The face I once ran to
Is now the one I hide from
The eyes I once gazed at
Are the ones I can't bare to see
The voice I once yearned to hear
Is now the voice that pierces through my heart
The one who once said I love you
Is the one who now says I hate you
The person I knew better than myself
Is now the stranger who walks past me

Sometimes I just feel like a doll
By sometimes I guess I mean all the time
Hollow porcelain my pretty perfect hair
My cute face
When you see me you will fall in love
And I will be as sweet and kind as I can be
Then it will blow your mind
And you will be lost in me
At least... Until you find another pretty doll
Because Thats all I know
My beauty
And my recorded phrases
I'm boring
I'm nothing inside
I'm hallow
Who am I
I'm just a doll
With a broken heart

Stories have resolutions
Sometimes I just want to live in stories
stories can be controlled
sometimes i dont want to be me
i want things to be different
I cant explain the feeling of being lost in a fictional life
For a moment I almost feel hope
maybe even...
But quickly hope fleets away
because I am reminded that my life is not fictional
im not ready
there is no resolution
in stories others somehow find a bloom among the screaming emptiness
but I cant find it
The more I search, the angrier I get
I am scared to know what comes after anger
sometimes i never want to read another story again
because the pain of coming back to reality is impossible
but i cant help but crave that momentary relief
I dont know how this ends
I have no resolution
im not ready
I wish

...

I really like to read poems all the time
but its sad to say how few actually rhyme
a lot of your poems i tend to find boring
when they honestly should leave me adoring

So if your up for the challenge
and want to show me your talent
then spit out a good rhyme
way beyond its time

So make me feel like im singing a song
with ever last word i stumble upon
so go now no time to waste
spit out those rhymes in great haste

P.S. please avoid copy and paste

We all hurt
we have all tasted the dirt
We have all felt pain
No matter how little its all the same
Its not a competition
Its no ones ambition
Don't be upset because I have a sadder story
I don't do it for the glory
Did I forget to mention
its not about the attention
We need others to care
Not to compare
people need to feel
Before anyone will heal
Your pain is just the same as mine
You will understand in time
the darkeness will clear
until then I will always be here
To hold your hand in the dark
To show you how to find your spark
believe in your heart
Then begin a new start

The world wants to pull us apart
They want to rip the love from our hearts
They want to here our cries
Just as we begin to thrive

The world says we are too far
Because we don't have a car
But my love reaches across borders
It doesn't diminish with orders

You hold my thoughts
And I hold yours
To hard we have fought
just to close the doors

I love you 30 miles away
The same as 30 centimeters.

*** hurts when you are not turned on
*** hurts when you are not in love
*** hurts when you are waiting for it to be over
*** hurts when it is easier to say yes than it is to say no
*** hurts when it is just to make him happy
But that is the price of being a woman

Does it make you feel good?
To make people love you
To make them fall in love
To make them think your perfect

Does it make you feel good?
When you tell them
Everything they want to here
All the things you wished you could say

Does it make you feel good?
When you fade away
When you loose touch
And collect more

Beauty is the only card you know
How to play
Perfection is there only thing you know
How to immitate
Love is the only thing you know
How to play with

Does it make you feel good?
Collecting hearts
By the thousands
Hearing their sweet whispers

Does it make you feel good?
When you actually fall in love
But you know How disgusting
You really are

But still you seek the attention
The compliments
The love you don't deserve
But they still do
Do you feel good?

Everyone always tells me how strong I am
I have been through so much
I’m so wise beyond my years
Like it’s a good thing
The best thing you can be

But I don’t want that
I don’t want to be strong
That just means I’m in pain
I’m always in pain
In every way I can be

I’m so tired I don’t want this anymore
I don’t want to be here

I just want my best friend back
I just want a family
I just want to be healthy

I just really don’t ******* want to be here anymore
But I can’t bring myself to end it.
I just can’t

It’s coming
The time of year that I just seem to disappear
But it’s not that simple
It’s heavy
It’s suffocating
It’s uncomfortable
It’s persistent
It’s just something I can’t escape

I’m so tired
But I can’t sleep
When I do sleep
My dreams are so cruel
They keep me up

It’s that time of year that I’m reminded
That I always find myself in such a horrible place
But I desperately tell myself to just keep going
Just keep trying
It has to end at some point right?
It has too.

It does until it doesn’t.
I really wish someone could just wake me up
When September ends

I’m left to wake with only thoughts
Of that kiss
Thoughts of that man
Thoughts of that night
I night filled with passionate conversation
So full bodied my voice is hoarse
Smile so big and so constant I wake
With sore cheeks
And excitement so pure
My hands still shake and my soul
Still flutters
Finally I feel something
I could cry with how happy I am
To feel love again
Is this love though?
Atleast the start of it?
Or is it just another trick
My brain is playing on me?
No matter
I have no space for that thinking right now
All I can think of is
His adorably round glasses
The curls in his hair
The sweet kind Adventure in his eyes
The shape of his lips
His subtle compliments that he slips in perfectly to make my soul flutter but not embarrass me too much.
The way he laughs at the things I mutter. The gentleman acts he displays.
Most of all that last moment we spent together
The first time I have ever kissed someone outside of a car on the first date that was warmed and sweet longer than it should and ******* hot. The way he held me the way is shoulders shoulders felt. His smell..
I’m ecstatic to explore that more but I don’t feel rushed too
Even if this ends in tragedy
I welcome it
I welcome it a thousand times
Because at-least then I know it is real
And I’m so grateful to be feeling this now

I can’t believe I used to be the girl
That would tell everyone it would be okay
I used to be the girl that all I wanted to do
Was make people feel better
I used to motivate people and be there for them when they lost their loved ones
But look at me now
I am none of that now
I never really was I guess
All the **** I said
Maybe it did make people feel better
But now I know it was all *******
I don’t know anything
Look at me now
I’m just the girl in tears
On her bathroom floor
Writing a stupid poem
Trying to hide from the world
Trying to hide from the pain
I am just a stupid girl full of lies

There was a girl that lived in a small town.
She was lonely back then but it was okay because she didnt think she needed anything more.

One day she realized how really alone she was. For the first time it sunk in. This time she began to feel the pain that lonelyness brings. Then she lost someone that she never thought could disappear and realized that everything has changed and the entire world looks much different now. She was Overcome with searing grief and guilt but in some ways it brought people closer together. Atleast she had others to share her feelings with.

However, not long after everyone would fall away and she was more alone than she had ever been before. Left only with her guilt anger and sadness. But its okay its a small town, she would leave go somewhere new and make plenty of new friends.

But that didnt happen. People play games They like you when it is convienient or when they have no one else. They already have their own friends and they dont need her. There are so many people in her new city but they are all just strangers to her.

She just stays up at night when everyone is asleep, Trying to figure out how to make a connection with someone, how to make them care, and how to make them stay. All she can think of are the ones who left her and all the things she has ever done wrong.

This town is hateful and cold
Its smothered my dreams since I was 6 years old
These people have nothing to do
But sit around and crush you

They shoot crude stares
How can I not be aware
they laugh at all I hold dear
Alas only three more years

Until I'm gone
Able to fly to my own song
able to awake to open arms
Free of all alarms

three more years
Till then I must remain here
In this secluded town
I will never let you bring me down

The truth is
I hate my body
And I always will
Every time I see my self
Every inch of fat I pinch
Every colossal photograph
I hate it I hate it all

Don't ask me what's wrong
Because I don't want to tell you
Because I don't want to be
One of those girls
That fish for compliments
Because I don't care
No matter what you say
I will never think I'm thin

No matter how many
Pounds
Inches
Meals
I lose
I honestly believe I will never feel
Thin even if someday I become thin
I won't see it

I hold you so deep in my heart
When I listen to my soul
Your constant ringing,
Is still guiding my every step.
You have left me and even if not by choice
The anger, The sadness,
Is still drumming in sync with my heart.
Your memory is like a withering flower.
Slowly starting to bend
slowly, dying
What am I to do?
I share my water, my food, even my love.
But your time is up
I hold that dead flower so gently in my hands
But still it crumbles
Being the fool that I am told I am
I try to mend the broken petals back together
In hope that somehow
You will bloom once again
Into the beautiful flower
That I remember you to be
That is still in my dreams...

This lantern of mine
lights up my world like your eyes
Did on that last night

I have learned so many things this year with you,
I learned my former heart breaks
were something I had to do
to understand how much I am in love with you.

I learned that all my troubles in life
were to show me how good life really is
you taught me how beautiful life could be

I learned
that the world looks so much better
through your tinted windows
the sunset in the summer
looks so much better in shades of purple
the sun is so much more comfortable
the river is much more calm
and our love is much more private

I love the way the world looks
through your tinted windows

This relationship
Is so very different from the rest
And this time I mean it
Not like last time
Or the time before that
But really
This time is different

Everything is so honest
I don't love you yet
And you don't love me
But thats ok
We can tell each other that
And it feels so free

I don't feel Like I have to play these games
I don't feel Like I have to hold back my feelings
I don't feel Like I have to put up walls
So I won't get hurt...

I don't have to tell you
Cute little lies that we always tell
Just so I won't hurt your feelings
We are just happy in each others company
We are just slowly getting to know each other
It's so free

Every time I see you You
I don't have to tell myself your perfect
That our relationship is perfect
That everything is perfect
Because that's Probably a lie

This relationship isn't pressured to be something it's not
It is what it is
And it is free

And never in my life have I have ever been so happy

I want to be in your room
On your bed
I want you to slowly move
One hand along my waist
Down to my lower abdomen
And down to my thigh
I want to feel your other hand
Move it's way up my ribs
Brush past my *******
Feeling my chest up to my neck
I want Your nose to touch the bottom of my
Neck all the way to my jaw to my ear
I want to feel every hot breath against my skin
Every inch along the way
I want Your soft kiss on my cheek
The way you hold me before we make love
The softness in arms and in your voice the passion in your eyes I feel your love like I'm touching your heart with my own body
I think it's the way you show me you love me
The reason why I lust for you so much
I need your body it's all I can think about
I want to kiss you for hours I want to be sentenced to your bed for the rest of my life
When I'm on top of you the way you kiss me and wait for me to **** on your lip and bite it the way it turns you on and i feel you ****** your hips into mine. You get excited and squeeze my **** and slap it and you stop to stare at me. Then you roll over on top of me and start to take my clothes you never stop looking at me you always look right into my eyes. We have to be quiet but I can't be when your inside. So you dig your neck and shoulder into my mouth your not very loud but every deep breath and grunt and word you say to me in a hot musky voice sends me into another world. I just want it to last forever I have never wanted someone so badly in my entire life.

I gaze at the moon
Are you looking at it too?
Just like the last time?

When we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above
I love you till the day I die

Nightmares are like a trap
First you enjoy the details
The vividness
They play on your romantic side
But then
They turn into
A twisted reality
It happens slowly but fast all in the same
It’s too real to be real
The trap distorts further and further
Until you don’t know who you are anymore
Then you wake up
But it’s too late
Your left alone
Feeling alone but like there is some other presence over you
Your left
You can’t shake it
Can’t understand it
It just hurts

I went shopping today
I thought it would make me feel good
It did in the moment
But
My closet is full
But my life is still empty

Im so alone
And I hate myself
What am I
I’m just a lie
I want everything to just end for a while
I’m just existing
I don’t know what to do anymore

I don't know if this is love
But I think
This is the closest I ever been

You changed the colors of your hair
We don't care
You got an A on your test
We don't care

You got a new car
We don't care
You recieved a promotion
We don't care

You ate at that new resturaunt
We don't care
You bought new dress to flaunt
We don't care

Children are starving
Madmen are are carving
Up women they grabbed of the streets
Say goodbye to our heartbeats

Soldiers are dying
Innocent people are crying
we can try to fight starvation
But we are headed to damnation

but you don't care
It has nothing to do with you
just keep breathing your clean air
You have more important things to do

What will it take to trend?
In what way do I need to pretend?
To actually be popular again?
I write more and more
Are my words just a bore?
What will it take to get my foot in the door?
So go tell me your price
Humors me give me advice
When will my words suffice?
Is it wrong to want fame?
Am I the one to blame,
For conforming to societies game?

What does it take for someone to care?
What does it take for someone to not brush everything off?
What does it take to notice the signs?
I didn't notice them, But they were so clear.
I live my life every day knowing that you were trying to reach out to me. I didn't take it seriously I said "You shouldn't joke about things like that. You know how people react to stuff like that.
But it wasn't a joke, and why didn't I react like that.
The guilt shattered me. The guilt of that day sits as a painful pressure in my throat, shaking hands, and unwavering fear.

I only confessed this to one person before
they brushed it off told me it wasnt my fault and I shouldnt think about it. Then the conversation ended and They never spoke to me again.

I dont think friendship exists anymore. If it does I dont know it.
people dont care about you anymore. People that you have known for so long that are supposed to be there for you just dont care anymore.

What does it take?

I am so tired of being alone.

What is it?
what creature takes away my slumber
what creature steals away my ability to sleep
My eyes are heavy
my mind is overworked
my body ready for the night
but when I close my eyes
these creatures laugh
they laugh at the absence of escape
They laugh of their deed
they laugh at me
what kind of creature would do this?

Why cant i just say how i feel
why cant i just say how much pain i am in
why cant i just say that every night i get flashbacks and i feel like everything is just being ripped out of me
why cant i just ******* say something
i want so badly for someone know
I want so badly to not be so ******* alone
but i just cant do it
my mind just goes blank
and i just dont know
all feeling just leaves my body
until the next night
when the tears come back
the pain gets worse...
again
and
again
why cant i just say


something

Words are just broken meanings
Just constantly taking beatings.
Slowly they begin to die
More and more with every lie.
Always said and always misused
Till soon enough their souls are skewed
And they now mean nothing to you.

Your not here anymore
So I rely on the Sun and the moon
When I am lost at night
And my bed is cold an lonely
I look to the moon
Just like we used to
The moon will guide me
And feel my tears
Just like you used too.
When I am angry and heartbroken
And the world
Has turned on me
I will look to Sun
To warm my cheeks
To comfort me
To light up my world
Just like you used too.
You are my Sun
You are my moon
As long as then rise and fall
I know you are always
Here with me

Don't cry baby your a masterpiece
Don't cry baby just keep posing for me
Don't cry baby or someone will see
Don't cry baby just dream **** things
Don't cry baby or you'll never get these keys
Don't cry baby you will be safe with me
Don't cry baby your my masterpiece

One last time I see
Your eyes glimmer at the stars
The last time goodbye