They saw me thinking
And expected something deep
But my thoughts I'll keep
Presenting a depthless surface
As transparent as lace
For my thoughts are heavily weighted
And my words?
They cannot comprehend

Burrowing down ***** rusted tunnels
The unsightly dark slimy beast
Crawling to Oblivion
Covered in a shroud of darkness
An almost empty nothingness

That was my soul
Crippled by limitations
The unending abyss
Grasping at straws
Until the light flooded in
Bathing my soul in the wildfire that is life!

It fuels my imagination
Intensifies my passion
And directs my emotions

Overwhelm me and let me create.

I'm weakened by my thoughts
Yet this void I must fill
With one or another
Yet, none a fit

Trading one for the other
Unsure of the outcome
And afraid of the possibilities
If only I could just stand by a choice?

It creeps in,
Those dark thoughts
Making the right seem wrong
Cripling my mental capacity with its intensity
Tearing down the walls of logic
To bring  in my insecurities
What if I am wrong?

In the end,
you're its slave
'till you take a stand
The awakening of your spine
Tearing it down from its root
'till all that's left before you
Are glorious wins.

Sit Still,
Try to Relax
I’m only just beginning...

Like thunder
Our love was strong
Now like rain
sorrow and pain
Our love is gone

I wonder
If there was ever a doubt in your mind
That we would succeed
Whatever
It was a pointless expectation
That was southbound
From start to finish
Emotions diminished
‘Till our empty shells we relish
What once was
But now is gone

A click in my brain
A release from this daze
And now, I see clearly
No wonder…

I thought about you beautifully
Wrote you down carefully
Determined to keep you with me
You're safe and sound with me
But for this glitch,
Erasing you completely
Robbing my mind of your glory
With only faint traces of your being
Now a hole in me I keep
But your words forgotten
And the faint sound of your screams
Ringing persistently
Forget me not.
But I did.

There is a difference between pretence and adaptation
Your mind constantly in motion
Emotions,
Rising up to the occasions
Changing,
Depending on different sitiations.
...
To the British I speak English
To the Polish, I speak Polish
To the rich, I’m rich
And not just in manner of speech

It's not pretence
It just makes sense
Adapting to every situation
A constant change with diverse emotions
Not just an illusion
There are established illustrations
...
To everything there are two sides
Upsides and downsides
What I call adaptation
Some call pretence
When I give an illustration
Some come to my defence
My aspiration to be better than I am
My conviction to change who I am
Has turned into deception
Leaving behind frustration.
...
The constant changes has its effect
Some might call it a defect
Just like trying to learn 10 languages at the same time
In the end all you have is half-baked knowledge not worth a dime.
A current situation
To which there is no solution
Adapt?  
Or pretend?
You decide if this is a upside,
Or a down side.
In the end, a position you must take,
“I am Half-baked.”

Try as I might,
I feel lost in myself
The myriad of empty rooms
Emptied in itself
Closed doors in my mind
I have trapped myself

Is there any hope
That I might find myself?

That familia voice said to me
Listen to me
Restrain yourself
Your heart is in the right
But examine yourself
Your actions can’t be right
Stay away for some time
Try to be by yourself
Extricate yourself
From emotional dependence
Your life hanging on to impossibilities
The morality line can’t be crossed
Leave your hearts untouched.

I didn’t listen,
And it started
A chain of events
Dominoes falling
Crumbling faster than the speed of light
And now our hearts are breaking
More than was expected
Tears stains covered by a mask of laughter
Sadness
Stronger than a mouth could utter
I didn’t listen.

I wish I could turn back the hands of time
And ignore the emotional magnet
For we’re now doom’s target
Emotions not worth a dime.
Next time I’ll listen.

Tell me,
How does one put thoughts into words?
How do you say exactly what you think
Without a fear for what comes afterwards?
And then blink,
Like its no big deal
Like your heart doesn't beat really fast
Like mine does,
Even though it'll never last.
...

If only I could
Say all the things I should
Then I will,
And leave you with the pill.
...

Teach me,
Assume all my thoughts are unclean
And you have all my attention
Is there a manual to follow?
Or words to borrow?
I need your instruction
'cause now I have a box
Full of things I wanna say
But always tomorrow,  never today
I pray I'll be brave,
before I reach my grave.
...

If only I could
Say the things I really mean,
And **** the things that'll never be
And just be me?
...

Show me,
The expression of things in my heart
And how to stop this free-flow of shooting darts
And tell me I'm not mad
For as I lay here,  it all seems hard
And now I'm sad
Please help me,  I cry out
Please show me,  I need a way out
...

If only I could
Share with you, matters of the heart
Then I will tell you what I should
That love for you fills this once empty heart.
...

If only I could,
I'd just say: I love you.

© 2018 Busola S. Kolade

I was hungry
You fed me not
So I drank a few glasses of water
Hoping it’ll curb my hunger
But that it did not
So I drank a few more
But I hunger still
My bladder full
But this pressing need
Has now made me your fool
So I beg you.

I lift up my head
And see nothing.

I close my eyes
And see all that can be

But, eyes wide open
I stepped in doubt
And sank myself.

Surrounded by darkness
Shadows after shadow
All in stealthy movements
Looking to devour the unknowing,
Cataracts of murky waters unfolding
To cultivate an abysmal knowledge of possession
Laying in wait

Surrounded by shadows
The unknowing gullible prey
Gallivanting in the coolness of the shadows
Traveling on unpaved roads
In company of the unseemly
Glorying in a flowery mask of gloomy interactions
A facade capturing the mind of a dunce

Sounds of laughter in triumph
Emanating from the shadows
A perfectly planned possession
With full-on persuasion
Fastidious dressing on a palatable decision
Congratulatory claps and smacks
At a job well done
Oblivious of an impending failure
Coated in a ray of light

The sun rays stands at attention
Catapulting its existence
Into the murky waters
Shooting its rays through a pinhole
With boundless powers
Seeking a limitless entrance
With the unknowing gullible prey at the door
Holding a key, in a game of indecision
Salivating over the promises in the shadows
And the fulfillment of lascivious desires

The sun awaits your attention
Banging at the door gently
With healthy promises
The high heavens can checker
With words spoken larger than life
Saturating every nook and cranny
With light, life and love
And a thundering presence
Annihilating every shadows is its path.

Doors open
A pinhole becoming a tearing limitless ****
The sun rays stretching forth
Inciting a dance with its panther like gait
Over-powering the sniveling shadows
Punctured deceptive walls left behind
Emptying shadows filled up with light
On its face a triumphant grin.

In the shadows
I opened the door to the light of the sun
I was the unknowing gullible prey,
Now, I AM THE SUN.

The sky burst open with rain
Thunder roaring and clapping
Loud sounds disguising my pain
The wind, howling
Loud and loud
My blood beats beneath my skin
The darkening shroud
Is now my twin
Shielding me from myself
The lightening in my brain
The broken windows of my mind
I might loose myself
In the sharp ache that fills my mind
Sheer madness that drives my brain
’till it goes away.

Weather and pain
Sun and rain
Hot and loud
’till it goes away.

The Monster
The shroud of darkness that clouds my mind,
The words I utter to the point of madness
My feelings escaping the emptiness of the mind
The white walls and drapes now so plain
As bright and sharp as the sun shines
My pain, so hard it drives
’till it goes away.

Weather and pain
Sun and rain
Hot and loud
’till goes away.

Look at me
Can you tell how I feel?
Do you see the pain inside me?
It shadows me
Almost drowning me
In its darkness
In its madness
Hot and loud one minute
Vengeful and deadly the next
Then just goes away
Leaving behind a trail
of sadness and regret.
My pain,
Just like the weather
Oh so loud,
’till it goes away.


© 2017 Busola S. Kolade.

The whistling wind blowing against our faces
The dry leaves, rushing to the ground
As if in a race
The now empty trees, dancing to an unknown tune.

The rush of the breeze
Sitting on the motorcycle
Chasing away the heat of the sun
I could almost sneeze.

Arms stretched wide
Eyes on the sky
Body floating with the dry leaves
The weightless pregnant air
To touch a drop of rain

The hallelujah stance
The waving dance
Like happy palms
Like flying leaves
Freedom we feel.

©2018 Busola S. Kolade.

Staring intensely at the screen
Yet, seeing nothing
Only the colors of my thoughts
As they fade into the past
Leaving emptiness in their wake.
Yet, this persistent fullness
Bursting at the seams of my mind
Fills up its over-crowded but empty rooms
With passion and words
And nothingness
Leaving my mind wildly blank
Yet,  expressionless with emotions...

Lips as red as wine
Sipping a glass of Merlot
Face in deep concentration
Separating the different ingredients
Brain wrapped in sweet smelling savour
Sip by sip
Glass after glass
Love in every drop.

This feeling I can't let go
My once empty belly, is now full
Full of love.

The sightless sight
Of a wounded soul
Captured in a rays of blinding darkness
All optical senses a quivering mess
Overshadowed by the pain of being
And of not

Loneliness grips at my heart
Tearing it up with unending tears
Enraptured by future unknown
And beautiful ones never to be had

Set me free!
That I may fill up this empty space
With the unacceptable
I must now accept as a part of me
And willful expressions
I must now acknowledge?

Oh ****!
All complications
The implications of our actions
Done or left undone
Knocking furiously
At the nearly visible doors of our mind

How pointless this must seem
Whatever will be will be
Live and let live.

It's been a while.
My pride,
It held me back
Filled me up with pretence
I don't need you, it said
But for you my heart bled
A longing so strong,
My pride almost fled

It has been a while.
My pride,
It grips so strong
Blocking my every part
Tearing my world apart
Stitches cannot mend
Happiness just around the bend
Beyond my very reach
A lesson in sheer will and motivation
My thoughts could teach

It’s been a while.
My pride,
You need to let go
Your protective cloak around me
Is now torn and falls around me
There is a new world out there
Where I won’t need to live in despair
My tender heart yearns
Gently but fervently
seeking a new beginning
A longing so strong
My pride fled.

Touch me
In the place of  heightened emotions.
Feel me,
See me,
Without a thought or care for opinions.
For here we both stand
Unclothed with burdensome words
In our freeflow of expressions.

The unguarded heartbeats of my heart
Enraptured by the sight of you,
Emotions pouring torrentially
From temple to our very depths
Evidenced by our dilated pupils
And shy gazes,
Time slowly ticking as you walk in.

Tender touches lingering at night
Eyes closed,
My wandering mind
Journeying to dark secret places
Where passion flows freely
Unrestricted emotions,
Expressions without judgment
Attending to our every needs
Our compatibility unquestionable

Lost in eachother,
We find ourselves
One to another
Without an end
A depthless hunger
Unleashing untamed emotions
Always at your arrival
Rendering speechless my soul
At the blink of your eyes

Satisfy me with your truth
And your touch
Flowing through me
Like liquid fire
Burning away any doubts
Capturing the oppulence that is my mind
Leaving me drenched in passion
Longing to never be free again.

Touch me.

I am in high spirits today
Idle playfulness and boredom
My constant friends
I have accepted into my days
While I try to forget
Everything wrong that I can’t make right
And on a high note,
I bask in this earth day
A great privilege I must say.

Staring at me
Looking into my soul
With eyes as white as snow
As blue as the skies
And as clear as glass
Searching to find my lost soul
In this empty shell
Once alive in art

The sights of the gods
Shall we worship?
Shall we start an ablution
Are we worthy?

The rush of inspiration awakens
The sightless sights of the gods
Orisha’s eyes!
•••

The scathing cables of the power lines
Transmitting in thunder and lightning
Scorching thoughts and expressions
Drenched in the cataclysmic downpour of emotions
Of affection,
And the opposite for you.

I wish you could see into my heart
The joy I feel
Like colours shooting darts
Like tripping on a banana peel
Falling into an endless world of colours
An explosion right here in my heart
My feelings, all in rainbow colours
My mouth laughing at jokes by K. Hart
Laughter!
Making my eyes shine brighter
...
"I must say,
Happiness is a wonderful colour,
On you, I see rainbows"  She says.
...
I wish you could look into my mind
The thoughts flying through
An endless flow of music
The incomprehensible joy
I can't help but smile
I close my eyes, and the music turn to colours
Unrestrained it floats through
Happy feelings bursting forth
The music that never stops
...
The brighter it becomes
My whole body,
Overcome by colours
As Happy as a Rainbow.

Throw me a lifeline
And I still won’t catch it...

They line the streets
And on every  corner
One "ailment" or the other
A family,  sometimes brother and sister.

Crying in a song
Singing with one voice
All covered up in fake injuries
Lamenting about past glories

They line the streets
Crowding every corner
Always a bother
Clinging to our knees
In their deliberately torn dresses

Keep them away from us
Stop them from touching us
With their deceptive illusions
Appealing to our emotions
With empathetic persuasions
And now our money is gone.

I caught a glimpse of those eyes
As I said goodbye
They were dark blue
With a hint of hue
There was no face
Just a mask covered in lace
What a beauty they are
Like gems they are.

To one, goodbye I said
To another my mind lead
Gone to the shadows of the room
Where the walls are covered in brooms
I followed
I followed
The mask lead me
Welcome again, they said to me
A face without the mask, I long to see
But all there was, a reminder of the sea
I followed
I followed

Moving, turning
From corner to corner
Till the mask stopped
So sudden, my heart dropped
Then the mask said to me
Why do you pursue me?
The pleasure of satisfaction, I long for
A beauty to treasure, like never before

I saw a sparkle
Eyes a shining marble
Hands trembling
Feet shuffling
As I drew nearer
That I may see clearer
The face covered in a mask of lace

Take off the mask I must
To see a face I long for, I trust
Ahead lay my task
To set free a face
Trapped in the mask
A mask covered in lace.


© 2016 Busola S. Kolade

Overcome with grief
But with unhushed tears
I dare not weep.
But the gullibility I see
Makes my heart roar like an angry sea
At the Stupendous actions praised
On high a single minded chameleon raised
We have all failed
And our "knowledge", a waste

At night they lay asleep
With sweet dreams on empty promises
In support of a wolf
Indeed covered in roses
I  am of the grass root, he poses
Of his evil deeds, he brags
Down south, his followers, he drags
And on the way down with smiles
And laughter eating rice with chameleon shell topping
They are all asleep.

When will our youths see visions?
Sometime soon I hope
Because it seems the old dreamers are on a mission
To enslave us all with gold plated ropes.

I have seen countless bridges
In multiple nations
And they were built out of necessity
And not stupidity
A waste of our very limited resources
In fact a direct and open robbery of our future
Yet we sit in silence
Our bellies filled with rice and the warmth of a friendly chameleon
With no direction, productivity or creativity
All our natural resources lay in waste.


We need to change our mind set
If we must save ourselves
From the single minded chameleons
Whose goal is self enrichment
And wealth procurement.
We must be weary of those who feed us rice
And rob our children of a promising future
Oh,  What a price.

I want to watch as the cobwebs clears from their eyes
The awakening of a new dawn
A people on a mission
To overcome this impending destruction
Through their devotion
To the correction
Of our direction.

We must empower ourselves
We must stand together
For there is power in unity
And failure in division
We can't continue to live in foolishness
By indulging the chameleon's greediness
And enduring his insults in silence.

If there is a time to rise up in unity
It is now
If there is a time to do the needful
It is now
Sleep and slumber no more
For that is for fools


I'm nobody's fool...


© 2018 Busola S. Kolade

Careless with their lives
They slog in infested slimy waters
In rubber shoes covered in holes
Merging bodies with all the inhabitants of the world beneath their feet
They trudge on

They’re deceptive
Picking up dirts to throw it back in
In those times they’re not seen
Or so they believe

They’ve reduced themselves
To the dirt they feed themselves
And they care not
Their pores clogged with infested slimy waters

Exhibiting animalistic behaviors
They’ve now become barbarians
“Buy us water”,
They cry together.
He who is living a deceptive life
Trudging around in the slimy waters
A place no one has sent them

They feed themselves with those slimy hands?
It’s no wonder their mate died
I stamp my feet in anger!
Arrrrrrrg!
Do they not see the danger?

I do not feel pity for them
Their state of being
Though perplexing it seems
They chose this.
Their families I weep for
Bodies coated with infested slimy waters
They go home.