the leaves were falling
the way i was falling
for you. //
h.d.

i used to go downstairs
to find my dad watching
football and i would pretend
to understand what was
happening as i told him
about my day, and he
would say he loved me.

now six years later it's
football season and i
haven't gone downstairs
in a months.
i wish i knew why.
h.d.

there are people like you there.
the ones who yell "what the hell"
when there band plays on the
radio because they don't want to
share it with the world.

the ones who don't talk during
class because they simply just
want to be out free not making
up some stupid drama.

the ones who wear what they
want not giving a **** about
how people will look at them in
the hall.

the ones who are the outsiders.
the ones who are
just like you.
h.d.

is her abdomen showing? her shoulders are visible? her shorts just a little higher than her fingertips when her hands are by her side? is her back showing?
lets try this out. why not instead of demanding girls to change their outfits because they're a "distraction" for boys why don't we instead teach boys to keep their eyes to themselves instead of making girls think they should be ashamed of themselves for wearing what they want and being confident. don't perpetuate the idea that you shouldn't wear what you want and be comfortable and confident with your body.
i am a fourteen-year-old girl and i will wear whatever the hell i want.
h.d.

it was the music,
if it weren't for the music we wouldn't be friends.
she would be alone with nothing but a bottle of anti-
depressants and darkness.
but i am here.
i will always be here and i will never leave her side
because life might not be a bucket of rainbows and
flowers right now but i believe that one day it will be.
and i will be here when that day comes.
and i really hope she never forgets,
it was the music.

she always crossed the street so suddenly,
she would stand right on the curb as cars flew past her.
she wanted to drop out of high school.
run away, and just live her ******* life.
she hated being tied down to something or someone.
she taught me life shouldn’t be taken so seriously
and to live in the moment more often.
she was this mysterious, fearless girl
who wanted nothing more than to figure out this huge ****** up world.
h.d.

maybe i will miss the trees
i thought lying in my bed
for the last time.
after all they were the
only thing that never left.
i hated it here.
nothing but vacant "im sorry"
and transparent dark walls.
but after all these years
i never quite noticed
how much i'd miss the trees.
h.d.

"these will all be memories one day"
she said as we sat on the corner of
the old middle school.  
"one day we wont remember this day,
we wont remember sitting here on
this September day." her voice got
quite when she looked down at the
fallen leaves.
"scary huh, that one day we won't
be in middle school only worrying
about what test was coming up and
who liked who."
i kept quite not saying a word,
"because non of those stupid
things matter, middle school
becomes high school, then
high school becomes life and
these will be memories."
she laughed this beautiful
laugh you could listen to forever
and she stood up and said
"lets go make these memories"

she always walked
as if she had a better place to be
like she beloned in a better world.
h.d.

three months ago I saw you,
and God you brought me joy.
you filled my days with happiness,
even though you were just a boy.

two months ago I saw you,
i froze right where I was.
I swore my heart stopped beating,
and I felt that pain
that made me go insane.

one month ago I saw you,
holding someone else's hand.
she smiled and laughed
and I just sighed,
I wander if she knew you lied.

this month I saw you,
roaming aimlessly through the hall,
and for once I didn't run into the wall,
but walked right by like a stranger.
h.d.

i looked at you twice when
you said "I like the blue bruises
on my wrist" I think you said
that to scare me away and honestly
you almost did, but I stayed and
held your hand and you wouldn't
look me in the eye. i finally said
"I like them too." and I swore you
had the happiest face, then you
realized what I said and you started
crying saying "one day they will
be healed and gone." and I never
felt so confusing sitting in the
dim light in your basement
on the cold ground.
h.d.

the sun starts to set so soon
and you stopped smiling as much,
and the leaves started dying.
it made me scared of the winter,
but I hated the heat.
h.d.

I couldn't write for days
Because the words got
Stuck in my throat and
They sounded sour when
They came out on paper.

I sat forcing my self to
Write a well written poem
But my mind kept spinning
And the clock kept ticking
Making me go quite insane.

I just couldn't seem to put
My thoughts together and form
A decent poem that made sense
not some self pity love letter to
the one who won't love back.

You told me to just stop thinking
So much and write for my self
And not for others and I cried
As I sat there with paper and pen
Confused at why I could write.
h.d.