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"rehashing" poems
Rehashing the rare Out with the new, In with the old. She's always had a thing For the things that exude A quirkiness and a bucolic charm The smell of old books The black and the white Good ol' Chaplin, James Dean And the Sound of Music The Beatles, a tape recorder High-waisted pants And the gramophone And a rustic old bar With a gruff bartender Who's off his rocker But he'll double up as your therapist And for the boy with the dark brown eyes Who looks across the bar at her. And smiles. It's all black and white again Except this time, It isn't her favourite Casablanca scene But a white screen And a thousand particles Microcosmic A milieu of Unfathomable numbers float Through the atmosphere Connecting her to him. And she doesn't want that. She's always had a thing for the old, But he makes her doubt that.
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Sep 24, 2014
Sep 24, 2014 at 12:22 PM UTC
Glitch in the Matrix
I wrote something that I did not mean When I write that, I feel it’s unseen In real, I make someone else’s thought mine Publicize it and leave others to opine These actually are one liner’s lifted from popular text I dissemble and exude that I take my life at best I am the ideal of all humans in my words For similar situation in real, I am truly reverse My online life is most beautiful on earth Whereas offline, I am rehashing in vain to cover up dearth My posts are full of inspiration and energy If you meet me in real I am full of lethargy Why dupe to be a connoisseur and be a commonplace At least quote the source, give true author some space Be eclectic and original in expression Write such that it’s never been done Bharti
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Jul 9, 2014
Jul 9, 2014 at 6:03 AM UTC
Virtual Bliss with Borrowed Thoughts
They all gather to the deadhouse Like actors taking to a well trodden stage Whether from London's' Kings Cross Or the finery of NYC's Queens borough Back to the fold all prodigal sons must return To join with those that could never find a way From this barren cold land and its insular bitter lies All united now in a grief of one that has been lost   All divided by a rivalry, a rumor, some generational feud The priest commences his weary and over versed tone As he summons his God, his Jesus and his Litany of Saints Incense burns as a symbol of the prayer of the faithful rising Yet rising no further than their hypocrisy descends And where do you look when even Jesus lets you down As you turn to wipe that burning tear from your face One not born from holy water nor from their devils grace Doors are opened and a captive audience awaits A procession of mourners to take their turn to the stage Heads bowed all and one, as hands are extended In weak and feeble grips amid their mumbled exchanges "Sorry for your loss" and "taken too soon" None hesitate too long as they navigate this fallowed room An occasional recognised face among a community of strangers A moment of warmth emanating from this ritualistic parade All gone too soon unlike those memories of years past Of wanting to get out and get free, promising never to go back Yet to the last of this line they swear that they remember you well Whilst retiring to The Old Stand with promise of more stories to tell Where the whiskey chasers flow like the Guinness on draught Helping to swallow the lies on how good it is to be back Rehashing of old platitudes but nothing really said For no one shall ever speak ill of the dead
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Jan 17, 2017
Jan 17, 2017 at 4:39 PM UTC
scenes from the deadhouse
They all gather to the deadhouse Like actors taking to a well trodden stage Whether from London's' Kings Cross Or the finery of NYC's Queens borough Back to the fold all prodigal sons must return To join with those that could never find a way From this barren cold land and its insular bitter lies All united now in a grief of one that has been lost   All divided by a rivalry, a rumor, some generational feud The priest commences his weary and over versed tone As he summons his God, his Jesus and his Litany of Saints Incense burns as a symbol of the prayer of the faithful rising Yet rising no further than their hypocrisy descends And where do you look when even Jesus lets you down As you turn to wipe that burning tear from your face One not born from holy water nor from their devils grace Doors are opened and a captive audience awaits A procession of mourners to take their turn to the stage Heads bowed all and one, as hands are extended In weak and feeble grips amid their mumbled exchanges "Sorry for your loss" and "taken too soon" None hesitate too long as they navigate this fallowed room An occasional recognised face among a community of strangers A moment of warmth emanating from this ritualistic parade All gone too soon unlike those memories of years past Of wanting to get out and get free, promising never to go back Yet to the last of this line they swear that they remember you well Whilst retiring to The Old Stand with promise of more stories to tell Where the whiskey chasers flow like the Guinness on draught Helping to swallow the lies on how good it is to be back Rehashing of old platitudes but nothing really said For no one shall ever speak ill of the dead
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32
This wind keeps snapping at our feet through shoes unravelling. Gales are hungry.           Night's abandoned,                streets have emptied. Still, we own them--just keep talking.            Winter's wailing.            **** the old days. Clutching coats closed,                          tread nostalgia past these sidewalk intersections. Claimed by rambling conversations,                often                we're only                rehashing our worst mistakes                                   and                  shivering                 our way be-              -neath stoplights lit by good memories.           I've got this notion tonight           that we'll find our way                                                   back           into the warmth found behind           our locked front doorways. Ways we've found to always hide our faces from the cold outside           have been running dry all night. So drink down the cold street light           and we'll make a blur of those green-white street signs. This cold's still clawing at your face through scarf unraveling. Chapped lips smiling.           Nights like this have                kept on piling. Winter owns us. Just keep walking.            Winter's crying,            **** the old days!" Frostbit footsteps            slip nostalgia past these frowning checkpoint questions. Retouch same old observations.                 Sometimes                 we're only                  retracing the same missteps                                 but                     frigid              friends like us                 are melting into old habits           I've got this notion tonight           that we'll take this route                                                      for           one more familiar cold flight           from here to daybreak. Say, "let fly those bomb bay doors!" We've bombed these frozen streets before,                     and I've got a couple more           so keep moving 'til we find our front doors.
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Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 11:45 PM UTC
Shortcut.
This wind keeps snapping at our feet through shoes unravelling. Gales are hungry.           Night's abandoned,                streets have emptied. Still, we own them--just keep talking.            Winter's wailing.            **** the old days. Clutching coats closed,                          tread nostalgia past these sidewalk intersections. Claimed by rambling conversations,                often                we're only                rehashing our worst mistakes                                   and                  shivering                 our way be-              -neath stoplights lit by good memories.           I've got this notion tonight           that we'll find our way                                                   back           into the warmth found behind           our locked front doorways. Ways we've found to always hide our faces from the cold outside           have been running dry all night. So drink down the cold street light           and we'll make a blur of those green-white street signs. This cold's still clawing at your face through scarf unraveling. Chapped lips smiling.           Nights like this have                kept on piling. Winter owns us. Just keep walking.            Winter's crying,            **** the old days!" Frostbit footsteps            slip nostalgia past these frowning checkpoint questions. Retouch same old observations.                 Sometimes                 we're only                  retracing the same missteps                                 but                     frigid              friends like us                 are melting into old habits           I've got this notion tonight           that we'll take this route                                                      for           one more familiar cold flight           from here to daybreak. Say, "let fly those bomb bay doors!" We've bombed these frozen streets before,                     and I've got a couple more           so keep moving 'til we find our front doors.
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61
Theme/Chorus,many voices,(call and response) is it the worst thing ever?/ITS THE WORST THING EVER,is it the worst thing ever?/ITS THE ****** WORST THING EVER!/ Sample Ice-T "I stare at them blue lines,I think I'mma go blind" I'm goin crazy cuckoo,finally losing it, trapped in my gravel pit,rehashing my own **** my old shit-still holding me back, may as well get a pipe and start puffin' up crack, cos I've cracked,and frankly don't give a **** I'm so sick of bangin' my head off this mental block, its the size of a freight train-Strength of the Hulk, you really think I wanna fuckin' sit here and sulk?, you leeches... keep preachin' deceit, one more fake smile,OOPS there go teeth... was that a piece of your jaw on the floor that I saw? was that real or a dream, I can't tell any more? each rhyme I write-so god **** tight, like your first piece of ass-first nasty fight, first make up *** first broke up ex, my mates just stare at me perplexed when I bare the holes in my soul to all, I dunno whether I'm gonna get cheers or catcalls, but don't worry bout that I got plenty of boots, and I'll kick your ****** ***** til they're bigger than grapefruits, I'm a live grenade throwin serenades, So god **** sick I gave cancer aids, Sandman-sicker than cancer cells in the cerebellum, Si vis pacem, para bellum ,cause I'm prepared for warfare I don't advise goin there , you'll find limpet mines in your ***** hair, I'll blow the scabs off the ***** on a filthy ***** if I have to- I have to to scratch this itch in the centre of my mind like a black hole Sun, this mental block has got me all undone... I swear if I don't finish a track I'll drop dead... wait a minute...I just fuckin' well did! so much for mental blocks Mhmm? but seriously-y'all ladies and fellas- is it the worst thing ever?/ ITS THE WORST THING EVER , is it the worst thing ever?/ *ITS THE ****** WORST THING EVER!* / "then the beat becomes me,sit in the dark and write a whole fuckin' LP"
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Nov 18, 2016
Nov 18, 2016 at 10:01 PM UTC
Mental Block Funky Breakdown
Theme/Chorus,many voices,(call and response) is it the worst thing ever?/ITS THE WORST THING EVER,is it the worst thing ever?/ITS THE ****** WORST THING EVER!/ Sample Ice-T "I stare at them blue lines,I think I'mma go blind" I'm goin crazy cuckoo,finally losing it, trapped in my gravel pit,rehashing my own **** my old shit-still holding me back, may as well get a pipe and start puffin' up crack, cos I've cracked,and frankly don't give a **** I'm so sick of bangin' my head off this mental block, its the size of a freight train-Strength of the Hulk, you really think I wanna fuckin' sit here and sulk?, you leeches... keep preachin' deceit, one more fake smile,OOPS there go teeth... was that a piece of your jaw on the floor that I saw? was that real or a dream, I can't tell any more? each rhyme I write-so god **** tight, like your first piece of ass-first nasty fight, first make up *** first broke up ex, my mates just stare at me perplexed when I bare the holes in my soul to all, I dunno whether I'm gonna get cheers or catcalls, but don't worry bout that I got plenty of boots, and I'll kick your ****** ***** til they're bigger than grapefruits, I'm a live grenade throwin serenades, So god **** sick I gave cancer aids, Sandman-sicker than cancer cells in the cerebellum, Si vis pacem, para bellum ,cause I'm prepared for warfare I don't advise goin there , you'll find limpet mines in your ***** hair, I'll blow the scabs off the ***** on a filthy ***** if I have to- I have to to scratch this itch in the centre of my mind like a black hole Sun, this mental block has got me all undone... I swear if I don't finish a track I'll drop dead... wait a minute...I just fuckin' well did! so much for mental blocks Mhmm? but seriously-y'all ladies and fellas- is it the worst thing ever?/ ITS THE WORST THING EVER , is it the worst thing ever?/ *ITS THE ****** WORST THING EVER!* / "then the beat becomes me,sit in the dark and write a whole fuckin' LP"
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41
I have got so much still to flush from my soul Indignation self hatred angels they stole Lifes blood removal stands beyond my control The world moves on what is my role Rehashing the steps that led up to the past Confusion denial all happened too fast Rearranging my thoughts to unborn contrast The world moves on i reign in last Sweet faces and hearts the love given all mine Trusting angels in place how the sun did shine Trials and tribulations may have smoothed out fine The world moves on proof my decline Final induction to family this day They are theirs completely to secret away Distance traveled each mile my hopes decay The world moves on bleeding will stay My soul flushes dark it remains in my heart My angels are gone due to my doubting part Past mending or fixing it's too late too start The world moves on forever apart
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Aug 22, 2013
Aug 22, 2013 at 12:39 PM UTC
The World Moves On
This place is full of ghosts              pondering Tralfamadorian time               bouncing red ***** down haunted steps               rehashing old cliches               praying Loud Prayers               peering out of glasses               walking Spanish across parted oceans               and ghost-writing poems               for other kindred spirits.
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Jan 24, 2015
Jan 24, 2015 at 5:53 PM UTC
Ghosts
When a poem speak in confidence That is how I am as I walk the street of Brooklyn me, a poem of mystery, a bite senility though in my sensate world: I know ones pride, can over shadow them Never ride ones pride. Especially when the price of victory is high but so are the rewards. Did our former leader congratulate the new President? Maybe I missed his speech, pride is born in the heart Ego is born in the mind today is November 10th 2020: My job can be so frustrating at times, during these times of uncertainty I have to push on daily, to have a joyful moment, at the work place Give thank in all circumstances, but I will never uttered those words That is was God work: it was because of my inner fears. That led me to stay as long as I did at the seafront: The world feels lighter these days, Satan power is lessening, Death has lost its sting ( 1 Corinthians 15:55 For the first time in this country A black female is the vice president of America And what bring a smile on my face, She attend the same college as my younger daughter Howard University.. Thumps up ! When I was a teenager, I went swimming late one night In the cold water down the harbor Road, A poem was created that night, little did I knew Here I am rehashing those memories….. A happy mood clouds our judgement Words, words, images and the truth Michael might not remember, but I remember, The city lights and the whispering of the wind: My shivering slender body was a poem inside and out: When my poems speak in confidence, I walk, the walk In the street of Brooklyn..
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Nov 11, 2020
Nov 11, 2020 at 9:07 AM UTC
A Poem Speak In Confidence
When a poem speak in confidence That is how I am as I walk the street of Brooklyn me, a poem of mystery, a bite senility though in my sensate world: I know ones pride, can over shadow them Never ride ones pride. Especially when the price of victory is high but so are the rewards. Did our former leader congratulate the new President? Maybe I missed his speech, pride is born in the heart Ego is born in the mind today is November 10th 2020: My job can be so frustrating at times, during these times of uncertainty I have to push on daily, to have a joyful moment, at the work place Give thank in all circumstances, but I will never uttered those words That is was God work: it was because of my inner fears. That led me to stay as long as I did at the seafront: The world feels lighter these days, Satan power is lessening, Death has lost its sting ( 1 Corinthians 15:55 For the first time in this country A black female is the vice president of America And what bring a smile on my face, She attend the same college as my younger daughter Howard University.. Thumps up ! When I was a teenager, I went swimming late one night In the cold water down the harbor Road, A poem was created that night, little did I knew Here I am rehashing those memories….. A happy mood clouds our judgement Words, words, images and the truth Michael might not remember, but I remember, The city lights and the whispering of the wind: My shivering slender body was a poem inside and out: When my poems speak in confidence, I walk, the walk In the street of Brooklyn..
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43
Mind boggling beauty and love, You have made me your slave. Bestowed every gift just by your presence, Elated by every thought. Love for you has become my only emotion, Love and trust returned is now my only obsession. Always and forever this will burn. Forgetting the world and its worries, Overcoming past sorrows with our shared joy. Romeo could never have dreamt of anything better. Ebullient is how we shall feel from this moment on Vagaries come in dozens as you come to be by my side, Eternally together our happiness shines. Rehashing the subject is simply unavoidable.
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May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 12:23 PM UTC
You Are
5 AM Thoughts :// If there's one thing that I learned from the past that I went through, he made me want to try to be a better person. Maybe it was for him, at first. But then I realized, no matter how long and how hard I try, I'll never be enough for that person. So all I need to do is just try to be a better person for myself, not for anyone's sake. I remember how I used to stay up all night to cry and pin myself to my pillow for a few consecutive months. I still could hear all the words he said in the back of my head, rehashing arguments of how he could never understand how I felt about us. I remember how I could drop everything just to be by his side. I remember how I could try to give him anything that I could possibly give in order to make him happy, even when the situations told me not to. and that's what happens when you truly care about someone. You want to make them happy. You put their happiness' above yours, even when people told you it's freaking stupid to put one's happiness above yours. But, again. You truly loved him. Even when he did not. Even when he yelled at you. Even when he called you names. All the manipulations make you think that you're happy with him, when the truth is you're being pathetic trying to scratch the ground off with your bare hands, trying to dig deep, trying so hard to make him happy. But as always, it takes two to tango. and if he can't dance with your jam, neither can you. and one day, it hit you again and you'll remember loving him, all of the good **** and all of the bad **** too But as soon as you realized that you were truly in love with him, you forget how to heal People have different ways to heal themselves. Sometimes it's a short period of time, sometimes it's a long period of time. Sometimes it involves the third party, a new one. and sometimes, some people don't need a new one in order to heal. What about me? for what I have now, I still don't know how much time I need to heal myself from the scratches I got. It took me a year to realize, this is gonna take longer than I thought it would. and I swear to God, I promised myself ; "I'll heal, I'll heal" but it's a lot more than just that and I thought I have healed, but then, I realized I haven't healed at all because in my sleep, I still see him in my dreams over, and over, again. at last, I'm gonna quote Beyoncé here ; "but you're just a boy, and you don't understand how it feels to love a girl, someday, you'll wish you were a better man you don't listen to her, and you don't care how it hurts until you lose the one you wanted, cause you've taken her for granted and everything you have got destroyed"
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Nov 1, 2016
Nov 1, 2016 at 11:24 AM UTC
5 A.M Thoughts // This is not a poem
5 AM Thoughts :// If there's one thing that I learned from the past that I went through, he made me want to try to be a better person. Maybe it was for him, at first. But then I realized, no matter how long and how hard I try, I'll never be enough for that person. So all I need to do is just try to be a better person for myself, not for anyone's sake. I remember how I used to stay up all night to cry and pin myself to my pillow for a few consecutive months. I still could hear all the words he said in the back of my head, rehashing arguments of how he could never understand how I felt about us. I remember how I could drop everything just to be by his side. I remember how I could try to give him anything that I could possibly give in order to make him happy, even when the situations told me not to. and that's what happens when you truly care about someone. You want to make them happy. You put their happiness' above yours, even when people told you it's freaking stupid to put one's happiness above yours. But, again. You truly loved him. Even when he did not. Even when he yelled at you. Even when he called you names. All the manipulations make you think that you're happy with him, when the truth is you're being pathetic trying to scratch the ground off with your bare hands, trying to dig deep, trying so hard to make him happy. But as always, it takes two to tango. and if he can't dance with your jam, neither can you. and one day, it hit you again and you'll remember loving him, all of the good **** and all of the bad **** too But as soon as you realized that you were truly in love with him, you forget how to heal People have different ways to heal themselves. Sometimes it's a short period of time, sometimes it's a long period of time. Sometimes it involves the third party, a new one. and sometimes, some people don't need a new one in order to heal. What about me? for what I have now, I still don't know how much time I need to heal myself from the scratches I got. It took me a year to realize, this is gonna take longer than I thought it would. and I swear to God, I promised myself ; "I'll heal, I'll heal" but it's a lot more than just that and I thought I have healed, but then, I realized I haven't healed at all because in my sleep, I still see him in my dreams over, and over, again. at last, I'm gonna quote Beyoncé here ; "but you're just a boy, and you don't understand how it feels to love a girl, someday, you'll wish you were a better man you don't listen to her, and you don't care how it hurts until you lose the one you wanted, cause you've taken her for granted and everything you have got destroyed"
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30
Would a voice in heaven sound beautiful and inviting or serious, constant and still maybe sounds of a harp possibly playing atop pristine waters or Pavarotti singing up in the mountains or would it be a moan, with intention and focus maybe just a recording over loud and annoying speakers with instructions and a schedule maybe if I am lucky I would hear My father’s voice telling me how great it is but sounding nostalgic and homesick a plea for his soft leather chair wearing his hounds tooth hat smoking his hand crafted pipe if death could speak what issues would it bring up rehashing troubled times would this voice guarantee pearly gates willing It beckons me, conflicted with temptation when your soul knows that this is a voice not from any place but from the best place where Jesus takes us to reach for something knowing doubts exist that you would rise to be with us again July, 2013 (RIP Dad) In memory of C. Dan Piccolomini
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Sep 15, 2016
Sep 15, 2016 at 6:05 PM UTC
If Death Could Speak
rehashing, redacting words in breath- less thought. back into, place of belonging; back for, a time of concep- tion. then, and always, exhaling tone of muscles vibrating. spoken, reverbed of this hollowed body. eye-to-eye, view- ing a soul outside this vessel; speak to the eyes to be heard ofa soul. and of last breath -- words spoke, never meant heard of interred. of last breath, to be out sole compansion of lamplight; to sprade paper scraps where images of life were found writ from mumbled hand. words, those left withered th- oughts scrapped when weened of connectiong. eyelids flutter, lack comm- itment of the soul wandering through broken roof and heaveward on and beyond an impossible sky gliterring. out into some million mile expanse -- some insurmountable spanse not even Katahdin might hope sought. simple lamp light, casting shadows, in never furnished room. they stroboscope with the fluttering -- an attempt to disavow final alone breath. a first kiss of sweetheart named death, but not that from mouth of stereo- typed sickle-carrier. death with lips full and unpainted; lips not of harlot whose eyes were long ago shut away. were long ago gone, beyond this spansed memory. death, sweetheart of childhood, wavering in the dim light; death, patient waiting found only from one love lost to the million mile spanse. sweetheart, with face to ease and supplement of spirit; out wandering awaiting spirit-loose companion in abidement of union outside the restraint of physicality. her -- death -- finding manifestation in shadows thrown through empty space. cast of oil-soaked lamp's wick turned low; vespers of shadows ever morphing. ever cooing. waiting to accompany part and leave pense upon ever-veiled soul of him whom sought an emanation's first and final kiss of unpainted lips.
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Sep 29, 2015
Sep 29, 2015 at 12:01 PM UTC
death write.
rehashing, redacting words in breath- less thought. back into, place of belonging; back for, a time of concep- tion. then, and always, exhaling tone of muscles vibrating. spoken, reverbed of this hollowed body. eye-to-eye, view- ing a soul outside this vessel; speak to the eyes to be heard ofa soul. and of last breath -- words spoke, never meant heard of interred. of last breath, to be out sole compansion of lamplight; to sprade paper scraps where images of life were found writ from mumbled hand. words, those left withered th- oughts scrapped when weened of connectiong. eyelids flutter, lack comm- itment of the soul wandering through broken roof and heaveward on and beyond an impossible sky gliterring. out into some million mile expanse -- some insurmountable spanse not even Katahdin might hope sought. simple lamp light, casting shadows, in never furnished room. they stroboscope with the fluttering -- an attempt to disavow final alone breath. a first kiss of sweetheart named death, but not that from mouth of stereo- typed sickle-carrier. death with lips full and unpainted; lips not of harlot whose eyes were long ago shut away. were long ago gone, beyond this spansed memory. death, sweetheart of childhood, wavering in the dim light; death, patient waiting found only from one love lost to the million mile spanse. sweetheart, with face to ease and supplement of spirit; out wandering awaiting spirit-loose companion in abidement of union outside the restraint of physicality. her -- death -- finding manifestation in shadows thrown through empty space. cast of oil-soaked lamp's wick turned low; vespers of shadows ever morphing. ever cooing. waiting to accompany part and leave pense upon ever-veiled soul of him whom sought an emanation's first and final kiss of unpainted lips.
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40
Yeah We talk a lot We don't say **** but we talk a lot •• ---- What's there to talk about? ---- (Yeah ! You don't say nothin either!) **** YOU! (Yeah) •• Wandering around Ancient fiefs Rehashing Sacred feuds Winning the wars Of pettiness Raised to insignificant heights Hurling **** YOUs at eachother Passing out upon the floor •• ------ LIFE ------ •• There is something to talk about It is WHY ARE WE REALLY AFRAID TO SAY ANYTHING?' our **** YOU masks disintegrating As we live on the PIG FARM called Amerikkka As we eat the **** called the Real World •• Well Have fun with your razor blades YE worshippers of DEATH! Or? Or what? Ah **** YOU! ••• ••• Yeah We talk a lot We don't say **** but we talk a lot And there is so much to talk about
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Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014 at 9:41 PM UTC
The words of the poet come from god
I knew right away when you stopped choosing me. I knew because you started only texting back one word replies, I knew because none of you snap stories from our trip included me, I knew because you started untagging yourself in my instagram pictures - that you told me to tag you in, I knew because you lied about other girls being down the shore, I knew because you changed your Facebook picture to you and a "friend", I knew because in the photo you were wearing a shirt that I bought you, I knew because you said she was just an old friend, I knew because you changed my contact name in your phone but wouldn't explain why, I knew because you started rehashing previous drama just to find an excuse, I knew because you started ignoring my calls, I knew because you said you just weren't ready for a relationship, I knew because you said you needed some space, I knew because two days later your Facebook said "In a Relationship" with the girl from your picture, I knew then that you had never been choosing me. You were placing me, into the void of whatever your life was missing. Merely a place holder until you found what you really wanted. I knew, right away that you stopped wanting me, choosing me, and loving me because you never wanted to choose me to love at all.
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Jul 25, 2021
Jul 25, 2021 at 11:13 PM UTC
I Knew
I don't want you to think of me when I'm gone if it hurts to reminisce. File the details in the back of your mind and please don't pull them out in fear of forgetting them, for they will only feed the already heavy heart. In a few weeks, or months, or whenever you're ready, really ready,  I'll have them here for you to read and recollect. I always freaked out when you licked my face and nostrils and tried to kiss my armpits and toes, but secretly enjoyed the attention and slight aggravation because i knew one day all of it would end, so I tried not to overreact every time in case you decided to actually stop for good. I knew I'd miss it when it was gone. I liked to shower with the lights off but you had to let me get in first. I loved your shoulders and wrists and rubbing them softly through the night with my fingertips. I tried to cuddle you every second i could but i think I put off so much body heat it was hard for you to sleep. I watched all of the Kevin Gates and Logic interviews because i knew you wanted me to be interested in them because you were. I wanted to take you to see the ocean and every sunset. I didn't mind holding your hand and the steering while at the same time, although i wished sometimes i could nap in the passenger seat or be the one shoving fries into your mouth at midnight. I drank every bottle of wine you bought for me and saw the conscious love in that simple gesture. I wanted more than you could give, more than anyone could, more than i could give myself. I wanted nothing more than to be able to love you and for you to love me back in the same way. I was insecure and worried that I wouldnt ever live up to the first idea you had of me. I love you. I don't want you to leave. But I will feel so pathetic if I fight for something I know you don't want anymore. I am trying to make this easy although it is killing me. I wonder how long you've been waiting for an excuse to leave me.. I wonder if she is worth throwing it all away with me. I hope so. Genuinely. I wonder if she is even the reason. Maybe I was just too clingy, too needy, too crazy, too much to put up with.   I hope that if she is the reason, there is longevity in your relationship. It would hurt even worse if I let you go and you still were unhappy. The thought of you not wanting me anymore breaks me. Your kiss on my shoulder through my soft denim shattered me. I ran away, like I always do, and I sliced my foot open and it still took everything in me not to turn around and run to you. I even tried, I almost made it, but I turned around again. I will not fight someone who won't fight back. .
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Mar 23, 2016
Mar 23, 2016 at 8:53 PM UTC
Reminiscing and rehashing
I don't want you to think of me when I'm gone if it hurts to reminisce. File the details in the back of your mind and please don't pull them out in fear of forgetting them, for they will only feed the already heavy heart. In a few weeks, or months, or whenever you're ready, really ready,  I'll have them here for you to read and recollect. I always freaked out when you licked my face and nostrils and tried to kiss my armpits and toes, but secretly enjoyed the attention and slight aggravation because i knew one day all of it would end, so I tried not to overreact every time in case you decided to actually stop for good. I knew I'd miss it when it was gone. I liked to shower with the lights off but you had to let me get in first. I loved your shoulders and wrists and rubbing them softly through the night with my fingertips. I tried to cuddle you every second i could but i think I put off so much body heat it was hard for you to sleep. I watched all of the Kevin Gates and Logic interviews because i knew you wanted me to be interested in them because you were. I wanted to take you to see the ocean and every sunset. I didn't mind holding your hand and the steering while at the same time, although i wished sometimes i could nap in the passenger seat or be the one shoving fries into your mouth at midnight. I drank every bottle of wine you bought for me and saw the conscious love in that simple gesture. I wanted more than you could give, more than anyone could, more than i could give myself. I wanted nothing more than to be able to love you and for you to love me back in the same way. I was insecure and worried that I wouldnt ever live up to the first idea you had of me. I love you. I don't want you to leave. But I will feel so pathetic if I fight for something I know you don't want anymore. I am trying to make this easy although it is killing me. I wonder how long you've been waiting for an excuse to leave me.. I wonder if she is worth throwing it all away with me. I hope so. Genuinely. I wonder if she is even the reason. Maybe I was just too clingy, too needy, too crazy, too much to put up with.   I hope that if she is the reason, there is longevity in your relationship. It would hurt even worse if I let you go and you still were unhappy. The thought of you not wanting me anymore breaks me. Your kiss on my shoulder through my soft denim shattered me. I ran away, like I always do, and I sliced my foot open and it still took everything in me not to turn around and run to you. I even tried, I almost made it, but I turned around again. I will not fight someone who won't fight back. .
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27
My child is grown Married with children of her own Life a twist of fate Divorce, judgements ,learn to hate Before God They came together She left him, a battle, a storm unable to weather They both moved on and found new love Was it a gift from above Turn about is fair play He with the new life ,wife is happy today She broken hearted dazed puzzled looked but did not blink Tears falling ,she spoke quietly Karma at play ,I think New love burns bright, then fades for all to see The way things are ,not as they should be She believes this is her punishment for wrongs of the past Devil laughing in delight she must pay her dues at last It’s hard to see your child broken hearted Knowing there is nothing I can do when two have parted A mother’s job is to listen not reply In a broken heart many bombs lie Hour spent rehashing the chain of events The things said at each other exspence I know in time this too will fade If I could save her from the pain I would make the trade So for now all I can do is be there for my child cautiously watch what I say or Her words are not meek or mild Why is it we take out our hurt on the ones we love Wasnt that the first lesson we failed with God above Hope faith and love The most important of these Is love (Bible)
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Jan 8, 2018
Jan 8, 2018 at 6:00 AM UTC
Pains of a mother
Ink blotches, coffee stains cramped fingers, chronic strain. I can't control the need, to constantly feed, my hollowed soul. With pretty words and stories, rehashing former glories. I can't- can't stop myself. For I'm trapped in a prison of my own design: a prison of pens and paper.
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Dec 19, 2014
Dec 19, 2014 at 4:57 PM UTC
Prison of Pens & Paper
Lying in bed, can't get you oughta my head. rehashing the things i said, wondering how it was read. feel bad if I made you sad Feeling glad for the times We had Wonder why I made you cry Firewood, flowers, food and fudge haven't seen you since, but from my mind you will not budge. Closed purple tulips of royalty for My Grace She shows them open totally reddens my face The stars we say are aligning, just something about the timing You seem so close but yet so far I often wonder where you are. Are you there, do you care Its hard to share, do I dare At the screen I stare Its tough to bare
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Mar 15, 2018
Mar 15, 2018 at 12:30 AM UTC
Firewood, flowers, food & fudge
We’re in the common room, Lisa and I. It’s Friday afternoon, about 2 - It’s partly-sunny and 45°f. outside. We’ve claimed the two squares of temporary rectangular sunlight like the Spanish conquistadors of old once claimed everything. I’m just drowsing, I had a test this morning, I got up at 3:30am to study for it and although I’m confident I did ok, I find myself rehashing it when I close my eyes. So I’m determinedly not closing my eyes - much. Lisa has a book open and she’s working on a chemistry problem set (called a pset) assigned as homework. Looking out and up, there’s only one, lonely, cumulonimbus cloud in the sky. It's there, as if placed - a piece of art - the rest of the sky remaining defiantly blank. At first glance, it resembled a man, hanging by his neck, blowing in the wind under a giant mushroom gallows - but he soon detached and floated away like a tattered kite. Lisa starts asking a question, without looking up from her book. “Ok, so when hydrogen acts as a metal instead of a nonmetal..” “Please don’t make me think,” I whisper in a tired monotone, “I’m unprepared.” “Ugh.” Lisa, grunted. She absorbed her disappointment quietly, without taking offense. We’re like two disparate species coexisting in the same landscape: the chemistry-tested and the soon-to-be-tested - neither diminished the other but we’re separate. Leong and Anna come in together, breaking off to their rooms to shed bookbags and coats but soon they’re filling the room with restless energy. “Has anyone heard from Sophy?” Leong asks. Sophy failed a rapid test yesterday morning and was hewn from the population like a cancer on the student body - and swooped off to isolation housing. “Yeah, I took her some stuff this morning,” I report, “She seems ok.” People are dropping to covid like flies. None of us are invincible, we roommates watch each other - as if any one of us could go full-on-zombie at any moment - not unlike I imagine dinner at the Trumps these days - everyone looking around, nonchalantly, wondering who’ll flip first - but here, if you cough, you’ll start a panic.
0
Feb 21, 2022
Feb 21, 2022 at 8:33 AM UTC
common problems
We’re in the common room, Lisa and I. It’s Friday afternoon, about 2 - It’s partly-sunny and 45°f. outside. We’ve claimed the two squares of temporary rectangular sunlight like the Spanish conquistadors of old once claimed everything. I’m just drowsing, I had a test this morning, I got up at 3:30am to study for it and although I’m confident I did ok, I find myself rehashing it when I close my eyes. So I’m determinedly not closing my eyes - much. Lisa has a book open and she’s working on a chemistry problem set (called a pset) assigned as homework. Looking out and up, there’s only one, lonely, cumulonimbus cloud in the sky. It's there, as if placed - a piece of art - the rest of the sky remaining defiantly blank. At first glance, it resembled a man, hanging by his neck, blowing in the wind under a giant mushroom gallows - but he soon detached and floated away like a tattered kite. Lisa starts asking a question, without looking up from her book. “Ok, so when hydrogen acts as a metal instead of a nonmetal..” “Please don’t make me think,” I whisper in a tired monotone, “I’m unprepared.” “Ugh.” Lisa, grunted. She absorbed her disappointment quietly, without taking offense. We’re like two disparate species coexisting in the same landscape: the chemistry-tested and the soon-to-be-tested - neither diminished the other but we’re separate. Leong and Anna come in together, breaking off to their rooms to shed bookbags and coats but soon they’re filling the room with restless energy. “Has anyone heard from Sophy?” Leong asks. Sophy failed a rapid test yesterday morning and was hewn from the population like a cancer on the student body - and swooped off to isolation housing. “Yeah, I took her some stuff this morning,” I report, “She seems ok.” People are dropping to covid like flies. None of us are invincible, we roommates watch each other - as if any one of us could go full-on-zombie at any moment - not unlike I imagine dinner at the Trumps these days - everyone looking around, nonchalantly, wondering who’ll flip first - but here, if you cough, you’ll start a panic.
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10
Note this my cohort, debunk what junk crusts your eye Dig up memory of that first trespass Loyalty sworn to innocence why? Note this disease given between my thighs Come by seek now dolor of blistered Note condemnation, impressive tongue-lashing Note my enemies' constant rehashing And how must I rehabilitate rapture? Like lamb offered in sacrificed slashing Yet given my pride, note my superb devotees Partiality given as they come and go with winter's breeze Note winter's cold and me on my knees Between two thieves strung and nailed Note glory of how love tried but failed As lamb of sacrifice last breath exhaled
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Apr 16, 2016
Apr 16, 2016 at 9:21 PM UTC
Note
We told citronella secrets Under the summer stars When the Christmas lights burned Out of the airy tent The tiki torch tradition Was newly begun. We told laughing love stories As we walked the phantom dog Down the silent, midnight road Occasionally lit up by giggling headlights. We drank soda from crinkling cans Sipping down our suppositions Rehashing the year and all Our misconceptions by the Light of the tropical Tribal flames. We told citronella secrets And shared our autumnal fantasies.
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Jul 2, 2016
Jul 2, 2016 at 10:16 PM UTC
Citronella Secrets
Eight of us sat at the table that night, Rehashing the news, Retelling the plots, Familiar voices singing old songs; Getting it right. Between hors d'oeuvres and bottles, One wife remarked, She wished her husband To be better read. To us who knew her, She said better bred. A point best kept Within her head, Silent and unsaid. He turned red, The goodly man and dad, A lad who could build From ethereal prints in his head. I could feel the company's dread. He pushed his chair out, Stood sturdy and stable, Looked at the company Sitting full round his table: *I can't read or write too good, I'd be a Stooge in Hollywood, Don't believe she said it in spite, For forty years she's been my wife. She knows I'll never change my ways, She says things just to hear her voice*. Then sat with his elbows back on the table.
0
Mar 10, 2018
Mar 10, 2018 at 12:28 PM UTC
But I Know One and One Is Two
You were my happy pill, A drug I would chug down with sugar and wine Giving me medicine for my sins You were the substance to my life The substance that I abused Getting me high so I dont feel the lows Knocking me out into sleep every night With you, I was a ****** Always happy and all jumpy Getting funky and needy But since you've been gone I'm relapsing Rehashing the feelings of intoxication Missing it, craving it, wanting it, needing it Rehashing it: Missing you, crazing you, wanting you needing you
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Jan 11, 2019
Jan 11, 2019 at 5:02 AM UTC
Love ******
Beyond the beautiful forever Untouched by the slithering mores She rises, Leaving behind the temporal obstructs She rallies past the towering walls Unhinged like raw power Full of resilience, she would move forward Rehashing the past won’t change a thing From the ashes of her past begin a new awakening Fear cannot shut her down anymore She embraced courage, dispelling the herd Rising above the cloudy vow Up above the land of chaos Only way she could live; if she would grow Now it’s the dark’s turn to be afraid
0
Aug 22, 2017
Aug 22, 2017 at 10:26 PM UTC
Beyond