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"out of sight, out of mind" they said
then why do i still think about you?
Kewayne Wadley Feb 2017
In the midst of talking to my friend girl.
She mentioned that she's been waking up in the middle of the night.
Cold, unable to go back to sleep.
We talked for a while longer, being our normal silly selves.
Then she asked a not so unusual question but unusual question.
She asked if she could borrow my heart, that she sought somewhere warm, comfortable.
That here lately she hasn't been able to find such a place.
Without hesitation I gave it to her. The blurred line of going through such lengths expecting the same sincerity to be returned.
Ensuring that she would at least get a good night's sleep if nothing else hoping to put her mind at ease.
We went for days, months even without so much as a single word being said.
Given the things she'd normally go through it was quite understandable.
What ever was mine I would have given until I found myself waking up later and later night after night.
My dreams no longer existent. Without realizing I found myself in the same predicament.
In search of a peace of mind.
It wasn't until she appeared out of the blue.
It put my mind at ease to see her happy, fruitful.
We talked for a while.
Laughing about everything that went on while separated from each other.
But when the topic of sleep came up I asked about my heart.
I noticed a brief hesitation.
Choosing to confess without saying too much, she gave my heart back.
Worn. No longer able to fit where it once came.
When asked what happened she turned her attention to someone else.
Seeking the same affection
claire Jan 2017
Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.
These, our bodies, possessed by light.
Tell me we'll never get used to it
- Richard Siken


there are two facts upon which you ground your love:
     1. you are damaged
     2. they are going to leave

you do not come screeching out of your mother’s body believing this about yourself
     you learn how
     over time
     over minutes and months
     over years

you meet people and take them into yourself
     wrap them in your chest so deeply
     you know they will never escape.
     they may exit your life
     walk away,
     go where you can’t find them;
     but not the presence of them
     the core of them
     the feeling of them inside of you
     beating and glowing and sighing
     like a heart
     not that. that will stay. you’ll make it stay

you’ll teach yourself to grip onto those final remnants
     the way a dying person grips onto breath

you will hold and hold and hold
     not letting go, not knowing how to

you’ll grow a well of absence inside yourself
     and nurture it into a great and incredible yearning:
     this hall of memories within you
     these faces you cannot forget

you will call it grief. you will call it
     *mine


the girl who shows you the truth is
     ballet and brilliance
     you watch her sideways on the bus
     where she sits with her mother,
     face swathed in light,
     profile outlined in radiance
     like the ring of a solar eclipse
     and you have only been around the sun
     nine times
     but god,
     the quiet, uncomplicated
     beauty of her,
     the straightforwardness of
     her warmth—

she is the first person to whom
     you are not biologically linked who sees
     something more in you
     she notices your fire and tends to it
     until it becomes a towering
     blaze

but the last night you see her
     you are sure you are going to die
     caught in the seats of theater
     in front of a stage on which
     this girl dances
     like she has nothing left to give
     but love
     and an utter lack of
     fear

the last night you see her
     she embraces you
     and her hair is curled
     and her lashes are lined
     and her lips are rosy
     and you could scream out with what you
     feel
     but cannot explain

the last night you see her
     the elevator doors close
     between the two of you,
     splicing your longing,
     sending you off onto your own
     barren continent

the last night you see her
     you learn that you love
     and people leave
     and that the people you love leave
     and that this is a truth you almost
     cannot bear


[how to turn my grief into something
     powerful
how not to equate my longing with something
     flawed, something ugly
how to
     rise again
how to
     survive
]

these are the things you ask yourself now
     when you are naked and alone in your loss

these are the questions you stay alive to answer
     because yes, you are damaged
     and people leave
     but that is not everything there is to
     this filthy-heavenly existence
     you cannot seem to
     escape

you carry your sorrow like an old handbag
     but you are growing tired of its weight
     preparing to incinerate it and spread the ashes
     the way you spread your devotion:
     bravely, and now,
     without remorse

you are learning that you are damaged
     and wonderful, scarred
     and sacred
     bruised
     and divine
    
they are going to leave
     but you will go on in spite of it
     you will go on because this is
     all you have

you and your heart
     and your overwhelming forward momentum

your love
Cody Henatt Nov 2015
His demise, caused by his mind,
Was hardly fair.
But the universe doesn't cater,
Neither does it care.

My father, oh father,
You once had much to say;
But you lost hold of your mind,
On one fateful day.

Your sickness,
It was adamantly there,
That's why I won't complain about this burden,
Which is wholly mine to bear.

Deep down in the ground,
You now lay,
And I wish I'd known you more, for
All I have are distant memories of play.

Little boy,
Dutiful father,
Playing together,
Without a bother.

I know where you hid,
Where you went,
You became lost in your mind,
Wholly spent.

But still,
Sometimes I let myself ponder,
What we could have had together,
If you mind was not forced to wander
Mak Waddle Oct 2015
He had dark curly hair
And always-smiling eyes
Everytime I picture him now
He grins at me

But he's long gone now
Taken by the wind of youth
And family
Removed from my side
As time was passing

If I were to see him again
There's no telling what I would do
Would I cry?
Would I ignore him?

He was my best friend
But he's gone again
As if I never knew him
As if we were never friends
Em Dec 2014
Heights
Im afraid of heights
They asked me what made me shake
And I just told them heights
But really, really truly,
I must say thats a lie
I am scared of falling
From the cliffs or from the sky
Or maybe really, truly,
Into someones mind
Because everyday I think of us
And how we used to be
Heights dont truly make me shake
Just the absence of you and me
Laura Mankowski Sep 2014
I was too busy dealing with everything else
To realize you were a crisis
So I swiftly
And utterly too efficiently
(With a practiced hand, no less)
Swept you away
Today
(Far too little, far too late)
I sat down to breathe
And the crushing blow
(The almost crippling loss)
Of your absense
Hit
In the morning, I'll resume life
At top speed, no doubt
(Which you resented for its- my- rigidity)
But for tonight
I'll sit still with you
(Isn't that what you wanted anyway?)
Jasmine smiles Apr 2014
I hold you so deep in my heart
When I listen to my soul
Your constant ringing,
Is still guiding my every step.
You have left me and even if not by choice
The anger, The sadness,
Is still drumming in sync with my heart.
Your memory is like a withering flower.
Slowly starting to bend
slowly, dying
What am I to do?
I share my water, my food, even my love.
But your time is up
I hold that dead flower so gently in my hands
But still it crumbles
Being the fool that I am told I am
I try to mend the broken petals back together
In hope that somehow
You will bloom once again
Into the beautiful flower
That I remember you to be
That is still in my dreams...
I wrote this two years ago. It is based on my dear sister who passed on due to leukaemia

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