Jun 13 Courtney Pruitt
I’m losing my humanity
Is it possible to appreciate beauty without wanting to conquer it.
I feel intimidated by the worthy
I'd rather kiss and forgive myself
he's not what I wanted.

Our history is a machete chopping down the thickness
agile cougars watch indignant.
as we chop down a home
we are too stupid to find comfort in.
I wrote this four years ago but feel like it still applies.
Always looking to improve
Follows through on what he says he will do
Patient and kind
Loves my body
as much as my mind
Looking for a partner in life.
(not a token, soon-to-be wife).

Serious, passionate,
but knows when to let loose.
Makes me laugh,
his personality
eager and endearing;
his humor
absurd and sarcastic.

He doesn't ask what I want to do,
but if I ask
he'll be down to do it too.
He wants me to be apart
of his friend group.
He's charismatic but grounded.
My parents and extended
would adopt him in a second.
He helps my dad in the yard.
He helps me when I'm stuck
in a broken down car.

He's cute and insanely smart.
His kisses leave me weak from the start.
He always honest and upfront,
reflective about any harm he's caused
to anyone.

He's everyone's doorman,
but no doormat.
A attentive confident.
A best friend.

He is well-read
but can see
what's missing on
the page.
He isn't afraid
of what he hasn't read
or what he doesn't know...yet.

He's not a hipster
or pretentious
but isn't against kale chips
or anything equally ridiculous.

He has a passion,
maybe two,
but isn't so absorbed
he forgets
there are other things too.
But isn't just floating either.
He has some direction;
He is looking to inspire.

He's a feminist
and not because
it's PC and cool.
He empathizes
with the issues
and is interested
in talking WITH
women about them.

He's comfortable
chilling with my friends.
Even the most
difficult people
don't bother him.

He is healthy.
Does some sort of physical
activity. Loves getting physical
with me. Is not opposed
to going down on me.
But isn't like obsessed with it.
That's just weird.

Interested in actively
deepening our
physical and emotional

For him,
everyday is an adventure
he'd love to spend with me.

He plans at least half our dates.
He rarely complains.
Am I asking for too much? Lol. My mom told me to write down my requirements years ago and I finally did it. I like the poem form because it feel less abstract than a list of traits or qualities.
What a strange dream
I had of us
on the beach.
Gritty and grimy
you pushed me into the
sand and I loved
how I sunk so
deep into it
the waves clapping at my legs
almost halfway
the coolness in this summer
heat tickling
getting wet
and drying off so
I want to know
what you do alone
in the quiet hours
when no one is home.

When it's just you
sitting on cold tile floors
in a dark kitchen
The fridge light
shining upon you
like heaven
casting the deepest
of shadows.

I want to know what you're doing
when the sun goes down
and your body is tired
from being upright all day.
how do you unwind?
how do you turn
from red to blue
like the charging light?

What do you eat
and do you take care
to prepare it?
Or do you throw a
frozen piece of
plastic in the microwave
and get it over with.

Are you sad?
Can you smile?
Can you preocupe yourself until
the mug and coffee again,
again, for awhile.
Full steam ahead on life!
I'm just going to live my life,
not waiting for you to be apart of it.

I have too many things to do.

I have too many places to see,
people to meet,
people to love,
people to care for deep.

To wait for you to decide
if I'm worth your time,
if I'm convenient enough,
to meet up for drinks
or sushi
or to cook you dinner...

You rejected me.
I don't need that.

I need someone
Someone whose
Someone who just wants to.
And I want to too.

I'll be honest.
The little person in me
knew you weren't ready.
But I was looking away.
I couldn't hear her.

We were good vibes, gazing eyes,
and then nothing at all.
There's no more time
to confront it.
I'm already over it.
I'm not looking back.
It's time to move on.
I've already moved on.


We can't get it back.

I'm past it.
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