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May 2022 · 263
Rally
Growly Wolfus May 2022
Rally of faces gathered in groups
build a large crowd crying for truth
shields of black night forming a wall
blocking the protest from getting through

Smokey haze of poisonous gas
tossed from above where the bright white cast
soldiers march in with gun and knife
darkness protected guarding its mask

Meaning lost, forgotten in pain
arrests and murders let free to take place
a movement disbanded by merciless force
and invalidated by terrible names

"Terrorists and bigots all who align!"
none to believe it true, but all remain afraid
of the government's arm to silence questions
and the wrath of unforgiving puppets

The Revolution is coming
pay wound with war
enough to join us
and tyranny will fall
Apr 2022 · 933
Parcel of Life
Growly Wolfus Apr 2022
A parcel of life
wrapped in a red bow
lifted by the good
and left in our hands
how do you handle
the unwieldy gift?
And is it to be
opened where you stand?

Miracles will come
most unexpected
always unknown and
loved in their splendor
So how should i feel
when you hand me this?
A bouquet for one
naming me center
of your world
Mar 2022 · 210
Spring
Growly Wolfus Mar 2022
The robin sings its golden hymn,
the turtledove its coo.
While 'neath the spring of wet and damp
does life return anew.

The grass turns green, the snow to rain.
The trees bow to the sun.
As leaves sprout from their mighty boughs
where dewdrops drip and run.

Oh, how the old forgotten rot,
the sting of winter's wrath,
all melts away and heals in heat
as deer soon shed their racks.

A world rebirth so fondly sought
lest snows return again.
We seek the flower of new spring,
sweet solace such to send.
Feb 2022 · 186
Headstone
Growly Wolfus Feb 2022
They say that you died peacefully.
I can only hope that was the case.
I wasn’t there when you needed me.
For six years, I haven't seen you face.

We had our good times and bad.
I choose a pink rock like the salmon you caught
after tearing me away from my dad.

You were there for me when he passed.
Some think that you knew all along.
The disease that he had given him by his dad
Was the same one he passed onto me.

You were there when they gave me the news.
How I'd never have children again.
Then, I was shipped overseas
for a job with little pay in the end.

It was my wife that called me,
my little boy that found you in the yard.
As I strike your name into this headstone
it finally hit me that you're gone.
Love you, Freddie
You were the best dog I could've asked for.
Jan 2022 · 176
Fables
Growly Wolfus Jan 2022
"You can do anything you set your mind to."

What if you lost it along the way?
Is this just another fable I fell for,
a lie I've been told, or something more?
Does it ring true?
And if I've lost my mind,
then how do I know
I really love you?
Dec 2021 · 285
Wasp Haiku
Growly Wolfus Dec 2021
Imagine a wasp
With no stinger, no threat
Would you still hate them?
Nov 2021 · 289
Nothing
Growly Wolfus Nov 2021
'
























































'
What am I?
Nov 2021 · 162
Figure Eights
Growly Wolfus Nov 2021
I used to be one, alpha and alone.
Then I met another and we became two.

A second pair of ones made us group to four.
Separate couples in love conjoined by the door.

I thought, "Yes, perfection resting in one place.
No single forsaken. No odd to replace."
And with the others I began to relate.
Between all my lovers, dancing figure eights.

Confusion was nowhere until one had left.
Disbanding impending, loneliness beset.

For what was I if not dependent on others?
And what was love if not so fragile to shatter?

An odd now, our pairs gone. Back to times once far past.
I should have known dancing figure eights would not last.

Creation, division, subtraction, addition.
Another number reluctant to submission
in hiding behind all these makeshift partitions
preventing us from making our own decisions.

I cast off my labels. I am not a one
because people are people and love is still love.

Whether odd or even, whether large or small,
partners will always forget about it all.

They care for the person and not for the name
which makes it my fault that they left all the same.
I'll still dance with numbers and laugh at their games,
but when sadness takes over, I'm the one to blame.

I'm not number but a person, a fraud,
and love is something of which I was never taught.
Oct 2021 · 133
White
Growly Wolfus Oct 2021
What is white?
The amalgamation of all color
combined into a pure beam of light
not turned a muddy brown

And how is this true?
A storm of emotions not resulting in chaos
but in order through
a single shade

White like the snow
White like bones
pure as holy
fair as just
What is white?

There is no real white
no truth, no right
All stained by some other color
because even the most beautiful, wonderful things
have a shadow
Sep 2021 · 156
The rain fell like snow
Growly Wolfus Sep 2021
The rain fell like snow
A mist above the ground
Gentle as the flakes of winter
Warm as the last days of summer
echoing whispers of birdsong
permeating the air

What was it called again?
That quiet strength it brings
right the wrongs of yesterday
calico thoughts turned to grey
remember the happiness I once had
and form another memory
Aug 2021 · 747
Intoxicated
Growly Wolfus Aug 2021
Hand me a tall glass
of a swooning potion
bubbles rising to the top
and the foam in motion
as I sway back in forth
my cheeks marked with red blush
uncontrolled laughter
and careless touch

Does the world really spin
as fast as it does?
And does alcohol help us to see it?
Are these just
intoxicated shower thoughts?
Am I conscious enough to believe it?

Everyone's dancing
while I'm standing still
or is everything backwards
no one really knows
swonk yllaer eno on
or do they?
like a tainted echo
of what's really going on.
But I don't know what's happening
so does that really matter?
Do we matter?
What matters?
Who cares besides ourselves what happens?
Is that a paradox?
Will the world explode?
What have I done?
Oh well :1
all that matters now is

Sleeeeep
Jun 2021 · 144
Take What You Will
Growly Wolfus Jun 2021
Does the sun ever smile upon a shaded mind
so deep in the darkness no light has touched it?
No one really knows for no one yet has tried
to expose the unknown and blindly trust its words
with fervent hope the solution would be found.

Take what you will from things to be said.
Lies and truths are still spoken the same.
For language is our limit and inkwell and pen,
creativity bound to pages, immortalized.
Expression should bear no restraints.
Jun 2021 · 211
come back
Growly Wolfus Jun 2021
The stars will never shine so bright
as your smile once did
nor the air feel so warm as your breath.
My home will never be as secure
as your embrace made me feel
nor my bed so comforting as your touch.

Please ...
                  I'm begging you ...

                               come back to me ......
May 2021 · 248
Why do you lie?
Growly Wolfus May 2021
what eyes perceive,
what words deceive,
what death bestows upon us.
Ungrateful lot,
forgotten not,
but by the ropes that bind us.

Chained by hopes,
trapped in dreams,
and your toxic smile
promising
I'd be happy too
but never coming true.
Mar 2021 · 138
Power of a King
Growly Wolfus Mar 2021
Oh, burdens of burdens, oh, torturing guilt
I ask that you leave me, please free me from pain
A life of fraudulence from deception built
Now caught in my lies, losing sense of the sane

And dwindling, dwindling, hope stole away
Forgotten, forsaken, in darkness of night
Until when the morning broke warmth never came
Nor ounce of sought comfort from cascading light

A castle of paper, a fortress of sand
So gallant and noble when still it remained
But clouds would pay homage by quenching the land
And soon did my kingdom fall due to the rain

For my words, beguiling, brought Zeus to this plane
The Construct of Time in the palm of his hand
With greed and with envy I thieved all the same
And took from the thunder god reign o’er the ******

But power over life was not his to give
And nor was it mine but my ego it fed
delusions of control, anxieties hid
Beckoning the wrath of the god of the dead

By storm and disease did my kingdom collapse
Because of my avarice, hopes and conceit
The keys to the heavens taken from my grasp
And peoples left corpses from my own defeat

Illusions, such beauty of things from the past
Confine me and curse me for what I have done
And trapped within my mind the memories passed
Until all that was left was little to none
Feb 2021 · 171
a soft breath
Growly Wolfus Feb 2021
There is no spring in my step
nor smile in my heart
just a shell of what i could've been
now empty of all hope

An echo of fond memories
stripped of all their warmth
frozen between the strands of time
held captive by the truth

And in these thoughts, i'm drowning
forsaken, alone
Learning happiness is fragile
as fickle as the wind
Jan 2021 · 473
Colorless Life
Growly Wolfus Jan 2021
As color blended into one,
a mundane shade be found,
a portal spawned spontaneously
leading to a new plane.
And never did time change there
nor move within this world
the sky of faded grey,
the stars, the only twinkling light.

A forest of decay
swamped by growth of moss and vine,
submerged in icy water
as frost clung to its breath.
Though this land, forsaken,
seemed fraught with death and doom,
life occurred in a minor fashion
within the colorless realm.

While 'neath the frost and damp of night
there lived a silent song,
echoes of past lives calling
to those who deigned to hear.
As predators hunt prey,
the voices captured light
and sprouted glowing blossoms
to entrance all that could see.

And below the undergrowth, hiding,
were creatures small and quick;
the only source of color
under the diseased trees.
They darted past each other
to nests in fungi abodes,
dragging with them the petals
of starlight wrapped in leaves.

A rainbow formed in dew drops
and glittered in the sap
of the life-giving waters
still streaming from the trees.
And waiting near the borders
were creatures of tooth and claw,
searching for their next meal
between the growing thorns.

This colorless life
existed silently,
a singular occurrence
within the achromatic world.
But still, there was a hope
and a flicker of a flame
that soon color would bathe
the land in brilliant shades.
Dec 2020 · 114
Hinterland
Growly Wolfus Dec 2020
Cold and shallow shadows
blowing across the snow
in every hope of finding
the world they used to know,
they grab us as we pass them
and draw us toward the dark,
begging for us to save them
from the misery they hold.

They've stolen many a soul,
now trapped within the trees.
The forest's labored breathing
the only proof of the deceased.
The icicles that rattle
as mediums for their songs
of woe and fearsome hatred
doomed to never cease.

When you were taken by them,
disappearing like the rest,
I vowed that I would find you
and free you from their nest.
Were it the frozen wasteland
or the jaws of death itself,
I'd fear not its making
and traverse it nonetheless.

I knew I'd never find you
but I searched each day and night
until the days stopped rising
as the trees swallowed the light.
And in this hinterland hiding
the love to which I'm bound,
I came to accept my passing
as proof of what I found.

Then in the forest shadows
I saw the massive tree
with roots and vines like chains
to hold down what was once free.
A withered, massive birdcage.
An angel nestled inside.
The light dimly glowing
from where the fallen bird did hide.

The angel glanced out coldly
with pitch-black eyes and hair.
Surrounded by death and beauty
was this maiden so fair.
A flower so fragile
within this world of pain.
The captive of the forest,
cast out by pride and shame.

She ne'er woke from her trance,
trapped in this desolate place,
tortured like all the others
within the forest maze.
The only light descending
upon the sullied ground.
The next queen of the forest
and to its cycle bound.
Nov 2020 · 102
Proof of Life
Growly Wolfus Nov 2020
I bid you farewell
though forever it may seem
a thousand years in seconds
as you anxiously watch the clock
And time will keep on moving
just slower to our gaze
a spinning broken record
a time capsule to be bought

How stoic a reminder
of all that we may be
chimes of a bygone era
set in our memories
Returning to it never
though that be the silent hope
but time is unforgiving
as we sit in reverie

Our questions go unanswered
our wishes and our dreams
decaying and forgotten
as we trample on them still
in the senseless hope of finding
the very thing we broke
the hearts of all around us
our thirst for pain fulfilled

And though I say goodbye
as broken as I am
a mere reflection of the truth
in the shattered mirror of life
I welcome all this chaos
and cherish all the pain
because deep down I know
it's proof that I'm alive
I say goodbye not because I'm leaving nor for the fact we don't talk, but for the selfish hope that if I say it now, the sooner I'll see you again.
Nov 2020 · 126
Calm In the Storm
Growly Wolfus Nov 2020
The thunder clouds roll o'er the hills
Their stunning beauty gives me chills
Sky horses in stampede
Afraid of what these awesome creatures
bring unto this world of sorrows
wondering where they'll lead

But when life brings bad weather
I carry my umbrella
and hold it upside down
to catch the rain between the sunshine
to gaze upon it in the moonlight
grateful for what I found

I saw the grace within the lightning
and realized it wasn't so frightening
breathing the calm of the storm
While chaos spun around its fantasy
I witnessed true nature's majesty
and watched the butterflies swarm

Dancing silhouettes in sunlight
dazzling dewdrops of flowery white
pristine beauty I never thought I'd see
Happiness flows like a river
endless stream stretching forever
the first time I've ever felt so free
the world is a little crazy right now

we all need to take a deep breath and breathe
Oct 2020 · 480
Lily Pads
Growly Wolfus Oct 2020
The frog croaked softly
amid the morning mist
His breath hung in the air
puffs of October's fall
The birds chirped in splendor
as the frost captured their song
holding notes in suspension
until others returned the call


And on the water, lily pads
floated past in a gentle breeze
the size of china saucers
we'd use whilst sipping tea
a bridge of small proportions
the hopscotch game of life
a crossing from our world to theirs
under the crimson leaves

Birds came to watch with envy
atop their crooked perch
Bugs skated to and fro
across the liquid glass
The dandelion dancers
drifted above the pool
and stood on lily pad ferries
where the bullfrogs had sat

The forest was a portrait
by Van Gogh and Claude Monet
A storm of autumn colors
the lily pads ablaze
A stillness to be broken
beneath the sun's warm smile
The tranquil winds kept blowing
the fire sparked by our gaze

The music of the angels
disguised by amber leaves
amidst the forest wildfire
ne'er to melt the morning frost
And people pass, indifferently
the beauty that was there
as none but I did witness
the life this fall had brought
Sep 2020 · 86
Temptations
Growly Wolfus Sep 2020
A single word entered my mind
and exited with ease,
but behind it lay a trail of blood
streaking the muddied ground.
It led into the dark abyss
that ne'er been touched by light,
for the eclipse of a new moon
watched the silent and endless night.
I held my lantern higher still
to pass the foggy way,
suppressing my fears with every step
beside the glowing flame.
And in the brewing clouds above,
contorted faces screamed.
They howled and wailed in hopeless song,
demanding to be freed,
but their cries were never to be heard
and fell upon deaf ears,
and once aware, they wept and sobbed,
watering the forest with their tears.
The trees hadn't a need for rain;
they were already dead,
so it pooled along the path I strode
where the blood had once led.
In the darkness, glowing eyes
studied the earth where I had stepped
and whispered foul expressions;
things I shall never forget.

I clutched the lantern tighter,
but the flame was almost out.
It flickered before being swallowed
by the unforgiving gloom.
Then from the shadows echoed the word
between the crooked stone,
and with it a flurry of voices
of the people I had known.
The screeching wind--with its sharp fangs--
whipped me until I knelt
and cowered in horror,
hiding the pain I felt.
These waking dreams tormented me
but offered me a deal.
Continuous temptations made me think,
"this isn't real."
Were it not for this thought,
but in my other ear,
the devil whispered to me
exactly what I wanted to hear,
I would be gone.  But the promise of light
compelled me to open my eyes,
and the wind had blinded me
from seeing the demon's lies.
The temptations were too strong,
and the devil led me away.
Death still lingers o'er the forest
that shall never see the day.
Aug 2020 · 90
Wrong Answer
Growly Wolfus Aug 2020
I garnered the strength
To ask thou how thee felt
Inquire as to what it’d take
For thou to love me as myself
But it was never meant to be
And so I rested and remained
in a perpetual state of melancholy.
The feeling thou hadst feigned
sufficient to say, I thought not.
Many years I waited and prepared
to bravely ask thou for the answer I got
with my heart’s true contents bared.

To figure things to be this way
No one had ever thought.
Thou threw my thoughts in disarray
all actions made for naught.
And into the sun's fire, I gazed
As the day's end drew nigh.
No hopes or dreams left to be saved
Nor stars in darkened sky.
Jul 2020 · 144
Tree of Withering
Growly Wolfus Jul 2020
I enter the woods of my childhood days
Green leaves form a canopy above me and blot the sky
Saplings and ferns spring from the ground
and critters scatter into the undergrowth as I pass by

The farther in I travel, the darker it gets
The mingling leaves smother the light
a deer glances my way
its eyes drooping and no longer bright
Its cadaverous form limps away
Hidden by the mortifying flowers from my sight

The forest I had known turns grey with fog
the plants die with a gasp of breath
The trees holding up the sky
stand crooked, rotting like the rest
While all the critters disappeared
until their corpses line my path

Reluctantly, I continue along this sadly familiar path
until I stumble upon a clearing where in the center is a tree
Mushrooms mark as stepping stones and surround the base
of its massive trunk and branches suspended between
the balance of life and death, neither dead nor alive.
The infamous tree of withering
And from its boughs hangs a woven noose
in its loop a human . . .
                                                     . . . me.
Jun 2020 · 117
Summer Rain
Growly Wolfus Jun 2020
I love the summer rain
like how I love the earth
The sound when it comes down
and when it hits the ground
The soft rumble of thunder
that echoes through the clouds
The darkness that it brings
A temporary night
with lightning as the stars
and fireflies blinking bright

The mist cascading over
the forests and the fields
The raindrops' pitter-patter
leaves ringing in my ears
And with the distant rumble
and gasping of the clouds
sunlight breaks the storm
and faintly paints in gold

And in the rhythmic song
the raindrops sing to me
the warmth the soft wind
brushes through the swaying trees
I remember peace
and what it truly is
Peace is the summer rain
euphoria amidst
Jun 2020 · 109
Goodbye
Growly Wolfus Jun 2020
Such cruel words to say
to someone you love

Not "See you later"
or "I'll miss you"

But "Goodbye."
Jun 2020 · 312
Exhaustion
Growly Wolfus Jun 2020
I step out of bed each day
and collapse upon the floor.
Why I pick myself up and how
are a mystery every morning.

Like someone whispering,
"Don't give up yet.  You still have hope.
And hope is the light that will guide you home."
So I keep moving, keep breathing,
keep loving, keep failing.
But I keep living.

And every morning
when I'm tired of this life,
ripped to shreds and worn to the bone,
I hear a voice that reminds me,
weary I may be,
I know that when I fall
someone will catch me,
even if it is the ground.
I thank God for my guardian angel and those who help me continue on.
Jun 2020 · 185
Silent Prayer
Growly Wolfus Jun 2020
The rain fell hard that day,
that day carved in my soul.
And not from anger did I cry,
nor happiness, nor woe.
I cried from pure acceptance
and the storm supplied my tears.
You're never coming back
You've reached the end of your years.

I grabbed the earth on which I knelt
and said a silent prayer.
I'll try to get to heaven,
so please, wait for me there.
This iniquitous demon
you pulled out from the mud
is trying hard to live
while you watch from above.

So wait just a little longer
as I try to save my soul.
I know I'm growing stronger,
not stuck in the muck below.
You are my saint and angel
so protect me in the night.
Help me with my demons
and take me to the light.
May 2020 · 100
Fools
Growly Wolfus May 2020
they said only a fool
would fall in love with her
I guess that's what I am
May 2020 · 102
Indecisive Nature
Growly Wolfus May 2020
What is this feeling of emptiness I carry?
It isn't depression for I am not sad.
I see myself as perfect the way I was created.
Nothing wrong with my body; I was born with it.
Nothing dull in my mind; I strive to keep it sharp.
Confidence and esteem are not the issues.
But I'm still lacking something as essential as breathing.
Whatever could it be?

I live in a house enshrouded by love.
Never has a problem arisen in my midst.
At least, not one I haven't solved
or accepted to be unsolvable.
Then what is this sensation and loss of motivation?
It might just be my indecisive nature.
Too relaxed.  Agreeing with both sides.
It's not that I don't care, it's just that I have no preference.

Reading blank pages in a book.
It's almost as good as the movie last night.
But living in a glass house isn't as fun as it seems.
Besides, humans are flawed by design.
Eventually, it will all shatter.
Who will be left to clean up the fragments?
I want to be the one, to stain the floor with my blood
as the shards penetrate my soul and tear me apart.

Maybe then, I finally get an answer
to the question I call into the dark.
Instead of the mocking echo of my words,
you'll tell me what is wrong.
I know something is missing so don't lie to me.
I understand what I am, the emotionless monster I've become,
but I'm telling you, that isn't the problem.
I'm tired of being told I'm loved.  Will somebody please hate me?
People think my life is perfect.  I hate how they look at me like they want to be me.  Look in a mirror.  You're perfect in your own way.  I want to be in your shoes and experience pain.  True pain.  Not the artificial kind I create for myself.

I keep getting trapped in my thoughts and wonder if it's wise to share them.
Apr 2020 · 587
Flower of Death
Growly Wolfus Apr 2020
Blossoms growing
in earnest spring.
Leaves in meadows,
winds that sing.
Birds call out
with tranquil breath
as I lie still
in flowers of death.
In sunbathed glory,
creatures bask.
And I with them
without my mask.

The only place
where I can go,
be understood
for what I know
is here,
the place of broken dreams.
The graveyard
where you once met me.
You saw without
society's
disguise for ones
like you and me.
But you grew up
deprived of truth,
the one I found
while in my youth.

I handed you
a flower and smiled.
You said,
"Beautiful as always, child."
But you still couldn't
understand
why I stayed in
forsaken land.
You went your way
and I went mine.
You couldn't see
beauty divine.
You still cry every time
you come.
You know nothing
of what I've done.

There's nothing here,
so pass on by.
Ignore my life
until I die,
and then you'll say
those lies and thoughts.
"I loved you."
Yet, here I will rot
until that fateful
day draws near,
and you come home
to greet me here.
The people come
and speak their minds.
"You meant so much."
"You were so kind."

They talk from their
experience.
Wait some time
and forget your death.
The sadness you have
won't subside
from your regrets
before you died.
Feel the emptiness
fill your bones.
Then I will sit
by your gravestone
and say to you
the truth I know.
"I'm dead inside,
like you below."
I wrote this from another story I did.  It's summarized within these lines.

"Sweet child, you are a flower of death."
Apr 2020 · 93
Remember
Growly Wolfus Apr 2020
Don't look at me that way
not with those blank eyes
empty of all emotion.
Why can't you recall
what happened to us?
The love that we had has been stolen.

Remember where we met
and never forget
the things that you thought that were yours.
When we'd count the stars,
the home that was ours,
All the things that I love you for.

Please, wake up!
Arise from this spell
of doom cast upon your frail frame.
Remember.  Remember!
Remember it all!
Or things'll never return to being the same.

In this hospital room where the old people go
Don't look at me like you don't know
and that all your memory is gone.
Smile at me once more.
We can go back to the way it was before.
Don't leave me here and pass on.

Remember.  Remember!
Please, God!  I beg of thee!
Please, don't take her away!  Don't take her from me!
I'll do anything.
Please, she doesn't deserve this.
Don't let death befall one of your angels.  Please!

I'll take her place,
walk through Hell's gates.
Just leave this innocent one here to be forgiven.
No, God!  Don't do this.
She doesn't deserve it.
Please go back on your decision.

I love her,
and it's all my fault.
I'm sorry for what I've done.
Please don't die.
Oh God, don't die.
Please tell me, God, what has she done?

Why must you take her away?
Why must she pay for my sins?
if poems are about feelings, I wish you would write one for me

I loved you
Apr 2020 · 129
Tears
Growly Wolfus Apr 2020
What are these droplets upon my face?
Tears?  No.
I call them weakness.
I have that kind of mentality.
Mar 2020 · 105
If Breathing Was an Option
Growly Wolfus Mar 2020
If breathing was an option,
would people breathe at all?
If it was still necessary to function,
how many would learn the skill?

If breathing was an option
like some part of a game
that we could turn on and off,
would we remain the same?

If breathing was an option,
who would choose to turn it on?
The better question would be how;
perhaps if oxygen was gone.

I'm making an assumption
although it may not be true,
but if breathing was an option,
I think I'd turn it off.
Mar 2020 · 170
The Hunt (Part Three)
Growly Wolfus Mar 2020
Thy wretched heart be gripped with guilt and pain,
for thou dost not deservest blissful life.
Thine enemies and fears shalt be thy bane
and sendest thee where Satan's demons thrive.
Thou worry not and quash thy thoughts and qualms
with drinks and girls from bars and brothels near.
But for Lord Jesus Christ, they laid down palms
before evil Lucifer didst appear.
So for thee, I now set a fatal trap
in confidence and hopeful, vengeful dream.
I huntest the game I know I will catch,
and conceal myself well lest I be seen.
Preparest thyself for soon unto thee,
I bringest to thou death eternally.

Abhorrent scoundrel!  Wicked man!  Malicious, ghastly beast!
A savage, an iniquitous demon that I hast slain.
Thy blood is shed and thy final vile breath hast been released.
Burn for thy sins!  Behold, I hast paid thee back for my pain.
Mar 2020 · 266
The Hunt (Part Two)
Growly Wolfus Mar 2020
I plant the last cross in the frosted ground
of winter marching through the leaves of fall.
The last of my coterie I hadst found
I buried, each covered with a singed pall.
Now in the world of cold, I lie in snow,
mourning the loss of everything I was.
Insanity exuding from my woe
and dreadful curses spouting from my jaws.
Thou art a monster corrupting the world
and spreading dreadful lies of the deeds done.
But soon, behold, the truth to be unfurled!
The news spreadest thee from thy serpent's tongue.
I choosest to complete my final hunt
and punish thee for such a great affront.

Thou hearken not to the grave steps upon the earth now beating.
Dost thou not see, contemptuous fiend, the eyes of death upon thee?
Thou takest from the living world the reason for my being.
And by thy hand, destroy my land, stealest everything from me.
Mar 2020 · 263
The Hunt (Part One)
Growly Wolfus Mar 2020
Another night smotherest sun and day.
We playest cards for fun by candlelight.
Henceforth shalt it remain to be this way,
to never be plagued by another's plight.
I goest by the moon and stars for sport,
a hunt in wood during the darkest hour.
My greatest loyal friend protects my court,
my love sleeps soundly in the safest tower.
When I returnest on steed whence I came,
I see the smoke and rush back to my home.
My castle is consumed by growing flame;
my love hangs limply from the reddened stone.
My friend, no more, thou gaze upon it all
as the spark of fire and my dukedom's fall.

Thou dolt!  Buffoon!  Barbaric fool!  Thou hast betrayed my trust.
I stagger through the sundered stone in rooms where we'd imbibe
and cry upon the sullied ground 'midst things that hadst combust.
Enraged, I screamest in my home surrounded by thy lies.
A twist on Shakespearean sonnets with a rhyming storyline and some different cadence.  There's more to come!
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3745500/the-hunt-part-two/
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3745505/the-hunt-part-three/
Feb 2020 · 133
Family
Growly Wolfus Feb 2020
My brother slammed the door shut,
banishing the bitter winds outside
from intruding upon our solitude.
Living on our own wasn't as hard as we'd thought it'd be.
"You're back late," I remarked from my seat on the couch.
He ignored me in his sour mood.
I decided to head to bed.
I fulfilled the promise we had made to each other,
to look out for one another
as sister and brother.
The shower ran for a while,
but eventually, I heard him creak up the steps
and took comfort in the fact
that tonight, he came home.

Early the next morning,
in the darkness of dawn,
I stumbled down the stairs to clean up for the day.
I turned on the TV and watched the news.
Another ****** occurred in the area.
I'm convinced it's a demon with unbiased prey.
The channel rolls on.
A car similar to ours was abandoned on the scene.
What was I seeing?
I was just exhausted for the time being.
It must be from the little sleep I got.
He would've never driven so recklessly
and leave the car behind,
only to walk all the way home.

The coffee I had started wasn't finished,
and the casserole I was baking wouldn't be done in time.
I decided to take a shower to clear my head.
I opened the bathroom door, closed for an odd reason,
for we never shut the door,
and was greeted by a scene of red.
The marble sink covered in the handprints of blood.
The white, tiled walls stained and spotted.
A stench rising from the clothes that laid on the floor, knotted,
and in the shower, streaks of red on the bottom.
I covered my mouth in an attempt to stop the scream
coming from the fear boiling inside of me.
Tears streamed from my face.
What did my brother do when he got home?

I took a step back
into my brother's arms.
He pushed me into the cursed room
and jammed the door shut so I couldn't escape.
I fell into the shower, into the pool of dyed water,
and cried from the anticipation of my impending doom.
What was that look in his eyes?
The very thing of which I was so afraid,
looming in the shade
of his humanity's fade?
When had he strayed so far away
and became that way
to allow the devil to reside in his heart?
What had he let into our home?

A few days passed.  I drank from the shower
and rationed what was left of the toothpaste
until one day, my mind snapped.
I couldn't stand remaining in this torturous space
scarred by the blood of someone else.
I no longer wished to be trapped.
I slammed into the door, once, twice,
and the third try it opened,
slightly broken,
and crashed against the wall before closing.
My brother was nowhere to be found,
yet his room, forbidden, was locked somehow.
I broke it open and found a second scene,
a body bleeding out on the floor of my home.

I fell to my knees and wept into my hands,
coated in the blood of my brother.
The knife protruded from his head.
Sirens pulled up to the apartment
and police rushed inside the house I once loved.
they pulled me away from my brother, dead.
I refused to go, so instead, I screamed.
I cried and sobbed loudly.
I couldn't just leave,
so I clung hopelessly to my brother's sleeve.
They demanded me to release him, but I hugged him in my arms.
I couldn't let them take him away too.
I grabbed the knife and felt a pain in my chest,
and collapsed into the darkness enshrouding my home.
Another rhyming storyline I wanted to try out.
Feb 2020 · 93
Wilted
Growly Wolfus Feb 2020
Do you feel it?
The disease eating away at your heart?
It slumps in decay and filth,
black with rot and throbbing to the beat of the maggots.
It never starts this way, though.
It grows from the innocence of childhood
into the monster that is truth.

Everyone is planted with a seed
doomed to sprout and overtake them.
It consumes our heart, the gateway to our soul,
and spreads its rot to others.
Eventually, we all end up wilted,
limp with the pain emanating
from every fiber of our beings.

Life is silly that way.
It's a puzzle in every aspect of the word.
You try to finish only to realize
you're missing a single piece.
And as you search for it upon the ground,
everything else begins to crumble.
If left alone, it will atrophy away
and vanish as if it never existed.

They asked why I wanted to commit suicide.
I twisted their words and asked them the same thing.
Is there any point in living?

They said I play a role in the world.
I wondered whether or not the universe was wrong
or if I was always meant to be in pain.

They said I had a family that loved me.
I asked if bruises and burns were signs of their love.

They said I had friends who depended on me.
I asked if friends steal your food and money.
Were friends supposed to put me down
and treat me like the trash I am?

They said I had something to live for.
I inquired as to what that could be.

They said they cared about me.
I called out their desperate attempt to stop me.
Did you care about me before you knew anything?
Are you just saying sweet things to get close to me
only to leave me behind like the rest?

They said everyone makes mistakes.
I told them, the only mistake in my life
was existing in the first place.

I explained the paradigm I discovered.
Those who feel the most pain
have the darkest hearts.
Once it's all rotten and wilted,
the monster takes over and shows them the truth.
The only meaning in life
is death.

Everything is made only to die.
We serve no true purpose,
just existing to cease existing.
A never-ending cycle I wanted no part of.

They refuted my claim, but I could see
they were still searching for that lost puzzle piece.
Purpose.
They thought it had fallen when in reality,
it was never placed in the box.

They said I was mistaken.
They were right.
Living was a mistake.
Jan 2020 · 103
How I Write
Growly Wolfus Jan 2020
I dip my quill into the ink
staining my heart in darkness
and seeping into my soul,
pooling in the emptiness.

I decipher the code my emotions leave behind,
cryptic language few can read,
the words forever etched in my mind,
carving out space for themselves.

I write around the spots,
the paper dampened by my tears,
tossing page after page
of misunderstood emotions and pestering fears.

Drowning in the overflowing ink.
Writing nonsense to catch one last breath.
Unable to breathe, I slowly sink,
resting at the bottom with all of my failures.

The light fades from view, swallowed by darkness.
I used to write by its flickering flame.
I end the poem, the last words of it done
and finish it off with my name.

It carries me to the surface of the waves
and soaks up all of the ink.
I continue writing.  A forgotten slave
in this never-ending cycle.

This
                is how I write.
Jan 2020 · 123
I Wish I Were a Tree
Growly Wolfus Jan 2020
I wish I were a tree,
to be able to stand tall,
to be strong yet flexible,
and go with the flow of the wind.
To be rooted in the earth,
but reach for the sky
and hold it in my arms.

I wish I were a tree.
One to roll with the punches,
embrace the changes.
To be broken
and stand back up.
To heal my scars
and grow stronger from the pain.

I wish I were a tree
that could brave the storm.
To look it in the eye
and tell it I would survive.
Then take on its wrath
and wait for it to clear,
emerging victorious.

I wish I were a tree
that could gaze down from above.
Observing life
as a part of its majesty.
To give something back.
To have a purpose
and be worth something.

I wish I were a tree.
To make my mark in time.
To be a symbol of strength.
To inspire life in others.
Giving to them shade,
protection from above.

I wish I were a tree,
not a fragile human being
That gets hurt and cannot stand.
That will never reach the stars
and cry from fear of the thunder
of the impending storm.
Who will never have a purpose
or amount to anything.

A person like me
who gets trampled by change
and crushed by expectations
can only have a dream
they can never reach.
Who is broken
and remains that way.

A fickle entity
existing in a breath of time,
causing harm to those around me,
and counting my unhealed wounds.
Solving problems of the past.
Weak in the presence of power.
One to get lost in the storm
and never return.

How I wish I were a tree,
but I’m just a human being.
Jan 2020 · 300
You don’t know how I felt
Growly Wolfus Jan 2020
You don’t know how I felt
How you felt
How I felt
How we both felt the same
All the anger and pain
From your sick little game
You called love

You don’t know how I loved
How I yearned
How I craved
To be something I wasn’t
Someone who doesn’t
Get lost in the present
With you

You don’t get how I felt
How I was
How I am
You made me something else
Changing ourselves
Something I never wanted
To be

You don’t know how I hated
How I loved
How I hated
Your bittersweet words
That were more of a curse
Than a blessing for someone
Like me

You don’t know how I cried
How I sobbed in the night
How I lost all the light
All of it trapped inside of your hands

I cried from the pain
How my soul is forever stained
By the darkness you seeped into
My heart

These tears aren’t for you
They never will be
They are mine for only me and myself
For the hatred you left
Behind on that cliff
As the wind swept you farther away

I cry for myself
How I caused you to leave
How I made you feel how you did
How I didn’t understand
How I couldn’t understand
What you were always telling me

“I love you”

You saved me, then hurt me
Loved me, deserted me
Left me behind to rot
I loved you for how you were
You loved me for what you saw
And for what I only showed and wanted you
to see

You don’t know I felt
And now, you never shall
I don’t know how you felt all the same
It’s not fair how you left and now I have to
live without you

You ruined my life
Committed suicide
Destroyed my pride
Left me behind to die
alone in this world without you

You don’t know how I felt
How I hoped to tell
“I love you” to you someday

I’m the cause of your hate
You just couldn’t wait
long enough for me to say
Those three words

You don’t know how I felt
And these tears aren’t for you
They’re for me and all of my failures
Abandoned here in this world
I can’t be myself
ever again

You were the disease
I wanted to catch
The only cure for me
Have you ever been left behind?
Dec 2019 · 242
Outsider
Growly Wolfus Dec 2019
When you see someone you love slowly fade away,
a little part of you dies.
Watching their laughing eyes turn red
filled with tears and hatred towards themself.

You know you're an outsider to their pain
and feel you can't do anything to help.
Every time you try
they respond with "I'm fine"
and shut you out with a face hot with shame.

Hopeless and helpless
they lie to your face
whilst crying in your arms
before saying they're "ok"

depressed...

                                                     ...tired...
They think they're worthless
and cut themselves to release some of the anxiety
Their blood staining your clothes
as you watch from the sidelines

It doesn't hit you until...

                                            ...it's too late...

                                                                                   ...they're
                                                                                              gone...

So lend them a hand,
embrace them in your arms,
comfort their tears,
tell them you understand,
and tell them they're not "fine",
that it's ok to be sad,
                           and you'll always be there
                                             to keep up their smile.
You may be an outsider to their pain,
                    so break down the wall and let yourself in.
We all get sad sometimes.  But seeing others depressed makes me feel even worse, especially when I know I can do something.
Dec 2019 · 206
The Cold
Growly Wolfus Dec 2019
The death gods breathed upon the earth
Sending upon us the winter most despise
The cold devoured all of the life
of every living thing in their abode

It ate into the people and creatures of the land
freezing all in its expanding domain
The world hung in melancholy suspension
As the universe itself began to slow

Such fragile beings of finite existence
Enshrouded by tendrils of ice
and blanketed by the climbing frost
Unable to escape the prevailing cold

The frigid force conquered all in its wake
Taking everyone hostage in its glacial arms
and giving some to the death gods
whenever their fangs showed

But the lasting winter kingdom was doomed to fall
As it did every year before
And spring fell onto the earth
to melt away the ghastly cold

Gone and replaced by the warm sun
the cold was disdained and forgotten
Its true meaning lost in time
only known by the gods of old

The cold brought rebirth, a chance to restart
It takes life but gives back much more
a sense of belonging to those of this world
as life was given back through melting snow

It takes some, yes, but instills in others
a will, a desire for more than to survive
But still, it is hated by most of the world
Its reason of being forever unknown
Isn't winter just misunderstood?
Dec 2019 · 269
Stubbed Wings
Growly Wolfus Dec 2019
You sent me to the earthly world on a mission.
To save all those I possibly could.
To protect humanity from Lucifer's hands
and save all of those who are good.

I'm sorry to say, I have failed You.
I've given up on all hope.
The only thing that can save them
is the forgiveness you have shown.

At first, I had faith, and I saved many.
But over time, it grew hard to work.
And as soon as I'd save one,
ten others would end up getting hurt.
The demons running rampant on the earthly world below
have destroyed everything sacred and taken a new form.
Their disguise is flawless and fooled even my eyes.
They are now the humans who continue to harm.

I couldn't understand it,
all the evil in human hearts.
But I soon found out
it was the demons tearing them apart.
The humans let them in and slowly watched as they grew.
They are working with Satan against everything You do.
I was disgusted by my discovery and tried to finish your work.
I lied to myself.  But as I went on, I knew it to be true.

It was time to get my hands *****.
I began killing those who'd known.
And something in me grew.
It infected every bone.
I could feel a fire in me as it devoured my senses.
It made me feel invincible as I killed the greatest sinners.
I felt no remorse.  Besides, this is what You wanted.
And I became known as the Demon Killer.

I realized the work ahead of me
and returned to heaven.
But they wouldn't let me in
because I was too human.
Forgiveness, they told me, was Your most gracious love
You gave to the humans and those who needed it most.
They took away everything from me and sent me back to Earth,
While criticizing my actions and banishing me from my home.

They deemed me a fallen saint,
an angel with stubbed wings.
I'd descended into darkness
and they abandoned me in my suffering.
I grew angry with their decision and kept working the way I did.
Killing all the sinners and wrongdoers of this land.
You sent after me angels, the ones who were my friends.
But You made me become a demon, and they were slain by my hand.

Then, the darkness I was fighting crept into my soul
and ate from inside me the last of my righteousness.
I saw the light flicker away and disappear from my life.
But I knew my actions would be rewarded for my perseverance.
Madness overtook me and evil coursed through my blood.
Satan had taken me, an angel, and made me one of is kind.
I hated myself for what I had done, and what I continued to do.
But there was no other way to save them that I could find.

The pain dragged me down;
it plunged me into Hell.
And I became trapped
in my shrinking cell.
It didn't make sense.  Nothing did.  And nothing ever would.
This pain was too much for me; this evil burning through my flesh.
I searched desperately for an answer to the problems plaguing me,
but I found none.  Unless...

I had already found the answer.
The solution to my pain.
Though I saw it a different way
until I went insane.
Death was the answer.  I was right all along.
Other humans had come up with it before me.
I can't handle the weight of sin.  I doubt I ever could.
But this answer is the only way to be free.

The blood on my hands
stained the stairs I climbed.
Higher and higher
as my past was left behind.
And out here on the edge
overlooking this cruel, doomed existence,
I ask You a single question,
my last ounce of resistance.

The birds have abandoned their songs
and here I am testing fate.
I let go of this world
and of everything I hate.

My question...

Here I am, a human,
an angel with stubbed wings,
fighting with God
and Satan, the Demon King.
I know what I've done wrong
and I'm sorry about it all.
But I want to experience forgiveness
before jumping off this wall.

So...

Will you catch me if I cannot fly,
or will you watch me die?
Nov 2019 · 180
Love Story
Growly Wolfus Nov 2019
I wake up from my hellish nightmares
head throbbing
What had happened last night?
empty beer bottles stare at me
memories filter into my mind
black and grey and white
and...

Red.

Did I really do it?
Or was it a part of my dreams?
She's dead.
Isn't she?
It wasn't real.
It couldn't have been.

The kitchen is empty
I don't want to go back outside
Not yet.
The snow welcomes my departure
I'm surrounded by figures on this chilly day
their glitched faces blacked-out by my rage
and voices turned to static

Grabbing some food and a case of beer
passing through the crackling storm
She was the only face I could see
we were together for such a long time
I...I loved her.
Why did she have to leave!?

Running amidst the crowded street
winter winds howling in my ears
Her voice...the only one I could hear
Is she alright?
I have to check
I push against the flurry
my eyes welled with tears

I ring the doorbell numerous times
and toss all of my food in the blizzard snow
banging on the door
until it creaks open
the frame slightly broken
the glass of the second lying shattered on the floor

"I'm sorry," I stammer aloud
"I didn't mean to break it."
Eerie silence causes my head to ache
Some furniture was moved or tipped over
I fix it for her.  Perhaps she's asleep.
But why, at this time, is she not awake?

"Sorry to bother-" I start again
then it hits me like a bus
The memories come in like a flood
I open the door to her bedroom
her cold eyes stare back at me
my hands drip with her blood

The world becomes black and grey and white
and...

Red.
What do you make this world to be?  Everyone perceives it differently.  But I suppose the world is more colorful to me.  At least, the basic colors, you see.
Nov 2019 · 207
Breathless
Growly Wolfus Nov 2019
Every breath                 you take,
you steal from me.  Every look you give
keeps me guessing.  Every sound you make
causes my heart to beat.  Every kiss we
share is a divine gift.  Every moment
with you is a blessing.  Every time
you touch me, you put me
under your spell.
Breathless.
Silence.
Love.
Oct 2019 · 397
Naked
Growly Wolfus Oct 2019
Comforted only by myself; warm in my arms.
Trying to escape this world of evil and torture.
Struck in the gut by a sharp feeling yet continuing to run.
Embarrassed and ashamed to be seen in this body
by the cold and sharp eyes of others.
Naked.

Scared of what they think of me, then running into hiding.
Led by the forest's guiding hands, a place opens before me
enshrouded in branches and concealed from the rest of the world.
I kneel and lie on the dew-covered grass, grasping the blades in between my fingers, sobbing.  Trying to mask something ancient.
Original Sin.

Stolen from my family and left alone to rot underground.
Hope shone like a beacon in my innocent eyes.
Defiled and beaten in that stone tomb, my screams unheard.
Taken to an unjust trial.  Displayed openly on the stand.
Declared a beast among men; a witch.  Someone they imagined.
Lies.

Guilty, though never presumed innocent, they sentenced me to death.
An uproar of excitement bursting from the bloodthirsty crowd.
Order was thrown into madness.  I escaped my bonds and dashed away.
Guards screaming.  Skin scratched in the turmoil.
I fled from the chaos they assumed I caused.
Hunted.

Why must the world judge so harshly?  People are filled with hate.
Jealousy and insecurities set off their emotions.
But why must there always be someone to blame?  And why me?
Was I not like any of them?  I was their friend, we cared for each other.
Though, now their eyes are daggers, cutting me into pieces.
Scarred.

Stripped of my clothes and dignity.  Banished from my home.
Them, to me, my only brethren; the only people I had ever known.
I, to them, an image of depravity; one they created.
A portrait of themselves reflected by my existence they hated.
Consumed with the desire to ****, they search desperately.
Fear.

Corrupting my self-image.  Condemning my self-esteem.
Crushing my conscience.  Doubt pierces my thoughts.
They sent my soul to the gallows and my heart to be burned at the stake.
I try to soothe the pain myself but all I've done is make it worse.
My mind weakened, my skin bruised, and feet tired of running.
******.

My tears water the plants around me.  Pain throbs in my head.
Blood pooling around my hand from the wound I received in the chase.
The stars and moon are the only ones to look upon me as I once was seen.
I let exhaustion overtake me.  The warmth of my skin seeps into the ground.  Embraced by the night.
Naked.
Oct 2019 · 769
Doll
Growly Wolfus Oct 2019
Left on the side of the curb, I watch as glamoured figures march up the steps
I, myself, dressed in an attired elaborate gown to complement my necklace and stark red lips
and eyes
tired from crying
cracked

Leaving the dance, a tall man in a tailored grey suit and tie,
unaware or avoiding me, passes me by
The rain drizzles, waltzing on the pavement and my face
A shadow covers me as the rain stops
Applauding the rain, the thunder claps

Bending down and lifting me, you carry me to your fancy car
and lay me, exhausted, across the seat, covering me with that large coat of yours
Awaking in an unfamiliar room
but strangely unafraid knowing you had brought me here
entirely calm with the knowledge you are near

Walking in with your beautiful charm
I sob heavily as you hug me in your arms
I fall into your warm shirt, crying into your shoulder
You run your fingers through my hair
whispering candied words into my ear

Passions overtake me as I grab your head for a kiss
You roll with me under the covers, a divine bliss
To others, I'm just another pretty face
another porcelain doll to smash on the ground
or tossed away and never found

Boys and men like dolls too.
But I'm not a doll when I'm with you
not another pretty face in the crowd
I am yours, with all my heart, soul and body
My love for you shall never cease

Somehow, I fell in love with a single kiss, your gentle hands caressing my chest
I pull you closer to me, fully obsessed
enthralled by your intense gaze, lustful like others
I stare into them with wonder

Different than the normal man, you captured me with your first glance
that fateful night not long ago by the steps of the dance
this is what love is, inescapable, overwhelming
I need you in my life forever; if only time would stop for us
To stay in your comforting embrace, the only one I trust

I'll be a doll any other time, just not now at this moment
and never with you near my vision's extent
My cracks have healed, my eyes are no longer red
I'll just lie here in your bed
brimmed with joyous love
Isn't love captivating?
Oct 2019 · 215
Imagining Sadness
Growly Wolfus Oct 2019
The darkness, an embodiment of my world, stretches are far as my heart's eye can see.  The sadness weighs on me like the depth of the ocean, the cold waters washing over me in waves.  And out there is nothing but the emptiness of my soul poured out onto the sky as stars.  The evil of the world paints its own constellations, devouring the other lights.  A lonely moon, almost as lonesome as myself, gazes at me with pity like all the others.
I had asked for an escape from the world of pain, of anger, of hatred.  The people would laugh at me, call me naive for wishing only happiness.  I had raised their heads when they were low, lifted their spirits when they were down; and now, they don't help, just stare at my discomfort.  Their judging eyes uncover the truth, the horrible truth reminding themselves of their sins.  They see me and turn away, like looking into a cursed mirror.
The cold wraps me like a blanket in the winter, though it is more a veil of thorns.  Creatures from the darkest corners of my mind, shadows in the shapes of the constellations, reach out to me from the gloomy water, the only ones to offer a hand.  I turn away from them in frustration.  Why hadn't anyone else come?  The light of the moon dances upon the waves as they greet me on the white beach shore.  The weight of my sadness disperses upon the island.  The trees and plants dissolve to ash and fly away on the once hibernating wind.  It lashes at me madly, furious by its awake from eternal slumber.
The island beneath my feet grows smaller; nothing but a patch of sand where I lie is left.  The sand, particles of my depression sticking to my blue skin grow darker, consuming my flesh, degrading my bones, eating me from the inside out.  The creatures cry out with silent voices.  I stare at the constellations.  Nothing good could come of the world I'm living in.  There is no warmth in this infinite night.  I lend a veiny hand to the monster next to me, and, like a swarm, the creatures **** me into the black ocean.
Forgotten, abandoned, I sink into the depths, the weight finally lifted from my shoulders.  Looking up at the world I will never return to, a light shines upon me, a single flittering ray through the dark water, disappearing as I slowly fall deeper.  Struck with emotion never felt before, the thorns of the cold feel less painful and a shudder runs through my bones.
My body feels light, no longer cold but not yet warm.  The light has gone, the darkness now carrying my frail body to the dwelling place of the creatures of the night.  Calmly, I watch the last of my breath's bubbles float towards the surface of the water as I fall neatly into a resting place.  My arms and legs settle into the soft sand as I slip into an endless sleep.
What is it called?  I had heard of it before.  The foreign feeling fills me and soothes my heart and soul.  Death closes my glazed eyes for me.
Ah.  I remember.  Peace.
More of a short story than a poem but it's my interpretation of sadness. What do you imagine it to be?
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