I don't care if I die a ******
*I just wish I could meet my true love so that something will make me not want to die

I don't want love out of life anymore
I don't want anything out of life anymore
I just want to walk in the river of souls
*And let myself go

I loved the pain
I let it go
And it came back
To stay.

Reality,
You're so close
It's smothering
But my mind
It's stuttering.
*******,
You're all in my sights
You got me so weak
I don't know how to react
Realness these days is so meek.
Guilt and regret,
You got my stomach empty
And my eyes so sleepy
You got me sweatin
You have me inside wishing all I was doing was forgettin.
Reaper,
Man, I know you ain't a creeper,
I know you Karma's keeper
And you our ******* teacher
If things only went the way I preferred...
Death,
I think about you hard and heavy
As I try to keep my heart beat steady
But I'm just not ready
For my brain to be useless spaghetti.
Heart,
You just can't do it yet
You get way too upset
Now we in this puddle of regret
How we gonna get you fixed?
Mind,
You blow **** out of proportion
Make the worst assumptions
And get my heart to pumpin
All for nothin.

A thousand words
A thousand times
Words we know
That are lies
“I'm fine."

Life feels so **** long
But it's so ******* short

My life is the sky
The ground is my death
To all the Gods people do or don't pray to
Wonder which one will be there after that last breath
All we can do is try
But really our life is in the sky

Life let me go
There's nothing to hold onto
Nothing
Cut my string
   give the rest to someone who deserves it
End my life line Life
Life, friend, you're holding onto nothing, just like someone who holds onto the love that is no longer there
If there's nothing to hang onto you're falling
Life let me go
There's nothing, nothing good what's so ever by holding on to me
But if there is I don't know it
So tell me
Tell me if there is
I know there's nothing
No one wants to know my story
My story is not worth your two cents

*Life loves everyone and when it's time death falls in love with you too. And life may miss you while death has given you his kisses, but after a while, you may fade away from life's memory.

Life is like porridge
Never get discouraged
Sometimes hot sometimes cold, you never know what the future holds.
And for those lukewarm moments
You have the world and own it
In your heart and it will never depart.

Rain water soaks us
Runny mascara, but you still think I'm beautiful
Lips so soft
Lips so sweet
We're pressed up against each other
Bare chest to bare chest
You on top
Me on bottom
Hips locked in place with the other
Warm soft sweet lips slowly caressing my body, my lips and my neck you **** on
Soft gentle hands caress my ******* thoughtfully
Finally, her lips reach my thighs, I, trembling with lust and fear
I was scared and she knew it
Her hands and lips touched me
*So softly, so gently

For once, I need to be alive.
**** me and revive.
**** me and revive.
“Will reviving ever work?”
Rid the body, and never lurk

What made someone fall in love with you is often what made them fall out of love with you.

Made a poem about sunglasses
Has a lot of shade

Lonely silence is the loudest silence of all
You always notice it
It's in the air around you
And inside of you too
And when you get home
After locking the door
The silence is louder
You set your keys down on the table
Goto a fridge full of food, but there's nothing to eat to make this lonely silence go away
You go up stairs to your bedroom
To a neatly made bed and books scattered among the floor
You take off your jacket and clothes
Then leap into the shower
You can still feel the silence
And it's weighing you down
You slide down to your knees wearing a frown
You want to cry but sit there till the water runs cold
Then slip out and put on a night gown
You lie in bed thinking this boring life never gets better and will I ever get better? Will I still be lonely forever?
Then you close your eyes as billions of the same questions run around your mind just like every night
Then you fall asleep
After drinking your bottle of solution and downing all the gin you could take before finally dying
And now you've woken up from a dream you were hoping was real
Just like every night
*It's full of lonely silence

Look inside
My sanity is splitting like hacked up wood
I cannot hide
All my woes, they have control
I can't wade the tide
My well's too dry to cry
Where is my pride?
The same place I got discouraged
So guilty I lied
I did warn before due time

Two roads
One a neverendding cycle
The other leads to a dead end
I'm lost
And this map isn't making sense
My crying isn't helping
Neither is the rain
Why does a broken heart bring about so much pain?
Which road do I take?
Should I turn around?
Is this just a mistake?
No
Turning around is just worse
**** it
I'll take the dead end
The tears are still falling
But I am now smiling
Life is but a road that ends
I just want to have fun before it says "DEAD END"

I stare at myself in the mirror a long time
Wondering why I'm here and not out living my prime
The girl under this make-up, lost and forgotten, she always wears this mask that covers her mass destruction
She destroyed herself to make herself feel loved
She starved herself
She purged herself of everything society saw bad
She covered up her insecurities with concealer and mascara
She put on a smile to cover her frown
She covered every bit of herself up and suffocated her slowly
Now the girl in the mirror, she's always remembered, but the girl under her body and personality mask is now lost and forgotten

Every time I stand in front of a mirror
I see everything on myself I hate

My face, my body, my feet, my hands, my weight

I don't even want, love, or accept myself because of my own self hatred
I can't fathom what's wrong with me
Everything is, nothing is
I can't even make my own mind up right
I can't even understand the messed up **** in this subconscious of mine
I just can't figure me out
I'm a mystery to myself, unsolved, untold, unexpectedly twisted in this void heart of mine
I'm something of a mist, you can feel it, you can see it, but you can't figure out why it's always here, you can't figure out how lost it makes you, you can't find yourself in this low cloud of anguish
The only thing in this mist is me, me trying to find the real me
*I'm all on the outside looking in
I'm still lost even within

I lost us
What never was us
What relationship we had was thinly faint
It was but a glance in the hallway
A half second of eye contact
You were the beautiful one
I the ugly one
You popular
And me invisible
It was inevitable
That we were born best friends
And die strangers
I thought you'd remember me
But instead you barely recall me when I try to say hello
I always overhear you and your friends call me weird
Strange
But when we were kids we swore to never part for more than a day
That promise broke into a million pieces
Not because of me
But because of us
We lost what never was and never will be

Love is painful
Real love is where you choose to go through that pain for someone and that someone does the same for you
And you both try your hardest to make the pain go away in each other

I don't think love lies
It's people's mouth and people's eyes
That makes these things up that hurts inside
No one is a gift anymore
True love between two exists nevermore

I find you so scary and amusing
I'm scared to experience you
And I find how amusing it is that people are controlled by you
I'm scared of falling for someone
Someone who's going to break my heart to pieces
I'm scared of hurting more than I already do
You're amusing
Cause I don't think you can touch me
And if you do I can escape easily
I know it's not true
That you can't touch me and I can run away from you without you catching up to me or coming back
I'm not clever nor cunning enough to do that
I never want you to touch me
That's maybe why I hate being touched and touching other people
Or feel you
But I will

You're scary and amusing
So light and heavy
And you help fix and break hearts
People who use you breaks hearts
People who are broken sometimes get fixed by you
Saved by you
I find you scary and amusing
*And for a good reason too

Oh, no!
          Let us
Rush from your hips
And grab your attention
Let us not mention
What you need
Let us not
Grab bowls full of greed
The tremors will come one day
That'll rock your world into something greater
Just you wait
She'll give you her everything
The everything she claims you can't handle
The everything she claims is limitless and **** near timeless from beginning with no definite end
It can last from hours to days
The sweetness she'll be milking from the shadows between your legs...
Girl, it's so enticing
The way we'll be speaking
In the nightly hours into the days
The way we'll be kissing till we're completely breathless
The way you'll lay your passion down on me, it'll be your little piece of cake
It's something to dream for and more
It's something to yearn for and beg for between bed sheets of my heat and your passion
The collision of our worlds becoming one, will be a magnificent one
Don't you dare hold back
I'll be welcoming your attack
I'll take you in till I can't anymore and then some,
I want you fully pleased till I'm beyond exhausted
Hopefully, your passion won't break me
And if it does, I'll be the loveliest of broken things

"I choose you.
I love you.
I will love you tomorrow
And the next day
And the next day
And the next day
Untll my heart stops beating to love you."

Love me till I'm gone and my blood is spilt
Love me till I'm no longer breathing and our time is jilt
Love me even when my soul travels to where it be
*Love me
Love me while I'm still here
And I will love you too

I would sooner die than cry again
Don't you understand I don't want that mortally wounding pain?
I hate crying
It's when I feel ugliest
I rue being vulnerable
It's a wonderful but tedious thing
It's got a fragility that shouldn't be broken, yet everyone has done this to the most undeserving victims of love and infatuation
I can never tell you how I'm truly feeling, I can only give you the undercover story
Telling without telling, whispering secrets without whispering
It's a wonder you still stay around
I am your caged earth
Your heart is in it
You can run away at any time
Why do you stay, My? Why?
It'll take forever to save me
Life is just a crazy delusion
Even after death, it has no conclusion

If the love always feels the same
May it's your heart that's playing games

Bend
Luck bend to my will
Give me something, and these ****** I will ****
Popping back some sleeping pills
Trying to introduce a new thrill
My emotions? I ain't got time to go up that hill
I need something new, something with some *** appeal
Something sweet, something I can devour in one whole meal
I need the energy I could get from a rock of crill
Time ain't cheap, life ain't trill

I train my throat,
To take the smoke
But not to make these lyrics dope
Though I'm here to stay as I hoped
I'll smoke ya spirits and hope you choke

I have all this music in my head,
With no knowledge on how to get it out of my mind.

Make me disappear
Make me go away
Make me understand this brand new place
Make me fall in love and melt my misery
Make me never leave this scenery
Make me see without my eyes
Never spill those little white lies
Make destroying me look beautiful and destroy me with the most beautiful hurricane ever seen

Maybe one day I'll see me the way you see me
Beautiful, smart, talented, extraordinary, and weird
"The good kind of weird" you always say, "That's what you are. Nice, smart,talented, sweet, beautiful, shy, and weird. The good kind of weird."

I don't even matter anymore
So why can't I walk out that door
Why can't I just give up without failing to do what I set out to do
*I don't matter to myself
So I don't matter no more

I mean a lot to people, but I don't mean a lot to me....

I never knew, I never thought
A kiss could make me so hot
And excited
To get closer to your soul
I didn't get the hype at all
It's just a kiss
Well, not at all
Your kiss just isn't a kiss
It makes me melt into a boiling puddle
What do you do to me!?
I can't even think when you connect your lips to me
It's like a hotline to a psychic's mind
I can't stop it
I'm hypnotized
You've ****** me in with those brown eyes
Lol
I'll admit, what did most of the work were those soft sumptuous clever lips

I wonder if anyone will actually see me. The real me. The serious me. The weird me. The rude me. The nice me. The me that everyone says that's beautiful apparently. I wonder if anyone will see through that fake me thing I use everyday. The fake me where I don't know what to say, the one that's always quiet because of what she thinks inside, the one that never really shares her opinions or feelings to the world when she wishes she could,  the one that hides because of the fear of being judged.
I wonder if anyone saw through my fake me. But I'm sure no one did. Otherwise I probably wouldn't hate me.

Ya know, I have so many girls, and so many guys fawning over me
And you want to know why I still willingly choose you
And the reasons why are **** near unexplainable, but I will at least try to do it this one time
I like the way you read my mind
The way you read my heart is even better
I'm sure if you had the time you'd read every single page of me
And you still want me to explain why
Why do I find you beautiful?
And perfect
It's because you challenge me when I need it and mended my crumpled heart
And it is the way you'll give in to me and read your heart to me on freshly written pages
And...it is...
Because,
I am so happy you think of me as beyond beautiful
And not the **** guys get from my lips
Or the **** girls get from the stare of my eyes
Or the crease of my smile
And I am happy because you find my shadow **** and my smile as your happiness
P. S. This might not be the sweetest thing you'll hear.

Here I am
In front of the mirror
With him behind me
Loving my beauty
But when I turn around, he doesn't exist
And we can only see each other in the mirror
In my dreams I see him in a pool of water and I've only seen him beside me in my reflections
My mirror
The only source of my very fantasies
That I just feel I can't live without
Because the world is so empty,and,yet so full of everything and nothing
But no matter how good he makes me feel in my dreams or in my mirror
It hurts that I love him,thou he's not there
And what the mirror gives me is worthless in reality
Because it keeps me hoping he's out there even when everything is telling me he's not
And I guess that's why I need that mirror
It gives me my hopes, my dreams, and my impossible meanings
So, I guess it's not completely worthless
What the mirror has given me
It isn't just hope, or a dream, or something I just can't reach
But something I can try to achieve
to make me happy
In the mirror, he sees this sad cruel world I'm in, trapped and unsafe
He wants to get me out, but can't
The mirror only shows us what we want
And what I want, is for him to be here with me
And it can't, it doesn't have the strength to
No one does
But the reflections in that mirror only act out my pain
The pain of what I'm missing
And the painful stare of the truth

I realized the only place I was looking for beauty was in the mirror
I looked in my heart and saw I was ugly there too
I saw something just as bad in my heart
**A mirror...

I lost it
I lost my poem mojo
Thoughts piled higher than an air balloon shaped like a kite
I'm scrawling all over the page
Just to say what is near the tip of my tongue
But...Air
And only air is escaping my tongue's grasp
So the page ends up balled up
Spread into a crumble onto the floor
My day rinses and repeats
With my sprawlings traveling to the door

The moment I explain to you how my mind's chasing my heart
And my heart is running the arctic of my soul you'll never get it
It's brilliant really
How I'm so non-resilient
And Darwin's theory has it's momentary achievements
This is the time to reinvent
So sorry I'd rather be beneath pavement

The real monsters can be rather close to you...
*Whispering in your ear to you...

I'm not a boy right?
I'm not some ******* **** on the street
I'm a female because of my body parts
I'm supposed to know how to cook, clean, and groom myself
I can wash my ***, boil water for noodles, and I can brush my hair and teeth
Shouldn't that be enough?
No it's not
I have to loose weight because I have no business being that big, I should be a size zero
I'm sick and tired of feeling horrible everyday because of how I look
I'd be better off dead

You say these hurtful things like I don't even know
I know I'm over weight
I know I'm not the prettiest girl out there
But you reminding me, and pointing out what's wrong with me isn't going to help
I'd be easier to be a boy, I hate the curse I was born with

I should never trust you again
You wear two faces
And you wear two masks
I can't tell neither from the other
I don't know when you're real or when you're fake
But most of the time you're a faker
A bluffer
And a drama maker
And I don't want those things around me
But unfortunately I'm related to that thing for the rest of my life

You "Speak your mind,"
And,
"Don't hold your tongue"
And,
"Right is right"
And,
"Wrong is wrong"
Until,
it is your child that is involved
You make up every excuse
While slaining others for the same?
Ha
Ha
Ha
Absolute moot.
Don't give someone a pill that you can't swallow.

Three girls jumping rope
“One, two, someone's coming for you"
I couldn't help but listen to the old song I used to sing
“Three, four, never open up your door"
I never noticed it had an erriness to it
“Five, six, grab your-"
A piercing sound drums in my ear
Waking up the first thing my eyes see is an old horror movie on TV
“Opps, must have fell asleep."
Click

Let go
Don't worry
Fix what you can **now.