the wind carries me to an island
floating through my memories
I’ve glided through the past
my heart is yearning to go back
to summer roast duck
in the Swedish city,
not far from the train
that takes us back home
or the ferry to Bornholm
the island my heart desires
freedom on a bike
rolling hills to my right,
filled with fields of wild lavender
as well as the aimless lone windmill
to my left, with my arms spread wide
my head tilted back
coasting down the hill,
is the vast expanse of the ocean
the blue that meets the clear skyline
the air is hot and sticky
yet the sun beams leaving a hot burn
I can feel this day,
if I just shut my eyes
as if I were on the island
which was not far from home
when the ferry took us back
Home, where the people are themselves
where they depend on each other
their culture unites them
in a city I fell in love with
in a way I’ve never loved before
Copenhagen

I love you like I can never love another

You stuck a knife in my heart
as you walked away, one final time
and you twisted the blade,
when you never looked back

There’s a reason everyone loves autumn
As the leaves change so do we
Turning into our true colors
Where once we were all green
Inner beauty is brought fourth
There is a metamorphosis
From blending in, to standing out
Our differences are celebrated

We may start out the same
But that won’t stop the change
The transformation we all go through,
Our inner selves cannot be detained
It’s always been there waiting,
Wanting to shine through
One of the few guarantees life gives us,
That change comes and leaves turn

My past created my present
Yet, it’s nowhere near my extent
My future is undefined
Something that is only mine
Time will pass, and I remain infinite  
An existence classified as definitive

I want to get so high
That I forget who I am
Whoever I become
She’ll be better than the original
Spontaneous adventures
That lead to regrets
That I won’t remember

I’m floating away in time
Your face is swirling in my mind
Unclear, blurry, and undefined
Is that you?
Or who I thought you were
Your lies caught up to you
And my image of you morphed
Are those horns? Is that a tail?
You used to whisper
Such sweet words
Lies.
Lies.
They were all lies.
I remember them all
They sounded like promises
Ones that you never made
Ones that you never kept
Ones that never existed

Don’t ever trust this smile
It’s a despondently, trained lie
My eyes may seem hostile
But you won’t ever hear me cry
And you won’t ever see my cuts
The only thing you’ll see is this **** smile

He ripped my heart out
Clawed it from my chest
Carelessly threw it about
Painfully leaving me in unrest.

Just as the sun chases the moon
I’m coming after you

The snow is falling outside
Like the way I’m falling for you
It melts on the sidewalk
Like the way your eyes melt my heart
The whiteness is blinding
Just like your smile
This flurry outside,
Feels like my stomach inside,
When you’re by my side
Each snowflake is one of a kind,
Intricate, detailed, and refined
Exactly like you

When everything is spiraling around me
I have this to keep me company
These three little lines,
That I carve in my skin
I use a sharp pen,
It draws with red ink
Life returns to its balance
And I’m back in control
At least that’s what I think

It’s my ritual
Every three days
I draw three lines
They keep me sane
And away from my pain
Some days they’re all I have
Some days they’re what I need
When I can’t grasp reality
My red pen brings it back to me

If I can control my body
Then maybe someday
My mind will follow
But for now
This is all I have
When life swallows me up
And spits me back out
This is my way of dealing
With the hand that I’ve been dealt

On the outside you see a sweet girl
However, inside there is only dark turmoil
She’s fighting off her demons
And wrestling with her thoughts
But you would never know
Because she’s such a sweet girl

Why would I let you hurt me?
When I already do it to myself.
So when you leave
I’ll feel no pain
Only the sharp edge
Of my blade
Tearing through my skin,
Like you tore through my heart

I live in my mind
Because reality
Doesn’t fit my time.
Everything is all
Wrong, in my mind
I am the musician of my
Own song, and you are
Notes that I forever
Want to play,
Nice and slow
Taking my time
Because I never want
To let go, of the beautiful
Moments we spend in my mind

I am a fighter
Because I know someday
That things will be brighter
And I will find a way

                                                        I am a lover
                                         Holding on to the possibility
                                                That I might discover
                                             A person that has virility

                                                       ­                                         I am a romantic
                                                        ­                         My desires are unwired
                                                         ­                       Trying to be sycophantic
                                                     ­                                Easily I  become sired

I am socially dislocated
My heart is devastated
Annexed from humanity
My mind is iridescent
Closing off my heart
And opening up my mind
To a new time,
That you’re no longer mine

Let’s do everything
That we said we couldn’t
Let’s love the way
We said we wouldn’t

Our mind is all we’ve got
So bare with me if I have
More than one thought of you,
Of us.

I think of you like
There’s no other thought
To think about, overthinking
So much it leaves me in doubt

I crave you like
I said I wouldn’t
I need you when really
I shouldn’t

One day I want to string together the most beautiful combinations of words
I want to woe with merely the construction of my sentences alone
Until then I’ll sputter out the half thought up phrases I create in my mind

There once was a girl and a boy
The girl opened up herself
And trusted the boy,
He broke her heart,
And she was shattered
Time went by
And she learned to trust again
Eventually he came back into her life
This time she thought she was being smart
She foolishly gave him another chance
He abused her trust,
And devastated her
She was irreversibly damaged
Now she trusts no one,
Not even herself

You stole the smile from my eyes
My sight is dimmed
My heart is hardened from your lies

Now I know how big of a nothing I am
You took my innocence
And I’ve transformed into a dam

You better be careful I’m about to overflow
My emotions are rising
I don’t want to care, but it’s hard to let go

I can’t help it I still want you
You were my first
You’re in my DNA, but I want to be someone new