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May 11 · 139
Bee May 11
floating away from the shore i
find myself untethered once more
in the ocean may i fight in peace
against sea monsters and fairy tale beasts

lighthouses leer over froth and fog
****** souls peer up to hear their song
but the instruments are hazy,
off-key- their ears are blazing

sinking deeper, deeper light grows dim
air in their lungs and chances grow slim
there’s a seed in your yard and a cat
at your door- you tether to that
the world begins to seem more whole
Bee May 7
i saved a piece of me for you
i put it away for safe keeping
i hoped one day it would bloom
i fear my heart won’t stop aching

im kneeling in a field and my
hands won’t stop grasping at dead flowers
i strangle them but they won’t revive
how strange it is to lose your power

my body throws itself on a slab
of brittle stone marked: you you you
i pray to be made anew
in your image; I pray I fall through

you’re gray and blue and honestly true
that’s how i know i mean nothing to you
May 2 · 787
Bee May 2
“baby,” she whispers in my ear
her breath rushes down my spine
melts me into candle wax tears
while she burns boldly into the night

“you’re like a bird with clipped wings
perched on a snowy windowsill
forever waiting for your chance to sing
looking out for forever, until-“
May 2 · 226
ocean blues
Bee May 2
the ocean lays
fifteen miles outside my yard
i know the waves crash onto
the shore as each day passes
i know that the sun sets at eight
and the tide follows
depending on the mood
of the fickle moon
but the ocean may not have me
i have a bath at home
it’s just shallow enough that
the ripples i create in my sandbox
only pose threats to rubber duckies
but the ocean lays
fifteen miles outside my yard
Apr 9 · 29
Bee Apr 9
everything bleeds
the sun weeps
hot red tears
down her cheeks
fall onto the earth
we bathe in
pools of dust
and fight to
see the shore
in our might
our blood
belongs to the night
Apr 8 · 57
Bee Apr 8
there’s a comet outside the window
just beyond the blinds
running past stars
and bleeding into the night

there’s a comet above the rocks
of a family holding themselves
to the string of a dream
trailing from her light

there’s a comet on the horizon
where the ocean whispers
a secret message for her
to pass onto her lover

there’s a comet on the ground
she has shone and done her part
without a spark her light grows dim
and she returns to the stars, smothered
Mar 10 · 274
Bee Mar 10
i clung onto a dream
of you loving me
and i held it so tightly
wrapped it up with
a bow in my small arms

and i heaved and heaved
convinced by some string
of unsureness deep inside me
i held the weight as it dragged
my knees to the floor
bowing before you
i made myself tiny
Mar 9 · 49
Bee Mar 9
there’s a kingdom of ice that lay
north of the land of wind
where it stands in solitude
and waits for some
sort of breeze to push
its way in

but until then it will remain
with its hardened queen
who, when she rests her head,
dreams of passion and heat
engulfing her in flames
while her eyes stay blank

its a palace and kingdom
for no one but one
it’s lonely and hidden
and the walls have all but
begun to tower towards the sky
Mar 6 · 288
looking up
Bee Mar 6
the stars are always there
so every once in a while
i look up to see
their fingers reaching down to outline
how the wind passes through the sand
how the waves return to the shore
how its hand looks in mine

fitted against rough nails and soft skin
lay something so gentle that i could
not dare to close my palm
i rest my head in the sand
listen to the waves return
to their lover again
and lay with it there
until morning arrives
Feb 14 · 274
night blossoms
Bee Feb 14
when the night turns
pitch black your flowers
are blooming for
an empty crowd
it feels better that way
and you can’t remember
why you clung to that
noose in the first place
Feb 8 · 71
Bee Feb 8
there’s an ocean in my heart
and it’s drowning out all
i’ve got left to give
it hurts and it whispers
until i grow faint
and sick
and tired of it

i can’t remember what i
put there to begin with
but what i did is
breaking me apart

so i will
put myself back together
and again
Feb 8 · 199
Bee Feb 8
there’s a pond on the south bank
where the water churns and churns and
swirls with drops of anger and pain
there’s a pond inside me that never

really goes away; i shake with its weight
while the bubbles claw at the surface
on simmering days

and i want it out out out of me so badly
that temptation gnaws with an uneasy ferocity
to scald you with all that boils in this heat
lava runs too fast and too easily

it’s exhausting
i’m sure
it’s cruel
i’m sorry
Feb 1 · 248
next one
Bee Feb 1
can i see you in the next one
would you let me into
your arms again
so that i can sit next to you
on the bench right outside
the door where you found me
with one foot out and another
stuck in some wide
place with no bottom
i was so young and brand new

can i see you in the next one
i promise we’ll get it right this time
i’ll get older and you’ll listen
to the songs i write
even when i put every piece
i’ve got into them

i wrap myself around things
and cling for dear life
i didn’t want to find out
what it was like to lose you
but i’m here
and i think i lost me too
Jan 28 · 358
forest floor
Bee Jan 28
there’s trees that stand tall and wave
from some lofty place where
their tips touch the clouds
where they bathe in air and light

and jealousy runs into the ground
twisting and churning under your feet
and the bugs march on
and the bats never sleep
and the monkeys are out for blood
and there’s no sweet song

to blanket your ears from up above
but there’s vines and places to climb
go on, then
hold on tight
Jan 26 · 868
Bee Jan 26
there’s a world that sits
from me apart
but i’m still in your arms
i think so anyway

and there are oceans and tides
that obey their lover’s shine
for when the moon is full
all her heart she gives to you

and the rain comes in waves
and i will bathe in it for days
but theres rays that flood in soft
and warm and gentle

your light pours through
and its beautiful
and i’m full of it
on days full of you
Jan 22 · 58
Bee Jan 22
his toes grip the edge of the cliff
and the gentle air whips through
strands of his hair as it plants
a whisper there
why are you standing here?

the sun blazes on and on
until it tucks itself into bed
and he hates the heat and how
its branded him as her own

but sometimes the sting
bites into his shoulder
and the bitterness of the cold
hurts more than the
bitterness she’s sown

but if he just fell away
what would remain
something he’s never known
he’s too scared to go
Dec 2020 · 52
softball batter
Bee Dec 2020
softball batter at home plate
eyes fall on her tattered cleats
hot knives of pressure in her tummy
her dreams fall to her feet

ball barrels in at 60 an hour
their eyes sincerely plead
projecting spite or broken dreams
onto this screen they bleed

ball just within her sight
she swings with all the weight
that has fallen into her small lap
one second free is infinity

ball just behind left field
and the audience cheers
for the girl stealing home
and running from her fears
Dec 2020 · 63
Bee Dec 2020
she wears emerald in the summertime
and winks at the boys in the park
who stare at her skirt riding up her thigh
she hangs from trees until it grows dark

never minding the voices that float
into her ears from the sidewalk
of the empty kindness of ghosts
hopelessly trying to fill themselves up

when the moon graces the sky and shines
she counts her blessings by its dim light
there’s trees and air and flowers alive
she catches them swelling in her sight

the moon composes a secret melody
the flowers play guitars if you listen closely
her head nods along until it drifts off
and she turns around to give them a hug
Dec 2020 · 203
Bee Dec 2020
it’s been a while since i
last held your breath
close to my heart
and it’s been a while since you

took off to depart
on a ship with no air
you shout out from your own
layer of the atmosphere

maybe there’s birds where
the wind carries burdens
maybe the pressure
rolls off their backs with care

but precious moments
leak from my brain
and i have no way to focus
but to stare at the stains
Dec 2020 · 115
Bee Dec 2020
i’m just a scared little girl
not even sure
how i ended up here

hear me roar
so loud but so insecure
i forgot how
to be in this world

but a dog scratches me
always begging
more, more, more

and i feel like maybe
i don’t belong here
and i feel like always
i’m the worst person
in the room

always trying to do
what i ought to
i’m getting tired
of this charade

i want to be true
weakness has long
hung around my neck
my beautiful boa

but i’m going to find the place
where magic grows
maybe i’ll see you around
Dec 2020 · 448
missing pieces
Bee Dec 2020
do you remember the feeling
the one i keep failing to put into words
like when you and your best friend
faced dragons in your den
and you leapt from chair to table
to escape a fiery death
and do you remember
seeing their face when
only the dim light of your nintendo
illuminated their cheeks
do you remember how i said
i would love you until the end
and i would always come back for you
like some knight in shining armor
or a prince in waiting even though
you didn’t really need saving

but then they ripped me away
from everything i held dear
and nothing i love stayed
the same again
but i still think about you
on cold Washington nights
my friend
Dec 2020 · 206
video games
Bee Dec 2020
come to my room and we can play
video games
video games
video games
lay your head on my lap
it’s okay
it’s okay
it’s okay
i don’t really want to feel alive today
but come to my room and let’s
run away
run away
run away
get me out of this place
there’s more love
in space
in space
in space
Dec 2020 · 205
Bee Dec 2020
i want to feel lost
in the jungle tearing through branches
in the river against currents thrashing
the will to fight still dances

hard and fast in my little soul
yet when a wave comes crashing
and yanks my head under i tend
to let my arms and legs play dead

so please come to my bed tonight
and remind me of sunshine
with those starry eyes
so i may not forget how

the world is sharp and thorny
and twists and turns will fool me
but these scars are only monuments
to the battles of the one i want to be

then let me lay my head on your chest
so that i may rest
because battles: failed, unnecessary, unwon
constantly boil in my blood
Nov 2020 · 399
Bee Nov 2020
mom looks out through the trees
and speaks of birds swooping in
as the past visiting us from the dead
her serenity never ends

tomatoes push through the dirt
in our garden of eden
they’re trying to hug the sun
but never quite reach it

the yard grows myths
that she gladly devours
in the absence of wonder
we sow our own in summer
Nov 2020 · 87
Bee Nov 2020
the brush quivered with the
gentle anticipation growing,
never slowing in her hungry

she clawed through
thistle and thorn to get a peak
of that pale blue reflection
coercing her towards the shore

the fairies sang of the divinity and
omnipotence stored in the ripples
and if you squint hard enough,
they giggled, there’s surely more

she cast her gaze down to god
and saw thorns trapped in
strands of hair and vines
twisting around with scorn
Nov 2020 · 438
Bee Nov 2020
spring permeates the air
and a warm fog you forgot
lays you in its arms bare
and there you remember lost

glimpses of birds soaring
and skinned knees from falling
you swore the sky wasn’t ready
and nothing was too heavy

whispers of trees beckoned
and branches were just steps
for you and your friends to heaven
and you wished this world was kept

in the palm of your tiny hand
instead of slipping through your fingers like sand
Nov 2020 · 56
Bee Nov 2020
try to feel something
for me tonight
i forgot how you
glittered in the sky
the brightest light
for a moment
broke through your eyes

i’ll talk to you about trees
and how you want to live in greece
i would probably do most anything
for you to feel something
and boy, if you do
would you please
spare some for me too
Nov 2020 · 121
night rider
Bee Nov 2020
i will take what i can get
it gets so cold out here
you haven’t known emptiness
until its swallowed you whole

and i will take an hour or two
of the hearth’s dull flame
it doesn’t really matter to you
how this heart aches

but i need some air to ignite
what i hope is still there
i’m sure im not even in your sight
i always want more than you can bear

i’m beginning to feel like your toy
so i think i’ll ride alone from here, cowboy
Nov 2020 · 277
night portal
Bee Nov 2020
the air tastes like grapes and blueberries
and the palm trees dance to a melody
from a land that sings of peace
but selfishly hides the remedy

sometimes a hint of blue bursts through
and takes you into its arms
pulling you into its portal, you flew
against time to return to the stars

and suddenly you’re seven again
and life as you know it has no end
and the world is nothing but a page
from your coloring book, waiting

to be filled with lilac and fern
waiting upon your gentle return
Nov 2020 · 253
Bee Nov 2020
flew off to see
what the galaxy had for me
sailed away on this black sea
losing more and more gravity

i felt it in my stomach
when blue faded to black
the aliens assured me i’d love it
cold press of knife in my back

there’s madness here
playing in the emptiness
and i’ve got nothing to hear
but its sweet consonance

spent my life on a moonbeam
but it’s getting lonely
i want to believe in beauty
below the stars
Nov 2020 · 324
Bee Nov 2020
bring me down to earth
these things never work
but the words that slip
like honey that drips
from your sweet tongue
rendered me dumb
i forget how numb

it had felt before
you pet my head
because you knew
how bad it could get

i felt your heartbeat only
a few times
fear has left me
deaf and willfully blind
and now i’m on the other side
wishing that like yours
i’d been sure to open
Nov 2020 · 171
Bee Nov 2020
stormy skies always make me happiest
there’s some comfort in the gray
like how it blankets down on you
with a whisper
never showy

and they always say
good days should be sunny
but they never learned
how to appreciate
what they were given

Nov 2020 · 53
Bee Nov 2020
my baby
i carry her with me
i nurse her even when
i can’t breathe

my baby
i take with me
******* drops
of sweetness
from the air

my baby
always hungry
always feasting
forever leaching

reaching for somewhere
far away from here
down that maze
i stray
falling away
for her to stay
Oct 2020 · 516
shadow people
Bee Oct 2020
we dance like
everyone is watching
never knowing when
this performance ends

we circle around
the feelings we hide
chasing other shadows
left with nothing inside

we snarl and growl
our shadows tall
dancing across halls
of empty homes

menacing monsters
we hide underneath

but in the shade lays a girl
no more than sixteen
go to her and sing
return to me, please
Sep 2020 · 616
Bee Sep 2020
keep pouring into me
your fears
the shadows that haunt you
your pain
the bags that break your back
pour into me
i am just a vessel
for you to shed your skin
as to pretend to be anew again

but be wary that i’ve sat
with this heaviness for so long
that gunpowder rests in me
i am your gun, ready to load
and if you cut me too close
im bound to explode
Sep 2020 · 321
Bee Sep 2020
you remind me of what it felt
to still be free
of fires that crackled
and roared with the breeze

your eyes
like the bright blue
of the lake where i
spent my summer days

and the fresh breath of air
i craved after shutting
myself away
like wounded prey

i’m ready to leave
i plead
will you please have me?
Sep 2020 · 136
lay me open
Bee Sep 2020
winter came with the snow
and i watched it go
in waves of trees beaten
naked; exposed like the holes
of the moles burrowing
in search of salvation
Aug 2020 · 353
where do dreams go?
Bee Aug 2020
shattered soul splashed across
wet pavement
dreams caught in between
empty spaces
left alone to
dry, crack, fold
into nowhere places

look at the etchings
carved in the ground
ghostly reminders
of things never found
Aug 2020 · 192
Bee Aug 2020
sneak in for a minute
i cracked the door
i hoped you might
come explore

i’ll show you my coin collection
and my stuffed toys
boy, i might even
let myself enjoy

the pale of the moon
against your vibrant eyes
while you stare to the stars
i see you now; so sublime
illuminating your blush
just like us, you whisper
lost dots in time
Aug 2020 · 109
Bee Aug 2020
gears and gadgets and ghosts
take up the table
swim around in her mind
fill up the spaces

where she couldn’t
fix them
help them
avenge them
save them

she grasps at her tools
makes others whole
takes dust from the rubble
and loves it back together

she fixes and tries
to fight the ghosts
of her parents laying dead
the one thing she wanted most
the only thing she couldn’t mend
Aug 2020 · 772
Bee Aug 2020
he looked at her with those eyes
drooping under the weight of
the pain of the past
and the fear of the future

she knew that look
he battled his rock
never learned to push it

she took his hand
dropped soft kisses on his knuckles
so he may remember softness
when he’s punching walls

“sometimes,” she whispered
“you run so fast you forget
to see the paths
that could’ve been”

“you are what you’ve allowed yourself
to be, lovely
so look down my path
and you may finally find what you seek”
Aug 2020 · 40
Bee Aug 2020
she lifted her head up
sunlight hitting her crinkled wings
leaving streaks of bliss
over their tear-streaked covering

next; her wings
ever so slowly unfurled
weighed down by atrophy
she gasped, watching
as the lost become the undead

and when they spread she saw
how gorgeous they had been all along
Aug 2020 · 53
dead or alive
Bee Aug 2020
often she fails to reside within the land of the living
but instead, among the realm of the dead
they speak to her in silence, swirling, singing
haunting the hollows of her head

phantoms of long forgotten memories obscure the path
between the sliver of the liver and the left
they mark purple knuckles and unheard cries
caught in the tear-stained glass

so she stares through sodden eyes,
a phantom in her own right,
at an image of a life that passes her by
trapped behind the glass of her own demise
Jul 2020 · 88
Bee Jul 2020
and if you could let me in
for just one night
so i could find a way to stop
these butterflies

small slips of
lips locked on mine
under sweet moonlight
play themselves out
under half-lidded eyes

but it’s just a daydream
yea, it’s just a dream
of you and me
only what we could be

i wish i knew better
i wish i knew better
to tell you the truth
i wish i knew better

to know this ache
of loneliness
if it aches for you
or if i’m just overdue,

sweet eyes blue
that i might never know
can you kiss me once?
just to be sure

i wish i knew better
i wish i knew better
to tell you the truth
i wish i knew better
than to hope for you
Jul 2020 · 340
Bee Jul 2020
when i was young
i tried to rewrite history
because i could not stand
to bear it all on shaky knees

i burned the old pages
drew a big x
through any future
i could foresee

the embers, they fell
snowflakes gracing
torched ground
and i ached to flee

to a place
that could hurt me not
i desperately rewrote the history
but in safety, i became the enemy
Jul 2020 · 205
pacific coast highway
Bee Jul 2020
you and i
driving down the highway
i swear we could fly
with you behind the wheel

the pictures littered the car
like anxious petals fallen too soon
desperate pleads for a love
i could not express to you

steady hands on the wheel
you whisked me away
to a little burger place on the interstate
where for a moment we escaped

the rush of it all
the pain of it all
when i felt safe
to fall into you

eyes glued to the dot
amongst trees and cars
yearning to keep this spot
that, only briefly, we called ours
Jul 2020 · 674
to be loved
Bee Jul 2020
to be loved for just a moment
in another place
one made outside myself
to forget the lingering
hatred etched in my soul
to just for a moment
let the cobwebs go
i think that might be enough
Jul 2020 · 67
beyond the bubbling basin
Bee Jul 2020
lamplight pierced the horizon
beaming on the freshly paved road
like a glaring reminder of the beauty
that surrounded my blind spots

and it took me into its arms
whispered, “you can’t see me now,
but remember my name,
and one day you might find
ive been here for you
all along.”
and then,
no!” it stammered in
its imperfect way
“i will be here.
on the dawn of your darkest day
then, like a seer
you’ll finally know to let me stay”
Jul 2020 · 216
ashes to ashes
Bee Jul 2020
when the rose petals fall
like the season of forgotten leaves
will you still remember me?
i wish i could have stopped the bleed
Jul 2020 · 169
purple sky
Bee Jul 2020
joni wasn't sure what compelled him
to run on this particular night
maybe it was the fragmented sky
caught between the airiness of dusk
and the heavy stormclouds weighing it down
all he knew was that
it felt like the closest he'd been to real life in a while
and it had been a while

maybe it was that he'd always known
the heavy clouds so intimately
but deep down what rang true
was that he would never really know at all

nothing; except the gentle patter of his feet against the pavement
and the brave truth that
they may continue to carry him
even when the sky finally threatened to collapse
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