I don’t know what to do anymore.
I've been running all my life.
Not even once did they catch up.
But the end of my time is near.


I can feel their presence.
Sneaking from corner to corner.
Hiding in the deepest space of darkness.
For only the blind eye to see.

Turning around after the light.
Seeing shadows in the corner of my eye.
I always keep repeating the same mistake.
I’m forever trying to escape.


They held my hand through tough times.
They would be there for me.
But now they left me like everyone else.
They did it because of my bad habit.


Watching me in dark times.
Hitting me till I can’t stop bleeding.
I hate them, but they love me.
I could never understand it.


I always tell the truth.
That’s why it’s me getting left behind.
Like a piece of rotten flesh.
No one would ever come near me.


I could fall deep down into isolation.
For only my body to wither.
Bones sticking out from my skin.
Laying in my own tears, regretting it all.


My heart would slowly crack and turn my eyes to ice.
Turn my blood to nothing.
They told me to take care of their friends.
They forced themselves into my life.


I could never understand what all these things were.
I was drowning in them.
Felt like a new person after the party.
A Party Of Emotions.

Going to the same place.
Staying there for a long time.
Waiting for you to come by.
And place your body besides mine.


I would talk to myself.
Imagine it’s with you.
Placing my hand where your’s always were.
Not together anymore like we used to.


Still waiting for your warmth.
Making my whole body melt before your eyes.
You would whisper in my ear “I’ll stay”.
Hugging me until the sun would rise.


I don’t know how long since I’ve seen you.
With my hands playing with your hair.
Telling each other things none ever have heard.
The precious times we would share.


The bell inside my head rang.
Reminding me of your sorrowful fate.
I stared into the ground.
I knew I couldn’t just stand and wait.


I ran while calling your name.
The tears blurred my vision to see.
I fell.
Deep down the Memories of you and me.

I see things no one else do or even could.
I hear them too, whispering in my ear.
They’re haunting me in even my dreams.
But the one vision would never appear.


Eyelids closed, blocking off everything.
It’s a part of my life, my body, my mind.
Still I never even noticed it.
It was making me more and more blind.


One day I woke up, it was dark and freezing.
I got overwhelmed with a beautiful flashback.
It gave me the ability to see.
To see the blackest black.

It were a lie.
I could see your lips forming the words.
Before you would let them go into my ears.
It were a disgusting sound from a wonderful person.


I acted like I didn’t hear that gross lie.
Instead I heard the voices inside your mind.
Telling me everything about you, your past and future.
They gave me a vision of my future with you.


I was lying on the floor, black blood everywhere.
It wasn’t my blood, but your’s.
Sneaking in my veins, of my precious red blood.
I felt like you, I thought like you… I died like you.


I hated that lie you told me.
“I would never harm you, ever.”
It traveled around my brain, into the deepest places.
For it to stay and holding me awake.


My ocean of thoughts.
My sea of tears.
My pools of blood.
My grave of fireflies.


I died by your hands.
By your feet.
In your blood.
In your mind.

Into my ears.
Out of my mouth.
Listening.
Telling.


Into my eyes.
Inside my mind.
Seeing.
Keeping.


In my hands.
Under my feet
Taking.
Crushing.


Locked faces.
Open scars.
People.
Hurting.


Things they do
Thing I do
Remembering
Fooling


I know them.
I can use them.
Those.
***** Little Secrets.

I use the word* “love” *as a drug for my emptiness inside.

When you’re about to break down.
And your heart is scattered.
The tears won’t even come out.
And feel too lonely to even care anymore.


It was too late to change.
All the little time we shared.
I regret everything and every single detail.
I hate you, but that’s not my true feelings.


It was your mistake.
But also mine, because I let you in my life.
It’s my fault for not seeing your true side.
It ended up hurting me.


I won’t ever look at your disgusting face.
But I want to see your smile that would fix everything.
Thinking about everything.
I can’t stop wanting to see you, I need you


When you can't even speak normally like always.
You need to look away and change the subject.
I was shy, but maybe too open minded.
But my feelings has now broken down.


It’s time to part ways and look forward.
Maybe we’ll see eachother again, as strangers.
And not thinking back on the past.
Still I wish we hadn't met at all.

I won’t notice the lies.
But I don’t even know the truth.
Between your so violent behavior.
That you forgot who you are.


I won’t ask you to change.
Only you can ask yourself and do it.
But you’ll might lose me before it ends.
Or I’ll might lose you forever.


Show me the love you gave me at first.
Your soft and enjoyable side.
With laughs everyday and smiles.
I thought that this would never change.


I wanted you to notice the harm you’ve done to me.
I wanted you to remember our first love.
This isn’t love anymore, it’ll never be like that again.
You showed me everything about you.


The lovable side, and soft side. I loved you.
The playful side, and wild side. I liked you.
The cold side, and mean side. I stayed.
The violent side, and evil side. I was only there.


You pretended, to love me and not to hurt me.
I pretended, to care.
All those personalities of you.
Were sides of you that never existed.

Time* *stood still.
Death has already been here.
Forever *nothing.

I smile when you smile.❤
I laugh when you laugh.☀
I go when you go. - - -
I die when you abandon me.*✖