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AD Letwixt Aug 2019
Simply to exist
Watch branches
Fall and decay

I see myself
Dying branch
Reflected there

Lacking want and
Lacking Fear
Exist, and cease
AD Letwixt May 2019
Fingers running, your lips deftly persue
And stray farther from my aching chest
They press, so kindly
Those whispered words.

You speak so softly, dear
But in each touch of your lips
My body feels like running water
And the waves break rhythmically
On the surface of my skin.
AD Letwixt May 2019
Some bridges are made of glass.
how stupid I was
to place trust in something so fragile....

I know you did nothing wrong,
But it still hurts.
AD Letwixt Jan 2021
the trickling stream
in cool bliss, I close my eyes
my mind is floating
AD Letwixt Feb 2019
Having trouble
Sometimes being is hard because....
But you can't stop being
And I don't know what's going on.
AD Letwixt Oct 2019
Human
What an interesting concept
An animal
Calls itself human
And feels higher

Imposes laws
Imposes duties
Imposes power

Yet it is an animal
What a wonderful lie
AD Letwixt Sep 2019
Im not

human

I'm not

human

Hollow and plastic
Can you hear my heart ticking?
Tick tick in my hollow
Empty

I'm not

human

I'm not

human
AD Letwixt Jul 2019
That temptuous lure
All my idols
Eyes dancing in firelight
Speak wonderingly in my ear
Let me become drunk on you
AD Letwixt Jun 2019
You remind me
Of summer rain
And afternoons spent in that hazy
Green and
gray

Someone stop me
Because something’s begun
That etherial warmth
Wind between the trees
And raining  in the sunlight

I’m afriaid that this will end
Before it’s really begun

And I try to

Distance
From


But
everytime I think

The rain trickles down

And I can’t stop
k
AD Letwixt Jul 2020
k
I wonder sometimes
how it all could've mattered so much. . . .

but then I think of the feeling-

-I remember what it was like
with my head on your chest,
tracing fingers round and round,
goosebumps on my skin. . . .

I can't even bring myself to say your name,
but

I wish I could feel you again.
AD Letwixt Apr 2019
Let the words fall from your lips
Like drips from the rooftop
rhythmic, but without melody

Oh the cold drops on  my neck

But I am a rising tide
To wash us away
Like little the little shells
AD Letwixt Jul 2019
Laying in the dark
What odd shapes we  make
And how cruel, that
when one is feeling
Something so sweet
There is also loss
Of what isn't
Of what used to be
AD Letwixt Oct 2019
Watch a leaf fall all the way from the top of a tree to the bottom
Listen closely as the wind moves it along the ground
Don't speak
AD Letwixt Oct 2019
Find something you like
It should be a place, an experience
First be attentive to it in all its detail
Concentrate with all your will on every aspect of it's being
And then
Release
And fall into it
Allowing it to envelope you
Sink down
Down
Like a stone
Be heavy
And be
AD Letwixt Jun 2019
Infatuation is exhilerating
And often deceiving
But i wont stop thinking about your smile
Although we

Never again

Will meet
AD Letwixt Jan 2021
I will never be normal enough for you,
so **** your normal
AD Letwixt May 2019
Lay down softly
Close your eyes
And float out into the strange meaninglessness
The odd nothing-space
Inhabited only by what is shriveled and gray

Know that you have created this space
Know that your mind is the author of your dreamy landscapes,
And the origin of your nothingness

But do  not be afraid of the sallow and dark
Because darkness only exists in relation to light.
AD Letwixt Aug 2019
memory is not
and how can it be
-like this corpse-
what i call
me

i am not here
i am not here
i am not here
AD Letwixt Oct 2020
It's all going to be okay
It's all going to be okay
It's all going to be okay

that's what I keep telling myself

even though I know
no one's here to stop my tears
from trickling down
and drip drip dropping from my chin

It's all going to be okay
It's all going to be okay
It's all going to be okay
AD Letwixt Aug 2019
if it could be seen
what sky has seen,
could hear what words
spoke the trees

then aged would be
minds and
its wisdom bring...

we might smile wryly
as fate approaches
AD Letwixt Jan 2020
Close your eyes and conjure a calm breeze within your mind
Feel it's soft warmth on your cheek, and fingers softly sifting through your hair
And now the grass between your toes on the cool damp ground

Know that you are nowhere
Out of sight
Out of grasp

There is always pain
And
   every
    single
     person
on this brown Earth has known it

But when I find the nowhere in my mind, I know

That all must pass with time
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
Laying in the lawn
On a boring day
Looking up at the plain blue
"How unimaginative"

I throw the little knife into the air
To see where it lands
AD Letwixt Nov 2020
Why do I always wear blue
Rain jackets
On sunny summer days
And pretend . . .

The stormy weather is only in my mind
AD Letwixt May 2019
Intertwined lovers
how the fingers can wander
and what small beautiful things they find
and revel
AD Letwixt May 2019
Revel in the times of  uncertainty and strife, for they are also filled with a youthful wonder- that lawless search in the pouring rain.

And know, because the search must end,
That comfort is a tight restraint
And security is a shackle.

You might wake up in easy times to find that the lawless aspect of you has suffocated, and that whatever security the restraints gave you is replaced a desperate will to be free.

In your desperation to break the bonds, you will also destroy the ease that binds you.
Run
AD Letwixt Sep 2019
Run
Restlesness,
Sink your fangs into me
My flesh will not protest

Your venom, my impetus
That glorious burning sting
Fill my veins and be my guide

Running to or running from
You make no distinction

Venom, in my veins coercing
And burning at the open wound
That ******* desire

That unceasing need to run
see
AD Letwixt Sep 2019
see
You cannot see from the outside, how many times I've tried to commit suicide. You'd be surprised at how well I can mask my feelings, how easy it is not to cry. You can't see the scar down my forearm through my jacket, nor the note I keep on my desk.

I am not unique.

And that is why I always smile and say nice things to other people. Because of the things I can't see.
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
damp grass from the hillside
is cold on my feet as I walk
hands in my pockets and head looking down
legs leading slowly downhill
towards the sea.

There's something about going for a walk
that makes it easier to think
even if you completely ignore your surroundings
or don't go very far.

The sand surprises me
the soft white powder that shifts between my toes
and my feet slip a little with every step.

For the first time in a while, I look up
the sea is darker than usual, it's turbulent as well,
but I stop for a moment on the edge of the water.

Imagine If I fell in
I'd probably turn into driftwood and then just float off
until the water pushed me up onto some deserted beach
and then pulled me back in
and then pushed me up again
eternally caught in the space between sea and shore

the space between here and there
between is and isn't
between impulse and inactivity

I'm already there.
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
All the things we neglect to say or feel
are stored up somewhere
swirling and undulating in the deep

Eventually, they all rise up--
in a single violent urge
it exits our cowering bodies all at once

and there's nothing one can do but shake
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
I can feel sleep tugging on me slightly

Like the pleasant little ripples that lay on top of deeper water

Small remnants of something larger and more powerful

All of a sudden
a great warm wave grasps my body

Transforming into a little leaf or a tiny shell
I am carried weightless into the great warm abyss

Once there, I will float limply for a time

Simply waiting for the new sun to reach my face
AD Letwixt Jun 2019
Will you
Slip
With me?

Laughing and rolling as we fall

And then
slip
Into me,

Please hold me, I don't want to
Feel the cold.
AD Letwixt Jul 2020
Take my hand

And we'll create a world within each other

Someplace to hide

To escape the memories that haunt us

Someplace the past cannot find.
AD Letwixt Oct 2019
This is the moment when I feel most like myself.
A small watcher in a moving place
I Sit and feel
think
And observe
And read, too

Sorry for the melancholy, but
I wish I could be lost here
Stranded in this place

I want to be swallowed up by this world
Just like this

I could do it I think

But first I have to get lost
AD Letwixt Sep 2018
Sometimes when it rains on a summer night
I lay out breathing, thinking lightly
It seems as though I’m wandering between the winding willows
Traipsing the seldom trodden paths of my mind

The tree trunk moves down into the ground, and I think I could follow it

I sink. . .
If never I had felt icy surf and the waves like hands
Grasping my clothes and tugging
Each raindrop might be like a flood
So large, it would sweep everything away and me with it

But here I sit unmoved- a stone
I am cursed to weather slowly and become smooth
Soon I will be small, and everything large
Then the rain will carry me away.
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
Sands and seashells as white as moonlit night
And water tugging slightly at the small boats
Trembling in the wake

“Far across the silvery sea”
Those little waves whisper to me
“From ocean dark and brooding blue, cross horizons bleeding red
is a land where the mists travel languidly through
and dangerous things betwixt the paths you tread.”

“There is a city that some say glows in the night
Whose towers ***** to glorious height
Domes and great structures stand below
Upon white stones, blue moonlight does glow.”

“If you swim out during the brooding storm
And torrential city make, with towers of black swirling wake
The sea will take and change your form
You will enter the depth and the depth will enter you
And sea imbued, you emerge anew.”

“On the second day, and the crest of red rising light
When Phoenix fly against the night
You will be ****** from water by the fiery wing
And to a new land take you as Phoenix songs it softly sings.”

“There you will encounter the dangers and things of strange delight
And the white walls of Elyse, whose light is cast upon the height.”
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
the river Eyn, between outstretched hands
flows to lands farther than
ear has heard or eyes have searched
and they say the land twists and shifts
at her end
'til one is sailing up again

She flows like drowsy eyes in midafternoon daze
languidly stretching back and forth before the haze
the foggy mists that sit atop her skin smooth surface
shade from daylight
her sailors sleeping to sail the moonlight

I stood atop my little ship
to see the faces of passers-by
who watch the ships from shoreside

On each face I looked so long
but always obscured was the evening sun
what tree or branch, or mist or shade
I cannot see what faces made

Dreary drowsy eyes begin to close
she will close them, Eyn
so I might sail the moonlight
midnight's rays of clear and blue
and bathe pensive in cerulean hue.
AD Letwixt Jan 2019
the images
flicker in and out of focus;
memory leaves dull and pale
what was, once.
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
I follow the winding, the way beyond the farthest places
between trees knotted menacing with darkened faces
under mossy roots that twist and trip with a mischievous cackle
over heights and falls that beckon death's clanking shackle
and if you fall in, lose your precious breath
to tree limbs tangled scratching at vulnerable flesh.

A green roof above and green floor below
but my eyes look ahead, to where the silver meadows did grow
Remorse remembers all that passed before the eye
burnt of fire forgotten and ash was strewn across the sky
and now only memory does remain
of silver meadows and the golden rain.

This land is dampened with the morning dew
that daren't melt but for the light of moon
where mossy things are stowed in sunken places
and beautiful wonders lay behind rock faces,
I know the way, but do not lightly follow
As sunset brings forth demons beyond tomorrow.

I wish to find her: the lady silk
Her hands weaving threads of fates who twist and separate
her threads she brought from those older places past
Where nascent fauns with youthful voices fastly gleam and chatter
and deftly danced to delights in the silver meadows
When all was false and truth was shaded
all liars happily in reflections reflected
pale faces feinted in humorous deception
and all charismatic affectations were familiar expression.
singing songs of passing pleasures in strange dialect
All was serene was silver mirrors reflecting
save the flow of golden liquid cool and still
which seeped from sky to hill and then chalice filled.

I walk to see the lady
who has one eye black and one eye white
and carries a silver knife which- in moonlight flashes bright.
I will wearily watch for it's flashing tomorrow night,
for she doesn't know it, but I was also born of moon's pale light.
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
Part 1: (The traveler speaking)

"I follow the winding, the way beyond the farthest places
between trees knotted menacing with darkened faces
under mossy roots that twist and trip with a mischievous cackle
over heights and falls that beckon death's clanking shackle
and if you fall in, lose your precious breath
to tree limbs tangled scratching at vulnerable flesh.

A green roof above and green floor below
but my eyes look ahead, to where the silver meadows did grow
Remorse remembers all that passed before the eye
burnt of fire forgotten and ash was strewn across the sky
and now only memory does remain
of silver meadows and the golden rain.

This land is dampened with the morning dew
that daren't melt but for the light of moon
where mossy things are stowed in sunken places
and beautiful wonders lay behind rock faces,
I know the way, but do not lightly follow
As sunset brings forth demons beyond tomorrow.

I wish to find her: the lady silk
Her hands weaving threads of fates who twist and separate
her threads she brought from those older places past
Where nascent fauns with youthful voices fastly gleam and chatter
and deftly danced to delights in the silver meadows
When all was false and truth was shaded
all liars happily in reflections reflected
pale faces feinted in humorous deception
and all charismatic affectations were familiar expression.
singing songs of passing pleasures in strange dialect
All was serene was silver mirrors reflecting
save the flow of golden liquid cool and still
which seeped from sky to hill and then chalice filled.

I walk to see the lady
who has one eye black and one eye white
and carries a silver knife which- in moonlight flashes bright.
I will wearily watch for it's flashing tomorrow night,
for she doesn't know it, but I was also born of moon's pale light."

Part 2: (The lady singing)

"The meadow shifted softly that fateful night
in breezes blowing warmly and songs of ephemeral delight
melodies swell and shift like the swirling blades of grass
Grass not green but silver shining, all moonlight reflecting

Gods with silver hair and silver eyes danced in shifty iridescence
Voices sang clear and wandered wistfully through misty hills and hollowed places
Oh they delicately weave the lines of notes around my ear
under over between and in, I wish I could hear those notes again
but alas their time is passed-- the daytime took the nightly hymn

There are few who remember things as I have done, but waning pasts are of worth to none.
Oh the night was never meant to end
and it is left the earth but for what I have kept for mine, things broken never truly mend.
These silver threads for weaving time and fate together again
a mournful burden, but I cannot abandon them
for the tapestry of time is my from the gods of ancient past
As long as my fingers can touch the strings, my mind will see
what I have preserved in memory

the tapestry, though, will live before I die
All fates will cease to meet as edges cut
and gods will from sky return
to chase away sun in blue and silver flashing eye

And so I hurry to finish this task over which I mourn
so in silver laurel, I will be adorned."
I plan to add either one or two more parts later on
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
Melodious moonlight thy clear liquid spreads
painting all in lavender hue
and moistening lips wait for the kiss of your words, muse
You sing through her parted lips your cryptic hymns and poetry,
words wound together in strange nightly meter
that twist together and shift like tree limbs tangled
and petals cast down the stream

To bathe in the rippling water
and wait for clarity to wash away the rough edges of the mind
let the stones become smooth
and mind like bowstrings, taughtened.

But the crowds protest in collective indignation
all members chained together by common trepidation
lest altars crack under the weight of strange words
and the diety's light grows dim
they sharpen what was dull and loose arrows in laughing mirth
into bodies' crooked minds uninhibited and feet unshackled

The ones in the crowd yell with groans and laughter
but they groan also with the pain of what is constant death and birth... they are resigned to their tradition's lies
and perish ten thousand times.
Nascent generations yell out in incredulity until voices become hoarse and skin turns gray, resign themselves to murmur their insolence in dreams as they whither slowly away.

But the one who, in nighttime, sings
and bestowed by muse's mind, from human lips part
words and strange poems spoken blaspheme
will live but once and one day rest
by the shifting branches and on grass by trickling stream
and not by chain's clanking arrest.
AD Letwixt Jan 2021
alabaster flesh
crumbles at your touch
and streams of pure feeling
flow through the cracks

blow breath into my lungs, and
invade me with your warmth
let your blood run through my veins
my heart pounding at your touch

I am yours to use, please
put me to your ends
my body is yours to shape,
take my flesh your hands

be my sculptor, love
make me what I am
AD Letwixt Jun 2019
The sky is bleeding

                                      It knows

And there is no consolation for

                         Our feeble minds

And the black earth turns red

                          Eroded and pale

What a strange place this is

                          How small we must feel
AD Letwixt Sep 2018
Something stirs as numbing ache
Clawing she falls na’er to wake
A vengeful hiss, it slithers out
Signifies the calf’s mistake

Fangs from which the poison drips
eyes black and cut like arrow’s tip
Regards the cow it’s hollowed place
Sees mind through mind’s eye
And from mind discerns its lie

For all things are cows with both within
Often poisons slowly seep, or teeth will quickly sink
With mistake the calf will die, what some call sin
the snake calls mistake, with venomous grin

What are we to say to this?
Half serpent half calf- am I to choose?
Snakes will leer the vengeful wrath
And calf to mother, looks for the stamping feet

What may be, it is then
If serpent strike first
Then venom is righteous and just
And if cow succeed
Then hoof has stamped in moral deed

7-9-18
AD Letwixt Oct 2018
Enter forest green and black
wherein treetops shade pathways leading back
the wind malevolent grins with mirthful eyes
a playful ill-will as cats before their mice.

It is not the fear of bitter cold
nor of darkness stories old
it is something moving in these aged trees
that brings shivers down to-- What trav'lers these?

Who walk with downcast eyes below the hidden sky
and bowing step forth unto demise.

When moon does show it's drowsy eye
and once red is blue as the night
what lurks between boughs of green and gold
has blackened heart from lies once told
saunters 'fore the wooden place
where young men end their race.

What trav'lers these who call before the fight
They- with no weapon- shout with might
To live and die in mighty storm
and one day take on heaven's form

The feared one raises head and claws
perching soundless to cause their painful fall
"Let me hear your ending call, that god or devil
may not forsake you all."

"We have no gods nor demons, no angels nor devils for us to call
for we are men of faithless earthly hall
who come to bear the earthly yoke
of life short lived and death's unrighteous stroke;"

"we walk to death and nothing after
as is custom of those with little faith
hear our cry oh merciful wraith
that we might pass under your yellow eye
as those who live and ask nought but time from life
that we may eat and drink our fill of what might be had
and drunken die before mad-ness take
and for other lives and worlds we save our fate
and we praise heavens and gods contrived in faithful tirade!"

Scrutinizing these travelers with delicate stare
the wraith had never seen such men that would enter the forest lair
With a laugh he let them pass
gods be with them and send them fast.

This last humor bore them along
to lands and drinks where their song is still sung
and the lives they lived were none too long.
Amor Fati
AD Letwixt Feb 2020
seems like it's today again.

i'm worried about what comes tomorrow
but today isn't even through.

we're all caught up in the "now will be tomorrow's yesterday,"
asking "when?" over and over again, you know?

it feels odd that it's never really been "tomorrow" or "yesterday,"
because no moment has ever not been "now"

but my mind's chasing its tail again. . . .

it's better to just get on with my "now,"
'cause thinking's the problem, really,
it's always been.
AD Letwixt Jan 2021
I wish I could fall, love,
Into your embrace

And feel you envelop me


But I have been captured
By time and these walls

I have built to protect me


Don't wait for me, my love,
The rain is falling

Don't let your time wash away
AD Letwixt Apr 2019
Now that we are drunk
on the wine of gods,
can we put the bottle down?
AD Letwixt Aug 2020
cracked and ashen dying tree
cold and broken, our anguished keen
roots unsevered lead the way
to time’s ending, and daylight stay
four undoing must be five
what has withered, can be revived
this actually belongs in a fantasy book I'm writing and it doesn't make all that much sense without context so. . . . .sry.
AD Letwixt Sep 2019
You are my Eden, love
And I will eat the fruit of your tree

Let me curl into your embrace
Love,
Encircle me
AD Letwixt Sep 2019
I've disappeared into myself
And reality seems
.
.
.
.
.
.
distant
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