those men
to lift their hands and
push us down the drain
to ensure that
we are stuck in between
honesty and reality,
forever.

I am a tough soul
that has no ego,
I let it all pour,
the drain overflows
I will never win,
adding up to the sin
Jugra sees me fled
the scene with
stained pen and
****** paper
and I thought
the moment I left
gone, already gone,
disappeared, diminished
finally freed
but for all that, I am still there.

I am at the tower
looking around
but the weather
will check on the ground
and betray me,
betray me,
weakened and hungry
for truth and honesty
one day you'll triumph
over my disgusting failure
childless, spineless
and I will miss
all the thousand words
that you have never confessed.

They will never set me free,
and they will always remember me.

Into the night
we stand still
and hold on tight
whatever we feel
unless it is right
we foot the bill
to reverse the tide
overflow overflow
change the world
so that we can grow.

It doesn't feel right
when the neon is too bright
and instinct is out of sight
give me a rollercoaster ride
before you hold me tight
push me with all your might
but when it doesn't feel right,
it doesn't feel right.

I am an old-fashioned ****
that is trapped in a cyber,
instant millenial era
I want to profess my love
to you over the airwaves
sandwiched between
blue monday, common people
and have a picnic at the park
crisps, juices and dog barks
are the only precious things
that will lift our spirits on
every days that are like sundays
when peace has failed to fulfill
the entire notion of an idle landfill
I want to march against the tyrant
and be with Jeremy and Malcolm
at the front, resisting the Krokodils
and defend the wall in Berlin
from falling all over this sacred land.

But now here I am,

scrolling through all
the madness, loneliness
desperation of a generation
following through the routines
that will not fail to appear as
fake, ignorance,
foolish, blood smeared
and expressing my emotions
over it is the most that I can do
posting on what I believe
is the best that I can do.

We are all dead, buried
**** into the lively deathbed
and the funny part is
we are all livid and sad,

At the same time,
all at the same time.

I regret
looking at the sky
with bare eyes
leading a choir
after a failed heist
tailing the stairwell
that goes to nowhere
throwing the sand
into the vast thin air
plucking the pear
from the dying trees
closing the doors
from a pack of wolves
storming out without
leaving a single trace
rocking the balans chair
to lock the innerspace
watering the rotten
and yellowish plants
yelling at all of
the bare shadows
watching the paint
goes dry and shy
aching at the sight
of tender butterfly
wearing the tremors
out of the dying luck
punching the weight
by a hard-boiled spate
quelling the thoughts
of the spinning bolt
flushing rapidly
the medals and stature
tumbling over the concern
amid the immense fear
visiting the old memoria
out of angsty melancholy
drawing out the crowd
out of fiery intimacy
dragging the woven sack
to the stuffy warehouse
questioning the pride
of a bleak posthumous
ripping the joy through
the thorny interrogation
piling the myth over
the existential desperation
pinning everything,
everything on a single thing.

There is a wall,
in every telling truths.

I ignored the final call
to the promise land,
and I shall be celebrated.

I look
past
your
own past,

and you
should look
past
my
own past.

Despite realizing that,

We
are
made
of our
own past.

I have no sorrow in my eyes
only life that I borrow before I die.

I
won't
mourn
over
my
eventual
demise.

I
just
want
to
keep
in mind.

I
am
done
with
lies.

Walking
out
of
thin
line.

Running
o­ut
of
time.

Flower dwindles
for another flower
Thunder strikes
for another thunder
Summer arrives
for another summer
but human left without
any shadow on sight
and they do not leave
for themselves
but the ego in them.

Nobody forced them
nobody stick a knife
at the back of their neck
if they are not willing,
the door is always open
commitment is crucial
presence is superficial
don't you dare tying
the undone shoelaces
when the sole is destined
for the sweet destruction.

I am
just
a kid.

a kid
that you
have to
beat.

beat meat, beat meat,
beat meat,
today is
your turn
for a treat.

It was once high up to the brim,
the storm, the wave, the breeze,
as we are carried to the middle
of the uncharted yet wild sea
and the sun about to rise
the dusk about to disappear
we let the rosy amethyst
came and became the catalyst
the catalyst of the uprising
and we are no longer undermined,
now the dam is no longer a dam too.

The moment you depart
from the stagnant, terrifying pole
I can see it through the glassy eyes
that you picked up the shards,
and shades of all the energy in us
before putting it on the plane
oh sweet soul, sweet untold
but I can feel it, and you can't hold it.

You are the embodiment of truth
a destroyer of corroborated lies
the sun slips away, oh you make it stays
everything in place, oh sunny side days
I am amazed at how far I've went
without having you at the other end
you put the meaning in Ying Yang
gone are the days of firing blank.

The age of understatement passed
horizon hangs from dawn till dusk
enthusiasm for the solitary odeum
helianthus laid at the mausoleum
you killed the ever-present sadness
and the endless parallel to happiness,
the tomb has finally been breached
I'm dumbfounded, bewitched.

You right the wronged in me,
and the spectrum burst into something
unlike the Pandora's box
Magna Carta suffered, and love
is all that I've ever heard.

You can rant,
rant and rant
rant and rant
all you want.

but it is never
intended to be
something fun.

Rant, my son.
Rant.

I confront myself every night
struggling to make ends meet
wiped the dust off my thorny feet
but the moment I indulge
in the confusing exchange
the suffocating, the suffering
betray the ever-present inkling.

I dreamt of my freedom
soaring high
from the eruptive Damascus
with the destructive Andronicus
to the mighty nebula and burst
visible in the night sky
horrible to your naked eyes
and I knew if it happens,
my time, my fate
would end and I
could comprehend.

Release me
from this
terrifying temple
prosecuting throne
horrifying reefs
tormenting prison.

Mama shall burn me
tonight,
out of everyone’s sight.

Pretending to be
a functional adult
is exhausting.
Pretending to be
a conventional writer
is much more
frustrating.

25.5.2014

This ideation
with any prevention
or without
any encouragement
will still be an ideation.

The proposition
to vanish
and disperse
the entire town
within this state
is nothing more
of an eternal insult
to the intelligence
of any insurgency.

The resolution
to establish
and entertain
an institution
is nothing more
like an immolation
committed by those
who are severely loyal
on the day of a funeral rite.

The confession
of his excitement
towards his own
destruction and
epidemic distortion
is nothing more
like a random fly
dancing gleefully
to its own death.

This ideation
with any prevention
or without
any encouragement
will still be an ideation.

24.5.2014

I've poured
half of my juice
inside the glass
on top of the table
when the nature
came calling.
So, I went to the loo
expecting the juice
to wet my throat
and work its magic
few seconds later.

Turns out
the cat had climbed
the table and
accidentally kicked
the glass
while reaching
for the fried pomfret
under the cover
which I never noticed
the existence of it
while I was away.

I have lost the word
to describe
the situation
and I have lost my mind
over the situation.

22.6.2014

My dear,
you are the greatest of them all.
You don't have to worry that
the chimney is running out of fire.
You are the most powerful and
the most efficient gasoline
needed for in me, for your presence
and companion I will light up
the whole world,
You never left me in
bewilderment and perplexity
all you did was making me
lament at the thought of
the complexity.

22.5.2014

There is no way we can
determine
not every smile reflects
happiness
not every weep reflects
sadness
we have zero
chance
on guessing our fate.

I thought it was easy
to be you
and
you thought that
it was easy
to be me
but
nobody thought that
it is not easy
to be anybody.

There is no way
we can determine
anything.

29.10.2014

there is
a hole
a space
an empty bracket
in me
waiting patiently
to be filled
like a junkyard
a ***** bottle
a sanitarium
a minute
after the minute
you read this
on every clock
and once it is filled
with all the particles
needed
I will rise
like a tiger
released from its cage
like a thunder
freed off the cloud
I won't even care
about the universe
because I decide how
the stars, the rocks
out of the black hole
collide and erupt
and nobody can
stop me from
breaking the lines
crashing the minds
of the constellation
to seek
something out of it
as it is just
a mere sign
that I looked
in solitude and
compassion.

There is a hole
that is
waiting patiently to be
filled in me,
there is.

The genius in the crowd
it does not mean that they are loud
sometimes, they look just like the rest
but they are here to create the chaos
to every star, every meteor
in the entire infinite universe
they are not supposed to keep tight
being remote and ideally fit everyone's sight
and chased away the adrenaline
to crush the convex of the serpentine
they will never cause any harm
the time and space will always be there
waiting for its monster to grab it
while bleeding profusely by just doing it
as the stop watch ticking, closing down
on everything but nothing
they realize and aware of the potential
of losing any remembrance at their disposal
as they divert everything away from the sunshine
you will weep and sink into the oblivion
of eternal shadow and spirit
letting all your troubles and mistakes free and
knowing they have not hit the stride at all.
The genius in the crowd
does not mean that they do not look like the rest.

There was a cotton candy
wrapped with a bleeding ham
on my spineless lap
the lady luck smiled at me
while handing me
a burning, fiery horseradish
and while I'm shaking
at the point of receiving,
I felt free and relieved.

I took turn
ramming it up my mouth
one by one
pieces by pieces
yes I did, I did
sado masochism
Sade barbarism
but it felt nothing
out of this world
I felt at ease, I felt at home.

I bit my lips and wanted more.
but nothing could have
satisfied me,
and I always knew it.

I command myself to do so,
so do I.

Death
knows no
victim
death
knows no
mind
death
knows no
regret
for everything
that death
has done
it is just
part and
parcel
of its
own
duty.

I wanted
I really
I really, really
wanted
to write
something
that is so
beautiful
something
that only
an angel
could think of
something
that blows
our possessed
crooked minds
away
something
that could
captured
the heart
of thousand roses
and rhinos.

Noting
on what I
am doing
at the
moment,
lies are
here
to stay
to feed
to satisfy
those with the
precious
unperturbed
untortured
minds
to congratulate
them at
the end
of their
endless quest.

I don't
remember
or
can quite
understand it
whether
all this
will drag me
into hell
or heaven
whether
all this
will lead me
to the tip of
the sky
or the edge of
the sea
whether
this is
a true love
or just
an honest obsession.

But
every single
morning
when I wake up
with you
in my arms
as I stare
deep from
the end of my
fiery eyes
to the end
of your
flowery eyes
there,

I knew it.

I just knew it
and
I deserve it.

we are like
a glass full
half of water
and most of us
want the other half
to be filled
for the feeling
of full, tight grip
breathtaking
drowning
because that
is what makes
this life complete
and for them
anything
that fills in
the vacant
empty space
it could be
apple cider
rice wine
maple syrup
rat’s blood
as long as
it fills
they are
content
and satisfied.
but for
some people
like me
the void
and cold nature
of the space
that has been
keeping us
alive
and
we cannot
be bothered
by it
at all.

For more than a year
we never met each other
and nothing turns out any
better;

it is just an illusion of time that makes us suffer.

while I am busy
stitching up the patches
you are distracted by the
marching orders.
as every single particles
seem to be the same
there is nothing for us to
blame
the lilium has died
disgusted at the idea of
having it sprinkled
all over your dress
and those kids were never
born
shamed at the thought
of me lifting them all over my
face.
I think we are just too shy
to admit that we are
desperate
desperate enough to cover
up the memories
to run away from all the
reality
and to realize
that nothing ever change
since that day.

Too many times
in our life
we have
been given
the clue
and we should
have known
that it has
no other duty
besides that
it will build
us up
or break
us down.

There is nothing
much to worry
in this life
except for
our acts
and its
consequences.

Regardless of anything
there is nothing that you can do
to avoid those feelings
even if you were
burning
choking
drowning
you are left alone reeling
at the thought of wanting
to know the truth
to know the lies
the real sabotage
the real assistance
you want to know
everything
when most of the time
you are not going to
get the answer for
everything
sometimes the universe
works in the most
inexplicable
indescribable
ways
and you wish you were
the one chosen
to break the customary
to break the molecule
but you could never
get the answer for its
authenticity
for its ridicule.

you are not going to
get the answer for
everything.
never.

you
know
that.

Too many things
happened
within a
short period
of time
while the time itself
was caught by surprise
by its own nature
by its ability
by its tendency
of delivering
sucker punch
within a
short period
of time.

What I think
what I say
and what I do
shall not be a meal
that you can indulge in
before you digest
and criticize it.

This freedom
this tiny little space
that I am able to afford
is not for you to steal, rob or breach
and I have fought through
thousand of nights and days
with nobody but myself
to gain all this.

Therefore,
I shall refrain myself
from doing things
that will inflict the process
as there is enough barbarism
in this world
without my help.

And it might be useful
for you to know that
what you think
what you say
and what you do
is something that
I am not interested in
and not something
for me to have a hand in
unless it has something
to do with me but
as you might have known
there is nothing that I can do
about it.

So,
bon appetite!

Break the door
to pieces
you own nothing
and I got just three pennies
spinning on my left index finger
as I lock myself in the thorny cage
to amaze you
but you
have drowned yourself
and it is true
I know none inside of you
but the cat has nine lives
so do I have to lick it
back and forth
just like it used to do that to you
after pushing
the brick off the wall,

well maybe
I have lost my sense
but you know that
you don't have to be that dense.

Maybe,maybe,
maybe
we are all terribly lost.

I etch your name
deep in my soul,
past the thickest
skin,
the toughest
bone,
and there is
no one
to be blamed
for that
except me.

Don't you
worry
I will be
just fine
but not like how
you want
me to be.

O' I can see that
things are much
clearer now
but somehow
I still don't like it
for your presence
is something
that I miss
seeing you move around
is pleasantly
destroying my ground
like how we have fought
and I thought
that I was an
absolute Messiah
but I was wrong.

You are the moon
that reflects the light
from the everpresent
Mata Hari
without you
my world is dark
and clueless.

Please, don't make another move,
may the constellation
soon collide
so that I can be with you
and shed the brightest light.

Forever.

Your opinions
will always
be invalid
for what I think
and what I do
I don't need
you to
justify it.

Don't waste
your time
in questioning
the way
I paint my own
land, sun, moon
sand, sea, cloud.

I can even destroy it
within a blink of yours
if I wanted to.

Everyone does it
in their own style.

Don't you think so?

Age
shall not
worry me,
nor the years
condemn.

I yearn
for an existence
that goes beyond
everything,
and nothing
deserves to bind me
and dethrone me
from my own
plateau.

I deserve
every single breathe
that I heave,
and there is
nothing off me
that you can
steal.

I'm afraid,
afraid of something
something that feels like
tailing me,
but don't, don't
don't mistaken this
it doesn't follow me
neither haunts me,
out of necessity
it reflects of something
when I looked upon
the troubled water
from the unending bridge.

It hits me,
like a hanging skin being stitched.

To know whether you are strong
or not,
break, break and
break everything
that you have
into bits and pieces.

Only then
you will know
whether you
deserve to be here,
or you should just
cease to exist.

Well, we are all going to diminish, eventually.

After all,
we are made from
nothing else but
bits and pieces
either it is
a dream
that you nurture
all this time or
a trait
that you pick up
from others or
a move
that you steal
from a movie.

Break it
for its strength
and invincibility
it will still survive
and kick everything
into life.

A puzzle
would never be
complete
on its own.

It is great. It lasts forever.
It trumps life. It persuades time in no time.
It is full of uncertainties. It is an adventure.
It concludes everything. It is our home.

Denying its greatness
will only
make your own
looks like a desperate attempt
in asking for forgiveness.

I want to return
I want to give back
all the good things
I do not want to perish
in the broad daylight
I do not want to wilt
in the coldest night
and in doing so
I need this life,
I mean it this time
I do,

I really do.

Things deteriorated
at an alarmingly rate
and we are set
for another horrendous spate.

But this is our time,
there's no such thing as fate
and you always know,
that nothing is ever
too late.

So you thought
that you can run
away,
escape from
all the misery
pain
and tragedy.

You give your best
you try
every option
of escapism
that available
upon you,
you thought
everything will
disappear
once you move away
from the place
that you stand.

But,
you are wrong
those things
won't simply
go away.

Never.

There is no
calmness
and happiness
in poetry
those things won't
just fit in.
All that's left
in this
is madness
emptiness
and hopelessness.

When Socrates
said in Phaedrus
that poetry
is a form of
madness,
he must
have encountered
a truly, beautiful
mess.

I possess nothing,
no power
or authority,
all I have is
this body, mind
and soul,
and I wish nothing
will stumble upon it,
as I will change
all the directions
and possessions
towards the
eternal space and hole
that I have created and breathe
for you to contend with.

Everything is out
of my hand,
and it is hard for me
to understand.

At which point, does a man realized
that he is everything but a human who he thinks he is?

I am asking for your permission
to allow me to cut open your abdomen
so that I can pull your intestines
before your eyes and display it
just like the fish and the hen
at the daily market.
You may chew and taste it on your own
before you digest it,
and figure out whether
it will grow again or not.
Never mind, I had enough of this blood smell
so I am just going to ring the bell again,
and I am asking you again:

At which point, does a man realized
that he is everything but a human who he thinks he is?

He is immune to things that could shake him
for years and years
like the rohypnol, cotton bleach, light beam
more tears and tears
been shed upon the Christ's myth
and nothing could indulge in more width.

He can never lie in the bunk
throughout the summer, forever
a thousand of ships have allegedly sunk
into the oblivion, since we gather
in the acrimonious way in withholding
the frivolous conviction that we refused.

He missed thousands of roses, lilies, daisies
He stepped on it, he couldn't resist
when they arrived to announce the capture from the harem
he departed just to leave a terrifying mark all over them.

He dragged his soul through the abandoned street
street of hope and lie that forget to greet
tend to set ablaze any shape of territory
Inferno's fault is that it never told us the whole story.

He is now dancing alone on the sacred mountain
savoring the peace that he thought he could never obtain
horrendous mistake when they set him apart to be blamed
even Abraham made up something to take everyone's sight off the frame.

They shirk their responsibilities resulting in the furor
he wished that he can never be bothered anymore
for John, Donald, Henry are passersby in waiting
and the Sun now, seems to be brighter and deafening.

It feels like
you just came
and visited me
yesterday.

The lemonades
and Anna Karenina
left open
on top of
the coffee table
waiting for us
to drink it
till there is
not a single drop
and for us to read
to debate
and to fight over
before we close it
and go through
another tale.

But you are not here
as the table
has been left
unattended
long time ago.
It was not
there alone
just like the day
we dragged it home
from the waste bay
and stationed it
at the center
of the hall.
It was full of mess,
dirt and marks
I can't hardly see
any signs
of love and
happiness
and pride,
the same feelings
we used to have
on it.

We used to run
to the grocery
down the corner
and laughed at
all the flattery
over the dinner
We used to kick
all the jittery
over the thunder
and shoved
the maturity
down the throat
but now we are
slowly getting
used to be like
a stranger
like a feather
off the duster
fly separately
on its own
to meet the final
destination
of its soul.
you are
no longer
here with me
to encounter
the thunder
as the lady luck
choose to
smile on you
and I fall into
the lethal oblivion
that stays longer
than the morning dew.

You may have
long gone
perhaps to the
end of the world
or to the center circle
of the endless whirl
it might be forever
or just like
the stay with me
that ends
prematurely,
but I hope
you know that
you will always
reside in the back
of my mind
at the bottom
of my heart
permanently.