Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
14.5k · May 2014
Cigarette
Mostly numb May 2014
yes i smoke

i smoke to put something in my hand

to replace the same place your hand used to rest

so maybe its a force of habit

yes i smoke

just to keep something warm near me

because most things are painfully cold lately.
13.0k · May 2014
Cycles of numbness
Mostly numb May 2014
You said you didn't understand why we kept running back to eachother

"especially you with what i've done to you each time"

well i figured it out

We're fire
charged
I can literally feel the pull between us;
every fiber of my body
and thats why we fight-
always
always finding something to fight about
i truly think we like the fighting-
to get under eachothers skin , because we were too intense of a pair
But, in the same way
we're also  fire with desire
we're electric
you bring me to life

you know my body and you know my mind

I literally crave you

*and its a ****** up cycle isn't it
took me a while and i have writers block so i apoligize
5.5k · Mar 2014
negativity
Mostly numb Mar 2014
why do we always choose negativity over being positive
we choose to have our thoughts drown us because
it is harder to swim
than
to
s
i
n
k
Very in-between with my thoughts lately , i think i am getting better though. I haven't had an anxiety attack in a week and my scars have begun to fade from the last one
2.8k · May 2014
I'm in love with the old you
Mostly numb May 2014
It's hard not to
fall in love
with someone

when
they see the
mixed up parts of your
soul.

When
they understand
the darkest and
dustiest
corners of your mind.

When
it's four a.m.
and they call
because
they know you're
not
asleep
i thought this was good i dont know sorry
2.4k · Mar 2014
Untitled
Mostly numb Mar 2014
as we sat there i traced my thumb along your skin
trying to dig into the constellations with just a trace of my finger
wondering if maybe you understood why
sorta relevant to what happened today eh , sorry for not writing as well , lack of inspiration on my part
1.8k · Mar 2014
Wandering
Mostly numb Mar 2014
Maybe all we’re doing is wandering
Walking around
Until we find out our destination
But the best places come from those
Who do not plan
Who don’t know where exactly they’re going
Those who just go along with it
And maybe that’s why we don’t always go the right path
We fought against wandering around and just went
Mostly numb May 2014
je peux vous aime mais vous êtes tout simplement pas la peine ma chérie
i don't think i need you anymore for you are simply toxic to my health and i can't very well have that ,can i?
1.7k · Mar 2014
timeless
Mostly numb Mar 2014
everyone's killing time and i just want to spend time with you
1.7k · May 2014
Nostalgia
Mostly numb May 2014
The way your hand slipped into mine
I'd trace around your wrist
outlining your veins
and it felt like i could stay there forever doing that
but it always came time for me to leave
too early at that
The way you tasted the first time we kissed was salt
and perhaps it was from us swimming a few minutes before
but i can't forget it every time i go in the ocean
but now you're gone and i cant help but remember the simple things
maybe they're stupid but I'd do anything to have it back
I just so happen to be going to the beach now , nostalgia has a funny way of creeping up again
Mostly numb May 2014
I HATE THAT YOU HAVE SO MUCH CONTROL OVER MY EMOTIONS, THAT I AM SO COMPELLED BY YOUR WORDS AND I HAVE NEVER CRAVED SOMEONE SO MUCH AS I CRAVE YOU BUT YOU WANT HER AND WHAT IF YOU'RE TELLING HER THE SAME THINGS YOU TOLD ME THAT MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY I DO BUT OH MY GOD I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF CRYING IN MY PILLOW AT 3:AM OVER YOU
just something to put up
Mostly numb May 2014
Je dirais je t'aime mais je me suis pas enseigné à aimer les choses qui quittent
french makes all of my thoughts sound beautiful when they sound like nothing but nightmares to me
1.4k · Mar 2014
replacement.
Mostly numb Mar 2014
maybe if i drink this whole bottle and become intoxicated it will replace your poison
I'll be better
maybe if i go ahead and  smoke to clear my thoughts each inhale replacing our memories
I'll feel better
maybe if i relapse  and break down once again
I'll feel better
*but maybe the best cure is you as the poison
1.3k · Mar 2014
Screams
Mostly numb Mar 2014
I would scream your name
over and over
till my throat hurts
just so i can get your name off the
tip
    of
          my
                  tongue
thought this was sorta pleasant and relevant
1.2k · May 2014
you always liked flowers
Mostly numb May 2014
you stopped
liking roses
when they
started to
grow out
of my
wrists
1.2k · Mar 2014
Fools
Mostly numb Mar 2014
But maybe we’re all fools
Some granted with intelligence
But still quite dull in areas
And unwilling to learn
And maybe this is why there are so many
Wounded hearts and smart intellects
Walking around
Pacing back and forth
trying to find out what they could've done differently
1.2k · Mar 2014
Car crash
Mostly numb Mar 2014
But you see out love was like a car crash
Yes it was drawing both of us together
But it left us both hurt in the end
Stuck going through the remnants
That used to be our memories
but every now and then
I'd get cuts from going through all the rubbage left over
and I'm still paying for it
1.2k · May 2014
"whats your type"
Mostly numb May 2014
Types of girls : *poetry-inked skin, hollow and fragile,dark circles, lack of eye contact, smeared mascara, not enough and too much
i seem to find something painfully lovely in girls like this
1.1k · Mar 2014
Poetic love
Mostly numb Mar 2014
i simply use big words

in a pathetic attempt

to match up my love

for     you

because if you can't    love  me

than perhaps

you can love my words
maybe if i continue it'll word 10th times a charm as they say
1.0k · May 2014
Crooked
Mostly numb May 2014
I MISS YOUR CROOKED SMILE AND I MISS HOW YOU USED TO LAUGH BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU CLAIMED IT SOUNDED LIKE A WITCH I ALWAYS WAS REMINDED OF YOU WHEN CHURCH BELLS RANG AND ALL I KNOW IS I MISS THE SUNDAY EVENINGS AND I MISS THE WAY THEY SOUNDED AND I JUST WANT YOU BACK
941 · Mar 2014
Untitled
Mostly numb Mar 2014
I have this bad habit of
getting close to people and meditating
that they'll always be by my side; but they always leave

I have this bad habit of
loving people a tad bit much , when they din't even love me back;
and when they leave me my heart feels as if
someone threw it from the side of the woods

I have this bad habit of caring for people
; when they don't think of me even once

And I'm just so tired
I'm tired , I'm  tired I'm tired
i just hope that one day i can find somebody that
shares the same toxic habits as i do.
just a little something
840 · May 2014
Untitled
Mostly numb May 2014
Why can people get drunk enough to get you off their mind

i cant

i cant blow you out in smoke and the blood that stains my wrist is only a temporary twist

for you were my 111;11 wish

i love you more than you loved me

and that may have hurt but you leaving was the worst
this is **** i'm so sorry
839 · Mar 2014
Intoxicated
Mostly numb Mar 2014
why cant you see I'm intoxicated by you
but its a lovely poison
in which i keep coming back too
anybody could tell me I'm still in love with you
maybe you even have feelings for me too
but there's always that maybe
that maybe is what got me here in the first place
Mostly numb May 2014
their must be something wrong with me
because i can't seem to climb back from the fall
their must be something wrong with me
for i like the way the blood gathers on my skin
their must be something wrong with me
because i can't seem to even work
their must be something wrong with me
because you took all that was right

M.B.
I'm sorry
798 · Mar 2014
recklessness
Mostly numb Mar 2014
maybe i am a bad person
maybe i can control it
maybe you were right
but maybe just maybe
you're wrong
super sad today hbu
763 · Mar 2014
bitter.
Mostly numb Mar 2014
You're only as old as you treat yourself
so maybe be less ignorant
and maybe they wouldn't have left you
and maybe just maybe you could smell their scent on your clothes
and your hair scrunched from their delicate yet rough hands
760 · Mar 2014
Moon-kissed
Mostly numb Mar 2014
And the moon kissed her face
The light was extravagantly  beautiful
But so was she
The morbid part of it  
Was she didn’t know
And she liked him so it didn’t matter
Did it?
and maybe i should just give up
744 · Mar 2014
hostility.
Mostly numb Mar 2014
I don't quite know what even sets me off lately
I'll just be sitting in class
and i get angry
the anger seems to consume me
the worst is when i usually have to leave
but when will my inner anger leave
and who am i actually so **** hostile at
sorry
686 · Mar 2014
Left alone
Mostly numb Mar 2014
I think sometimes the worst part is realizing how lonely you are
thinking nobody is there for you
knowing nobody's there for you
it can be unbearable
that is unless you get used to it
but maybe that's even worse
sorry I'm really triggered today
641 · Mar 2014
Tainted
Mostly numb Mar 2014
And its almost comical how I couldn't understand how you could hurt me
when you so called "loved me so much"
but here i am chasing between the 2 of you and i feel so overcome with guilt
that i almost don't blame you for not telling me for i can't even tell him .
591 · Mar 2014
Silence
Mostly numb Mar 2014
So I've decided to become silent
in hope that maybe someone will notice
for it seems as if no one would now
so I'm gonna see how long it takes my friends to notice i have become mute
should be interesting
578 · Mar 2014
stuck in place
Mostly numb Mar 2014
It felt right
for once everything felt right
but if it was so right why did i have such nostalgia
that lead back to you
i had a good day today
574 · Mar 2014
Untitled
Mostly numb Mar 2014
and i don't know if this is love
but i know i finally feel something
you got through my numbness
and maybe soon enough you
will penetrate my heart
so I'm super positive right now

— The End —