"stepdad" poems
Disappointment hurts more than anything.
Actually, no scratch that. "Feeling" like a disappointment hurts more than anything. Honestly, I feel like my whole life is a disappointment...but not because of me, but because of life in general. Life isn't fair and it won't ever be. Miracles happen, but you have to have your eyes open to see them. My eyes have been forced shut. Forcefully shut by society. A society that no longer has faith. None. Me, I have faith. And I've read that the smallest faith will move mountains. The mountain in front of me; disappointment. Waking up daily knowing that the smallest thing can cause any disappointment. From who? My loved ones. My mother. My Stepdad. My brothers. Everyone. Oh, you can't get out bed today because you are so overwhelmed; DISAPPOINTMENT! Oh, you want to move out and spread your wings; DISAPPOINTMENT! Oh, your alive today; DISAPPOINTMENT! Sorry that last bit might've been a little excessive, but sometimes the letters and words just flow like they were meant to be spoken, typed, or written.
Jul 25, 2019
Jul 25, 2019 at 12:11 AM UTC
1.
He lights another mortar
and the dog runs after it
barking and trying to bite it
he grabs it's back leg as the sky lights up
since he had barely thought to look over
and the words around here don't reach his mind
his ears defective as they are.
He says something with his hands
something foreign to me
but six people watching laugh
and so do I.
2.
His wife sits with her sons
her stomach wide with their third
another boy
she's gotten so used to talking with her hands
that her voice is rusty
and her vocabulary limited
but she's here as much as the rest
sitting and laughing and having a good time.
3.
The owner of the house sits off the side in the nicest lawn chair here
a cup in her hand
we've quit counting how many drinks she's had
but she only drinks a couple days a year
and nobody is giving her any problems
and she seems to be able to be her normal self.
She had been questioning me earlier today
seeing if I was really a good guy
testing whether she'd have to sit at the table with a shotgun
every time I spent any time with her niece.
4.
Her husband is launching his own collection of mortars off
with his brother
while her brother-in-law hands the teens the novelties
I launch off a dozen flowers
and a few spinny things.
She occasionally breaks her fingers away from mine
to launch off a flower, smokebomb or firecracker
and occasionally runs over to poke-chop her uncle
who keeps talking to the fireworks.
She always comes back and we'll wander by her mom and stepdad
(the latter always throws in some sort of comment
so we act careful around him)
and over to her cousins
or toward her aunt and roommate.
Occasionally we'll have to get something from the house
and we sneak three kisses
but we mostly just stay in each others arms
keeping each other warm in the almost warm 4th of July night
our hands both entwined
one of our heads always on the others shoulder
and in all the craziness
all the family drama
everything is perfect and she's smiling so hard her cheeks keep hurting
and she keeps telling me how little sleep she's gonna get
and I tell her I ain't gonna be able to sleep at all
Jul 7, 2013
Jul 7, 2013 at 4:21 AM UTC
WHEN Grace Gray uncovered her wedding dress from the back of the wardrobe, she knew exactly what to do with her something old – turn it into something new.
The doting gran gifted her much-loved satin gown to her daughter Michelle, so she could have it made into a christening robe for her baby Pippa.
And the beautiful wee girl was all smiles on her special day in her hand-me-down, upcycled gown.
Michelle, 32, said: “I always loved my mum’s wedding dress and never imagined it would become my daughter’s christening dress, but I’m so glad it did.
“For Pippa to be christened in such a special family dress made the day all the more amazing.”
Grace, 54, wore the pearl-encrusted ivory dress when she married husband William, 73, in Clydebank 18 years ago.
Michelle helped her mum to pick the dress and was a bridesmaid at the wedding.
She said: “I was quite young when my mum married my stepdad and I remember going shopping with her when she picked the dress.
“It had lots of pearls and diamantes and I just loved all the sparkle. She looked so beautiful.”
After her wedding, Grace packed away her dress in a box and kept it at the back of her wardrobe.
Michelle, who is looking forward to her own wedding to partner Frazer Ward, 29, next year, said: “It has been there ever since but she came across it when she was clearing out.
“It was her idea to have it turned into a christening dress for Pippa.”
The family took the dress to Fabricated Bridal Alterations in Glasgow, where the seamstresses made not only the christening dress but a head band for Pippa and a matching hair clip for her sister Tilly, four.
Michelle, who also lives in Clydebank, added: “I did feel a little bit anxious at the thought of mum’s
dress being cut up but the end result was so beautiful.
“Mum had a tear in her eye when she saw it.”
Grace said: “I can’t think of any better use of my wedding dress than seeing it given to my
granddaughter for her christening.
“I felt really honoured to share in her big day in such a special way. I was overwhelmed by how beautiful she looked.”
Andrina Greig, of Fabricated Bridal Alterations, said there was a rising trend for women to put their wedding dresses to good use.
She added: “We’ve had more and more women getting their wedding dresses made into a christening gown for their children – but this is the first time we have had a grandmother’s dress brought in to be made into a christening gown.
“Michelle’s mum’s dress was perfect for the transformation.
“It was in great condition and the beading, bow and button details were ideal for scaling down and keeping as a feature on the christening dress. We were thrilled with how beautiful Pippa’s gown looked.”
read more:www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses-adelaide
www.marieaustralia.com/red-carpet-celebrity-dresses
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 9:33 PM UTC
I bet you never got to know
That I wasn't always depressed
I was always narcoleptic
Every time I told you I didn't feel good and couldn't see you
I wasn't depressed
I was narcoleptic
That message in March
Where you said you even loved when I was so depressed I couldn't get out of bed
I was narcoleptic
I couldn't help it
People never understand, it's like how you feel when you've been up for days
I was narcoleptic
I could sleep 12 hours
And not feel refreshed, because my sleep doesn't heal me, like it heals you and others
I was narcoleptic
I know I took those stimulants
But they made me edgy and nervous, and I turned into a **** so I didn't take them but
I was narcoleptic
You see, those stimulants, Vyvanse
Made me feel like I'd been up for days but running on 2 pots of coffee because
I was narcoleptic
A man who has been up for days
Is not often the most polite and I hated being impolite so I stopped taking them but
I was narcoleptic
So I spent my days sleeping
Sleeping till noon, then needing to sleep at 3 PM, until 10 at night and then until noon because
I was narcoleptic
Your stepdad said he wouldn't stand for that "crap"
But I couldn't help it, I wanted to see you more than anything and I knew it hurt you but
I was narcoleptic
Not only am I narcoleptic
I think I have fibromyalgia just like my grandmother, who loves you too, I think,
I have fibromyalgia.
Today I'm still narcoleptic with fibromyalgia
But I've found a cure, a mix of two pills, one for the narcolepsy and one for the pain
One pill is designed for nothing but narcolepsy (not ADHD) and the other a narcotic for the pain
You'd have no idea how much better I feel than I did before
You'd have no idea because you don't care to learn who I am
Because I'm not who I was, I'm refreshed, something new, I'm normal for once
Not just feeling bad, not just tired and sore and fatigued, not so depressed I can't get out of bed
Just narcolepsy and fibromyalgia.
Nov 26, 2013
Nov 26, 2013 at 2:29 PM UTC
As I watch u sleep and hear u snore I can't help but adore
Just a child who may not be mine, I feel the love and obligation as it were true
Oh how I envy you, innocence I was once told
Is so pure, its ******* gold
A dead beat dad id like to beat dead
Doesn't care about one hair on your head
I may not be blood but ill give you my best
Give you rasberries and tickle your baby chest
Feed you and always care, your like a son to me. Ill always be there
I love your mother and you as well
Your gunna have lil brothers and sisters from me. I can tell
Your the coolest ******* kid I ever met
One thing I know ill never regret
Is being taught to be a dad, by lil dev
Feb 27, 2013
Feb 27, 2013 at 5:47 AM UTC
I wish my mom thought we were more important that the T.V.
I wish my stepdad thought we were more important
than his nightly bing drinking
I wish my stepsisters wouldn't be depressed to come home
or afraid to stay after dinner
instead of fleeing, alone
to their designated shelter
I wish my stepdad was less angry all the time
I wish my mom didn't have to thirst her sorrows with
boxed Franzia Red Wine
I wish she would stop complaining,
and see all the little things worth enjoying
I wish they knew their lives were slowly wasting away
faster than the drinks they put down
and the sarcasm they put out
I wish they knew there was a world outside
because I'd like to experience it with them
and leave some good memories inside
I wish they knew that missing their life
was more important than missing their show
I wish they knew missing their children's lives were too
I wish they could sit down with us
and learn what brilliant family they have
But we are too boring
We are no ****** mystery, crime
sport, beer, or wine
I wish they would be honest with themselves and each other
and admit out loud that
they are unhappy
I with they knew the energy they expelled
the atmosphere they create
makes it a home of one almost hated
They are good guardians, they protect us, feed us, love us
and I know they care
Still lingers this sad, constricting, and distant feeling in the air
I can come and go as I please
but I wish they saw their daughters
had the running away disease
Whether inside themselves, to their room, or a friends,
They should not want to escape their homes in the end
Their children have such inspiring minds
They are beautiful souls,
ambitious, intelligent, kind
I wish they could see
but it's blocked by the T.V.
and all the Netflix movies
I wish they could tell I am an outsider looking In
and I don't even know where to begin
Mainly I wish they would open their eyes
and realize, their lives and their family
are passing them by
We love them so much
we miss them
we know they love us
but I wonder if they miss us
Or if they even know who We are..
Jan 24, 2013
Jan 24, 2013 at 11:46 AM UTC
Maybe my mother and my stepdad were happy once.
but that was a time where they still thought it was freedom
to be out of a household
as I'm thinking now.
there was a time where they could look into each other's eyes
and think
This is who I want to spend the rest of my life with
I want to hate him.
I want to hate him when his hands are on her,
on me
on us.
I want to hate him when he tells us that he doesn't love us
when he says he doesn't love my mother
that he's going to take my sister and brother
his kids he says
and leave.
I want to hate him when he tells me that I'm not his.
He's not my dad.
He's not my other sister's dad either.
that my mother's a *****
that he'd rather **** his cousin than look at my mother again.
We're nothing to him
I want to hate her when she tells him to leave, too
when she keeps talking
spitting on him
telling him that he's worthless
that she's cheating twice as much as he is
when she tells us that it's our fault he's mad
our fault their marriage is failing.
our fault.
I want to hate her when she leaves us alone with him
and comes back to my strongest sister in tears
asking her why she's crying "like a little *****
I want to hate her when she breaks down because he's now been gone
for six hours
and we don't know if he's coming back.
but I can't hate them for long, because maybe they're right.
it's probably our fault.
I know they were in love once.
when I was young, and his kids hadn't been born yet
and I was living with my grandfather and grandmother
with Lilly and Cherish
that was a time where he could be with her
alone
always.
they were in love with each other once
back when I wasn't cutting
or drinking or smoking
back when I wasn't thinking or talking
back when we were nothing but children
tiny children.
they were in love once, and now there's nothing.
somewhere when they started
falling apart,
they left little string
and as I grow older I find that I follow it
the string leads into why they're still together, but
see
the string will run out eventually.
"For the kids"
"We can try"
"we can make it work"
"I'm sorry"
"I love you"
those all get thinner.
See I think that they were in love at one time
but that was before they knew each other.
Dec 6, 2020
Dec 6, 2020 at 7:18 PM UTC
Let me tell you the story of how you showed me what it means to be part of a family. Let me tell you how sometimes I joke that “hitting means love if it’s your family,” but I’m only actually half-joking, because that’s how I grew up. Let me tell you how family has been for me in the past and how it meant people that would hurt you, betray you, abuse you, and destroy your very will to live. Let me tell you about the nonexistent dad, the hateful stepdad, the cousin that liked hand jobs, and the uncle that came for me every night without fail. Let me tell you that the abuse wasn’t just ****** and how that one time we got sent to the orphanage I was only upset because they took away my little sister. Let me tell you about how I found a strange peace there. And let me tell you how all the people I have loved most have died, and how I thought I was a curse so I stopped loving at all. Let me tell you how weird it is to me to have parents calling to check up on you, and eating dinners together, and just having conversations. Let me tell you how I look at y’all, confused as to how you can stand one another without the help of drugs. Because let me tell you, that’s all that stopped the yelling and punching and hate at my house. But let me tell you about how y’all seem to genuinely care for one another. And let me tell you how much it makes me want to cry to be enveloped within this family. Let me tell you about the time your mom told me she loves me and I didn’t know how to respond, because my mom and I only traded hate. But let me also tell you about how I started saying it back, and mean it. And let me tell you about my 26th birthday, when your family threw me my very first birthday party, with cake and ice cream and presents, and I didn’t know how to react to such an outpouring of love, or how to begin to show how thankful I was. Let me tell you about y’all planning a trip six months away and inviting me. Let me tell you how much it means, not only to be invited on a family trip, but to be accepted so much that it’s just assumed I’ll still be around then. Because let me tell you, I live in fear of losing you. And let me tell you about the time you almost gave me a heart attack by asking if I’d be okay with your niece calling me “Aunt Amber,” because part of me is still scared of getting that close. Let me also tell you how my heart clenched when your mom told me your niece threw away your high school dance pictures because I’m not in them. So let me just tell you how I cry happy tears now, knowing I am part of a real family.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 1:12 PM UTC
Sweet Tea wrote 3 months after I turned 15, 2018
Before you, I was a girl devastated by things I couldn’t change
Trapped in an endless bitter reality from which there was no escape
Sinking into a dark, spiraling well, from which I reached my hands and found a pool of light
You were my light, a haloed sunshine angel, who graced me with his presence for what seemed so long and ended so abruptly
The sound of your voice seemed to be honey, so sweet, attracting the bees, attracting me
My sunshine sweetheart, angel lover You’ve done your time so now you can leave
Why would you want to stay with me? I’m only a cement brick that will bring you down
A loose thread that will tear you down, a yammering parakeet who will wear you down
One time you told me that I thought too highly of you
How couldn’t I? With someone who made me feel so confident with my body, somebody who praised me, someone who thought I was worth their time at least for the time being
In a way it’s better that you left, you’ll never be forced to see what I had to see looking in the mirror hating every inch of myself, hating the way I acted, and the way I interacted with everyone and hating the way no one seemed to like me
But you liked me, but it’s better this way because I’m a letdown
It’s Like when you thought you had bought sweet tea
But it’s actually unsweetened
The new version
Sweet Tea wrote 1 month before my 18 birthday, 2021
Before you, I was a girl alone
Being molested every day by the people who said they would take care of me
I was a fourteen-year-old girl who was taught at a young age to get yourself a man to save you
So I tried everything to keep you because talking to you distracted me from the fact my fourty-year-old stepdad was touching me
But what I definitely didn’t need was a twenty-year-old man messaging me
Telling me all the things he wanted to do to me
When the law would finally unclaim me and allow me to give someone a part of me he doesn’t deserve
You made me feel so much more alone
Somebody who told me he’d touch me
But instead of giving me what I’ll need he’ll leave
“Lick me up like an ice cream cone” huh Luke?
yes I thought highly of you
Because you made it seem like you’d never hurt me
You were the biggest disappointment
You always will be
Jan 12, 2021
Jan 12, 2021 at 2:36 PM UTC
This small talk kills me
when once it was so easy.
I remember when I
was the favorite.
This was before her first car
and sixteenth birthday,
movie dates, weekend sleepovers,
and high school crushes.
This must be how old toys feel,
played out, aged,
traded for the new and bright.
On a sand dune,
we sit shipwrecked,
stranded,and talk carefully
like strangers do about
sea birds pecking for food,
dead jellyfish,
and the innocence of sand castles.
Dark glasses disguise
my quick views of bikinis,
fitness thighs, and smooth dark tans,
mask her sneak peeks
at young muscle, flat stomachs,
and cute boys with fashion haircuts.
She burrows her toes into the sand
to pass the time.
I try to think of jokes
to make her laugh
but no punchlines come.
We share a fancy grilled cheese sandwich,
shy giggles,
and a pink lemonade
before she can no longer hide
the boredom in her eyes.
I know its time to leave.
She reclines her seat back
and sleeps the drive home,
leaving me alone
with miles, empty highways,
and whispers of classic rock
from the radio.
Dec 4, 2015
Dec 4, 2015 at 10:53 PM UTC
Dear "stepdad",
You told me I'm nobody special
Well you're right
That's right I'm not denying it
I'm going to embrace this
You shocked?
I don't care and neither should you
Because I'm nobody special
so why would you care?
You've told me I'm worthless
That I am a piece of sh#t
Well I don't care as of today
I'm turning my back and walking away
You can try to bully me but you can't break me down
Its about time this frown turned upside down
You're nothing to me just the boyfriend of my mother
Also the father to my future brother
But to me you're just a bully and I don't care anymore
Hell I let your words get me to run out the door
But I'm back and I'm here to stay
Nothing you can say will take me away
I'm strong
I'm powerful
And I'm me
I may be nobody special
But at least I'm myself
And I'm okay with this
So now I will gladly say
Go **** yourself
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 11:04 PM UTC
The Commercial says:
Collect the whole set!
Buy Tommy Toddler™! –Now says 6 gibberish phrases!
Buy Hannah Housewife™! –Laundry basket and stove included!
Buy Stanley Stepdad™! –Comes with realistic child abusing action!
Buy Cole, the College Student™! –Life-like *** and beer ***** scent!
It says: Buy the whole family.
Batteries not rechargeable, but included. Residing inside.
No assembly required unless buying Ralph the Retired™ – in which case,
Go to the hospital and inquire, am I covered ?
Have I expired ?
At the store I’d, see them all sorted, and sordid, clumped in little bins. Together.
Sort of. See,
Lawyers, and scientists, and authors were all in higher priced bins.
I felt shorted.
A cheap skate like me couldn’t afford it, wait-
there are the janitors, soldiers, and waitresses, each only a quarter.
Somewhere in Taiwan, thin children wont to wanting,
Are making Model Americans.
Patching together assembly-line-lives, no breaks inbetween,
Workers named High School, College, and Career sew mini seams.
So many seem, to delight in dreaming the American Dream,
To leave earthly bodies and become pristine; little dolls.
Toys colored C.R.E.A.M.
“…and the home of the brave!” ?
maybe, home of the depraved.
Home of the pre-made, pre-packaged, and
Enslaved.
Displayed, in plastic tombs engraved. With phrases like:
Save! 50% off!
or perhaps it’s 50 stars off.
50 stars that are missin.
Cuz Old Glory sure looks like a **** question mark ( ?)
End transmission.
Restart television with Remote Control.
Feb 24, 2012
Feb 24, 2012 at 3:00 PM UTC
My whole life Iitried to live in the body I was given
The body I am in
Growing up I never “saw the signs”
I never knew that there was anything else I could possibily be
I never knew that I was going to change
Or that there was anything else
Something. Someone better that I could be
Someone who is more comfortable in their skin
I had no idea that the reflection I saw staring back at me everyday in the mirror was not me at all
Ive noticed that ive felt different from how I was taught to feel
Ive found out a lot of things in my life so far
But I never thought I would find myself being envius of boy
Not because I disliked them but because I wanted to be like them
I found myself not wanting boys
But wanting to dress like them
Not wanting boys
But wanting to walk like them
Not wanting boys
But wanting to have my hair short like theirs
To have a “boys” hair cut
I found myself not wanting a boyfriend
But wanting to be someones boyfriend
I found myself realizing that so many girls have that muscular physique
I thought it was normal because other girls looked like that
So maybe I can too?
I tried to fit myself in the categories I saw others in
Girls. Boys like girls. Girls like girls too
I like girls. Im a girl that likes girls
But I do not want to be a muscular girl
I shouldn’t be in this body
So why am I?
Why does my mom strictly tell me not to pick flannels when were in the store
Have conversations with my stepdad saying
She wants to be….
But how can she…
If shes not even..
How can she?
She doesn’t like showing skin she tells him
Im too angry to listen to rest
But then he says
Im not saying its right but its her
HE SAID IM NOT SAYING ITS RIGHT
HE SAID IM NOT SAYING ITS RIGHT
WHAT IS RIGHT!?
I was certainly a fool
He never did accept me huh?
That. Is .Right.
But in my eyes im struggling with confusion
The illusion of my body and what I have now
Is the not the reflection of the real. Me
I found myself listening to other peoples stories and comparing myself to them
I should feel the same way because you have to feel the same as everyone else to be trans
But I didn’t. So I brushed the feelings away
Let them fade.
Blind to similarities
Frustrated because I had no idea who, or what I was
I looked at so many peoples stories
And the one thing I didn’t take from them all until the end was
They were all different
NEVER WERE THEY IDENTICAL
SIMILAR
NOT IDENTICAL
SIMILAR
NOT IDENTICAL
WHO
Am
I
Who am I if I am not the same
I am different
I am not supposed to have the same realizations as everyone else
The entire time I was looking around for answers from other people
Truly I knew exactly where the answer was
But. The feeling of trepidation was all my mind knew for the first few weeks of searching
I found myself thinking some more
This house is only bringing me down
Can I just get out of here?
I found myself wondering why she loved to prevent me from doing things I loved
The same ones that praise you
Are the same ones that hate you
I am me. Alittle bit different than most.
But im me
I found myself, while writing this poem
May 19, 2016
May 19, 2016 at 7:41 PM UTC
Grandpa Ody retired, content
Worked at GM all his life
The entire family drives Opel
20% discount with a form
Provided by Ody
Now my stepdad married my mum
Making me his daughter
Through their union
We drive an Opel too
Many sets of Opel keys on the dinner table
It may serve us to know
That we recognize our keys
By one glance, one main indicator
For most of us; the Opel car key
Who knows the difference after a few drinks
And so I switched our keys
With those of my stepdad
He glanced at them a few times
Something was wrong
"Nah it must be in my head"
We've payed for our drinks
Thanked everyone
Three kisses in Belgium
Our cars are parked across each other
Click says the lock of our car
Quickly we unlock the other car....
We say goodbye...
"Who took my keys?!"
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 6:42 PM UTC
A wilted flower,
plucked by a scary black crow,
growing in new dirt.
Jun 28, 2020
Jun 28, 2020 at 1:08 AM UTC
Hope you feel better than i do
Todays my moms birthday...
i feel so nervous
im tired
my stepdad called me a *** and goth over me being emo
and almost killed me for the 3rd time
i feel like the cover of a fricking Nirvana album
bleh
I don't kno any more
Feb 25, 2019
Feb 25, 2019 at 8:37 AM UTC
I just want to run away
Escape and get away.
I'm so tired of everyone jumping down my throat.
My mom isn't even the same woman I remember her to be.
I'm stuck thinking if she even cares about me at all.
My stepdad has become so irritating.
They seem to love my little brother more than they even love me.
IF they even love me.
My biological dad is a ******
He left.
No one gives me a ******* break.
NO ONE TAKES ME OUT OF HELL. THEY JUST PUSH ME DEEPER INTO IT.
I've been waiting to pack my **** and go.
But where do I go?
Anywhere but this house would be fine.
I have no friends which I dont really care about but now it feels like I dont have a family.
I JUST WANT TO GET AWAY. SO FAR AWAY.
IM GIVING UP.
im just trying not to.
Jan 4, 2014
Jan 4, 2014 at 4:07 PM UTC
Who is to say that addictions won't work
When my mommy likes her marriages
When my daddy likes his *****
When my ***** likes her cigars
When my ex-stepdad likes his control
When my best friend likes his ****
When my ex likes her ***
When my arm likes its scars
And when my heart
Knows it can't live without what it does
And without you?
Apr 12, 2014
Apr 12, 2014 at 10:57 PM UTC
4/3/15 6:09am - Missing you is worse than finding out 3 weeks later than the rest of my family that my grandmother has cancer, because my father "forgot" to tell me.
4/4/15 12:37pm - Missing you is like the tv special I watched when I was 8. I won't ever forget those conjoined twins who's operation failed. Or how the one who survived always reached for the other.
4/5/15 12:43pm - My god, missing you is so much harder than I thought it would be and it's been just two days. I've had constant drugs and sunrises. I'm so empty.
4/6/15 2:07pm - Missing you is driving all night to watch the sunrise but being too busy collecting shells you might like on the beach to look up at the sky.
4/7/15 4:11pm - Missing you is wishing I had the guts to jump.
4/19/15 3:59pm - Missing you doesn't make sense anymore but it comes much more naturally then walking or speaking or breathing.
7/6/15 5:09pm - I miss you.
7/15/15 6:46pm - Missing you feels like being told that my mom is leaving my stepdad weeks after it's happened and wondering when she'll admit to leaving me.
8/19/15 12:23am - Every night it all comes down to missing you from the bottom of a bottle or the passenger seat of a strange boys car.
10/1/2015 8:37am - I don't know when I stopped missing you. I guess maybe it was when you ****** my best friend. Or my other best friend. Or my other best friend. Maybe it was when you fell for her. When someone who knew nothing about you, didn't do everything I did for you, who can't even commit to you, was suddenly better for you than I ever was.
I don't know when I stopped missing you, but I miss missing you this morning. I miss missing you.
Oct 1, 2015
Oct 1, 2015 at 8:40 AM UTC
A first kiss is a deadly weapon
ours was nervous and in secret
a large dog making me sneeze
jumping over the SUV
because your stepdad can't park
and clinging to you
because he also can't drive
When you met my parents
on New Years, pictionary
we both yelled "anarchy"
and I will never not smile about that
Feb 21, 2014
Feb 21, 2014 at 12:16 AM UTC
*****'s right
Your mom was too
So was your stepdad
So were you
Please go back to a month ago
Don't change your mind
I'm awful
Tell everyone so they know
I don't want anyone else getting hurt by me
I'm a monster
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014 at 3:33 PM UTC
I type in that old address
expecting google not to show a house
to show the empty lot
that from what i heard
was the result of putting a dishwasher
into the kitchen
and causing complete septic failure
that flooded that entire uptown PA acre.
But, it flies me there
and I cry a little
because it's an old picture-
the house is still there,
just as i remember it;
an empty lot to the side,
the dilapidated apartment in the back yard,
the shed at the end of the driveway
(which was just a couple of cement tracks
slightly thinner than the pathfinder tires)
the apple and pie cherry trees we used to climb.
the alley in the back
where we used to skip rocks
and run from the neighborhood dogs (and cats)
looks the same as well,
every car the same,
every empty house still empty,
every tipped trashcan still being tipped each week.
I go down every street I used to walk,
they're all the same,
the bus stop is still where it was
the trails are just as long and dark as they ever were
and each yellow yard looks just as it always did in midsummer.
the ponds in the park are still the same color
with the same algae growing in them
and the same overgrowth hideaways around them.
A mile down the road;
the mini-mart where I bought gum when i had money
hasn't changed a bit,
even the pink umbrellas are still in front of the smoothie bar
but, across the street
the used book store that i would get lost in is gone
and from there i notice subtle changes:
the blackberry bushes by the middle school,
that mom made multiple cobblers from, are gone,
the maternity store moved,
the shed that my stepdad first told us would be our new house,
(before showing us this place)
has been torn down, or fell over
(as i assume it did),
and it doesn't end there,
I practiced my eye in the small details of this small ****** of the world
even though i never talked to anyone
in all the hours i spent walking.
But i guess I remember so well,
because, four-and-a-half years later
I still consider that house home.
that house where my brother was born,
where i first went without my glasses, and liked it
where I was first given the freedom of a bus pass
and permission to leave the house,
where i had my first (and only) overnighter
where i first became addicted to cleaning
where i've packed so many memories
that i can understand why the sewage line broke
sometime after that picture was taken
©Brandon Webb
2012
Jan 3, 2013
Jan 3, 2013 at 5:14 AM UTC
God doesn't love me he never did
Even from the start as a little kid
I was so innocent
Or maybe just ignorant
I don't know which
But stepdad threw the switch
And I was neither this nor that
My soul just went splat
I hit a wall so hard and strong
I would forever always be wrong
No matter what choice I made
It all ended up so decayed
This life is no fun
I live it far from the Sun
But I could never hurt anyone
So why is it so
That upon my soul
That the sorrow it grows
And the stale wind blows
How could God hate me so much
That my life would turn out as such
That the agony just grows
In the memories that it's sows
Makes me wish this life was no more
I'm hollow to the core
I don't want to hurt any more
So take this living corpse of mine
In all of its great decline
Do with it what you wish
For it never will see any bless
So use it up and spit it out
Because after all isn't that what love's all about
Because that's all I've seen
In the 46 years that I've gleaned
So use me now, or use me latter
You'll always be just a hatter
In this mind of mine there is no doubt
That this thing called life I want to bow out
And forever be no more
And settle the score
I want to stand on that judgement day
And hear what God really has to say
Let him look me in the eye
Let him see me cry
From all that he did not save me from
And why he left me here so numb
That all I can do is shout
Is this what love is all about!
Mar 5, 2016
Mar 5, 2016 at 4:24 PM UTC
My mom was a wonderful person
Codependent on a horrible loser
My stepdad was terribly abusive
He'd sneak in my room and be intrusive
My brothers he beat with a belt
Until they all had big welts
We're young we can't see the loop
Soon in life we will follow suit
I married a man who's verbally abusive
To my daughter his moods were intrusive
Why do I feel so sad
When his behavior was so bad
He would yell and scream
But I held on to a dream
I could help him shine supreme
I found there was no solution
I had to leave his pollution
Time to make a new start
Away from this man with a cold heart
Nov 21, 2013
Nov 21, 2013 at 12:55 AM UTC
I look back.
A dad, a sister, a brother, a mom.
Moving five, seven, no, thirteen times.
A father gone,
A sister to school.
Another stepdad,
No three boyfriends.
Of all, two criminals.
I look back more.
Three, four, school districts.
You promised one final.
Promise not kept.
I’m sixteen.
My first car, breaks.
My second car, breaks.
My third car, Mom breaks.
One, three, four attempts.
Goodnight.
I break; But looking back
It could have been worse.
No dad, no mom;
Just brother and sister.
At least I have three.
Goodnight.
Apr 1, 2016
Apr 1, 2016 at 11:33 AM UTC