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  Dec 2019 Irate Watcher
Christine Ely
that I shut my eyes to have you.
Irate Watcher Dec 2019
When hunger subsides,
I’m *****.
After I *******,
I’m thirsty
I can never feel
ok with just sitting.
If I’m not entertained,
I’m a slave to my
head  where all I want
is to quickly digress:
A new distraction
A new reaction
A new way of living.

I tell myself drink
water and be stoic,
but changing taste.
is my addiction
I can’t even enjoy
that nice feeling before...

I’m worrying about
acquiring the next.
A haste of comfort and confinement —
when will I tired of it.

My vision is blurry
and I’m happy
and everyone knows it.
The kitchen’s a mess,
but smells like heaven
My throat is closing
and the mucus is drowning me.
I wonder what condition afflicts
me, but keep on singing...

Anyways.
Irate Watcher Aug 2019
I'm coming upon a
slightly sick feeling
my forehead
is opening
and the world is
shrinking.

Like the rapture
is about to begin
like I'm holding my head
in my hands

Like I could predict something
wearing my best pajamas
and purple slippers.

I'm slightly sick to my
stomach
my blood sugar is dropping
and everything is spinning.
am I just dehydrated
or this some moment
of reckoning

Everyone next to me
is absorbed in their own
activity
do they feel the bending
the pause
the time slurring?

My chest hurts
and my phone
is slipping from my fingers
the ground is shaking
and my anxiety is rising
if I died here,
waiting for
equilibrium
to dissolve under
my tongue slowly.
Would anyone catch me?

I've never been this
affected emotionally
what a strange plane
ride
what a residual display
of yesterday's gray
trickling through me.

I'm faint
Everything is blurry
and my tongue is swelling
I'm faint
I have no way
to stand up
simple steps
feel like too much
I'm faint
Like a delicate dove
on its back
lying in your arms
barely breathing.
Irate Watcher Jun 2019
I want to be a model citizen of industry
I want to be so temperate
you can't feel my feelings.
can you swallow me darling
are you getting chilly
come up and warm me.

I want to be a snake in the ground
shout out loud a paragraph
to rally the weary
do you believe me baby
do you believe me?

I want to be reliable
instead of relying on
my personality
oh charisma charisma
an imposter you believe
so long as it's behind
a pretty face like mine..

I want to be a silent hero
do something extraordinary
that no one sees
hold your applause
till I'm deep deep deep

in the ground
I want to shout it out loud
a paragraph that resounds
with the weary...I want to
make them see

I want to make them see.
Maybe the start of a song
Irate Watcher Jun 2019
I can't process this.
I can't process this.
It's too loud and
and the sound has cut out.
I can't process this.
Irate Watcher Jun 2019
We touch. We vibe.
Has me shaking with delight.
It's electric. It's fire.

I want to touch more of you.
Irate Watcher Jun 2019
We ****** on Easter Sunday
It was awkward Monday
We basically
gave Jesus the *******
and split.
Didn’t even bother to kiss…

You just tied my hands round my back
Whispered ‘do you like that.’
I don’t know.
I don’t what this is
But I’m feeling pretty
Bliss-ed out
Not sleeping on your couch.

Since then I think of that night often
After all,
you resurrected my libido from its’ coffin.
knew you were a real man
When you didn’t wipe the blood off your hands
When it didn’t make you sick
and you didn’t come too quick

Am I **** if I **** a ****?
It was quick.
And I said never again
Let’s be friends
But now I think about it
too often in the night
Wonder why I think about

When we’re not meant to be
and lately it feels like
you’re scolding me
with your wide eyes
silently commanding,
leading me to a locked room
to undress me.
Oh **** I want it to happen again
Oh **** being friends.

I feel so restrained
Waiting day after day
jumping on ever opportunity
when you flirt with me
Lovin every second our
secret camaraderie.

Cause it’s fun. it’s a game
And the dynamic is different but the same
Not talking about what we did
on Easter Sunday.
Cause **** Monday.
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