Write with me a thing of beauty
For everyone to see
To gaze upon our very souls
Together, you and me
Words that dance upon the heart
Like a feather on the skin
Feelings painted honestly
In hues from deep within
Write with me a thing so lovely
That everyone will know
The purest of emotions
In two hearts at once betrothed

I see it in the sound of your voice
The world beat you down
There was no choice
Still you smile......
                                       For me

I hear it in the pain in your eyes
In the silent screams
And deafening cries
Still you smile......
                                       For me

When it passes as it always does
And you're pastel happy
Just because
Still you smile......
                                       For me

Wind chime laughter's hypnotic tones
Dancing
Through the telephone
Still you smile......
                                       For me

Through every mood, emotion and sigh
You're by my side
No question why
Always you smile......
                                       *For me

Slipping further away
Deeper into the darkness
Bad choices and wrong turns
Weigh the anchor speeding descent
Plastic smiles and crocodile tears
Which is the mask?
Where does the truth lie?
Reaching down to offer a reprieve
There is no hand to grasp
Helpless, watching
Tears burning as the light fades to nothing
Where is the fire that lit you from within?
If you reach for me,
I will always be there

Satin runs from dried stains
in torn reminders of convenience
Morning tastes of stale sweat and disappointment... again

Displaced retribution is a punishable offense
sentenced in hangover flashbacks fusing pain in lust heavy deviance
coddling complacency, impaling the nuisance of a persistent past

That serrated double edge glistens with humility and humiliation
licked clean by ravenous canine
flinging leftover apathy on unwitting pawns

Feeding on the deceptively needy
blinded by intoxicated cliches
mistaking release for emotion

Condemnation bartered in stolen commodities
Toilet water hydration reconstitutes enough to bleed
behind neuropathic armor and addiction to the nether

There is peace
In a heart that can't be given
For there is no fear
Of it ever breaking

The pain seeps out in flashes of insanity
I do not doubt you love me
Though I will always wonder why
In my shattered self-image
In my innate ability to be unseen
Was born an adolescent desire
A desperate need
A yen to be quenched of doubt
To be noticed
To be seen
Both within and without
In that longing to be alive
To be sure that I am a tangible being
In that way I push limits
I test boundaries like a child
Taxing the last nerve of an exhausted parent
Pushing hard until something breaks
Proving I matter enough
Or proving I can bend reality
Until I matter not
To anyone
For surely there is a reason I remain
Unseen
Unheard
Invisible
Intangible
Irrelevant
And Unnoticed
So I push when I'm hurt
Because you promised you won't leave
And I believe you
You said I meant everything I always wanted to mean to someone
And I believe you
You said you'd do anything and everything it takes to make me smile
And I believe you
The pain seeps out in flashes of insanity
I test boundaries like a child
Not because I doubt you
Because I need to always believe

carbon copy
******* kids
all square and full of holes
chasing
someone else's dreams
doing only as they're told

gaping wounds
conformity
it's useless to resist
grayscale thoughts
behind closed eyes
rainbows do not exist

follow the leader
play pretend
grown-up rules, abide
broken backs
and camel straws
there is no place to hide

technicolor
memories
it was just a game
forty years
of servitude
society's to blame

here and now
when youth is young
and colors bold and bright
uncharted paths
with neon skies
teach them hold true and tight

planets turn
and water flows
when dreams, have yet, to die
tomorrows
more than yesterdays
the young see bluer skies

heart confused with head
body with soul
lead by carnal need, wanton abandon
and primal desire
to be pulled so strongly cannot be denied
'tis not the excitement of the unknown or forbidden
'tis a ravenous feast that awaits, neigh pulls
against all that is believed
there is no rhyme or reason
logic fails
still, bodies giving in at the very thought
hearts abandoned left behind
there is nothing but the flames
prepared to consume all in its path

The epidemic of conformity consumes all
Children play by board game rules
Stifled by the world to paint a proper picture
They draw flowers of red with stems of green
Fields of wildflowers viewed as weeds enveloped in insecticides
Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet
That is a rainbow, in that order alone
We are taught to live by the colors in a box of eight crayons
But even so, those colors cannot make a proper rainbow
A rainbow should be praised if drawn in mixed-breed hues
That field of flowers, natures pallet
We should begin with a box of 124 and grow infinitely
Where lilac dragons can live in cherry trees
Where those waist-high weeds hide the predator from the prey
For where would we be without cops and robbers, or hide and seek
In a world where out of sight incites widespread panic
Children's laughter in the sun is slowly silenced by the rules
Instead, embrace the joy and encourage creativity
We should harbor imagination and develop unreality
For it is there that is born the ideas that will form the future

The swirling nebulous
Breathes on its own
Filling each void
A muddled mess of memories
Swim with thoughts and emotion
A polluted lagoon of a life
The mind's eye clouded
By infinitesimal particulates
Each holding a moment of life
Each holding a piece of the puzzle of a person
Each begging to be noticed
The screaming silence
Renders a mind useless
Still, the heart will hold what the mind releases
The mind will hold what the heart releases
Should the cloud dissipate
Should there be room to think
What would happen to the pieces
Forgotten at will
Erased by need
Each tiny piece soldered into a whole
Or left to float on its own
Can it really be forgotten
Each particle is particular and matter matters

Do not look at me
with sad eyes
reflecting a life
you choose to hate

Good intentions backed by bad juju

I see it
behind your dead end job
hidden in your lack of hobbies

There in the emptiness in your mind
is the remnants
of the dream you let atrophy

As it got weak
you got stuck in a place
you thought would be another stepping stone

Do not look at me
with eyes shooting bile
behind a smile that breeds contempt

I refuse to be touched
by your silent hope
of my failure

You cannot **** my dreams
just because
you let yours die

Do not look at me
with eyes that plead for me
to carry you along for my ride

It is mine alone
My dream
cannot feed you

I will not lay it at your feet
to sully it's purity
with the soles of the shoes
you use to walk
through your own crap

Do not look at me
with the hope that my dreams
With give their life for yours

"Smile and the world smiles with you"
only works
when hope springs eternal

There is no hope
in that job that grows
while watching your soul die

So I do not smile
as I walk down the street

I look straight ahead
holding fast
to all that makes me whole

And if I do look at you...

I look at you
with kindness
and I am happy for your success

I look at you
with understanding
for we are all going through
the consequences of our choices

I look at you
with hope that you see me
and remember you once had a dream

I look at you
and wish you love and peace

and maybe

Reflected in my eyes
You can see
the best of who you are

Distance looms
In close proximity
A thousand miles away
Close enough to touch
Together alone
Alone Together
No words
Silence is deafening
A smile and a nod
Polite discomfort
Alone together
Together alone

Hugging knees in darkest corners
Leaving love behind
Sinking so deeply, light is lost
Spirit broken
Heart shattered
Soul torn
Before the mending could begin
Before the pieces could be swept up
Smacked to the ground
Crushed into powder
Irreparably damaged
Irrevocably heartless
Too much love begets too much torment
Agonizing over unowned burdens
Cold shadows become welcoming
As warmth feels more like **Hell

Tall grassy fields full of sunflowers
Warm sun dancing through the swiftly moving clouds
Wildflowers sprinkled across the meadow like confetti
Butterflies scatter as you pass
Filling the world with movement and beauty
The tickling wings flutter by and a smile emerges
Unsuppressed and innocent

Confined in close quarters
begging for quarantine
love tastes like carrion

Breathing mold spores
appeals more than
the kiss of a dying heart

For to taint joy
with the stink of decay
haunts honesty with living lies

A heavy heart
cannot power the light
that fuels a soul

Eyes blinded by passion as you grab my hair
Claimed as yours, you display proudly
And I  cannot hold still
Desire burns hot
You stick your fingers through my smile and make room
Room to claim me as yours, once and for all
A fistful of hair positions you inside of me
Eyes water with depth
Trying to breathe, I squirm
Held gently but firmly in place
A naughty smile and a Twinkle in those hazel eyes
No, you will not win,
Not this time.
For I am not yours
You are mine
My rod of molten steel
My elixir of life
Mine
Hold me in place and take it home
My eyes never leave yours
You watch intently as you disappear, repeatedly
I can't help but smile, though I have no room to do so
Warm and wet i take what you give
And when I am released
I find myself sharing the joy

Permeating the depths through cracks in the wall
The light fades into darkness once more
The hope of its return glimmers

The path to tomorrow is paved with those glimmers
Toward a day when that hope will break the wall
And the future will shine so brightly once more

When no longer remains a longing for more
The glare born in hope is much more than that glimmer
And powdered earth is all that is left of the wall

Light must return through cracks in the wall, darkness can be taken no more, a glimmer is not much to hold onto.

Sweetness be ******
I'm dancing in hell
Dipping my feet in the sea of souls
Breathing in the scent of deadly sins
Slow and tender long faded past
Slapped to the precipice with a pendulum of flesh
As the sacred dagger of life
Stabs bouts of ecstasy
To the hilt
Hammer of the Gods
And all is right in the world

hearts bought and sold on whimsy
dark secrets screamed aloud
resonate in empty heart chambers
dislodging logic
as ripples shift sense to passion

sold for a song
bought for practice
eyes open, heart shut
heart open, eyes shut
bubbling cauldrons
casting spells
deeper, deeper, deeper down
darkness blinds normality
and bends reality

let go/ hold on
tighter, until hands weaken
watching shadows of self
chasing shadows of yesterday
fear or excitement
aroused or afraid

enchanting eyes in navy winter
trust a stranger and lose yourself
trust yourself and lose a connection
tied in musky fog
to the inside of another
chained to that which claimed you
for nothing more than cupidity

Blistered by acrid words
that swathe the air in impotence
I breathe the rancid syrup
that once begged to be lapped in carnivorous need

As verbal warfare turns disdain into silent art
Sickening orange blossom undercurrents
return deserts to waterfalls
in a futile battle of willpower and desire

Hunger breeds contempt in savage instincts
that brew both lust and loathing
Lurid fire burns the forest leaving ashen shame
that swathes the air in *impotence

The familiarity of helplessness
Thrice-fold upon return
Has churned up the sleeping trolls
Now dancing on the nerves of the lost
A happy dance it is they do

Minutes to hours to days to weeks
No one can find what they do not seek
Persist even when the future is bleak
Make better choices
The heart is strong when the spirit is weak
Don't heed the voices

The ones that speak to you alone
That talk you into what you can't condone
They say you have no mind of your own
And the flesh will rule you
And you feel a child, even though you're grown
How the mind can fool you

Feelings overrule the mind
The heart is ever so unkind
With temptation close behind
It's logic or passion
It's a battle you will find
of brutal fashion

Lodged between the moral wrong
More than tragedy in song
Walking where you don't belong
The path's not chosen
Standing still, yet pulled along
Toward a heart Ambrosian

Sitting in the dark
The Universe descends into oblivion
The only reality is us
The only truth is this very moment
In all its honesty
Filled with both longing and love
No thought but to be blanketed in each others electricity
Perhaps a hint of perfection
Or what feels enchanted
If things were different
If the Universe still existed
If reality was this,
Two hearts in desperate need
Finding what they weren't even looking for
If an honest heart meant an honest life
If this moment was everything
Then...

                    happines does exist

Boiling blood and angry eyes
Boil over in tears that do not cry
For this idea, one last good-bye
Is a selfish notion
Proximity breeds what hearts belie
Jagged emotion
So this, our little rendezvous
I swore that I would never do
Until, of course, you asked me too
The doorknob's turning
Now, it must be followed through
My heart lies burning
Ferocity to match my own
Intensifies this time alone
The love has long-since been outgrown
There is no forgiveness
Just pleasure like we’ve never known
This time, I’ll win this
Then finally, you’ll realize
I’ve grown into these golden thighs
That seem to have you hypnotized
Within their power
And far too late you realize
You’ve been devoured
By the woman who stands glistening bare
Watching you with tainted glare
In a flash the passion flares
Drunk acrobatics
Bring forth new heights our bodies share
Now spent and static
Breathless and dripping wet
As close to hate as love can get
And this amazing last duet
An exclamation
In this goodbye lives no regret
No indignation

When I slice my chest open
Spill my heart and soul
Divulge the same at my own inadequacy
I never said it was your fault
On the contrary, it is my own
When I asked for time to think
To breathe away from responsibility
You asked me how you were supposed to make that happen
When I stopped talking and you didn't even notice
You said I had no right to assume you weren't listening
You yelled that I was against you
That I blow things out of proportion
I tell you again how hard it was to tell you my fears
and  admit my shortcomings
You tell me that I like to be mad
But I'm not mad, I'm hurt
I told you that, when I had stopped talking
You were too busy scrutinizing your foot to notice
That showed me just how important I am
None of it was about you
None was about how you make me feel
You don't get to play the victim in my pain
You don't get to break me and say I threw you away
You gave me away slowly, willingly
You pushed me out
You have no rights left
And you don't get to hurt me anymore

a loving heart knows no distance
and distance cannot quell desire
sparks that flare for every instance
neither time nor space can put out that fire

not for the tepid or the sorry
just seeking comfort wanting fun
because every letter builds a story
that binds two hearts and souls as one