He was glowing in my eyes
A blazing star that could never die
So bright that he made me cry

Dirt on my name never
My loyalty is forever
Dirt on my name never
My loyalty is forever

Never talkin ****
Never takin it
Now I take a hit
And pass the ****

Never sink to a putdown
Never will I be a letdown

If I go down I always know I'll never be out
I'm not in it to get paid ain't about all that clout
False laurels and accolades, not something to flout
People always frontin don't even know what they about

These fake people always say you ain't a fan of that
"Oh I bet you don't even know this, know that"
"Bet you don't really feel the way you feel" It falls flat
Don't need to put down, to know I feel so let's run it back

"Oh **** man, you a fan of that"
"Did you know this, know that"
"I feel you and I feel that"
No need to doubt some idle chit chat

Dirt on my name never
My loyalty is forever
Dirt on my name never
My loyalty is forever

Heard from a friend lost in the wild hadn't seen em in a while
Asked for my help and knew that I'd be there with a smile
Didn't matter to me that I had to walk there over four miles
Never turn the back on someone who I know trusts my smile

Always there to help and if you can't hit me back
Then don't worry just do what you can and stay on track
Never put myself in a position where I can't come back
And if I ever did I know I have Friends so I can fall back

That trusts been broken but I won't give in
Won't **** the trust I hold because a few gave in
Few scars on this back where they put the blade in
Forgiven but never will I let it be forgotten

Never forgetting that I can't trust them
And it makes me sad because I love them
But if all they have is that hate then **** them
Still unhappy knowing they can't love themselves

Dirt on my name never
My loyalty is forever
Dirt on my name never
My loyalty is forever
My loyalty is forever
This loyalty is forever

This love is forever

Sentience is life
Sanctity a lie
Sayin it alive

"I think therefore I am"- Descartes
So may as well be a slab of ham a part
Ship the guts off to a lab grow a heart

Social value before Science breakthrough
Society lies before Society lives
Public hysteria some Hateful euphoria

Cloud regulation
With false allegation
Corrupt litigation
By holy congregation
A rights desecration
In an uptight nation

Just keep livin in this feelin
Never am I beleivin
That **** thats written
Questin for questionin

Im losin
No reasonin
No serotonin

Jane, dope burnin got me floatin
Lucy dances turnin got me smilin
Druggy desperate runnin got me huffin

Huff and puff an puff, pass
One piggy in a house oh straw smokin grass
Nother piggys house of glass
Last piggys house of cards but, alas

Little piggys grow big and pass
One pig in the straw smoked over ash
Nother pig served with a glass
Last pig out of cards, alas

Last pig out of the farm
Free hog free from the harm
Hunted down with a firearm
Pow Pow hogs need not roam

No escapin the farm
Just dyin in a drugged calm
Or dyin strugglin in dirt, ****
So just chill and spread *****

New meat for the grinders
Fresh meat for the diners
Pigs aint **** but some dinners
For pigs with gold incisors

More than a bargain, it cost me more
But now my brains scattered on tour
Of every moment and place I hit the floor
No catharsis every stops been a chore

But I'm still looking to travel some more
Tonight my face hits the floor once again
I'm traveling through life on a tour
Feels like my body is the bus for my brain

I'm looking out the window as life happens to me
Sight-see mountains high and valleys low
Where the crows fly is where I'll be
The journey is slow and even though its all I know

A empty spot resides of another way to go
So another way is where I'll go
Till I crash and my body's all over the floor
And I 'll get up and look for more

Being alone leaves me lost in infinity
Ever chasing for my own ecstasy
Searching for something happily
Longing for another so sorrowfully

But together I just hate another
Disgust for life and the other
Hate myself and every other
Misanthropic, people lover

Lonely days fuel love and desire
But my days spent together
Leave me too tired to bother
God and the holy father

Have only ever abandoned me
Left me on a raft lost at sea
So I ice my pain with cold tea
And say "well, let's wait and see"

It's not them, It's you
Your not like them, more like you
Like you to defend yourself
You sit on a shelf
haunted by ghosts
Gather dust, to spite yourself
In spite of what you want
You spit in spite at your want
Stunted your growth, always fall short
Don't change, don't grow, selling yourself short
Pathetic and sad a dying man feeling glad
Think you're tall, think you're small
Unstable, you don't grow you'll fall
Your not perfect, your not even great
Think your perfect, don't even try to be great

Great greatness gets greater  
It grates greatly the grating gratifier
Ego stroker a chronic masturbater
Losing sight when everyone will cater
Man of masks an avid actor
Nice in summer
Friend in fairweather
See you later
When the sky is clearer

Follow lights the will-o-wisps
To red lights onto pillow slips
Walk under streetlight to pink lips

Everyone after green glow
Even if it means being a ***
J.Gatsby's after the afterglow

Peddlin their product, street vendors
Dealin in meat and being tender
****** in a backseat, body lenders

Crafting blissfull afterglow and after glow
Some call it sinful so callow although
Most aren't so shallow, chill in a bordello

Red lights swimmin in the air
Sanctity dyin without care
For sale tittys and derriere

Burnin blunts ash em in my soul
A few blunts in em and im cool

Scrape the resin till im smokin glass
Shut up an pass the ****** grass

Outsider sittin in the back of the class
Dark figure sittin in the back of the mass

I'm Sellin addiction, addicts seek my benediction
Movin the product, the holy ghost sellin salvation
So addictin pullin in the dead with my gravitation
Sell you your addiction for mine that ****** benjamin

Come to me for paradise
Feelin pain here's the ice

All I see is dead presidents
Eyes dead to the residents
Dyin for my decadence

**** a ******* with a needle
To buy a ****** gold fiddle

Jhonny may play his fiddle hot
But for the hotshot his fiddle I got

Ridin in the Mercedes benz
After I move a couple benz

Rottin the whole ****** hood  
Makin my bankroll look good

Jhonny boy givin me all his bread
Then come famine and he feelin dead
Jhonny boy robbin for scraps of bread

Jhonny boys mums bread used to get baked
This boy takin till his whole fam gets raked

Money funneled to me by the addicts
Jhonny is enforcin my pyramid schemes

I'm Sellin addiction, addicts seek my benediction
Movin the product, the holy ghost sellin salvation
So addictin pullin in the dead with my gravitation
Sell you your addiction for mine that ****** benjamin

I'll be drivin around at the seams
Collectin the green for my dreams

A real ****** nightmare on my street
Krueger with your dope sheet
Salesman with the ****** rapsheet

Killin users and abusers while I sleep
Makin a killin in back alleys I creep

Get customers lost in the nightmare
Then sell the lost a rotten cure
Maybe give em a little gear

Maybe im a travel planner
Sellin trips to wherever
Nah im just another killer
Sellin trips to the executioner

When the lord doesn't hear your prayers
To take away the pain I'll bring the wares
A couple pain pills and a few uppers
Just bring me the bills and the paper

I'm Sellin addiction, addicts seek my benediction
Movin the product, the holy ghost sellin salvation
So addictin pullin in the dead with my gravitation
Sell you your addiction for mine that ****** benjamin

Slinging drugs got somethin inside me broke
Cause i'd rather be out killen than be broke
Bring me the bricks and i'll move that coke
To all the froggys in the pond till they croak

All this movin got my numbers inflated
Got my ****** neighborhood inundated
Careful you dont get ****** ventilated

For a quick buck to take to the pusher
Bodies pile around me a deadly peddler
But ive never pulled the trigger
The passive killer, waterwell poisoner

Sell crack said the president
Fall though cracks residents
Money over morals the precedent
In slums slaves rent the residence

Differences lost in smiles
Have to walk for miles
Just to turn the dial
After awhile crocodile

Memory indexed in files
Haven't been checked in awhile
Staring at sheet piles
Trying to find my profile

Meanwhile while I wile away the time
Pass it with style and rhyme

I live in the clouds in the city of fog
Secrets are said aloud as if in epilogue
No vision is allowed in the murk and smog
Can only hear the turnings of the cogs

Believe in the machinations never seen
On the radio stations is a static scene
Of a rigged lotto making everything serene
Everyone climbing blind to be a golden king

Cant see stepping stones in the haze
But continue walking for days
A straight path nothing but a maze
Lies hidden in mist missed by my gaze

Absurdity is not real
everything means nothing
and nothing means nothing
nothing nothing nothing
…… hah it aint no thing

Woke up looking sideways
Time to get on the highway
Moving past my yesterday
No one to ask if I'm gonna stay
Wouldn't want it any other way
I have so little left in me to say
Woke up looking sideways
Pulled into different byways
One has my head in yesterday
The other took my soul to latterdays
Never given direction so I pave a driveway
I'll make the home where I can stay
Then watch ashes as I burn it anyway

Sell out a million for a billion
Bloodflow, cashflow all im feelin
Keep pumpin till oblivion
Aint no ceilin and corpses pile on

Unapologetic ******* cash rules everything now
Pathetic stay low and when I pass you better bow
Autokrat choose when the deathblow hits earth now
Fully automatic sell to to the Congo, cash for ammo

God is cash and im feelin like money
Only one I'll let in to heaven is me
Peasant blood best remember fealty
Best worship the ground beneath me

I Keep pushin on the system till it cracks
While its delegates write me a paycheck
They lick my boots while I crush your neck
They watch as you suffocate fear the plutomaniac

Blame it on the system
That never helped those within
Blame it on the depression
That furthers a spiritual recession

Blame it on those around me
That ignore, deciding not to see
Blame it on the one at the center
That ignores the cold in winter

The blame rests on my back
The blame rests on all I lack
The blame rests there till I crack
The blame so restless a heart attack

As I fall into an abyss thoughts turn black
Hard fought steps forward just to fall back
The last call back as I step right off the track
Stand tall even as I sink into the depth lost in cracks

Cracks like valleys and in valleys a kindness
Escape from happiness and all that brightness
Lights so painful to my shadowed eyes  
Fights and spite my dark outcries

Lost in the shadow of the valley
The fire of rage snuffed nothing to rally
Acceptance of blame so biased is folly
Is there any blame out there really

The blame dies in my thoughts
The blame dies in my throat
The blame is just a frame caught
Snapped and shuttered shot

Nothing to blame when nothings wrong
Bad break after bad break nothing wrong
Abandoned by those close, nothing wrong
Expectations and high hopes somethings wrong

Assumptions of happiness and fulfillment
Consumption of giddiness and achievement
Got me dying of consumption
Lost in my own assumption

Get ****** over get put down doesn't matter
Bad luck but I still get up and it doesn't matter
Dont deserve any of it not the enemies not the hate it dont matter
Don't deserve any of it not the friends not the love it dont matter

I could die sad and alone completely undeserved
Or surrounded by those closest completely undeserved
I deserve nothing and if I get everything its completely deserved
For all my work to die in a gutter or a home is what I deserve

Friend of mine lost his mind
Line by line  he left it behind
And he left me in kind

Burnt brain, burnt foil
Emotion came to boil
Turned black as oil

Laughter died long after the eyes
The lies he plied were just a guise
Never wise in a bed of maggots and flies

Grass and leaf
A gross relief
Passive release
Never to cease

The herbivore, is such a bore
Covered in gore, decay mi amore

Aimless wanderlust
Aimless wonderlust

To live, to eat
To procreate

Wander over yonder
Never stop to ponder

When enemies turn to friends the time of mercy begins
When friends turn to enemy it's time for mercy to end

Poems filled with different words but they feel repetitive
Words filled with different meaning but they feel repetitive
Mind filled with different thoughts but they feel repetitive
Soul filled with different parts but they feel repetitive
State filled with different beliefs but they feel repetitive
Country filled with different people but they feel repetitive
World filled with different walks but they feel repetitive
Time filled with different events but they feel repetitive
History filled with different tragedy's but they feel repetitive
Life filled with different cycles and they feel so repetitive

We write down the sadness in ours souls to cope with the passing
I write my sins I write my hate I write my sadness and its repeating

As a society looking the other way when did this become okay?
I think it was yesterday when we made our way from oversea

Came from the isles where they subjugated the whole world
Hate held in humanity's heart since Carthage evil we hold

I cant see a bright future ahead when our future is in our past
When I see everyone repeat the same mistakes only one thing lasts
The repetition of pain and misery in future, present, and past

Go door to door sleeping on different floors
Friend to friend living on friendships till they end
I'm a chore waiting outside your door
I'll leave your heart bruised and sore
And then I'll wander once more

Doors open to me before I close them behind me
Live here till they don't see a friend when they look at me
Can't stand a driftless loser whose drowning in a sea of apathy
When you remember the past I hope that I'm an absentee
I was pushed away and you deserve better than me

We used to talk at the lunch table and laugh all day
I felt joy with you when all there was, was gray
At recess, we would sit and talk and laugh all day
I felt a connection with you and had so much to say
Now we sit on the couch and talk and cry all day

Life keeps getting colder and we keep getting older
You made something of yourself moved much bolder
Every weight and sad day you would shoulder
While I sat under a tree and laughed into october
Laughed away the day until my heart froze over

Mostly I smoke **** and don't do much of anything
Something I'm interested in? no there's not a thing
Maybe I could just die if a bee would choose to sting
Relax in flower fields, watching the bees in the spring
Death fluttering over buttercups while I eat a fairy ring

"Relax", "Slow down", "What's the big deal anyway"
You really just have so much you want to be and to say
But I don't have much I want to be and really whose to say
I'll get out of your way, your right I guess I just get in the way
And its okay if we never talk there's not much to say anyway

Goodbye.

Rolling dice in the garden of eden
Take chances so my heart will keep beatin
Got a bad hand but I'm still goin all in
Greed and avarice is my choice of sin

Gold chains are what I want  choking my throat
A sinking feeling on a sailing boat
Need gratification to stay afloat
Feelin sick I'm greener than my banknotes

Take risks play games with my life for a chance
My life interwoven with my finance
Paper and tokens have me entranced
Material things have me romanced

Things always there when I reach for em
Name your price and ill hit the atm
Ask for my soul and its no problem
Losin blood, sweat, and tears its no problem

Love can be bought
Friends can be bought
People can be bought
Rights can be bought

Money and chance is what I call god
I have lived life committing fraud
When life is so deeply flawed
You have to make your own god

Worship something in a sea of nothing
Statistic and chance the sweet nothing
Of something intangible feels so loving
Imaginary value and numbers my calling

Wake and bake, feel the pain
Shake and puke, rotten grain

Nothing is forever
Nothings end is never

Nothing will be there in the end
In the beginning nothing will I tend

Till nothing is all I shall reap
Nothing in my heart for me to keep

Floating in the ocean of emotion
Lose myself in slow motion
Body feels the flow and erosion

Use oxytocin and psilocybin
To polish off the corrosion
Feelin the rocking emotion

ignore all the lies
and think of apple pies
a stranger dies
a sparkle in my eyes
no one will defy
no one will cry
don't listen to their lies
believe in apple pies

Look at that skin bag out playin tag with rusty nails
Lookin for guts for stuffin but found rags on sell
Always fails always fails maybe this is just hell
Another sad tale another nail on the coffin
Losin it lookin pale and unwell keep him talkin
Or silent return to nothin aint that somethin

Maybe the real treasure was the money we made along the way

Cook our intelligence
Look at the belligerent
Hate filled hornet nest
Continent of ****** pest
Fumigation of the U S

litigation red tape
when a sticky red fate
gets caught on tape
Oppression communicate
When killers walk out gratis

CIA, FBI, NBC, All of them be
Lying to me, cause the tv told me
this was the nation of the free

**** that we are a nation of slaves
Haven't evolved since yesterdays
Declaration freedom from tyrants
Then drove the natives to tears
Never equal when they see ants

Regicide of a king who had a dream
Martyr the leaders to slow the steam
Now the nation burns its mainstream

ACAB, SRA, BLM, All of them be
Talking to me, cause life told me
That freedom it ain't really free

Data stream use instant transmission
Every one, one team with one mission
Can silence a king how about a nation
All chasing the dream of compassion
Fighting mace and tears with passion

While our president hides in his residence
Plotting with pence on building a fence
And Biden forgets he was the antecedent
Passed in 1997 military gear to the precinct
Two party election, its insanity or compliance

That trump boy works with Geppetto
Puppet and toy to masters he echos
Funny money, president to get dough
String pullers they really made a show
Now the polls they swinging so low

But Biden's another flunky
Dancin to the biddin of ******
Oligarch kings of the country
Sayin dance you ****** donkey
**** the country till it walks funny

Scared of the protest they cant contest
Plants in the crowd to **** interest
Cant fold wont be fooled by insects
Declare a war on our country's best
Commit war crimes in blue vests

I don't know where our future will go
But if we keep movin and never slow
Where we're goin is better than now
Yesterdays wounds will heal I know
This nightmare could end tomorrow

Maybe this was never the land of the free
But it could be if we wanted it to be
If we plant the seed nurture it and see
Keep it safe from greed's insanity
Nurture it with bodies of the bourgeois

Pop a bubble, bubbles pop
Bubble up, bubbles stop

The words enter you face
And replace its empty place
What a waste

Being alive these days feels like a crime
Punishment in the smog and crushed limes
Drink till it stops come pay your fines
Then work your way back through the line

Get higher get tools get cash
More fire more fuel more ash

Trace threads on your bed
Face the dead in your head

Gold plated saints lead us over the edge
Black tarmac crumbles on the ledge

Dreamers can stay in their comas
Workers can dream of some commas

rent rent rent die

The light went out a mile back
But I'll walk forward in the dark
Empty roads mirror what I lack
I'm busy, I'm out on a lark

Too busy for you and me
So find someone else to see
Cursed with popularity
Time lost in entirety

**** it blow off another friend in need
A little time alone is all I need

I'm barely worth all this time
That everyone gives my rhymes
Everyone given me time
And then they ask me for mine

But I'm used to being alone
So I'll just blow you off
And go get ******
Just let me off

I'm so tired all the time
then everyone hits me up
To give me time
And ask for mine

So used to being alone
Not used to all these people
Only sulking on my own
Thought I was a *******

Never thought people could like me
More than I can even like me
Don't know how to function without
Being on my own and without

I have it all still I stand in the dark
Empty roads a mirror to what I lack
So many people are standin at my back
Trying to keep it all is makin me crack

Im running away every day
More and more words to say
I guess things will never be okay

Water soon to be a hot commodity
Ten years at most till we trade bodys
For a drink and everyones an enemy

The elders scarred my back and ripped out my heart
Abusers who feathered and tarred every upstart
They partied while the childs life fell apart

I hate them all no love left, ***** soon to be in our court
But the ***** ****** flat and the coach said we fell short
We could've built a future but instead they made it sport

Well they won and their children lost
Never did care about us and that hurts the most
Or maybe what hurts is that I won't mourn the ghost

Ten thousand years and we're still peasants
Now the ruling class hunt us like pheasants
Presently they act like their oppression is a present
When we act ungracious get gassed till we pleasant

They never cared when opioids hit the street
Why would they when their the pusher
Catch you with drugs they sold and they're the punisher
Arrest an addict and then in the cell they **** her
Evil ******* in the force enforcing like predators
Live life proper and you'll still end up behind bars
If blue stars decide your life offend theirs

Armed like the military and they declare war
On the peasants fighting brutality and alls fair
Might mace a kid cause his skin aint fair
So much pain and I'm no believer but I send a prayer
For every Trayvon Martin and every Tupac Shakur

If we're being real police have never helped me
All they do is spread fear and imprison the free
They'd shoot a man for taking a knee
But let a murderer walk free
Police cause chaos in the street
So defund the police and lets see
If we can have peace, finally

It takes is one chance to make it
It takes is one rope to bite it

All these demons fiending for some redemption
But I'm thinking they just want some attention

That won't cut it so I cut it up on the dance floor
Cut it up cut it up snow white runs out the door

Been up a day, no we've been up for days
From suns first ray until stars escape the skies

Feels like its all overrated but its just all overdue who knew
Hearts aerated fillin gaps with the same old but act like its new

Someone asked me for the time so I gave them the time of their lives
Fancy umbrellas witha side of lime lets drink to our many vices

For us there is no boring ending to all this partying
Just a constant tightrope walking and death defying

Shadow looms over the patriot nation
Darkness blooms over rot and revelation
Sadness runs across the holy nation
One under god Indivisible stagnation

Cant pray the disease away rotten to the core
Maggots fester in its brain as it screams for more
Cursed land of plenty parasites in every pore
Tragic fates for all who hate and adore

The past is genocidal our forefathers were homicidal
Get the pesticides and apartheid **** the undesirable
Dont think wrong, look wrong, be strong just be small
Cause above all this country is for the weak and frail

Small minds create the law Frail hearts preserve order
We ****, enslave, then set aside to create the mortar
Built the rails of immigrant backs got our labor mail order
Shipped them from Africa to be the chained and stabled labor

We committed upon humanity nuclear holocaust
And to be sure we did it again at reasonable cost
Landed on the shores and it would've all been lost
Found a savior and on a trail of tears they were cast

Now we stand divided by our caste by our birth
Left to escape the kings only to crown our first
There's a humor in this storied past a dark mirth
A nations hero complex perverted by imperial thirst

Conception of endless consumption capitalism's
Inception with bad intention left no options
They say socialism is communism and communism's
The devil all red looking for our destruction

Jesus has a Gucci  cross and Versace rags
Status and money worshiped in all these rags
News of the second coming stocks on the rise
Every day another person dies so a bottom line rise

And these people want to be crushed underfoot
Protesting protection demanding oppression
The uneducated pedestrian Loves licking boots
Complacent peasants never gonna change succession

Evil and corruption isn't only at the top look at us
***** in a *** make change seem like it treasonous
Cant even discuss trying to change the U.S.
Without some ******* saying just get off the bus

If you wanna see evil all you gotta do is look at the street
Where they'll lay you out and take the shoes off your feet
Everyone desperate poor man rob a poor man to eat
Everyone's addicted everyone's a deadbeat debts on our sheet

Sometimes it all feels hopeless like I'm helpless
To systemic problems made to chain my dreams
Only thing keeping me going is all my friends
I cant change the past or even the now nevertheless

I still exist and I am forced to coexist with this mess
Everyday historical its forecast oncoming endless stress
Every year piles on the duress death creeps in the press
Whispers in my head wonder if I could care less

Tired of caring about **** I cant change
Of a living in a  life I didn't make
Emptiness and regret/Contempt and rage
Emotions flipping  page to page

Once so loud gone quiet, read our lives plot synopsis
Where is pride when you live in edges of solipsis
In a stones shade I am alive treading after sisyphus

Twenty two years I made it I survived
Sometimes back in nineteen ninety eight I wish I died
Every year I see more clear where we steer
Those at the helm speak and all I hear is fear

Hope couldn't cope so he did dope went to sleep never to be woke
Hopeless and could care less I have to confess I'm broke
Light pockets and a heavy heart as a child torn apart, ****
Light at the end of the tunnel but the caves end is dark

American raised told "not even the sky's the limit"
Eatin rice and pain I just cant feel it
"all the dreams yours the greatest ever" how they sell it
Hope for the future, for better days, its sold for profit

American raised so I party my life away
Drugs and rock'n roll keep reality away
Movin forward when I stop forever I lay
In dirt debts catch me and I cant pay

------------------------------------------------------------­--

Heels real and imagined grind on my skull
To the hospital at the bridge pay the toll
Rich and territorial start up a poll
For how many poor they will cull

Put on vans with the worn out sole
Head to work and fill my role
Everyday I sell out losin my soul
Getting harder to keep my cool

When everything is ****** life or death
Break a bone lose it all in a breath
Cant afford the upkeep on my teeth
So I hang with friends and smoke leaf

All decay all falling apart losing heart
Calls today say your wasting it your so smart
**** them I dont even know how to start
Writing on the wall saw it on a plummeting chart

Collapse into the past we wont last
The fashion is getting trashed
Faded today tomorrow I'm passed
Curtain called coffins filled with ash

Saw beauty once and someone bought her cash
The city lights are pretty but its a world behind glass
City streets are gritty and you'll get taken with the trash
Acid streaks, empty cars, jump and you won't make a splash

Tell me who you are
And did he get you far

Hate the voices in my head, they talk and talk
They can't stop cause they want me dead

Want love want life want another day
Nowhere left to go not okay not today

Take it day by day thats what they say
Take two pills today take me away

Nothings free especially not me
Soul on the deed sold for free

Tin flavor under the skin
Sins everywhere I've been

I'm the voices in my head
And my tongue is lead

It began on a Despairing Night:
I was the most Depressed Laborer around,
He was the most Fake Delusion.

He was my Friend,
My Fake Friend,
My Delusion.

We used to Sleep so well together,
Back then.
We wanted to Die together,
We wanted it all to end.

But one Night, one Despairing Night,
We decided to Lie too much.
Together we Chased Death.
It was Pathetic, so Pathetic.

From that moment our relationship changed.
He grew so Lonely.

And then it happened:

He Lived Life.
My Friend Lived Life.

The next day I thought my mind had broken,
I thought my Life had burst into flames,

But still, He is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that Night,
That Despairing  Night.

When I think of that Fake Delusion,
That Fake Delusion and me.

The family only ever hit me up for some money
Never gave a hand out they'd only bite it, its funny
A broken home, all claimin blood thicker but its runny
Never felt love I feel the rain even when its sunny

My father addicted to the pills and quick thrills
Drunk eyes vacant glazed over one day this will
**** he will leave me so I left him up on the sill
We don't speak no more cuz he just keeps poppin pills

My uncle the funniest coolest of guys
He robbed me and left me with lies
On me he pulled out the gun and knives
We meet it'll be the end of one of our lives

My aunt found happiness in a bottle
Her my grandmother would coddle
Her who would steal to sip from the bottle
Lost her kindness and heart now she wobbles

My mother whom I loved so dearly
Kicked me out and made me see clearly
Love isn't for me I know now sincerely
Even now I know she feels so guilty

My grandmother bipolar love disorder
Her love was always stuck on the border
But never for me did it ever falter
For the rest, though she was an enabler

Cousins addicted to **** and to theft
So many reasons for why I left
But now I just feel completely bereft
No family anymore their final theft

Say I live in insanity
I say your lost in sanity

Stone age tactics back stage with the tactical
Neck gets cracked late stage its practical
Flak jackets in vogue situation critical
Situation critical situation cyclical