You're only as old as you treat yourself so maybe be less ignorant and maybe they wouldn't have left you and maybe just maybe you could smell their scent on your clothes and your hair scrunched from their delicate yet rough hands
But you see out love was like a car crash Yes it was drawing both of us together But it left us both hurt in the end Stuck going through the remnants That used to be our memories but every now and then I'd get cuts from going through all the rubbage left over and I'm still paying for it
I MISS YOUR CROOKED SMILE AND I MISS HOW YOU USED TO LAUGH BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU CLAIMED IT SOUNDED LIKE A WITCH I ALWAYS WAS REMINDED OF YOU WHEN CHURCH BELLS RANG AND ALL I KNOW IS I MISS THE SUNDAY EVENINGS AND I MISS THE WAY THEY SOUNDED AND I JUST WANT YOU BACK
You said you didn't understand why we kept running back to eachother
"especially you with what i've done to you each time"
well i figured it out
We're fire charged I can literally feel the pull between us; every fiber of my body and thats why we fight- always always finding something to fight about i truly think we like the fighting- to get under eachothers skin , because we were too intense of a pair But, in the same way we're also fire with desire we're electric you bring me to life
you know my body and you know my mind
I literally crave you
*and its a ****** up cycle isn't it
took me a while and i have writers block so i apoligize
But maybe we’re all fools Some granted with intelligence But still quite dull in areas And unwilling to learn And maybe this is why there are so many Wounded hearts and smart intellects Walking around Pacing back and forth trying to find out what they could've done differently
I don't quite know what even sets me off lately I'll just be sitting in class and i get angry the anger seems to consume me the worst is when i usually have to leave but when will my inner anger leave and who am i actually so **** hostile at
why cant you see I'm intoxicated by you but its a lovely poison in which i keep coming back too anybody could tell me I'm still in love with you maybe you even have feelings for me too but there's always that maybe that maybe is what got me here in the first place
I think sometimes the worst part is realizing how lonely you are thinking nobody is there for you knowing nobody's there for you it can be unbearable that is unless you get used to it but maybe that's even worse
And the moon kissed her face The light was extravagantly beautiful But so was she The morbid part of it Was she didn’t know And she liked him so it didn’t matter Did it? and maybe i should just give up
why do we always choose negativity over being positive we choose to have our thoughts drown us because it is harder to swim than to s i n k
Very in-between with my thoughts lately , i think i am getting better though. I haven't had an anxiety attack in a week and my scars have begun to fade from the last one
The way your hand slipped into mine I'd trace around your wrist outlining your veins and it felt like i could stay there forever doing that but it always came time for me to leave too early at that The way you tasted the first time we kissed was salt and perhaps it was from us swimming a few minutes before but i can't forget it every time i go in the ocean but now you're gone and i cant help but remember the simple things maybe they're stupid but I'd do anything to have it back
I just so happen to be going to the beach now , nostalgia has a funny way of creeping up again
maybe if i drink this whole bottle and become intoxicated it will replace your poison I'll be better maybe if i go ahead and smoke to clear my thoughts each inhale replacing our memories I'll feel better maybe if i relapse and break down once again I'll feel better *but maybe the best cure is you as the poison
So I've decided to become silent in hope that maybe someone will notice for it seems as if no one would now so I'm gonna see how long it takes my friends to notice i have become mute
And its almost comical how I couldn't understand how you could hurt me when you so called "loved me so much" but here i am chasing between the 2 of you and i feel so overcome with guilt that i almost don't blame you for not telling me for i can't even tell him .
their must be something wrong with me because i can't seem to climb back from the fall their must be something wrong with me for i like the way the blood gathers on my skin their must be something wrong with me because i can't seem to even work their must be something wrong with me because you took all that was right
as we sat there i traced my thumb along your skin trying to dig into the constellations with just a trace of my finger wondering if maybe you understood why
sorta relevant to what happened today eh , sorry for not writing as well , lack of inspiration on my part
I have this bad habit of getting close to people and meditating that they'll always be by my side; but they always leave
I have this bad habit of loving people a tad bit much , when they din't even love me back; and when they leave me my heart feels as if someone threw it from the side of the woods
I have this bad habit of caring for people ; when they don't think of me even once
And I'm just so tired I'm tired , I'm tired I'm tired i just hope that one day i can find somebody that shares the same toxic habits as i do.
Maybe all we’re doing is wandering Walking around Until we find out our destination But the best places come from those Who do not plan Who don’t know where exactly they’re going Those who just go along with it And maybe that’s why we don’t always go the right path We fought against wandering around and just went
I HATE THAT YOU HAVE SO MUCH CONTROL OVER MY EMOTIONS, THAT I AM SO COMPELLED BY YOUR WORDS AND I HAVE NEVER CRAVED SOMEONE SO MUCH AS I CRAVE YOU BUT YOU WANT HER AND WHAT IF YOU'RE TELLING HER THE SAME THINGS YOU TOLD ME THAT MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY I DO BUT OH MY GOD I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF CRYING IN MY PILLOW AT 3:AM OVER YOU