how can i love
and be detached at the same time?
when half of my foot is out of the door
but my lover is beckoning me to come in

peculiar,
just like you.
you prefer hydrangeas
over roses
and when
you planted
a valley
of them
inside of me
i get butterflies in my stomach
everytime i see you
but when you left
the butterflies
stopped coming
flowers rot

i slept with grudges in my head
and now i got a headache
what the fck

and so i gave cupid back the arrow.

****** and pull
you and i loved that pattern
messed up sheets
creased and ruffled
left with many lustful memories
pleasurable reveries
unveiling mysteries
breaking boundaries
bare and exposed
we were naked in and out
we gave it all

tell me you don't need me
that way
i wont have second thoughts
on banging on your door
just to make sure
you're okay

my lips were a pen
and so i wrote sonnets
on your paper hands

you cant love a bird, silly
it has no capacity for love inside of it
it loves the freedom so much.
commitment is foreign to them

give me a blanket full of stars
and
your eyes.
                 and
                         i swear with all my heart.
                                                                       yours
                                                                                 outshined
                                                                        them.

you make me utter words
for you cannot get a single word
when i speak in full sentences.

water holds no memory, my dear
you'll forget about me tomorrow
but i won't
the wholeness of my being
encapsulated in your body of water
will stain the blanket of my memory
like coffee-stained bedsheets at 2 in the morning
too intoxicated with slumber to clean the mess
and so i just leave it there
body draped across the bed
with a mind and soul aching to rest.

you make me utter words
for you, my love
cannot get a single word
whenever i speak in full sentences

ever since you left
the pages of my book has been collecting dust ever since you left.
you walked out of the door
carelessly,recklessly, tremendously walking in and out
like a doormat
ever since you left
every word, every letter, every punctuation has been losing it's sole purpose
i have lost the vocabulary of putting my thoughts into paper
expressing every emotion into deep, meaningless words that you wouldnt even read.
you walked out of the door
with my poetry and love with you.

your words were intoxicating
but why do i feel sober

often times I notice the universe doesn't want me in this place.
like cutting my airways short, sometimes it is hard to breathe.
or the weariness that climbs up my chest.
I know this fear is a void in me but I know it isn't empty.
the world is getting rid of me in subtle, subtle ways no one can see but me.

oh darling,
how i knew you were never catching me from
falling off the bridge
should i never jumped off in the first place.

and even the sun sacrifices itself
for u to shine
regardless of the daylight
just so to see u.

u dont even wear
colorful clothes
yet u always
caught my eye

the waves are coming
stand your ground
they come and go
and if you fall down
get up
and brace yourself
for the next round

i swept the shards of your heart when she broke it.
i pieced them back together and it took me forever
but i didnt mind because i loved you and thats all it mattered
but when u gave your heart to another girl
my heart shattered.

u are bad decisions disguised in tempations.

your love is a gamble people don't want to risk

your body is poetry
every inch, every curve
has its own structure
your body i didnt have the audacity
to muster

in a lonely night
the streets
sparkled,
twinkled,
shined.
from where
the stars fell
when the moon
didnt want them anymore

the fire died down like lava and ice.
instantly dying,
consistently trying
to keep the light alive.

-my feelings for you

i watched you,
you looked at me
and nothing else could compare

up until now, i still find you tucked in my ponders
under rosy-pink skies, birds singing as they fly by.
up until now, i still find you dancing in my midnight reveries under starry nights; i wish of you for every shooting star that passes by.
up until now, i still listen to the songs you've sung, beneath treacherous hurricanes that you love, where storm clouds hung.
up until now, the image of you still lives inside my head,
your name trails down to my throat,
along with the words i never said.
"i love you," i wish i said.
up until now, i still wait for you.
for our love is anything but dead.

i keep forcing myself.
i keep forcing myself to think that i still like you.
that i still love you.
im chasing something that isnt real.
im trying to light a matchstick that has already been lit
bu i pushed that thought aside
and thought maybe, maybe a mere spark might just emanate
the dull object.
maybe because i dont want closure.

the countless times
our lips
brushed past
each other.
my lips were demanding
but my heart refuses.
when i thought
alcohol
could give me a sense
of confidence.
"coward."
warning signs were
plastered on your
face but how could
i say no.