Every day I lose a part of the past me
to gain a part of the future me.

I am someone who doesn’t know himself after all these years.
I am someone who has unknown fears.
I am someone who wants to express without being vocal.
I am someone who wants to share, without being social.
I am someone who doesn’t care but still cares.
I am someone who looks harsh but has emotional layers.
I am someone who enjoys loneliness, the company of his own.
I am someone who connects and stares through the phone.
I am someone who wants to travel roads and miles.
I am someone whose life is entangled in files.
I am someone who dreams like a child.
I am someone who acts weird and wild.
I am a human, a mere human I am.
This is who I am, I have no shame.

After the last year of college
Taking all the baggage
Leaving this world of dreams
Have to face a world full of ruthless screams
Don't know whether we will be able to handle that pressure
But one thing is sure, we will miss these days of pleasure
Will never forget the feeling of first bunk
How we used to try to be hunks
How we used to stare girls sitting in the cafet
Sharing everything was our habit
How we used to fight for sitting back
Lectures were used to be our headache
How we used to irritate teachers
Used to sleep during boring lectures
How we used to study last night during exam time
Attending classes were used to be a crime
How we used to look here and there in the examination hall
Used to abuse to give each other  a call
How we used to run whenever the dean was on the round for dress check
Used to blame each other whenever made mistakes
How we used to break the rules
Thrown out of the class was used to be the status of being cool
How we used to chat on Facebook late night
Used to be the parts of online fights
Now when we have only one year with us
Don't want it to pass like a bus
Want to live each and every minute like a ton
Want to make every second of it a memorable one
Because I know that the time never turns back
Memories are the only thing that we will have

Maybe I dwell on things too much
Keep on overthinking
These thoughts are such predators
Keep on consuming
Me and my words, I never uttered
Fear of ruining
The things that might actually matter
To me assuming
Everything is ok, it can't be better
Life not dooming
That's why I'm such a procrastinator
Keep on procrastinating

Everybody wants happiness
Everybody has dreams
Not Everybody gets satisfaction
Everybody loves someone
Everybody longs love
Not Everybody finds love
Everybody knows pain
Everybody has struggles
Not Everybody survives

Even though you are dead to me
Still, you are the last face I wanna see
Pushing on the death pedal, riding to hell
In the hope of meeting there, when you sleep
Because hell is where you deserve to be
I was no good and you are no better
Hell or heaven, does it even matter?
All I want is to be together
Even if I have to suffer

People say love can fix everything
What if love broke you in the first place?
People say life's all about cherishing
What if all you ever got was a disgrace?
People say friends are the family you choose
What if you are born renegade?

Who? Who?
Who the hell are you dude?
Looking in the mirror and it got me confused
I am your alter ego, you worthless fool
"Hello?"
What's wrong, why are you here?
You need to listen to this, what I am about to share.
What are you trying to say, I can't understand it.
Why don't you just leave? I am turning to manic
What the hell is going on, I can't comprehend
He said
Why are you waiting? you have to go far
Why don't you just believe me and aim for stars
Dude, you are nothing just thought that pop
The road will be tough, you will get scars
He said that it's ok, you will be fine
Couple cuts and bruises you will be alright
You don't need anyone, I'm here by your side
Who the hell are you? telling me this why
I am the one, who don't want you to be ******
See yourself dude, don’t you feel pity?
No limit in the sky you can't fly
You got soul, you shouldn't quit
******* dude, you are just a lie
No man I am you, dude don't be shy
Walk off that door, have to pick up your fight
Have to do it now, you know time just flies
It's your choice, you need to make a call
Fight for yourself, it's ok even if you fall
You'll probably think I'm stupid, what I am looking for
Felt like hours before I finally reached the door
As I walked out of that door, mind full for fear
Legs were shivering, as I step down the stairs
My heart is ******* beating, thoughts were not clear
My stomach ******* turning, all I'm feeling was fear
Things started moving and the sun was shinning
Don't get yourself stuck here, see life's silver lining
These aren't mere words you won't know how it feels
But I hope you never do because I swear that it kills
Life leaves pains that are impossible to heal
But you have you, you are irreplaceable

Love is nothing
Just a chemical reaction
Start with lust
And some infatuation
A little bit of banters
Lots of affection
Sometimes profound
Sometimes make you insane
It hurts you too
When they are in pain
You seize it hard
Believing it will be an eternity
Then you hurt each other
Giving fatal injuries
It gets worse
As you grow apart
You get mad
Picking each other's fault
You are left sad
Eventually breaking your heart
As reaction fade
You look for a new start

I am going back in time
Even if it takes years or infinity combined
In my imagination, you are sitting by my side
And you smile as your strands are flying
Oh wait, let me check
When you look at me like that
Don't know what to expect
I probably still adore you, when your eyes reflect
The light from the distant sunset, hands around my neck
Wanted to protect, instead of hurting you every time
But I break when you cry rather than smile
I'm the one to spoil a surprise
It seems like you've had to greet me goodbye
Frightened by the wound though it's not too harsh
What's the point in thinking of the start
When you are at the finish line
Letting you go too soon
So, I am going back in time
Even if it takes years or infinity combined
In my imagination, you are sitting by my side
And you smile as your strands are flying

The fear of losing you is much awful than fear of not finding me.
But the worth of finding me is much precious than holding on to you.

What would you do?
When every word you utter fails you
What would you do?
When nothing in this world enthralls you
What would you do?
When you don't know how to let loose
What would you do?
When you don't know what to feel too
What would you do?
Are the same questions in your mind too?
Or if you have answers that I might woo
Could you share with me, give me some clues?
To the road, I should choose
And figure out what should I do

Death knocking on the door,
No need to pour any more,
I've had enough drink of life.
Let the bar shut to close,
There is no remorse,
We had a fun night.

Panic on my brain
Feeling all insane
How did we end up here?
World is upside down
Town is shutdown
Why nobody no more care?
All I need, Some peace for me
And Everyone out there
How can I see?
Wave of positivity
When I'm alone quarantine
Working from my home
Eating dinner alone
When all of this will end?
Starring at my phone
Sitting bored in home
Today, a weekday or weekend?
All I need, Someone joins me
And get some air
How can I see?
Wave of positivity
When I'm alone quarantine

I'm not afraid of commitment.
I'm afraid of is you having resentment.
I'm not afraid of us fighting.
I'm afraid of us never amending.
I'm not afraid of us changing.
I'm afraid of us not prevailing.
I'm not afraid of living rough.
All I'm afraid of is not being enough.

There is something about her,
It isn't easy to state.
She is a stranger to me,
Only once have we met.
Yet so familiar,
Like sunrise-sunset.
I wish to write it down,
But I'm no poet.

You want all my love
But gives no affection
You push me away
Still expect my passion
You treat me wildly
But accept nothing frictional
Remember, this ain't a fairy tale
This love isn't unconditional

How can I keep on fighting for you?
When you gave up on me so easily
How can I come back to you?
When us I no more see
How can I say "I Love You"?
When I'm no more in love with me
How can I be true to you?
When I don't know how to be

Stay with me
I'm gonna write you a song
A song you can spin on repeat
Whenever you are alone
A song made of memories
That can be framed on your wall
A song that will keep you calm
Whenever things are going wrong
A song that will keep your spirit up
Whenever you descend to fall 
A song that will feel like I'm there
Even if I'm gone
A song that will put a smile on your face
Even if it's for a second or so
Stay with me
I'm gonna write you a song

Somewhere deep inside me,
There is a nice guy 
Who wanna care about people
Or at least give a try 
But, that guy is impossible to find
Sold him to evil
Believing, there is no divine
Buried him inside
This world, a living hell in disguise
Full of selfish minds
Since this world, no place for that type
No, I ain't a nice guy