Staring out the window at the lucid storm
fingers lightly tapping the blanket,
I wonder what tonight will bring.

Dreams to inspire love?
Fears to remind me of sorrow?
Messages to guide me in hope?
Something new to try, for experience?

The block on my ideas stabs me
oh God, my life's so boring.

Moving to the floor, my back against the wall,
feet sliding along the wooden floor boards,
pen in my hand getting slippery, losing
my grip and my captive mind running too.

Thoughts begin racing, legs collapse,
pen dances on the floor, imprinting new thoughts
forever and ever, for all to see.

I only hope the future owners
don't get mad at me...

What can I say though,
the inspiration comes and goes
I just have to follow the flow.

The Only reason I hate you now
is because I loved you then.

It doesn't matter if you still
love me, because I can't take
another heart break to such a
degree that you would go to.

I wrote this for you
I wrote it all for you...

You don't know how many hours
I've wasted dreaming of you,
allitterating our times and
pouring my heart out to you.

Its all for you I promise
every bit of it because of you.

All the pain, the tears,
each smile or laugh.
Every single night in your arms,
each bruise from your ****** fist.

Don't you get it
you opened my eyes again.

Thanks for reminding me
who I am and what life is.
I wrote this for you
it's all your fault I'm like this.

The Only reason I hate you now
is because I loved you then.

Cuts and scrapes
Colors and patterns
Stars and stripes
All make me who i am.

Dash of this
Pinch of that.

Look here
Awe there
Never see another
Just like me.

All born of
Flesh and blood,
Ash and stone...

Raised with rules,
Regulations, and schools.
Good and bad
Whats wrong or right.

But we all shine
Different in our
Own light.

I found mine
Among the earth,
Where is yours?

Silence tears at my weak soul
words attack my feeble mind
ice eats my skin away - again

It's so cold here in this white place
especially to those of us with hearts of stone

Longing for inspiration
weeping for freedoms wasted
asking what went wrong - why we're here
none of it helps in the slightest

There has been no sight of sun
in at least three long years

Our loving whispers still linger
the smell of your sugary coffee
clings to me like I did to you
when they dragged me away - again

Nightmares on a rampage - eyes wide open
lucid dreams dead forever - like us

One hopeful flame and security enters
can I have no innocence ever -
have these words truly been forbidden?

As I lie awake staring at the clock
flashing 2:04 am in florescent blue
and a calender gone untouched since
June 10, 2012 yet months have passed.

I remember...

Rain pounding down on the awful roof,
wind slamming into the already cracked window,
even all the blankets around did no good.

Your words- that one phone call replays
in my mind, so do my actions with each
of my sobs, our whispers, your laughs.

The weather now the same
the soft Valentine rabbit clutched tight.

One single answer
haunts me more than anything else
****, I miss you...
God, I hate myself...

I'm probably not going to sleep
cause I'm mesmerized by the
florescent blue flashes of 2:04 am
and all the whispers of June 10, 2012...

I wanted to say yes...

Just in case you were wondering
you won a heart today.
The fact you stand out and
don't even care what people say.

The inspiration I've gained
as well as all the laughs
are dear to us - thank you.

I admire the works you create
with such tasteful words and paints.
Your passion for kindness and
living in your own light has
reminded me who I am.

No way you are normal,
that's good at this point.

Please don't ever change,
people love you
exactly this way.

There is peace here;
serenity in terrific color,
your music dances but clears
my plagued little mind.
There is peace here.

Whispers walk delicately
across silver tight ropes
in the most perfect way.

Love abundantly laughs here
people hug and kiss
none are cast away
because there is peace here.

Angles tell of hope
Children muse of happiness,
Light flickers softly as
rain drops beautifully fall,
purity envelops those who ask.

There is peace here -
with you.

Glimpses out a bland window at nothing but a sour scene
I wonder where exactly it is I am going and why.
Should you know, should you see me pulled over on the edge
please do tell me when I got there and how to free my soul.

Trees race me as I go west into the sunlight,
clouds and sea wave gingerly as we part at the crossroads,
flowers bow their heads south towards the warmer homes,
children dance north along main street asking who they could be;
I guess the world still has some hearts that care.

Then I leave town reminded of past friendly faces
yet relieved of pain inflicting demons of my home.
Perhaps this is an adventure that could be fun... I suppose
or maybe it's a vacation, world only knows I could use some of those.

So I keep going slowly slipping into a dream world
I can't keep my eyes open any longer, though I'm still behind the wheel,
Some people would tell me to get a room and sleep
but I know myself all too well, I can't do that and not not weep,
too many memories from places like this under these stars.

So I guess I'll just pull into the rest stop ahead
hold my mind in my hands and wonder how your life goes.

In a way this is meant to be my letter to you
simply saying hey, how do you do;
now though it's my cry to everyone and anyone at all.

Though I am not crying for your love,
nor am I begging for another new old friend.

In the end, I'm sitting here, just venting
about the pain my brain says I've seen
and explaining this trip
through all the cobweb and all
as I tried to find someone new to be.


With Love,
M.R.K

Don't tell me you love me - I know you don't...

I'm nothing special, these words mean nothing,
all I see is squiggles and dots in frail ebony
dashed across a vividly bland screen.

These works are true,
every single one - real to me,
real to some part of you...
somewhere too far deep to see.

Words do no good, voices linger but do no good
no one can hear them the way I mean.
Letters in a strand linked by only air
they land in delicately beautiful lines of nothingness.

Don't tell me you understand - I promise you don't...

Because at the moment, I'm lost, just lost,
at the second I don't know my own name
let alone the point of this.

Theres a pen in my hand,
I don't know how it got there.
My mouth is moving,
nothing is coming out though.
Somehow my hands can move - can write
but I don't remember how.

Don't tell me I'll be okay - you dont know okay...

I know it's not poetry.
I know it isn't a story.
But maybe it is prose
or maybe it's a song.

Don't tell me it's not real
don't say it isn't right.
I really don't care what you say
this is for me, and you - not you!

I'm lying in a river
drowning in tears.
I'm climbing the mountain
facing all of my fears.

Don't say it,
I know what you're thinking.
I am who I am
and you can't stop me...

from expressing

Truth is lemon juice
on a freshly cut wound,
you don't understand it
until it's happened to you.

People saying "it's okay"
are the ones that start
the war between me and myself
it's tearing me apart!

Truth is bitter-sweet chocolate
straight from Japan,
it's so tempting to a weakened
soul, one without a biggest fan.

Maybe thats only the case
when you feed on lies
so you can fool yourself
then silence your useless cries.

Truth is a tourniquet
that could save us all.
Truth is only ever a friend
that always forgets to call.

Ode to my teacher,
oh what a wonderful,
delightful, energetic
teacher.

So full of love,
and patient when
we need it most
my teacher.

It's a shame you
have to go before
the rest of us do.

This is an ode
to you - our teacher
to thank you
for your help along
our way.

You are like the tree
and us the apples of
your eye. Love us-
teacher.

We hold you with the
importance of the sun
for we are the plants
bowing our heads to you -
teacher.

we have used similes
and metaphors
just for you -
our beautiful teacher.

Thank you -
really.

I'm trapped behind a person I want to be...

I'm trapped like the person I wanted to be
like fireflies in a jar on a stormy night -
like caterpillars longing for flight

There's the person they all see
and then farther down is
the one that's really me

I'm ugly, stupid, and fake
like plastic dolls, robots, and
castles made sourly of cake

There's a mask - only a mask
so why can't I take it off
I feel like an actor alone in the cast

I'm simply not myself
even the mirror will agree
it only sees a doll on a shelf

This really isn't me -
look closer and you'll see

I've watched him beat you
day after day
I've heard you cry yourself to sleep
night after night
I've heard his false words
he doesn't love.

You defend yourself to no avail
alcohol's too much
He's really confused ***,
he is lost.

I've seen it all babe,
it's not over
there's nothing I can do
I am only
plastic wrapped in silk
only for you.

I've seen the blood you let
stain your wrists
I've felt the chill in the air
when he's around
but I've been there too,
it'll be okay.

I'd stop it myself
but I'm merely a doll
propped up on a shelf.

If only you could understand
the power of your dreams -
or the strength you truly have cause
life's sorrows are mere extremes.

Reach for the sky,
chase the wind,
fly away - be free
don't let yourself end.

Here you are a beautiful soul
you can hold all that you
could ever want or need
just don't be so blue.

Dry those tears,
smile a lot,
you'll be O.K.
give life a shot.

For if you don't open your eyes
you'll never know all things must
come to an end, if they
don't you're the dream to Bust.

Pop!
....Pop!
..........POP!

There go another
poor soul's hopes
dreams, and wishes...

Hold on to yourself

-don't end up
............like that...........

I thought it would matter
to you
if I could pen something


~stunning~

the way you always do,
without complications,
problems, or any thoughts
at all.

I wanted my heart
to talk for me
and my soul
to finally roam the way
it should

~free~

Words don't come so easy,
hearts don't have
voices,
souls don't have wings.

I try and I try
to be something I'm not
so maybe you will
like me...

Nights pass and I dont sleep,
days are for learning things
I'll never use
and creating scars
that might never

~heal~

and maybe then
I will know how you
felt the first time
that you

~fell~

All my pens are out
of ink,
my pencils seem to
be missing their
lead tips and
my computer eats

~thoughts~

the way you used to
when you actually knew
who you were.

Time flies,
I don't know
where I am...
What's today,is it
night or is it day

~again~

Am I alone the way it feels
or are there others
out there
sitting in silence
trying to please

~you~

when everyone knows
that they will

~never~

be good enough
for this monster you
became in the darkness
of the world
and the fear your father
instilled in your veins

~blue~

like the tears
streaming down my
cheeks when you
weren't looking.

Does it matter that I'm
writing this in blood
on my bedroom wall
in hopes someday


~someone~

anyone might see
how much you mean
to me?

I write and I write
nothing sounds good
none of this feels right,
so what's the point it's

~not~

like you'll find this
anyway you never
were the one to seek
out your admirers.

~Anyway~

my dear,
the phone is ringing
as if someone actually
has something they want
to say to me

and my mom is
knocking on the door
asking if I'm alright,
the answer is no
though I won't tell her
that, at least not

~tonight~

Kids are laughing
as they toss rocks in the
street and moths
are tapping on the window
longing to get out

I think I should help
them, after all I
know how it feels
to want something so
much and still know
that it is the thing
that will be your very

~end~

I would say I
love you
though it feels
a it like

~hate~

and I know you're
off in ed somewhere
with a girl who will only
last the night

dreaming of all the
things you have and
wondering why you still
aren't happy.

maybe if you met me
if you gave me a chance,
saw me doing everything
for your

~attention~

and learning to write
the way you do
even though each word
kills another cell
I never really had
to begin with.

~Good~

night, my love,
maybe tomorrow will be
better and you will see
a new path to make you

~happy~

in the mean time
I think
I better go now.

I don't like being your
shadow when its already
a dark midnight of horror,
pain, tears, and a lack
of true

~love~

Twinkle, twinkle little star
Last night I wondered where you are
Nothing is the same now
That youve left us nothing to wow.

Scream, scream little star
Dont you know youre my favorite scar
Left me broken down
Made me a joke in this stupid town.

Rage, rage little star
Why cant I be the one so far
Anything to get away
From this hell begging me to stay.

Whisper, whisper little star
Release us from this world of tar
You cant leave us here
Not when you are what we fear.

Live, live little star
What if love is all we are
Tell us everything's alright
We have you till dawn's sweet light.

And if you think that hiding behind
a flask full of anything you can get
for hours and hours
putting gallons of that potent ****
back each and every time you go
then you need to know
that won't help anything at all.

You think
that it's so ******* simple to
numb such a ******* sharp pain
then let me tell you it's not
because the only way to
feel nothing, the only way to truly
numb yourself is to die.

And if you think you can
take your life away and
nobody will ever care you
are wrong.

Anybody can drink their pain away
not everyone can live to share
the stories from the bar
every single ******* night
after work when no one else will
go home with you or say that
anything is going to be OK.

If you think your life is
worse than others, think about
starving Africans. If you still think
your life is worse you are truly more
****** up than I remember and
I want absolutely nothing to do with you.

That stupid flask is nothing more than
a reason to remember and weep
of everyone who wronged you,
when, how, and where.

It make you upset over
everyone you've ever lost
or had to say goodbye to.

It makes you so crazy that
you stand up and scream for
the entire bar to hear;
all the things they never said
that would have made everything OK
again before they took you to bed
and all the things you never
had the courage to say,
but wish you had because
maybe then they would have stayed
and maybe then you'd be ok.

but Love, oh my sweet,
sweet love, please don't go
back to bar tonight...

Just give up,
Stop caring -im a lost cause.
Just forget it,
Love kills - i want to feel strong.
let sadness take me -
And happiness fade so far away.
Let pain feast up
Make it last forever, please.
Listen to me -
I dont need your love.
Watch me closely -
I am okay without you!
There are places Ill never go
Experiences Ill never have
Believe me- im good with that.
I like the way
Sadness tastes.
I am addicted to
This pain.
Just give it up already
Im a lost ******* cause.

Some people cut
Others cry and scream
Most drink, but you
Do something more extreme.

You live above us
Watching this ****** up place
and you see so.much pain
Yet theres a smile on your face.

People get beaten down
I get pushed around
Like other children with
Dark bruises big and round.

Love, oh love, oh my love,
You're killing us all
Dont you see
We break more each fall.

Some people cut
Others cry and scream
most drink but you
Do something more extreme.

You love an laugh
Oh and how you lie
Awful friend seeing us
Hurt, why dont you cry?

Sleep is important, I know this now,
especially when I will be talking to you
at 2 a.m. because no one else is awake
enough to hear the things we say or
the secrets we love to share.

Last night, I was really not myself,
I couldn't have been cause you called me
just to hear me laugh or at least have
proof I was not drowning in tears or
watching blood run down my wrist again.

something about love, just not the way
I thought you cared. then something that
made me melt, I believed because it felt
so real, so true. later mention of my
stupid dream being more than a dream to you.

I don't know if I'm going crazy, or
what I should be thinking about this,
but I just hoped maybe writing it out
would keep me from losing my head.

Sleep is a great thing - believe me
when I say it. Especially when the love
of your life is the most unpredictable
paranoid monster you will ever know.

To be honest I don't remember much
other than the things you would do to
keep my blood inside, and that I'm more
mature than you were at this age, or something
closeish to that. I don't know anything anymore.

Your words took my breath away,
they stole all my words and now
this old computer is eating my words
up exactly the way you did when we
first met. So I'll say I am lost and leave
things there, hoping you will understand.

Baby, I know you can hear me,
I know you left me years ago,
but I cannot accept that you're
really gone so far for so long.

Since I was at your funeral
I saw the body that used to
belong to you all those years
before today. You're deep blue
eyes starred into mine for what
seemed like hours as tears the
color of all my emotions, being
alone to face the royal blue world.

Every night I go down to the
cyan cream river, I sit under
the midnight blue sky and wait
for you to come running down the
hill with your arms wide open so
we could hug one last time under
that faded azure moonlight.

Love, you left me and I don't
think you meant to,

I know because when
I'm at the river bank I can still
feel your arms around me and hear
the words, "you're my friend" and
"it'll be alright, Angel" drifting
through the simple airy space.

I just thought if you can hear me
the way I think you can, you should
know I still love our sapphire
memory book and I love you forever.
smile, where ever you are you are
my Sapphire Angel, without a doubt.

one after the other you sit
and you drink and drink trying
to drown your pathetic sorrows
away. I always found it funny
how you would be fine one moment
and smashed the very next.

It doesn't take a lot to
get you inebriated or lost
in the prison that is your mind
built by your own design and still
you get trapped. My god, how
much more stupid could you be?

They always say that you're
just human and I'm being too
******* you. They just don't
understand what it's like being
a kid watching brother **** himself.

You don't get what it's like
to be a child able to do nothing
when someone important is hurting
themself purposely night after
night just because daddy never gave
him things he asked for and mommy
was never home. I'm sorry, you don't.

At least when I grow up,
I'll be elegantly wasted unlike
you. I will be able to hold my
own and to know exactly when
I have gone far enough. Rather than
too far, the way you always do.

My heart goes out to you,
I hope you'll come back safe
again tonight. Though it does
no good, because any coming night
I know is going to be your last.

Why can't you be like mom,
like your friends? Why can't you
drink until you're numb instead
of dead? Why can't you be a lovely
intoxicated monster, because I can't
take the you that comes back acting
as if you're going to **** yourself.

Hunter, why can't you be like
us? Would it **** you to be
elegantly wasted instead of this?

We all know what its like to have our power go out...

What happens when our spirit goes out
or the fire in your heart? You don't
have a storm to wait for or anyone
to call for help.

A life has ended or a love was lost
and what can you do? Start a storm,
scream, rage, break away, do
anything to quench your pain...b
It's all going to be okay.

Every time it rains you can make it rain...

You, yes, You have the power to make it
unrain. The sun will come out again and
birds will sing, if only you gave reason,
that's up to you.

Life begins again and love is always there
you need to see it. Open your eyes,
smile, laugh, see your friends, do
something to feel a bit better.
It's all going to be okay.

Fires fade but the embers almost always stay.

The stranger has chocolate eyes
......and
...........a crooked smile...

He lost his heart a long
..... time ago
............. To a woman who lost her soul.

I wasn't looking for trouble this time
.... But
........... it found me anyway.

He called me Sweetheart, Baby
..... for a while
.......... Nothing ever lasts too long.

We thought we were butterflies
....forgetting
........... that they fly alone.

He was crazy, I knew it
.... Yet
....... That never seemed to matter.

Then one day things went
...... too far
........... when he overstepped boundaries.

He thought it was fun
... to embarrass
.......... girls like me.

Now I'm glad he's gone
.... Because
........... he stole my wings.

We view the world in blacks,
grays, and whites while you're
the one who noticed color as
you look back.

We only drink the words
that others say to us
and somehow you managed
to become each of them.

How does that work,
how were you so special?
So beautiful, so wise?

We wanted to learn
from you and truly live
and it's a shame you're gone
we merely wish to see
the world through
your bright eyes.

I never thought I could hurt you
being such a strong person,
it didn't occur to me you cared
enough that staying was an option.

Day after day here I stand
watching you stare up at me
from behind your friends laughing
and I hear all the things I
never had the guts to say.

Hold me tight, be my brightest light
come on moonlight tell me things
might be alright. I didn't try to
hurt you, I swear I didn't.

you took my heart away
when you walked to the other
tables, my mouth said just go
I wish you had heard
my heart whispering please stay.

Everyone said that it was ok
they smiled and wanted me to join,
I think it actually hurts them
when I cry. I just never noticed
you bleeding when I cut
and I never thought you could be
my knight in shining armor.

And here I am now, in the library
looking through the shelves
running my hands over the black
sharpie on the bottom of fiction,
"My Midnight Starlight Forever"

such a unique name,
only ever from you to me,
such a painful thought
tears sliding down,
oh what a sight to see.

People watch me
they ask if I'm okay.
Voices haunting making me
wish that I begged you to stay.

I didn't mean to **** us
or the person we became,
but I couldn't stand you leaving
and coming to hurt me, then
leave only to come back again.

Someone had to end the chain,
to be the red stop sign, and I
guess I hurt so bad and fell
too far to try again or again.

I love you as a friend,
I hate you as a soul,
I miss you as a love
and
I am sorry,
I forgot you as a friend...

Butterflies every time I see you
But I really don't know what to do,
My soul giggles a little bit
With you and our frieds do I even fit??

I thought you really couldnt stand me
Now I guess its jealousy I see.
Am I even worth the time,
Arent I just worthless slime?

This is all so crazy in my eyes
I am used to pain, hurt, lies,
And I wonder how I got this
Almost kind of maybe bliss.

Let me just end this here,
I like you a lot my dear...

'Twas once a beauty
In a world so cold -
A light giving way
Through clouds so bold.
I once chose love
Over that fearful life
Drama of friends killed me
So did vengeful strife.
Here I now stand
Oh, so mighty and tall
Kindness can be
But famous not at all.
To all now
My name shall be known
Madison Kuhlmann a star
More precious than gold and stone.

I have given up everything I ever had
to see you happy- just a smile, a single kiss?
I gave you tge best you've ever had
And you passed me up for someone
worse than this...

You only ever broke me, tore me down,
All I ever tried was to build you up
now we're too deep Love will have to drown.
take my sanity, take my heart
Once again I'm going down.

We were such a beautiful perfection
once before, what happened to us dear?
Was I not the missing pieces you needed
or are you simple blind
to the love surrounding you here?

You onlu ever broke me, tore me down
all I have ever tried was to build you up
now we're too deep Love will have to drown
take my sanity, take my heart
Once again I'm going down.

I thought that I could swim
if not I always thought you'd save ne
yet again i was wrong cause
you chise to walk away
to leace Happiness.

What a beautiful letdown
all I ever needed
another beautiful letdown...

You only ever broke me tore me down
all I ever tried was to build you up
now we're too deep Love will have to drown
take my sanity take my heart
Once again I'm going down

Just let me drown
just let me drown
just leave me going down
thanks for another

beautiful letdown...

You...

You are such a good actor,
I never would have guessed
that you of all people didn't
realize you were so blessed.

I didn't see how scared you are,
how weak they made you feel.
Love, I never thought of you
as someone waiting to heal.

I gave you everything I had
taught you all that I know.
Tore my heart apart for you
and you still think I'm gonna go?

You...

You seem so strong and kind
with a soul so magnificent and pure.
Like nothing can touch you
but you're broken for sure.

I am a journal... people write
their secrets in blood on me.
They become my secrets and thoughts,
hoping this will set them free.

They are so much to bare though
every day they eat me away.
Babe, I love you, your worries are safe
but they'll **** me anyway.

You...

You had so much potential
to be so much more than this.
Believe me, you still do too,
just wait Life has some bliss.

One by one the nreaths we take
Define the way we love and
The experiences we make.

Two ny two the pieces fall
Out of the ruins and into place,
No longer have we lost all-
Proof is the smile on your face.

One by one souls find their home
Build them up and thrive inside
No longer hiding in worlds unknown.

Side by side we take our stand
here we are forever free.
Living in a new eternal land
Simply made for you and me.

Too bad its all a dream,
One big living lie,
Like dinner of ice cream.

When you are scared or worried or upset, remember:

There are a million faces
in a million places
waiting for you to show
yourself and what you know.

Come with me
we'll set them free
just like they need
all humans freed.

From the demons past
and sorrow's blast
of powerful tears
that you taste for years

Come with me
leave this be...
we are stronger than this
stop neglecting the kiss.

It's simply life
absent is strife
as we go about the day
knowing we'll be okay.

Nothing to worry about,
no need to shout.
Follow me, you'll see
you too can be happy.

Come with me,
one, two, three,
somewhere I've found
a place safe and sound.

Why would you throw elephants at me?
Especially pink, purple, and orange
Stuffed ones smaller than my tiny hand?

Oh mommy, why do you enjoy throwing elephants at me?
Is it because we be so abbynormal
or because of all your
coffee making you uneasy?

Did you fall off your pet unicorn
When you threw the soft elephants at me mommy?
Was there love in your heart when you did it?
Or was it because i made you laugh
so hard you cried in the middle of starbucks in
front of All those cute dudes?

Arent we friends mommy?
Dont we send ninjas to stalk peoples
Who think we're odd
And then ride dragons
across perfectly blue skies?

Oh mommy why
dos you throw elephants at me

You hold a pencil in your hand
one ready for soft gray lines
before promising me anything;
though it is also more than capable
of engraving our entire life.

There is a sort of passion
in everything you do;
however it does fade away
sometimes slowly, preventing
mistakes too dark to erase.

As you drag that pencil across
the rough, pulpy paper again
I am coming up with the story to
tell on the same page when
others dare to pretend that they

understand.

Someday your work will be in
all the finest museums covering
ceilings in a million mausoleums
and yet that will not be the end.

Because one day they will know
your name the way I do.
I just hope that you remember
I loved you before you were cool;
you are my brightest star
and I would do anything for you.

When you finish this page
let me see it before moving on
I think I can inspire the next one
with lines showing the depth of you
and the contrast in me.

Someday we will be your
most famous work of

artistry.

Everything about you is wonderful
even the flaking skin and
shattering heart falling so
effortlessly apart.

Could I please have a chance
to pick up the pieces before
they hit the ground? Would you
let me put them back together
better than they were when
we found them at first?

Is it wrong for me to
love you, to miss you,
to want you, when you are
all about someone else?

Is there a soulution to
our problem or will I
just keep on dreaming
night after night waiting
for nothing that really
can't really be something?

Is it wrong for me to
love you, to miss you,
to want you, when you are
all about someone else?

It's only a few days
but it feels like years,
decades even.

I know you'll be back
the habits we formed
found their way here
to haunt me again.

They tell me you are
coming home and I
shouldn't worry even
more, but your picture
is fading more and more.

Your voice has left me
alone trying to pull it
out of the rubble that
once was my imagination.

And your sweet, sweet arms
that one day will hold me
close to you if only for
one single moment
before losing you again.

I hope you have fun
while you are away,
just please come back
safe and sound, for me?

She does everything in her power
to make you happy and it never seems
to do her any good. She gave up her
world and everything she's ever known
for you to give her one chance.

Day after day she wakes up
with a smile on her face in hopes
you might see her in some new light
because night after night she pushes
herself to the furthest limits of life
trying to think of new things to do
for your attention. It's killing her.

Strong and brave, brilliant and sweet
she's one of those girls that will do
anything for love, even when they could
do so much better than where they're at.

Willing to die for a moment of
your precious time. Willing to
sacrifice anyone or anyhting
for a single word directed at her,
you need to understand how far
she will go for you.

You would be amazed if only you
knew the extent of her heart,
the pain behind her eyes, or the
way she's always felt about you;
and really that's all she wants
is for a spot in your heart.

She bottles herself up waiting
for the day you'll ask her name
or smile in her direction. She
stays quiet and alone the way you
once did, and you would never know.

I can tell you her story
because she is me, and I know
you are reading this, so I
thought maybe today would be
a good day to understand the extent
of a love that has yet to be born

Night after night when the world seems silent
I dare to escape in a series of notes and rests
in hopes I might be able to find myself
once more among the songs long forgotten;

the ones I dedicated to you.

Its not a real piano, like the one I always wanted
as a young girl, but a rolled out key board
good enough to pretend the way they taught me to
so very long ago. The way you used to do
on those nights the rain came down and sleep could
not over come me no matter what we tried.

Songs gone unheard for so much longer than
any work of art ever should, memories arisen
after hours of being suppressed, I lose myself
in a series of notes and rests long forgotten
as I dare to play the songs I love;

the ones I dedicated to you.

The life of a poet is difficult
ups and downs, dark and light
so many things misunderstood;
but who's to claim wrong or right?

I wish I could tell you
that I lived a life like that
but something makes me think
I am far from ready for that.

Rhymes are no quick and
metaphors and similes dont stick
like glue to paper with thoughts in mind
because rhythm always gets me sick.

The life of a poet is not for me
I cannot write, I don't know
the tricks and skills like you;
poetry just isn't my show.

Love newly admired, freshly shown
something only for those used to
such an acquired taste;
hidden for months on end
slowly aging for the best effect
like that of a fine wine.

Just waiting for it's chance to
Shine.

A moment we've anticipated
enthusiastically, the way
shooting stars long for the rare
solar eclipse allowing them
a moment alone on
the brilliant stage.

The way people depend on a job's
wage.

Waiting as it seams we must
may seem slow and endless
though angels giggle
for they know what's in store
and daemons emanate rage
for even they cannot deny.

Somehow I feel pride that we'll see
the day we want to live as the sun
awaits Day to pass on loving blessings
to the future bride.

As ready as I am for our day
to meet, to be, to thrive,
so  I can call you mine
maybe we should put the bottle
back on the shelf to ensure
a beyond perfect
age.

So many people missed out
on knowing who you were
and that amazing person
you could be; even after
the accident...

I didn't know you at all
until today, walking through
a city I've never been to
with my dad; he's the one
that knew you...

We met your mom sitting at
her kitchen table with your
little brother; he still wears the
peace ring you gave him right
before Time took you...

Mommy told us stories about you
on the phone when she and dad
were still together. The way your
family did when they let us see your
final picture and memory book...

Dad saw the box of letters
from your nieces when you left;
he added a little piece of metal
with a shark. We know you loved
marine biology and Donald Duck,
but we forgot that
until just now...

I know this won't mean much
since you knew my dad in
college and he didn't even know
my mom; let alone want kids;
but I wish I had the time to
meet you...

Everyone seemed to love you,
and for good reason too; I am
just sorry I was never on the list.
Even though I admire all the
things they told me about you...

Anyway, I just thought if anything
you would have a way to read
this, and if you did you should know
Jeff misses you, and we do too...

Before you let sleep take you
tonight, I have to ask one thing
of you;

Please Love, would you
lull me to sleep
tonight, Love.
Lull me somewhere deep
tonight, Love.

Hold me safe and close
tonight, Love.
Tell me we have purpose
tonight, Love.

Lull me to sleep
tonight, Love.
Give me hopes to keep
tonight, Love.

And if you cannot do that,
would you please;

Soothe me of that
which goes unseen,
soothe me of that
we hear each scene.
Soothe me of the pain
drowning me in sorrow,
soothe me of the thoughts
keeping me from tomorrow.

Please my Love,
soothe me of that
which keeps me from sleep
tonight in any way you can.

Because I miss you so
much not even these
tears make me weak enough
to sleep alone tonight in
this unkind bed.

I know its a name
That I gave myself,
But it seemed to fit
Oh so well.

Others don't seem to
Get it, they like to joke;
But they don't know me
So they're just rude.

I call myself adreamer
Because that's exactly
What I do,; I wish and I
Hope, I dream and I dream.

Of the life I want to
Have and the world
I wish we were in,
It makes me happy.

Its probably just
Wishful thinking like
They always say,
Maybe not though.

I love the name and
I like the feel,
I am adreamer and
I wish you were too.

You call me an angel,
pretending that I have silken
wings and a sparkling halo
spinning above my perfect
fiery head highlighting
sea worthy eyes and
pale sandy skin.

Every night you kiss my
forehead and call me
babygirl just before
reading me the lyrics to
my favorite song then
walking away ever so
carefully.

It makes me wonder if
I will ever see you again,
or if this time might just be
the very last to be someones
precious little princess.

Then you see me and
wrap me in your safe arms
once more telling me I am
your dream girl your baby
forever and always.

I like the way that sounds,
even more how it feels;
but later I hear you crying
down upon your knees,
saying how you hate
yourself, you're not good
enough for me.

Have you ever bothered to
ask me how I felt or where
I might stand on that point?
Did you ever care to listen
that you are my superman?

Somebody told me today
that you want to take yourself
away from the world, from your
family, and most of all
from me....

If you found your way
to this set of jumbled words,
I want you to know that I
love you, I don't want to
let you go. Besides, too many
people would miss you
like crazy.

So Love, please don't go,
don't pull yourself from life
I'm here to help you, to end
the painful strife. You call me
an angel, so let me
do my job, alright?

The keys on my laptop are
wearing away, it's not that old.
The screen is ***** with grime
I can't remember at all.
The hard drive is filled completely
with stories and pictures

of only you and me.

Words race across once
empty lines on blank pages
alone in sad books as those
books sit on dusty shelves
waiting to be reminded

of only you and me.

There are thoughts in my head
I never thought I'd think,
things that make me happy,
let me pretend that I am loved
or adored or maybe just wanted,
like in the dreams I had sometimes

of only you and me.

I know you wont see this,
you never really did look
when I asked anyway;
but if for some reason
you've found your way here
I miss the nights

of only you and me.

I miss the way whispers felt
dancing along my neck as
time seemed to stand still
and your arms kept me close
to you as we planed a life

of only you and me.

Really, I think I just wish
things were back to the time

of only you and me.
Of only you and me.

you and me...

I wish you could see the way
passers by stare every day;
Babe, I wish you knew
Just how everyone loves you.

You are beautiful and so fun
Cant you see your souls our sun.
When you laugh you sparkle and glow
You are amazing, dont you know?

Pretty girl wont you please smile
or simply sit and chat a while?
Everyone around here loves you
we all just wish you knew.

Words wander diwn linely paths
through my unexplainable mind
And along barren veins hiding
In the shadows that were once
My heart.

Simple, tired rhymes linger
at a party long over and dead
As cliche lines dance night
After night in the abandoned
Clubfor grumpy eyes and
Inebriated crowds outside
Outaide what was once
My soul.

I am dyimg to write, to
Get it out of my system
So I no longer have to
think if you, thats all
The voices remind me of now.

You should be here agaim,
I think you should write more
but Caligraphy's calling me
Over and over again to
come home and write.

But its not home
without you.

Caligraphy's calling ...
Caligraphy's calling...
Caligraphy's calling us home.