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9.2k · Aug 2019
Raindrop
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
A single raindrop falls from the sky,
depressed in its loneliness as it descends.
It lands and drips down a grassy *****,
alone and forgotten.

A single raindrop falls from the sky.
It falls from dark clouds and gloomy air.
It brings nothing but sadness to the earth below
and desires only to be heard or seen.

A single raindrop falls from the sky,
felt only by a stranger.
It's wiped away, declared a nuisance,
and cast away from existence.

A single raindrop falls from the sky,
mistaken for a tear.
Thought to be from an angel of a lost age.
It merely stirs the dust.

A hundred raindrops fall from the sky,
all lonely but together.
They cause a splash and demand attention.
Still only felt by one.

A hundred raindrops fall from the sky,
unable to quench the earth's thirst.
They disappear, taken by the ground,
embraced for the last time.

A hundred raindrops fall from the sky.
Not a head turns to notice them.
They cry out loudly but cannot be heard,
vanishing as they land.

A thousand raindrops fall from the sky.
The clouds gather to watch the spectacle.
They grow darker as they bunch together,
warning those below of the coming.

A thousand raindrops fall from the sky
and tap people on the shoulder.
"Come watch us," they whisper before leaving.
Few people are left behind.

A thousand raindrops fall from the sky,
looking for an audience.
The people have left and taken their friends
to hide in the buildings they made.

A million raindrops fall from the sky,
and joyously, they sing.
They hit the ground, the cars, the roofs,
and make music for those in hiding.

A million raindrops fall from the sky.
They dance and cheer and smile.
The sun decides it wants to watch.
The light dances with raindrops for awhile.

A million raindrops fall from the sky,
accompanied by rays of gold.
They bring new color to the city of gray
and rejuvenate all of the old.

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and makes art upon the ground.
It quenches the earth's thirst and hums in our ears,
dancing to its own sound.

A gentle rain falls from the sky.
People watch with awe from behind glass.
Ignored by many, precious to captivated few.
They long for it to last.

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and gracefully sways in the breeze.
It brings forth calmness and a sense of peace.
It blesses the green fields and trees.

A gentle rain falls from the sky,
watched by a child with wonder.
It sends the breeze to lift the child
and brings them out from under.

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and splashes on window panes.
It plays with the child and hums sweet tunes
as it makes puddles in the traffic lanes.

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and ripples in the water.
A new world created, impossibly calm.
It makes the child an offer.

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and whispers in the child's ear.
"Wait for me.  I will return.
I won't leave you alone here."

A gentle rain falls from the sky
and sings goodbye to the child.
The clouds dissipate as the sun takes over.
The departing rain simply smiles.

A million raindrops fall from the sky,
murmuring farewells and goodbyes.
Each gives the child a tender hug
as the color returns to the skies.

A thousand raindrops fall from the sky,
then a hundred, then one.
The single raindrop kisses the child
standing alone in the sun.

No longer do raindrops fall from the sky,
but a child waits for them.
To dance and sing and draw and play,
with the gentle rain again.
I LOVE the rain.  I wrote this after a gentle rainfall and listening to one of my favorite songs.
The child in the poem does not necessarily represent age, but more awe and feelings I have when I watch the rain.  It's so peaceful.  I feel like a child whenever I watch it or sit in it.
Kiss the Rain - Yiruma
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so6ExplQlaY
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
I was born into this, something I never wanted.  And all of my life, I've been running, hunted.  We're being tracked down and slaughtered, chased, by people with fire as their ally, their weapons made of silver or simply wooden stakes.  You've run us into a corner and murdered all of my kind out of fear, not a shred of their existence left behind, proclaiming it was for everyone's sake.  I am the sole survivor, the last of my race.  I have vowed not to fall victim to the same fate.

You've claimed me to be a monster, but what does that mean?  The only monster I see is you.  Murdering and spreading rumors of my kind, you don't understand what I've been through.  Saying I've slain many, but you've killed more than a few.  Stop speaking of such things; it's hurting me.  Stop lying to yourself.  Why can't you see? Are you ignoring it purposely?  Look at me, into my soul, and realize the devastation caused by your pursuit.  Why can't you understand?  Monsters have feelings too.

Though, it is too late to go back to peace.  The people can only see something unreal, a fake part of me.  And now, I will never be free.  I'm forever running from your conceit.  I have done nothing to bring you to this.  I've cut off my horns, my fangs, and my claws to try and be a part of your bliss.  I burnt my fur and scorched my skin, but all I've done has been dismissed.  I have to hide in caverns deep.  In the cold and damp, I sleep, afraid to be found in my cavern keep.

I could never fight you, that would only make things worse than before.  My skin is covered in my crimson blood and I'm in pain from the scars.  In anguish, I roar.  My gargantuan, curled ebony horns lay broken and cast aside; my thick, midnight blue fur reduced to patches and strewn across my stone lair; my calloused pads raw from running; my weary eyes tortured and worn.  I've given up on living any longer.  It's better to die and to be conquered than to be caged and grow weak from hunger; so I step out of the cave, crawling out on all four; and I lie down, exhausted, on the forest floor.
This is my first rhyming storyline.  It stemmed from a thought I had.  "Who are the real monsters in our world?"   let me know if you like it.  I don't know if I should finish it.
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3290949/a-monsters-feelings-part-two/
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3302905/a-monsters-feelings-part-three/
1.4k · Jul 2019
Deaf
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
Words have no meaning if you can't speak.
Don't get lost in your imagination with me.
I'll always be here, wanting to play.
Others don't understand what you feel everyday.
You can't hear any of this world's beauty.
You can only imagine the sounds of things we see.
You've been taught a language no one normal can read.
You're lost in your mind waiting to be set free.

Don't be afraid; I am here in your head,
But you sit and cry, filled with sorrow, instead.
No one can help, you'll make your own path.
Stand up to your fears and never turn back.
You may feel blind to this criticizing world,
but you are a unique, talented girl.
I am learning sign language.  It made me think about how deaf people feel when they are introduced to a hearing world.
1.2k · Aug 2019
Bloody Rose-reversible poem
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
blood.
I hate the
color it has.
such a strange
part of us.
it's only a natural
element of our being.
Roses represent an
love and romance.
I do not believe in
the hatred of our world.
love is
for us,
a beacon of hope.
Death is
scary.
Why must blood be red?
Why must the rose be red?
pain.
Red is the color of love and
agony.
Love is
warm.
Pain is
cold.
Blood is
red symbol of despair.
A rose, a
gift of love.
a true
gentleman carries a rose
for his love
"though it rots
it will not die"
I look into
the mirror
blood covers
the thorns on a rose.
Love is
freedom from the chains of torment.
nothing hurts more than
pains of heartbreak.
feel these
from a bleeding heart.
sorrow
or enduring the torture of
loneliness.
I dealt with
little of this.
I knew
the truth in love.
Lies are only
the thorns of a rose.
See beauty in
myself.
I hate
looking at the ****** rose.
read from the top, down then from the bottom line up.
This is my first try at a reversible poem, and I liked how it turned out.
Personally, I've always wondered why both love and evil are represented by the color red.
820 · Oct 2019
Gambling
Growly Wolfus Oct 2019
A world of wonder and possibility
illuminated by the light of uncertainty.
The adrenaline rush of taking a chance
only to lose it all by the cards in your hands.
It's a dangerous game to play if you choose;
to roll the dice, to win or lose.

Place everything on the table.
The higher the stakes, the more exciting it gets.
Your mental health entirely unstable
until the others call their bets.

The roll of the die, the shuffle of cards capturing your attention.
Debt fluctuating by a single move; silence strangled by tension.
Fancy beverages surround everyone
enlightening the experience more every time you finish one.
A simple game based entirely on luck,
and when you are losing, you don't give a ****.

But it only takes a little for your luck to run fully dry
and for you to lose everything in a silly game.
With no money left for the chips you need to buy,
nothing will ever be the same.
794 · Jul 2019
End
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
End
Life intolerable
Death inevitable
Desires insatiable
Things unreal

Words unspoken
Evil awoken
Vows art broken
Pain, thou feel

Fearless leaders shamefully hiding
Within cowards, still confiding
Helpless people slowly dying
Horrors thou hast never seen

Demons unleashed from their cages
Hellish, endless fire rages
Now unto the end of ages
Sins of all the world run free

Acts unthinkable
Power unimaginable
Disease incurable
Rots our souls

Gates of Wrath
Flank Satan’s path
Splitting in half
All he controls

Bowing to our God eternal
Pray to leave this world infernal
Careful not to wake nocturnal
Monsters of abysmal night

No response art thou receiving
Being led by hope deceiving
Finally, art thou perceiving
No escape, for all wilt die

Torture endless
Methods boundless
Leave thou breathless
Still afraid

Pain unending
Death descending
Hand extending
But betrayed

In this hellscape, thou art living
Only in the flesh existing
Forever art souls suffering
The carnage surrounding thee

Abominations now released
To feed on fear and the deceased
Destruction shalt never be ceased
Souls ****** for all eternity
I wrote this from the notion of the end of the world...
789 · Apr 2022
Parcel of Life
Growly Wolfus Apr 2022
A parcel of life
wrapped in a red bow
lifted by the good
and left in our hands
how do you handle
the unwieldy gift?
And is it to be
opened where you stand?

Miracles will come
most unexpected
always unknown and
loved in their splendor
So how should i feel
when you hand me this?
A bouquet for one
naming me center
of your world
697 · Oct 2019
Doll
Growly Wolfus Oct 2019
Left on the side of the curb, I watch as glamoured figures march up the steps
I, myself, dressed in an attired elaborate gown to complement my necklace and stark red lips
and eyes
tired from crying
cracked

Leaving the dance, a tall man in a tailored grey suit and tie,
unaware or avoiding me, passes me by
The rain drizzles, waltzing on the pavement and my face
A shadow covers me as the rain stops
Applauding the rain, the thunder claps

Bending down and lifting me, you carry me to your fancy car
and lay me, exhausted, across the seat, covering me with that large coat of yours
Awaking in an unfamiliar room
but strangely unafraid knowing you had brought me here
entirely calm with the knowledge you are near

Walking in with your beautiful charm
I sob heavily as you hug me in your arms
I fall into your warm shirt, crying into your shoulder
You run your fingers through my hair
whispering candied words into my ear

Passions overtake me as I grab your head for a kiss
You roll with me under the covers, a divine bliss
To others, I'm just another pretty face
another porcelain doll to smash on the ground
or tossed away and never found

Boys and men like dolls too.
But I'm not a doll when I'm with you
not another pretty face in the crowd
I am yours, with all my heart, soul and body
My love for you shall never cease

Somehow, I fell in love with a single kiss, your gentle hands caressing my chest
I pull you closer to me, fully obsessed
enthralled by your intense gaze, lustful like others
I stare into them with wonder

Different than the normal man, you captured me with your first glance
that fateful night not long ago by the steps of the dance
this is what love is, inescapable, overwhelming
I need you in my life forever; if only time would stop for us
To stay in your comforting embrace, the only one I trust

I'll be a doll any other time, just not now at this moment
and never with you near my vision's extent
My cracks have healed, my eyes are no longer red
I'll just lie here in your bed
brimmed with joyous love
Isn't love captivating?
686 · Aug 2021
Intoxicated
Growly Wolfus Aug 2021
Hand me a tall glass
of a swooning potion
bubbles rising to the top
and the foam in motion
as I sway back in forth
my cheeks marked with red blush
uncontrolled laughter
and careless touch

Does the world really spin
as fast as it does?
And does alcohol help us to see it?
Are these just
intoxicated shower thoughts?
Am I conscious enough to believe it?

Everyone's dancing
while I'm standing still
or is everything backwards
no one really knows
swonk yllaer eno on
or do they?
like a tainted echo
of what's really going on.
But I don't know what's happening
so does that really matter?
Do we matter?
What matters?
Who cares besides ourselves what happens?
Is that a paradox?
Will the world explode?
What have I done?
Oh well :1
all that matters now is

Sleeeeep
640 · Sep 2019
Hourglass
Growly Wolfus Sep 2019
To cry without hurting would be a blessing
To be heard without making a sound
Struggling to find the strength to stand
only to fall onto my knees
Lying prostrate on the ground
weeping silently

People look at me like how they gaze through a window
to see past the glass, forgetting it's there
I want them to acknowledge my existence
to see who I am, to know I am here
Shadows, faceless forms peer in with empty stares
looking in like the others before they disappear

I watch solemnly as life flies by
here for only a moment
The color of life dull in my eyes
Black and grey and white
The color drained from the environment
emotionless in my sight

A single light shines in from above
a white, flickering flame, so menial
A symbol of hope in this cage
I reach out to grab it
The fire looms above, somber, ethereal
a pure and holy spirit

Grains of sand fall through my fingers
time slipping away
I'm trapped in an hourglass constantly flipping
suffocating in secret
Hidden beneath the things others say
suffering from the torment

Tears turning to blood and blood to pitch bile
a frame holding broken glass
Drowning in the dust of ages
forsaken and alone
The cracks grow larger as shadows pass,
a black hole where a star once shone

I sit, frozen in time, forgotten but still here
darkness enshrouding me
Sinking into the ground, the glass finally shattered
Time slows to a halt
I scream, sobbing helplessly
everything is my fault

I draw the attention of glowing eyes
sand pouring out from the cavity
The hourglass runs empty, time continues onward
sand falling into nothingness
The shadows move along, ignoring me,
lost in the abyss

The crimson blood, the only color I see
staining the fire above me
Forever out of reach, the light dissipates
gone from this world of darkness
Absent from the world of grey, never to be seen
hope swallowed by sadness

Trying to stand a second time
inevitably falling
sobbing loudly in the dark
no sound coming out
Death has come to my calling
the only one to hear my shout

Time has run out for me
this living hell closing to an end
No longer trapped in the hourglass
Death has set me free
With no sand left to spend,
I'm finally released
628 · Jul 2019
Introvert
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
I shake your hand unwillingly.
I didn't want this to be
the start or end of our newfound friendship.
I'm forcing, pushing myself to do this.
Keep in mind, this is not my kind of bliss.
T'is not cause of you I ran away,
but I just knew I couldn't stay.
I doomed "us" before "we" even started.

"Let's be friends," I'd rehearsed in my head,
not knowing I  would soon be led
by all my faults and hardships.
I feel I will implode
never knowing where else to go.
"I'm an introvert," I'd always say.
This is the excuse I use everyday.
I'm led blindly by my own utter failures.

""It's really not that hard to do,"
I thought whilst running away from you.
Being social is a part of our livelihood.
I've fallen and there's no one to stop me.
I don't matter, so why not flee?
No one will notice that I am gone.
I have no acquaintances to lean on.
Nothing can keep this sea from being parted.

I try my hardest, I try my best
but I'll never get any rest.
Being alone is neither healthy nor good.
I've tried to find some friends online,
but they would go away sometimes.
My time here's waning.  I'm consumed by fear.
There are no friends to save me from here.
They'll never know how much it really hurts.
A depressed introvert's life story.
576 · Jul 2019
Confinement
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
Trapped.
Ignored.
Risking it all without reward.
Unwanted.
Shunned.
No one knows you were the one.

When you know of your wrong, but you can't deny
all the feelings you carry on the inside.
You have no worth, and don't you cry
even though you feel like you want to die.

you masked everything and blocked all others out.
You knew they only wanted to fill you with doubt.
You know you are special since death is near
to save you from all the fires of fear.

How can you stand to watch the whole world burn?
You needn't do what you did; you'd nothing to earn.
I hope to never see your return.
You say you freed them of their concern.

This... confinement you have placed yourself in
won't be able to save you from all of your sin.
You're a psychopath, a murderer, a monster.
How can you find solace through your slaughter?

Why do you think you deserve a chance at life
when you killed so many with the swift cut of a knife?
I hope death will come to take all of your might.
To take you away; to hide you from our sight.

You feel you grow stronger but your light surely dims.
I want to watch as it goes, in your confinement grim.
I cannot deny how hard I have sought to find you.
I watch you from afar, silhouette clear from my view.

I'm the survivor of your chaos and now
you only have days to live.
This was one of my POV poems.  I wanted it to be from the point of someone searching for a murderer who was never caught.
543 · Jul 2019
Speechless
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
I've always been a quiet person.
I keep my thoughts short and to the point.
I never thought words were important.
Now, I realize each one has meaning.
I couldn't talk, unable to breathe
whenever people would speak to me.
"Social anxiety" it is called.
It seemed I couldn't shake the feeling.
Then I saw you when I was lonely one day.
I now keep my mouth shut more often.
Afraid that I will say the wrong words,
I'm speechless when I'm standing next to you.

Your eyes a crisp green, your hair golden,
your smile as bright as the stars at night.
Your laugh is like the waves of the ocean.
Your angelic voice calming and sweet.
I can't think straight when I'm around you,
your charming effect overpowering.
I solemnly stop to think of love,
but I still dream of when we will meet.
It could be today or tomorrow.
I want to run when you look at me,
and I can't help speaking so softly.
I'm speechless when I'm standing next to you.

If I'd raise my voice, I'd be heard across the room,
but I think we must have some distance.
You'll never find me in your embrace,
a relationship that won't exist.
My mouth is sealed and I'll stay silent.
You don't even know who I am,
but a fire has been building inside me.
Never before have I felt like this.
This burning can't be tamed by others.
It's an unstoppable force.
It's in my core where my heart dwells,
but still, I'm speechless when I stand next to you.
The raging fire of youthful love with a shy girl and her crush.  This is my favorite romance poem I've written.
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
A warmth, a blanket of darkness covers me, holds me in the night, until the sun at daybreak wakes me with it's forbidden light.  And by me, I find a human sitting there, warming herself by a fire's glowing light.  She looks at me and smiles as I gaze back with horror and fright.  I sit up, scared of what she wants, and think to run from my plight.  "You should know," my booming voice rumbles, "I do not wish to fight."  She looks at me merrily, and steps closer, my large shadow looming over her.  She understood not a word I had said.  She smells of a floral odor.  For a reason unknown, she dresses my wounds and feeds me herbs and clover.  I cannot comprehend her feelings towards me,  but she'll stay in my sight.  Something in me has snapped, an ember self-ignites.

She follows me, sticking close to my side, back into the cave where I always hide.  In there, she heals my broken heart and soul from the inside.  Does she understand my feelings?  A monster's feelings?  Or is she someone with whom I am temporarily allied?  Over time, my midnight blue fur returns, my fangs, claws, and horns still growing back.  But she is special compared to her brethren; she knows and feels something they all lack.  Courage and empathy.  You and your kind would only attack, wishing me dead, to boost your pride.  And by the devil's law, you began to abide.

I have given this woman everything, and she gave it back tenfold.  I danced with her in the wilderness, and clinging to my fur, she rode.  How could I repay this woman, for whom so much I owed?  Then, one fateful day of exploring led me to a road, a human invention leading to their towns.  It was by chance I came alone.  I would retrieve a gift for my friend; so, through the shadows of the forest, I travel, following a ditch where the great river once flowed.  It leads to a village, a small and humble place, infected by the humans and their spiteful race.  Quickly, I grab a tool they use outside, and I run away, ready for a chase.  But no one notices, no one knows of the tool I have borrowed.  I speed back to the cave where we stay.  Once far enough from the village, I slow my pace.

These chimes ring joyously in the wind, and cannot be silenced no matter how hard I try.  It reminds me of my happiness sounding, like the waves of the ocean coming in the tide.  I want this feeling to never end.  I want her to stay with me all my life.  I search for our cave, our home, this place of mine.  Something is wrong.  A stench of smoke burns in my nose and clings to the area of the forest I'm in.  I'm so close to the cave, not far downwind.  I panic and run as fast can through this maze of trees past the great river bend.  And, at the mouth of the cave, torches lay scattered, a fire burning, glowing hot, set to light by ruffians.  The smoke stings my eyes as I look high and low, trying to find where the fire begins.  Blood of smaller game covers the ground, sacrifices to the human god of wrath, traced to corpses and animal skins.  I rush into the fire where my friend has once been.  Nothing in there is left, and I leave the cave, mystified.  I find only one clue nearby, written in blood on a sign hidden under the rotting flesh where maggots had begun to reside.  It reads, 'We've caught the witch!  Let us purge her, make her cry!  She brought forth the demon, she who is satan's bride!'
This is the second half.  I'm thinking of adding another part to finish it off.  I like how it's turning out.  What are your thoughts?  How does it make you feel?
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3284994/a-monsters-feelings-part-one/
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3302905/a-monsters-feelings-part-three/
427 · Oct 2020
Lily Pads
Growly Wolfus Oct 2020
The frog croaked softly
amid the morning mist
His breath hung in the air
puffs of October's fall
The birds chirped in splendor
as the frost captured their song
holding notes in suspension
until others returned the call


And on the water, lily pads
floated past in a gentle breeze
the size of china saucers
we'd use whilst sipping tea
a bridge of small proportions
the hopscotch game of life
a crossing from our world to theirs
under the crimson leaves

Birds came to watch with envy
atop their crooked perch
Bugs skated to and fro
across the liquid glass
The dandelion dancers
drifted above the pool
and stood on lily pad ferries
where the bullfrogs had sat

The forest was a portrait
by Van Gogh and Claude Monet
A storm of autumn colors
the lily pads ablaze
A stillness to be broken
beneath the sun's warm smile
The tranquil winds kept blowing
the fire sparked by our gaze

The music of the angels
disguised by amber leaves
amidst the forest wildfire
ne'er to melt the morning frost
And people pass, indifferently
the beauty that was there
as none but I did witness
the life this fall had brought
423 · Apr 2020
Flower of Death
Growly Wolfus Apr 2020
Blossoms growing
in earnest spring.
Leaves in meadows,
winds that sing.
Birds call out
with tranquil breath
as I lie still
in flowers of death.
In sunbathed glory,
creatures bask.
And I with them
without my mask.

The only place
where I can go,
be understood
for what I know
is here,
the place of broken dreams.
The graveyard
where you once met me.
You saw without
society's
disguise for ones
like you and me.
But you grew up
deprived of truth,
the one I found
while in my youth.

I handed you
a flower and smiled.
You said,
"Beautiful as always, child."
But you still couldn't
understand
why I stayed in
forsaken land.
You went your way
and I went mine.
You couldn't see
beauty divine.
You still cry every time
you come.
You know nothing
of what I've done.

There's nothing here,
so pass on by.
Ignore my life
until I die,
and then you'll say
those lies and thoughts.
"I loved you."
Yet, here I will rot
until that fateful
day draws near,
and you come home
to greet me here.
The people come
and speak their minds.
"You meant so much."
"You were so kind."

They talk from their
experience.
Wait some time
and forget your death.
The sadness you have
won't subside
from your regrets
before you died.
Feel the emptiness
fill your bones.
Then I will sit
by your gravestone
and say to you
the truth I know.
"I'm dead inside,
like you below."
I wrote this from another story I did.  It's summarized within these lines.

"Sweet child, you are a flower of death."
Growly Wolfus Sep 2019
"They've taken her," it dawns on me.  "They've taken her back to their kind.  They'll **** her," I say worriedly in my mind.  I run after them and follow their trail, only by the scent of blood, defined.  I grow more worried as I get closer to their village.  Where will my friend be confined?  The houses start at the edge of trees.  I crouch behind one and watch mankind.  The people jest and tease my friend, tearing her clothes, ripping her skin.  Something grows in me, otherwise hidden.  They tie her to a post and speak a tongue long forgotten, cursing my friend as she stands humiliated on the wooden platform.  They laugh and grin.  With a torch in hand, they set alight the fire.  Around the pile of oil and sticks, dry straw is lined.  My heart wrenches in horror and disgust upon seeing their actions, malign.

My fur turns as red as the blood being poured, my horns getting larger and darker in color.  My fangs and claws grow as sharp as swords, my eyes burning, glowing crimson with hatred.  I crash through the houses and streets, grabbing and throwing those in my way, racing towards the fire before my friend is killed.  I reach for her ...... too late.  Her crisp bones and flesh turn to ash in my hands.  The human's deed has been fulfilled.  I lost the one I most adored.  Why would they do this?  I abhor humans and their actions.  They think with their hearts and never their heads.  I deplore their works of evil and violence, destroying the land, polluting our shores.

I cry out in sorrow, mourning my loss, and, in me, raging anger breaks loose.  I spout fire from my mouth, burning people's homes, destroying their fields until all is reduced to dust.  They suffered the same punishment they had used to ****** my only friend.  As I calm, my fur changes back.  I shrink in demeanor and my eyes turn pitch black.   I hunch over in pain from the attack.  I've been scarred by fire and what I've done, but the human's deed has been paid back.  Why all of this over a simple reason your people refuse to believe?  To be ignorant is no excuse.  Why won't you realize it?  Monsters have feelings too.

I will claim the name you've given me, become what you already see.  A monster that doesn't have any feelings, a demon that has been set free.  Then, only then, will you be correct in the way you think of me.  I didn't want to resort to this when it could've been solved diplomatically.  Forever, until the end of time, I will turn the tables and hunt you for all eternity, for you demolished my dignity.  You will fear me, now, more than anything else, and praying to your god of wrath won't do anything to help.  By my hand will you suffer greatly for what you have done to my friend and me.  All of this because you refuse to believe...

Monsters have feelings too.
403 · Jan 2021
Colorless Life
Growly Wolfus Jan 2021
As color blended into one,
a mundane shade be found,
a portal spawned spontaneously
leading to a new plane.
And never did time change there
nor move within this world
the sky of faded grey,
the stars, the only twinkling light.

A forest of decay
swamped by growth of moss and vine,
submerged in icy water
as frost clung to its breath.
Though this land, forsaken,
seemed fraught with death and doom,
life occurred in a minor fashion
within the colorless realm.

While 'neath the frost and damp of night
there lived a silent song,
echoes of past lives calling
to those who deigned to hear.
As predators hunt prey,
the voices captured light
and sprouted glowing blossoms
to entrance all that could see.

And below the undergrowth, hiding,
were creatures small and quick;
the only source of color
under the diseased trees.
They darted past each other
to nests in fungi abodes,
dragging with them the petals
of starlight wrapped in leaves.

A rainbow formed in dew drops
and glittered in the sap
of the life-giving waters
still streaming from the trees.
And waiting near the borders
were creatures of tooth and claw,
searching for their next meal
between the growing thorns.

This colorless life
existed silently,
a singular occurrence
within the achromatic world.
But still, there was a hope
and a flicker of a flame
that soon color would bathe
the land in brilliant shades.
366 · Jul 2019
Coma
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
I cry in barren deserts, the tears stolen from me.
My eyes are dry, like the sand, washed away by the sea.
My hands are scarred and calloused; my shirt is torn away.
My feet are burnt and blistered by the dawn of a new day.

The time that's left is dwindling; I feel I have it all.
I count down the minutes 'till the time when you next call.
My soul is crushed and withered; your name is on my lips.
You'll be the one who saves me from this deathly abyss.

Inside me, a cavity where my heart likes to hide.
It's turned to stone, cold and hard, by despair, hate, and pride.
The world around me is blurred, a mirage to my eyes.
The sun's scorching my peeled skin.  My head is filled with lies.

The time that's left is dwindling; I feel I have it all.
I count down the minutes 'till the time when you next call.
My soul is crushed and withered; your name is on my lips.
You'll be the one who saves me from this deathly abyss.

I cry out in this lonely world, "Help me survive the night!"
You responded with your name, my eyes bathed in your light.
Too bad I'm trapped in my mind, slowly, surely dying.
I pull myself towards the shore; I've given up on trying.
This desert that I have crossed, surrounded by the sea,
was my final obstacle in my journey to be free.
I watch my body float away from me, washed away from the shore.
And strangely, it begins to rain; I dance in the downpour.

I have beaten this battle; I'm so close to getting out.
The rain has quenched the desert from the never-ending drought.
But something is wrong; something's different in my mind.
Who cares anymore?  I'm leaving this state behind.
I leave my earthly being as my mind becomes a blank slate.
I watch as my family cries; who knew that this would be my fate?
They wanted to end my suffering; they ended my pain.
But I was close to being saved; they took my life in vain.
This one could've been a song.  I wanted people to think before pulling the plug on someone else's life.
343 · Oct 2019
Naked
Growly Wolfus Oct 2019
Comforted only by myself; warm in my arms.
Trying to escape this world of evil and torture.
Struck in the gut by a sharp feeling yet continuing to run.
Embarrassed and ashamed to be seen in this body
by the cold and sharp eyes of others.
Naked.

Scared of what they think of me, then running into hiding.
Led by the forest's guiding hands, a place opens before me
enshrouded in branches and concealed from the rest of the world.
I kneel and lie on the dew-covered grass, grasping the blades in between my fingers, sobbing.  Trying to mask something ancient.
Original Sin.

Stolen from my family and left alone to rot underground.
Hope shone like a beacon in my innocent eyes.
Defiled and beaten in that stone tomb, my screams unheard.
Taken to an unjust trial.  Displayed openly on the stand.
Declared a beast among men; a witch.  Someone they imagined.
Lies.

Guilty, though never presumed innocent, they sentenced me to death.
An uproar of excitement bursting from the bloodthirsty crowd.
Order was thrown into madness.  I escaped my bonds and dashed away.
Guards screaming.  Skin scratched in the turmoil.
I fled from the chaos they assumed I caused.
Hunted.

Why must the world judge so harshly?  People are filled with hate.
Jealousy and insecurities set off their emotions.
But why must there always be someone to blame?  And why me?
Was I not like any of them?  I was their friend, we cared for each other.
Though, now their eyes are daggers, cutting me into pieces.
Scarred.

Stripped of my clothes and dignity.  Banished from my home.
Them, to me, my only brethren; the only people I had ever known.
I, to them, an image of depravity; one they created.
A portrait of themselves reflected by my existence they hated.
Consumed with the desire to ****, they search desperately.
Fear.

Corrupting my self-image.  Condemning my self-esteem.
Crushing my conscience.  Doubt pierces my thoughts.
They sent my soul to the gallows and my heart to be burned at the stake.
I try to soothe the pain myself but all I've done is make it worse.
My mind weakened, my skin bruised, and feet tired of running.
******.

My tears water the plants around me.  Pain throbs in my head.
Blood pooling around my hand from the wound I received in the chase.
The stars and moon are the only ones to look upon me as I once was seen.
I let exhaustion overtake me.  The warmth of my skin seeps into the ground.  Embraced by the night.
Naked.
340 · Jul 2019
Mask
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
This seems to be reality,
but I just want to be free
from all concern and all the hate
in this world whose doom is fate.
'**** me now,' I thought aloud
silently, not making a sound.
I place on my face of happiness
to shield underneath the emotional mess.
Hiding my pain in my soul,
it eats away, out of control.

I try to smile at all my friends,
but how can I?  In the end
we all will face our judgement day.
Shall I bring it closer or shall I stay
here with you, my love, my hope?
But I'm afraid I cannot cope
with any of life's problems.
I'm scared that I am one.

I shake my head and break a fake smile
when you say that I'm a pretty gal.
The truth is, I hate myself
and find it easier to fail than to excel.
Change the subject, don't put it on me.
I'm not the one who likes to be
the center of all attention.
When I speak, you can cut the tension.

When I daydream, I think of the future
and how it grows ever nearer.
When I sleep all I have are nightmares
filled with only horrors and jump scares.
When I awake, I shrug it all off.
"This is normal to me," I scoff.
My failures stare me in the face.
Some things you can never replace.
The joy in my heart has been devoured,
but I have more important things to think of this hour.
Like how I'll **** myself. Is it the right time?
What should I use?  Will it all be fine?

Headed to school the very next day.
Mumbling and cursing myself, I say,
"Good morning," and walk to my seat.
With a fraud grin, I stare at my feet.
Again, I wear my mask of happiness.
Thinking of death, I clench my fists.

Soon... very soon.  No one knows......
The reality and the everyday thoughts of a suicidal person can be confusing.
Some feel guilty, others are anxious, and some are filled with true happiness.
306 · Aug 2019
Words Speak Volume
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
Words can
Obscure
Reality,
Dousing all of
Senses with fierce emotions,

Smothering our logical thoughts and throwing off our
Poise.  They
Exaggerate what we
Actually mean and
Know.

Vexing
Our inner selves,
Loving and carrying
Us to higher places,
Meaning things we don't understand.
Enough.  It's time to think before speaking.
279 · Jul 2019
Conscience
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
How do you feel being trapped inside that beautiful mind of yours?
Your eyes like to wander, your hands like to write, about a fantasy world.
This world is not real, yet you claim it to be
a vision of your reality.
A barren void, a terrible hole,
a cavity inside your soul.

Why don't you tell someone of
your feelings called hate, opposite of love?
The time we have is limited, your mind quickly grows older.
So why don't you take a long rest on someone else's shoulder?

How can anyone know the pain that you feel?
No one can help you; you're behind the wheel.
You daydream in this world waiting just for you.
Why won't you except their offers?  Why?  They know what you've been through.
I promise things will be alright as you scream and try to write.
Please, I beg of you, tell anyone of your hate.
But by the time you finally speak, it will be too late.
You disregard all your worth and things others value.
You simply ignore me when I say, "I need you and love you."

Why don't you tell someone of
your feelings called hate, opposite of love?
The time we have is limited, your mind quickly grows older.
So why don't you take a long rest on someone else's shoulder?

I'm here for you; that gut feeling is me.
I'm just your conscience, which I'll always be.
But when you think so hard you shrink, try not to hurt yourself in any way.
This is where the devil hides, planting the smallest seeds inside
your mind, as it slips into confusion,
a deeply sorrowful state called depression.
You think you're delusional,
but that fades and leads to a confession.

Yet sadly, now, things have gotten worse.
All of it feels as if somehow you're cursed.
You want to run away from it all,
but you simply can't resist the devil's call.
You plan your escape from reality,
and plan your trip across the infinite sea.
Your fantasy world is where you'll go, ignoring what others say and believe.
Hear me and my reason!  Stop listening to him!  Do not be deceived!
It's as though you're deaf to my words; taking a deep breath in, you sigh.
Hiding, listening to the devil, I yell for you to stop, but you pull the trigger and. . . . . .
I think this one was supposed to be a song.  Can you hear your conscience speaking?
259 · Aug 2019
Blackout
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
All the lonely voices crying for help
their laughter chills my bones
the darkness has taken control
listening to their moans
they're afraid at times but otherwise brazen
you cannot see their face
they scream insults, phrases, and words
"you are a disgrace"
there are voices in my mind
impossible to silence
everything is invisible to my eyes
the voices act as tyrants
the blackout of my brain
became my reality
I ask myself questions the voices ask
"Is this really me?"
The light shines in, it hurts, it burns
the darkness inside me shrivels
I cry out in pain, the light is evil
I crumble to the ground and wither
The darkness returns, I feel at home
this is where I belong
I live here in this pitch black night
the light will soon be gone
I recall writing this during a school blackout.  It was a super stressful time.  There were at least ten officers in the building making sure everything was okay because the day before someone threatened to shoot up our school.
254 · Jun 2020
Exhaustion
Growly Wolfus Jun 2020
I step out of bed each day
and collapse upon the floor.
Why I pick myself up and how
are a mystery every morning.

Like someone whispering,
"Don't give up yet.  You still have hope.
And hope is the light that will guide you home."
So I keep moving, keep breathing,
keep loving, keep failing.
But I keep living.

And every morning
when I'm tired of this life,
ripped to shreds and worn to the bone,
I hear a voice that reminds me,
weary I may be,
I know that when I fall
someone will catch me,
even if it is the ground.
I thank God for my guardian angel and those who help me continue on.
247 · Aug 2019
Rambling In You Head
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
No one loves you, so why do you smile
when you know you're hated and despised?
If you're truly happy with who you are,
why do you always seem to have to lie?
This feels great!  We grin at your pain.
It's good to finally have a challenge.
You complain, but I know you like it too.
We haven't caused too much damage.

Why do you cry?  You stupid human being.
If you show your torment, what do you think they'll say?
They'll call you weak for what you are doing,
so we keep you from speaking every day.
You don't deserve help from others.
Go and try to be happy with your friends.
Soon, they will see your true colors.
Then that will be where this ends.

Haha!  Hehe!  We're sorry.  We can't help it.
Except we're not sorry at all.
You're weak and don't belong here.
The higher you climb, the farther you'll fall.
You're tired again--aren't you?--from being around them.
How will you survive on your own?
You like to be here but you're exhausted again.
It's better to just be alone.

You admit we're there, but you'd much rather ignore us.
It's difficult with all of us here.
You try to listen but sometimes, we're too many.
Your hope for rescue is turning to fear.
You can't decide.  What can you do?
Lying awake in your bed.
You can't silence us.  We're louder than whispers.
We're the rambling in your head.

You laugh awkwardly.  You know we are here.
You cannot hide for long.
You try to ignore us but we are still there.
We will never be gone.
It's about time you tell someone the truth,
but we trust that you won't just yet.
We are with you for a reason.
You don't know why I bet.

We'll be back soon.  We'll be quiet for now.
We know we can depend on you.
It won't be long, don't worry.
Rambling is what we do.
Does anyone else hear voices in their head?  I used to believe it was totally normal.  I mean, everyone has a conscience, I just thought mine was trying to **** me.
246 · Jul 2019
Cuts
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
I chuckle lightly and smile at my knife.  One day, I would use this weapon to take my own life.  Slowly, I jab it into my arm, dragging it down and causing self-harm.  I have an addiction to inflicting pain, so I do it to myself since nothing will I gain except for the scars and blood on my skin.  How could this ever be considered a sin?

The blood trickles slowly down, hardening then turning brown.  I clean it up as if nothing happened.  If my parents knew, they'd be deeply saddened.  I act like I do normally and my friends don't notice anything wrong with me.  I wear a jacket to cover the scratches.  Some are still healing from last week's matches.

I feel the need to try other ways to cut myself, but to my dismay, I lost my only blade.  I bought a better one for which I paid.  The cuts on my arms grow more crowded.  There are too many to be counted.

After slicing my arms, legs and feet, I look to Death who I'll soon greet.  Just one stroke to end my life.  I whisper a prayer and grab my knife.  Admiring the dagger-like shank, I slide it against my neck and calmly thank anyone who didn't know of this.  They are all oblivious.

Today I will complete my mission, a goal of which I am commissioned.  You must  know, this has to be, and now I'm dead because no one stopped me...
I drew a very eye-opening image on the back page in my notebook.  This poem accompanies it.
239 · Aug 2019
Depression
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
Get out!  Stay away from me.  Or else, you too will get the disease
of hatred, anger, lust, and pride.  Get away or else you'll also die.
Let me wallow in this pit of despair.
Because, deep down, I know you don't care.
And this love that you thought we had
was never real.  Please don't be sad.
Just throw all your problems unto me.  I'm the one who's going to be
alone for the rest of their days, staring into his eyes, his deadly gaze.

It's final now; I've been diagnosed.  I have the condition I dreaded most.
Depression, they say, will be a hard battle.  I can't go on with this tiresome travel.
My only friends are in my head,
since all the others believe me dead.
Leave me alone! Don't let me poison your mind
with thoughts of death and suicide.
If you ever catch this disease, you'll be with me on the stormy seas.
I long for death or some escape from his gaze filling me with hate.

My happiness has been taken from me, and I'll never get it back from the beast.
He let me go from his cold grasp.  For once, I'll be at peace, at last.
Another one lost...                                                                                    
                                                                   ...hundreds left wondering...
...... is this the best choice?...
237 · Jul 2019
I Own
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
I own nothing
nothing at all.
Think before doing or else you too will fall.

I've never seen or felt love before
but then I met you.  You opened the door,
the stone gate guarding my melancholy heart.
Now that you're here, stay to play your part.
I role in my life usually vacant.
Stay here with me, I have plenty of patience.
I promise not to argue.  I'll only listen.
Speak your mind to me.  Let nothing be hidden.
I will give you everything I have.
Just be here by my sad and never be sad.
I'll be happy with you for the rest of my days.
Never will I get over your gaze.

Your eyes a creamy, deep rich brown.
Your face seems to glow, your red hair always down.
The way you move is mesmerizing.
The words you say are hypnotizing.
I love you wholly with all of my heart.
I think no one can tear us apart.
I did not see
all the signs you left for me.
Once I found them, I couldn't understand.
Why would you leave my for another man?
None of it is true.  It must all be a lie.
But deep down inside I wish I would die.
You cheated on me with another.
We can no longer trust each other.
I lost everything to my ignorance.
I can't believe you and your difference.

Now, I own nothing,
nothing at all.
Think before doing or else you too will fall.
Being cheated on is the worst feeling.  It's a different kind of heartbreak.
234 · Nov 2021
Nothing
Growly Wolfus Nov 2021
'
























































'
What am I?
233 · Dec 2021
Wasp Haiku
Growly Wolfus Dec 2021
Imagine a wasp
With no stinger, no threat
Would you still hate them?
233 · Aug 2019
The Monster Under My Bed
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
He lurks in the shadows.  He burns in the light.
It seems he can feel nothing.
He is silent and stays out of sight.
He's hiding from something.
He cannot touch us and feeds off our dreams.
He haunts us in our sleep.
He is not as evil as he seems.
Our happiness, he keeps.

He has crab-like legs and glowing eyes,
his hands and claws like cages,
his tail with feather ends raised high,
he's been here throughout the ages.
His ears are sharp.
He can hear every whisper.
He has a good heart
and's a wonderful listener.
He has a large mouth with four fangs.
He's a shadow in the night.
Under my bed, he lingers, he hangs.
Only for me will he fight.

People I tell of him say it's all lies.
They never believe when I say he is real.
We're friends, and in dreams, we sail all the skies.
I made him a promise. I intend to keep our deal.

He says little now as a voice in the shadows.
He guides me to the light.
He holds me up when I feel powerless.
The monster in the night.
I must go now.  I made a vow to leave.
He'll take me away with him.
I'm escaping this world for another, you see.
He's taking me to them.

He's here...
                                             ...and he's waiting.
This is honestly, one of my favorite story poems.  Read it as if you are a child.
Go back to being naive and curious.  It'll impact you all the more.  Escape into another world.
225 · Mar 2020
The Hunt (Part Two)
Growly Wolfus Mar 2020
I plant the last cross in the frosted ground
of winter marching through the leaves of fall.
The last of my coterie I hadst found
I buried, each covered with a singed pall.
Now in the world of cold, I lie in snow,
mourning the loss of everything I was.
Insanity exuding from my woe
and dreadful curses spouting from my jaws.
Thou art a monster corrupting the world
and spreading dreadful lies of the deeds done.
But soon, behold, the truth to be unfurled!
The news spreadest thee from thy serpent's tongue.
I choosest to complete my final hunt
and punish thee for such a great affront.

Thou hearken not to the grave steps upon the earth now beating.
Dost thou not see, contemptuous fiend, the eyes of death upon thee?
Thou takest from the living world the reason for my being.
And by thy hand, destroy my land, stealest everything from me.
225 · Aug 2019
Okay
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
I'm not a shy person and I have some close friends,
but for an unknown reason, I have a sinking feeling.
I often take offers life doesn't usually lend,
and some risks I take send others reeling.
Something is off.  I know something is wrong,
but I keep going on as if nothing's the matter.
One day, we all will be gone,
and I cannot worry myself with this latter.
Time is a keen element in everything.
The more we waste, the less we have.
I don't know what the universe has in store for me.
I hope it's nothing serious or bad.

The voices I have, someone told me it's not normal.
I shrugged off the comment, but I knew they were right.
The voices never try to be formal
and only seem to bug me at night.
I used to think what they said was true.
I'm okay now.  At least, I hope so.
You see, the one who saved me was you.
You were the only person who helped me grow.

They came back, and this time, not only at night.
I can hear them daily, chattering and being a problem.
I can't believe I thought I was alright,
and it seems there is no way to stop them.
I'm okay.  Don't worry about me.
After all, this isn't your issue.
This isn't the person you normally see.
Just hand me another tissue.

The voices are a part of me.  If they're lost, I'm not whole.
It seems like I've finally gone mad.
I know I'll regret this, but I'm no longer in control.
What I'm to do is incredibly sad.
I'll say sorry now.  You can't stop me.
You've already tried everything you could.
Don't watch and you won't see.
I've tried to stop them too.  I know I should.
This is it, but it'll be alright.
Just promise me you will stay.
I must go now.  I can no longer fight.
Everything is okay.
"Okay" and "fine" are relative terms.  Not everyone's version means the same thing.
219 · Mar 2020
The Hunt (Part One)
Growly Wolfus Mar 2020
Another night smotherest sun and day.
We playest cards for fun by candlelight.
Henceforth shalt it remain to be this way,
to never be plagued by another's plight.
I goest by the moon and stars for sport,
a hunt in wood during the darkest hour.
My greatest loyal friend protects my court,
my love sleeps soundly in the safest tower.
When I returnest on steed whence I came,
I see the smoke and rush back to my home.
My castle is consumed by growing flame;
my love hangs limply from the reddened stone.
My friend, no more, thou gaze upon it all
as the spark of fire and my dukedom's fall.

Thou dolt!  Buffoon!  Barbaric fool!  Thou hast betrayed my trust.
I stagger through the sundered stone in rooms where we'd imbibe
and cry upon the sullied ground 'midst things that hadst combust.
Enraged, I screamest in my home surrounded by thy lies.
A twist on Shakespearean sonnets with a rhyming storyline and some different cadence.  There's more to come!
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3745500/the-hunt-part-two/
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3745505/the-hunt-part-three/
213 · Dec 2019
Stubbed Wings
Growly Wolfus Dec 2019
You sent me to the earthly world on a mission.
To save all those I possibly could.
To protect humanity from Lucifer's hands
and save all of those who are good.

I'm sorry to say, I have failed You.
I've given up on all hope.
The only thing that can save them
is the forgiveness you have shown.

At first, I had faith, and I saved many.
But over time, it grew hard to work.
And as soon as I'd save one,
ten others would end up getting hurt.
The demons running rampant on the earthly world below
have destroyed everything sacred and taken a new form.
Their disguise is flawless and fooled even my eyes.
They are now the humans who continue to harm.

I couldn't understand it,
all the evil in human hearts.
But I soon found out
it was the demons tearing them apart.
The humans let them in and slowly watched as they grew.
They are working with Satan against everything You do.
I was disgusted by my discovery and tried to finish your work.
I lied to myself.  But as I went on, I knew it to be true.

It was time to get my hands *****.
I began killing those who'd known.
And something in me grew.
It infected every bone.
I could feel a fire in me as it devoured my senses.
It made me feel invincible as I killed the greatest sinners.
I felt no remorse.  Besides, this is what You wanted.
And I became known as the Demon Killer.

I realized the work ahead of me
and returned to heaven.
But they wouldn't let me in
because I was too human.
Forgiveness, they told me, was Your most gracious love
You gave to the humans and those who needed it most.
They took away everything from me and sent me back to Earth,
While criticizing my actions and banishing me from my home.

They deemed me a fallen saint,
an angel with stubbed wings.
I'd descended into darkness
and they abandoned me in my suffering.
I grew angry with their decision and kept working the way I did.
Killing all the sinners and wrongdoers of this land.
You sent after me angels, the ones who were my friends.
But You made me become a demon, and they were slain by my hand.

Then, the darkness I was fighting crept into my soul
and ate from inside me the last of my righteousness.
I saw the light flicker away and disappear from my life.
But I knew my actions would be rewarded for my perseverance.
Madness overtook me and evil coursed through my blood.
Satan had taken me, an angel, and made me one of is kind.
I hated myself for what I had done, and what I continued to do.
But there was no other way to save them that I could find.

The pain dragged me down;
it plunged me into Hell.
And I became trapped
in my shrinking cell.
It didn't make sense.  Nothing did.  And nothing ever would.
This pain was too much for me; this evil burning through my flesh.
I searched desperately for an answer to the problems plaguing me,
but I found none.  Unless...

I had already found the answer.
The solution to my pain.
Though I saw it a different way
until I went insane.
Death was the answer.  I was right all along.
Other humans had come up with it before me.
I can't handle the weight of sin.  I doubt I ever could.
But this answer is the only way to be free.

The blood on my hands
stained the stairs I climbed.
Higher and higher
as my past was left behind.
And out here on the edge
overlooking this cruel, doomed existence,
I ask You a single question,
my last ounce of resistance.

The birds have abandoned their songs
and here I am testing fate.
I let go of this world
and of everything I hate.

My question...

Here I am, a human,
an angel with stubbed wings,
fighting with God
and Satan, the Demon King.
I know what I've done wrong
and I'm sorry about it all.
But I want to experience forgiveness
before jumping off this wall.

So...

Will you catch me if I cannot fly,
or will you watch me die?
212 · Dec 2019
Outsider
Growly Wolfus Dec 2019
When you see someone you love slowly fade away,
a little part of you dies.
Watching their laughing eyes turn red
filled with tears and hatred towards themself.

You know you're an outsider to their pain
and feel you can't do anything to help.
Every time you try
they respond with "I'm fine"
and shut you out with a face hot with shame.

Hopeless and helpless
they lie to your face
whilst crying in your arms
before saying they're "ok"

depressed...

                                                     ...tired...
They think they're worthless
and cut themselves to release some of the anxiety
Their blood staining your clothes
as you watch from the sidelines

It doesn't hit you until...

                                            ...it's too late...

                                                                                   ...they're
                                                                                              gone...

So lend them a hand,
embrace them in your arms,
comfort their tears,
tell them you understand,
and tell them they're not "fine",
that it's ok to be sad,
                           and you'll always be there
                                             to keep up their smile.
You may be an outsider to their pain,
                    so break down the wall and let yourself in.
We all get sad sometimes.  But seeing others depressed makes me feel even worse, especially when I know I can do something.
209 · May 2021
Why do you lie?
Growly Wolfus May 2021
what eyes perceive,
what words deceive,
what death bestows upon us.
Ungrateful lot,
forgotten not,
but by the ropes that bind us.

Chained by hopes,
trapped in dreams,
and your toxic smile
promising
I'd be happy too
but never coming true.
207 · Sep 2019
Toxic Love
Growly Wolfus Sep 2019
"Hurt you, cut you, shoot you."  Still, you
can never seem to understand why.
"Burn you, hit you, curse you."  If you
do nothing you'll surely die.
You are sad and I am mad that you listen to the devil's kind.
These voices all fill your mind causing you to slowly go blind.

"Scare you, maim you, hate you, hang you, strangle you
until you choke."
"Ignore you, gore you, **** you before you
believe this all to be a big joke."
Hunt you, catch you, stop you, tell you
"You'll get through all this someday."
"Love you."  Laughs you, free you. thought you,
"Everything is now okay."
Happy you but angry I.  It felt as if you spat in my face.
I will **** you.  You must die for rejecting me in this way.
Ran from me, but now you see I only wanted some of your love.
Lie to be brave and think you're safe.  I'm the one you're running from.

Find you, rope you, **** you, ***** you.
Make sure you never forget.
Scar you, beat you, stab you, bleed you
out.  You're no longer a threat.
Run you out and cut you down.
Hide you where you won't be found.
Tell everyone you had drowned.
Screams heard not over the sound
of the rushing water.

...suffering no longer......
A lover's view on their partner's suicidal issues, becoming so fed up they **** them.
I wanted to try repetition, repetition, repetition.
194 · Jan 2020
You don’t know how I felt
Growly Wolfus Jan 2020
You don’t know how I felt
How you felt
How I felt
How we both felt the same
All the anger and pain
From your sick little game
You called love

You don’t know how I loved
How I yearned
How I craved
To be something I wasn’t
Someone who doesn’t
Get lost in the present
With you

You don’t get how I felt
How I was
How I am
You made me something else
Changing ourselves
Something I never wanted
To be

You don’t know how I hated
How I loved
How I hated
Your bittersweet words
That were more of a curse
Than a blessing for someone
Like me

You don’t know how I cried
How I sobbed in the night
How I lost all the light
All of it trapped inside of your hands

I cried from the pain
How my soul is forever stained
By the darkness you seeped into
My heart

These tears aren’t for you
They never will be
They are mine for only me and myself
For the hatred you left
Behind on that cliff
As the wind swept you farther away

I cry for myself
How I caused you to leave
How I made you feel how you did
How I didn’t understand
How I couldn’t understand
What you were always telling me

“I love you”

You saved me, then hurt me
Loved me, deserted me
Left me behind to rot
I loved you for how you were
You loved me for what you saw
And for what I only showed and wanted you
to see

You don’t know I felt
And now, you never shall
I don’t know how you felt all the same
It’s not fair how you left and now I have to
live without you

You ruined my life
Committed suicide
Destroyed my pride
Left me behind to die
alone in this world without you

You don’t know how I felt
How I hoped to tell
“I love you” to you someday

I’m the cause of your hate
You just couldn’t wait
long enough for me to say
Those three words

You don’t know how I felt
And these tears aren’t for you
They’re for me and all of my failures
Abandoned here in this world
I can’t be myself
ever again

You were the disease
I wanted to catch
The only cure for me
Have you ever been left behind?
186 · Jun 2021
come back
Growly Wolfus Jun 2021
The stars will never shine so bright
as your smile once did
nor the air feel so warm as your breath.
My home will never be as secure
as your embrace made me feel
nor my bed so comforting as your touch.

Please ...
                  I'm begging you ...

                               come back to me ......
186 · May 2022
Rally
Growly Wolfus May 2022
Rally of faces gathered in groups
build a large crowd crying for truth
shields of black night forming a wall
blocking the protest from getting through

Smokey haze of poisonous gas
tossed from above where the bright white cast
soldiers march in with gun and knife
darkness protected guarding its mask

Meaning lost, forgotten in pain
arrests and murders let free to take place
a movement disbanded by merciless force
and invalidated by terrible names

"Terrorists and bigots all who align!"
none to believe it true, but all remain afraid
of the government's arm to silence questions
and the wrath of unforgiving puppets

The Revolution is coming
pay wound with war
enough to join us
and tyranny will fall
181 · Oct 2019
Imagining Sadness
Growly Wolfus Oct 2019
The darkness, an embodiment of my world, stretches are far as my heart's eye can see.  The sadness weighs on me like the depth of the ocean, the cold waters washing over me in waves.  And out there is nothing but the emptiness of my soul poured out onto the sky as stars.  The evil of the world paints its own constellations, devouring the other lights.  A lonely moon, almost as lonesome as myself, gazes at me with pity like all the others.
I had asked for an escape from the world of pain, of anger, of hatred.  The people would laugh at me, call me naive for wishing only happiness.  I had raised their heads when they were low, lifted their spirits when they were down; and now, they don't help, just stare at my discomfort.  Their judging eyes uncover the truth, the horrible truth reminding themselves of their sins.  They see me and turn away, like looking into a cursed mirror.
The cold wraps me like a blanket in the winter, though it is more a veil of thorns.  Creatures from the darkest corners of my mind, shadows in the shapes of the constellations, reach out to me from the gloomy water, the only ones to offer a hand.  I turn away from them in frustration.  Why hadn't anyone else come?  The light of the moon dances upon the waves as they greet me on the white beach shore.  The weight of my sadness disperses upon the island.  The trees and plants dissolve to ash and fly away on the once hibernating wind.  It lashes at me madly, furious by its awake from eternal slumber.
The island beneath my feet grows smaller; nothing but a patch of sand where I lie is left.  The sand, particles of my depression sticking to my blue skin grow darker, consuming my flesh, degrading my bones, eating me from the inside out.  The creatures cry out with silent voices.  I stare at the constellations.  Nothing good could come of the world I'm living in.  There is no warmth in this infinite night.  I lend a veiny hand to the monster next to me, and, like a swarm, the creatures **** me into the black ocean.
Forgotten, abandoned, I sink into the depths, the weight finally lifted from my shoulders.  Looking up at the world I will never return to, a light shines upon me, a single flittering ray through the dark water, disappearing as I slowly fall deeper.  Struck with emotion never felt before, the thorns of the cold feel less painful and a shudder runs through my bones.
My body feels light, no longer cold but not yet warm.  The light has gone, the darkness now carrying my frail body to the dwelling place of the creatures of the night.  Calmly, I watch the last of my breath's bubbles float towards the surface of the water as I fall neatly into a resting place.  My arms and legs settle into the soft sand as I slip into an endless sleep.
What is it called?  I had heard of it before.  The foreign feeling fills me and soothes my heart and soul.  Death closes my glazed eyes for me.
Ah.  I remember.  Peace.
More of a short story than a poem but it's my interpretation of sadness. What do you imagine it to be?
169 · Dec 2019
The Cold
Growly Wolfus Dec 2019
The death gods breathed upon the earth
Sending upon us the winter most despise
The cold devoured all of the life
of every living thing in their abode

It ate into the people and creatures of the land
freezing all in its expanding domain
The world hung in melancholy suspension
As the universe itself began to slow

Such fragile beings of finite existence
Enshrouded by tendrils of ice
and blanketed by the climbing frost
Unable to escape the prevailing cold

The frigid force conquered all in its wake
Taking everyone hostage in its glacial arms
and giving some to the death gods
whenever their fangs showed

But the lasting winter kingdom was doomed to fall
As it did every year before
And spring fell onto the earth
to melt away the ghastly cold

Gone and replaced by the warm sun
the cold was disdained and forgotten
Its true meaning lost in time
only known by the gods of old

The cold brought rebirth, a chance to restart
It takes life but gives back much more
a sense of belonging to those of this world
as life was given back through melting snow

It takes some, yes, but instills in others
a will, a desire for more than to survive
But still, it is hated by most of the world
Its reason of being forever unknown
Isn't winter just misunderstood?
164 · Nov 2019
Breathless
Growly Wolfus Nov 2019
Every breath                 you take,
you steal from me.  Every look you give
keeps me guessing.  Every sound you make
causes my heart to beat.  Every kiss we
share is a divine gift.  Every moment
with you is a blessing.  Every time
you touch me, you put me
under your spell.
Breathless.
Silence.
Love.
159 · Aug 2019
Crazy Hokey Pokey
Growly Wolfus Aug 2019
You put your left foot in
You pull your left foot out
You put your left foot in
And wrap it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around
You've got a dislocated foot now

You put your right arm in
You pull your right arm out
You put your right arm in
And twist it all about
You do the hokey pokey
As you weep and cry with pain
While someone's calling your name

You put your left arm in
You pull your left arm out
You put your left arm in and twist it all about
You do the hokey pokey
As you slip out of your chains
And realize you're going insane

You put your head in
You pull your head out
You put your head in
And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
As you quake and sway with fear
No one else is in here

You put your head in
You pull your head out
You put your head in
And you bang it all about
You do the hokey pokey
As you bleed out on the ground
Laughing 'cause you'll never be found
I have NO IDEA how I came up with this.  It's stupid, but you might find it a little funny.
152 · Jul 2019
Gatherer
Growly Wolfus Jul 2019
I'm a gatherer, a humble being.
I dislike violence.  Only peace, I bring.
I herd people to see the light.
I gave up emotions and love for this right.
Evil fills the human race.
It'd be safer if they're all erased.
A maze I'm running through from which I can't escape.
A dream has captured me and I cannot awake.
The memories haunting all of my thoughts.
The key to my heart is forever lost.

These battle scars I have gained over time
show all my struggles and losses of what's mine.
I have not forgot
all the wars I have fought.
I recall all the pain
and the wisdom I've gained.
Sadly, all my work has been for naught
since I am now gone, the one who Death sought.
I am a lie,
a false entity doomed to die.

This is the last you'll hear of me.
After this I'll be forever free
from the pathetic, fleeting people
of this world called to kneel.
I came as a friend to change their mind,
but they wanted bloodshed not peace for their kind.

I am warning you of
the humans filled with evil and love.
Take our time and think things through.
I pass all my knowledge onto you.
You are the new gatherer.
Bring the truth to those who can hear.
You are a scribe but never tell,
or they will come after you as well.
I recall writing this poem after researching the atrocities people commit.  We all need to be saved.
151 · Mar 2022
Spring
Growly Wolfus Mar 2022
The robin sings its golden hymn,
the turtledove its coo.
While 'neath the spring of wet and damp
does life return anew.

The grass turns green, the snow to rain.
The trees bow to the sun.
As leaves sprout from their mighty boughs
where dewdrops drip and run.

Oh, how the old forgotten rot,
the sting of winter's wrath,
all melts away and heals in heat
as deer soon shed their racks.

A world rebirth so fondly sought
lest snows return again.
We seek the flower of new spring,
sweet solace such to send.
147 · Jun 2020
Silent Prayer
Growly Wolfus Jun 2020
The rain fell hard that day,
that day carved in my soul.
And not from anger did I cry,
nor happiness, nor woe.
I cried from pure acceptance
and the storm supplied my tears.
You're never coming back
You've reached the end of your years.

I grabbed the earth on which I knelt
and said a silent prayer.
I'll try to get to heaven,
so please, wait for me there.
This iniquitous demon
you pulled out from the mud
is trying hard to live
while you watch from above.

So wait just a little longer
as I try to save my soul.
I know I'm growing stronger,
not stuck in the muck below.
You are my saint and angel
so protect me in the night.
Help me with my demons
and take me to the light.
145 · Nov 2019
Love Story
Growly Wolfus Nov 2019
I wake up from my hellish nightmares
head throbbing
What had happened last night?
empty beer bottles stare at me
memories filter into my mind
black and grey and white
and...

Red.

Did I really do it?
Or was it a part of my dreams?
She's dead.
Isn't she?
It wasn't real.
It couldn't have been.

The kitchen is empty
I don't want to go back outside
Not yet.
The snow welcomes my departure
I'm surrounded by figures on this chilly day
their glitched faces blacked-out by my rage
and voices turned to static

Grabbing some food and a case of beer
passing through the crackling storm
She was the only face I could see
we were together for such a long time
I...I loved her.
Why did she have to leave!?

Running amidst the crowded street
winter winds howling in my ears
Her voice...the only one I could hear
Is she alright?
I have to check
I push against the flurry
my eyes welled with tears

I ring the doorbell numerous times
and toss all of my food in the blizzard snow
banging on the door
until it creaks open
the frame slightly broken
the glass of the second lying shattered on the floor

"I'm sorry," I stammer aloud
"I didn't mean to break it."
Eerie silence causes my head to ache
Some furniture was moved or tipped over
I fix it for her.  Perhaps she's asleep.
But why, at this time, is she not awake?

"Sorry to bother-" I start again
then it hits me like a bus
The memories come in like a flood
I open the door to her bedroom
her cold eyes stare back at me
my hands drip with her blood

The world becomes black and grey and white
and...

Red.
What do you make this world to be?  Everyone perceives it differently.  But I suppose the world is more colorful to me.  At least, the basic colors, you see.
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