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"pubescent" poems
(Warning: This poem has been de-activated on another site. You must be 18 yrs. old to read this; although we were only 15 then) Way back then, When we were Post-pubescent Boys, We sat in a circle, Not a **** ring, And rhymed our things Like this: You make my **** rock;       You make my thing sing;       You make my **** stink;       You make my log throb;         You make my stick thick;       You make my chub rub; You make my ******* long;   You make my stump jump;   You make my pole roll;         You make my wiener leaner; You make my bone moan;     You make my man stand;       You make my limp primp;     You make my rod applaud; You make my spear smear;     You make my peter sweeter;   You make my one eye cry. And all in unison: You make my hard on. We'd continue with our lines, Til the case was as empty As our rhymes. Them there days of simple joys, Post pubescent Boys with  toys.
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Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 11:04 AM UTC
Boys With Toys
It takes me back It pulls me close To itself, I cannot leave ln my dreams While I dose The summer scent of mango tree I remember well When we were young My friend and I hung on its arms, Cuddling the leaves. Now remain Just memories, echoes of a simpler past The flowers promised June was close Summer's sins would be redeemed By the childhood paradise Salted raw mango slice Overarching newborn smiles Yellow sun on green leaves Greenish-yellow chrysoberyl Oasis of the summertime I remember picking them up From the rooftop of boyhood-life Our winged friends came, bees, monkeys too Attempting another bite Fond, fond memories Mother used to cut and bring us mangoes While I tasted the golden slice My granny told me stories of The tree, it stood there when they built this house When she was eight or nine This fruit, this taste Connects this land Magnifera indica The secular deity of the mango nation You cannot begin to understand The gift of Indian summer My childhood wrapped in emerald leaves The whiff, the scent, I transcend Time;go to an age when all was well Or at the least, to me it seemed As I'm taking a bite of this season's last mango As the golden drops stick to my pubescent stache I remember a conversation I had The mango tree It talked to me No, I'm not crazy It was the mango tree Little things in life Leave something Oh!so many memories
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Mar 28, 2021
Mar 28, 2021 at 5:35 PM UTC
Mango Nation
I lost my innocence when I was small It was what had caused me to build up walls The older one you are supposed to trust Made me cry with his pubescent lust Just five years old when it began to start Eleven when he had a change of heart The smell, the room, the feel of the bed Are the very things that stay in my head I could not tell for who would believe That this boy would do this to his niece Not all can understand my shame Or even know where to place the blame The small girl with blue eyes and blonde hair Or the pre-teen boy with an arrogant air At five you don’t understand that it’s bad But you always know it makes you sad I have since came to terms with what happened to me An innocence lost that will no longer be Nevermore will I hide this shame I will forever refuse to hide his name I have confronted my demon from my past It is his disgrace that will now last
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Mar 22, 2014
Mar 22, 2014 at 9:54 PM UTC
Innocence Lost
are you generally happy? a semi-innocuous query now actualized as a two sided bladed poker, hot stabbing me smack dab in the chests hollow crown bullseye, continuously,  as in all life long, and eternal longing for a “yes” it fits inside a pubescent aged wound that refreshes with every breath; a life long struggle for an accurate definition, be a general of genuine happy, that alone would deliver, bringing on bright day satisfaction as a human, one operates on parallel continuums; slide slipping on well oiled poles that over the years, their lengths, increasing with add-on extender poles formed by twisty turny slips and falls of sundered hearts and sad loves, marriages nicknamed Titanic, children found and lost, complications responsibilities that are denied meeting the words     “The End” a life that many would envy, questioning what’s wrong with you dude, are you blinded to the riches yours, reality is shoulders permanently bent, a spine that’s held together by spit and solder and curved by wearying wearing longing for a straightness that is also called crooked unobtainable and a piece of a peace that comes and goes like a highway billboard that you pass too fast to be fully read the body is corroding and worser yet to come and that’s a hand you selected - luck of the self-selecting-drawing - the opioids of the mind offers are rejected the clarity of painful self exploration valued overall - the place where the poems come from, and go to die, a landscape of a scene repeatedly visualized but never been and never left, the crazy contradictions come in two flavors; vanilla smiles and chocolate weeping of tears that have etched pathways cheek-chiseled the city is a struggling strife for most, the next red line on the side of the measuring cup  and everyone has a cell, a credit card, and a measuring cup <•> here I stop can’t finish   someone missing alerts me to their real worlds troubles making my complaints super superficial but the silent running of the stilleto cuts shallow repeated hourly the cut color, pitch black
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May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 2:05 PM UTC
are you generally happy?
are you generally happy? a semi-innocuous query now actualized as a two sided bladed poker, hot stabbing me smack dab in the chests hollow crown bullseye, continuously,  as in all life long, and eternal longing for a “yes” it fits inside a pubescent aged wound that refreshes with every breath; a life long struggle for an accurate definition, be a general of genuine happy, that alone would deliver, bringing on bright day satisfaction as a human, one operates on parallel continuums; slide slipping on well oiled poles that over the years, their lengths, increasing with add-on extender poles formed by twisty turny slips and falls of sundered hearts and sad loves, marriages nicknamed Titanic, children found and lost, complications responsibilities that are denied meeting the words     “The End” a life that many would envy, questioning what’s wrong with you dude, are you blinded to the riches yours, reality is shoulders permanently bent, a spine that’s held together by spit and solder and curved by wearying wearing longing for a straightness that is also called crooked unobtainable and a piece of a peace that comes and goes like a highway billboard that you pass too fast to be fully read the body is corroding and worser yet to come and that’s a hand you selected - luck of the self-selecting-drawing - the opioids of the mind offers are rejected the clarity of painful self exploration valued overall - the place where the poems come from, and go to die, a landscape of a scene repeatedly visualized but never been and never left, the crazy contradictions come in two flavors; vanilla smiles and chocolate weeping of tears that have etched pathways cheek-chiseled the city is a struggling strife for most, the next red line on the side of the measuring cup  and everyone has a cell, a credit card, and a measuring cup <•> here I stop can’t finish   someone missing alerts me to their real worlds troubles making my complaints super superficial but the silent running of the stilleto cuts shallow repeated hourly the cut color, pitch black
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54
Your name, has become a curse word that falls from my lips. The picture of you in my head, has become blurred and wants to be forgotten. Your voice, has become a door that lacks oil. The way you move your body, must be because of your deceiving bones. Your rat like eyes, have become the worst color of diarrhea. I know this is not the just the “Call out a back stabbers” poem, lets name the flaws on and in my own skin, that just so happened, to be pointed out by you. As you covered my face in nine pounds of a “makeover”, you said you couldn’t see the flaws on my skin anymore. Flaws? You went far enough to point the pubescent scars. of my lips, cheeks, and chin. The shyness I have of talking to my friends, was pointed out because you didn’t have someone to talk to that night. Excuse me, but I thought the effort of the friendship was supposed to be put forth by both “friends”? Next, near the end of the friendship, you often told me I was a terrible friend. I cried. A lot. Later when that came up, you told me you were just trying to make a point. Why as a friend didn’t you just try to talk to me, instead of trying to start insignificant bull crap? But here I sit now, with friends that could always be so much better than you. I often hear your snickering words behind me a your lunch table, and I turn around and smile at you and your “friend’. You usually **** your head in confusion, but really, that's me. The 15 year old giant ginger with a second graders personality, stinking my pinky finger up at you to flip you off in Chinese, and to say in a nonexistent voice, “frick you”.
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Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 1:09 AM UTC
A Pinkie and a Second Graders Personality
Your name, has become a curse word that falls from my lips. The picture of you in my head, has become blurred and wants to be forgotten. Your voice, has become a door that lacks oil. The way you move your body, must be because of your deceiving bones. Your rat like eyes, have become the worst color of diarrhea. I know this is not the just the “Call out a back stabbers” poem, lets name the flaws on and in my own skin, that just so happened, to be pointed out by you. As you covered my face in nine pounds of a “makeover”, you said you couldn’t see the flaws on my skin anymore. Flaws? You went far enough to point the pubescent scars. of my lips, cheeks, and chin. The shyness I have of talking to my friends, was pointed out because you didn’t have someone to talk to that night. Excuse me, but I thought the effort of the friendship was supposed to be put forth by both “friends”? Next, near the end of the friendship, you often told me I was a terrible friend. I cried. A lot. Later when that came up, you told me you were just trying to make a point. Why as a friend didn’t you just try to talk to me, instead of trying to start insignificant bull crap? But here I sit now, with friends that could always be so much better than you. I often hear your snickering words behind me a your lunch table, and I turn around and smile at you and your “friend’. You usually **** your head in confusion, but really, that's me. The 15 year old giant ginger with a second graders personality, stinking my pinky finger up at you to flip you off in Chinese, and to say in a nonexistent voice, “frick you”.
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43
The last one thinks of, yet the most Important ‒ the blind use it to feel Bumps in the pavement, and the Deaf are tapped on the shoulder To get their attention. Because of texture and good company, The absence of smell and taste don’t Ruin a good meal. As infants we survive by being Touched ‒ love is given by both Parents, whose skin is recognized As the warmth it provides. When we grow ‒ the pubescent years And beyond ‒ girls still whisper, kiss And touch each other as signs of Affection. Boys grow up touch-deprived ‒ what Makes them different? ‒ Male fears That men don’t touch because that’s A sign of being queer?  Likely. Sure, guys touch ‒ slaps on the **** Playing sports, the snapping of Towels in the shower room ‒ nothing Gay about that! Or is this sudden lack of tactile affect A sign of maleness?  If so, we wouldn’t Shake hands ‒ or high-five or hug our Brothers and best friends. Consider the massage ‒ visiting the Parlor run by Asian ladies, which for A 20-spot more brings a ******* ‒ But answer an ad for online service From a guy, and NOPE, not me! Not unless of course the wife Doesn’t put out no more or is Sick ‒ then any excuse works. But, that doesn’t mean I’m…. No, dude, it doesn’t, but any Port in a storm ‒ we all know What sailors do when at sea for Months, or do we? Maybe it’s just American men Who are hung up ‒ The French And Italians don’t seem to be Paranoid, and Russian men are Said to kiss each other on the lips! So, maybe our psyches could use A tune-up ‒ a lesson from a wise And happy soccer player/philosopher ‒ “If it feels good, and doesn’t hurt Anybody, do it!”   © Lewis Bosworth, 12/2016
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Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 1:39 PM UTC
The Sense of Touch
The last one thinks of, yet the most Important ‒ the blind use it to feel Bumps in the pavement, and the Deaf are tapped on the shoulder To get their attention. Because of texture and good company, The absence of smell and taste don’t Ruin a good meal. As infants we survive by being Touched ‒ love is given by both Parents, whose skin is recognized As the warmth it provides. When we grow ‒ the pubescent years And beyond ‒ girls still whisper, kiss And touch each other as signs of Affection. Boys grow up touch-deprived ‒ what Makes them different? ‒ Male fears That men don’t touch because that’s A sign of being queer?  Likely. Sure, guys touch ‒ slaps on the **** Playing sports, the snapping of Towels in the shower room ‒ nothing Gay about that! Or is this sudden lack of tactile affect A sign of maleness?  If so, we wouldn’t Shake hands ‒ or high-five or hug our Brothers and best friends. Consider the massage ‒ visiting the Parlor run by Asian ladies, which for A 20-spot more brings a ******* ‒ But answer an ad for online service From a guy, and NOPE, not me! Not unless of course the wife Doesn’t put out no more or is Sick ‒ then any excuse works. But, that doesn’t mean I’m…. No, dude, it doesn’t, but any Port in a storm ‒ we all know What sailors do when at sea for Months, or do we? Maybe it’s just American men Who are hung up ‒ The French And Italians don’t seem to be Paranoid, and Russian men are Said to kiss each other on the lips! So, maybe our psyches could use A tune-up ‒ a lesson from a wise And happy soccer player/philosopher ‒ “If it feels good, and doesn’t hurt Anybody, do it!”   © Lewis Bosworth, 12/2016
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52
High speed **** generation warped minds strong hands unreality stimulating, simulating digital lights flickering images of ******* endless variety of every kind on demand what has become of us what has become of touching, romance creepy accusations because genuine human interaction is going the way of the dodo, Oh, he didn't follow the smooth script, no chance man Maybe your testosterone was spent elsewhere and your vibes told the true true either way no *** for you the youth exploited and exploiting, insane cycles the itch, the tingle, the curiosity, the drive for more, dopamine release My generation had the first ******** access point and click no barriers can stop that drive, rooted in youthful pubescent longing we're sick on the digital drug Touch me instead bath me in your *** not this crude moving picture Let me drink you, taste your juice, feel you slide, touch the walls of your world, explode them, show the limitless illusion to boundaries, kink, ********** stop watching, live it chronic ************ robs us of the real intimacy, don't drain your desire for me with this crude digital ******* just because its there You can touch me, not your keyboard, not this plastic and metal I suppose you can touch yourself, but have the imagination to fantasize and then make it real share your life force with a human being, not some rag to be thrown away Rise to your lust, conquer the animal make its power serve make love, not digital mental war
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Jan 9, 2014
Jan 9, 2014 at 12:28 PM UTC
Growing Up with High Speed ****
nineteen the age of uncertainty underdeveloped prefrontal cortex development of morality nineteen inside, still a child outside fully pubescent on your own nineteen too young for the real thing but slowly learning the landscape to the world of adulthood nineteen the age of beauty blossoming realizations living nineteen the worlds not what it seems experience things in a new way that you never though existed nineteen the peak of psychological disorders anxiety and depression heartache fear, instability and restlessness nineteen last year as a teen a year filled with mystery and hope life love not a breath wasted if you know how, keep breathing
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Dec 26, 2010
Dec 26, 2010 at 7:42 PM UTC
Nineteen
I like my headphones for the Insulation. Sometimes my ears Take in too much stray noise, Dredge up too much disorienting Mud from the depths of a TV Screen or an iPod. Then I can Always snuggle into my headphones And be silent - and silence is a Dear dear commodity, to be sure, When every other scene- Stealing, pudgy-mouthed buffoon Has to put his ten cents in. So Much sound should be a sin; Background music, ambient noise, Music for airports, and pubescent Boys screeching from tinny silver Speakers near the wall. I don't Want it, not every bit, not all The hate and the slippery tongues That speak and salivate and don't Say anything human. I want to reprimand, To excommunicate them from This Holy rite of sound. (And really, I would be content to never hear Music if I could block out the roundabout Fights and the sultry nightlife descriptions Gushing from my screen, if I could Use my headphones to keep That liquid crystal from pouring in My too needfully silent ears.) Maybe I'll follow a painter's path: All visuals and open dripping wet Wrath with a noisy race. I can be a Terrifying girl. Cut off my ears and Be deaf to the world. Wrap me in Canvas and chase me back into the Woods on a starry starry night.
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Sep 28, 2010
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:29 PM UTC
Headphones
What is that reality that appears to me in dreams, chock-full of misgivings and doubt. I counteract my fear of life with my fears of slumber, dust in my eyes and stiff as lumber. In truth - I'm not stiffened by fear, by nausea, post-pubescent sacrilege, or all of the above. I'm not up-kept, grizzly with ennui; I'm dizzy, confiding my loss. I feel the lips that kiss but can't be drawn: from mind, stencil paper pen, on sheets of thick pale and cellulose, for the heart to mend. My unsteady hand is my fearful friend A soft embrace from a warm mind Somber and so full of Life clung to by the scent of Death Endowed with an eternal promise and regret from veins of plants or the glow of stars. Cold, mechanical debt. (my heart, so full of...) (my mind, so hot with...) (my body, trembling in...) I am gulf-like a stream full of trees and glass echoing a promise of shattering wind. Will I be published after my death, asleep predating, a life conceived. Will I live to see myself alone, and to discover that which I'm not? Or will I stutter and wallow a curse, Up towards the sky, Until the final verse. On a boast or chasing the Rail, pale as dirt, and shallow still. Will my true love abandon,  break, strain, Burn away the wax, or hurry to blame? Omit my evils from the star-charts, then just to vacate the void. From the half-broken corridors of rocks, nooks, crannies. Carry laughter through the night burn the effigy bowed-down, before dawn's courageous, ever-splaying light Angels, of Carlo and Marx, plenty by noon festoon, again by day thus replay, Endeavor to infinity, fair child. Remold the light by Day and remold the Day by Night.
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Feb 23, 2013
Feb 23, 2013 at 12:53 AM UTC
Tenderness
What is that reality that appears to me in dreams, chock-full of misgivings and doubt. I counteract my fear of life with my fears of slumber, dust in my eyes and stiff as lumber. In truth - I'm not stiffened by fear, by nausea, post-pubescent sacrilege, or all of the above. I'm not up-kept, grizzly with ennui; I'm dizzy, confiding my loss. I feel the lips that kiss but can't be drawn: from mind, stencil paper pen, on sheets of thick pale and cellulose, for the heart to mend. My unsteady hand is my fearful friend A soft embrace from a warm mind Somber and so full of Life clung to by the scent of Death Endowed with an eternal promise and regret from veins of plants or the glow of stars. Cold, mechanical debt. (my heart, so full of...) (my mind, so hot with...) (my body, trembling in...) I am gulf-like a stream full of trees and glass echoing a promise of shattering wind. Will I be published after my death, asleep predating, a life conceived. Will I live to see myself alone, and to discover that which I'm not? Or will I stutter and wallow a curse, Up towards the sky, Until the final verse. On a boast or chasing the Rail, pale as dirt, and shallow still. Will my true love abandon,  break, strain, Burn away the wax, or hurry to blame? Omit my evils from the star-charts, then just to vacate the void. From the half-broken corridors of rocks, nooks, crannies. Carry laughter through the night burn the effigy bowed-down, before dawn's courageous, ever-splaying light Angels, of Carlo and Marx, plenty by noon festoon, again by day thus replay, Endeavor to infinity, fair child. Remold the light by Day and remold the Day by Night.
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73
When the first words out of his mouth was "Sup ***** I knew a certain few things 1. He was not getting laid tonight. 2. None of us in this room know why he's the party leader, All glancing at each other in awe nodding like a hive mind chanting yes, this man is in fact an ******* no, i don't know how he rose to power yes, he did just call us ***** 3. I could think of a million one liners that would earn me way more respect up front than that. I don't know what I was expecting walking into this basement Maybe some small fame The same small fame I get from getting on a stage for slam poetry or being cast in a reality T.v. show Or singing kareoke at my local bar. Maybe for the free pizza We've all been there. And yes, maybe it was for the revenge. the campaign slogan you stamped recruitment posters with. Join the evil league of evil! Launch revenge against the modern heroes of today! But when I sit down in this small fold up metal lawn chair, in what is presumably his moms basement Behind a projecter  (also probablly his moms) Next to captain nose bleed And princess ******** I already don't have a whole lot of faith in his agenda So when his opening line Was "Sup ***** Like that is some sort of impressive villanous monolouge peared down into one and a half words. I lost any ounce of faith I had in this cult. And decided to Usurp this "Party Leader". Now you might be asking: Why? Why would you want to be the head of the evil league of evil? Founded in this pre pubescent boys moms basement Whos only followers so far seem to be captain nosebleed, and princess ******** Well clearly You don't understand. Captain nosebleed is already under the thumb of princess ******** I mean lets be real without princess ******** We're three dudes in a basement Pretending to be super villans. And you've been known to be pretty charming. But in your friends evil lair. Sorry Moms basement. You start to evaluate your situation Gotta make a descision. Are you fighting for Revenge, or the small fame?
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Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 2:53 PM UTC
Welcome to the Evil League of Evil (on highschool)
When the first words out of his mouth was "Sup ***** I knew a certain few things 1. He was not getting laid tonight. 2. None of us in this room know why he's the party leader, All glancing at each other in awe nodding like a hive mind chanting yes, this man is in fact an ******* no, i don't know how he rose to power yes, he did just call us ***** 3. I could think of a million one liners that would earn me way more respect up front than that. I don't know what I was expecting walking into this basement Maybe some small fame The same small fame I get from getting on a stage for slam poetry or being cast in a reality T.v. show Or singing kareoke at my local bar. Maybe for the free pizza We've all been there. And yes, maybe it was for the revenge. the campaign slogan you stamped recruitment posters with. Join the evil league of evil! Launch revenge against the modern heroes of today! But when I sit down in this small fold up metal lawn chair, in what is presumably his moms basement Behind a projecter  (also probablly his moms) Next to captain nose bleed And princess ******** I already don't have a whole lot of faith in his agenda So when his opening line Was "Sup ***** Like that is some sort of impressive villanous monolouge peared down into one and a half words. I lost any ounce of faith I had in this cult. And decided to Usurp this "Party Leader". Now you might be asking: Why? Why would you want to be the head of the evil league of evil? Founded in this pre pubescent boys moms basement Whos only followers so far seem to be captain nosebleed, and princess ******** Well clearly You don't understand. Captain nosebleed is already under the thumb of princess ******** I mean lets be real without princess ******** We're three dudes in a basement Pretending to be super villans. And you've been known to be pretty charming. But in your friends evil lair. Sorry Moms basement. You start to evaluate your situation Gotta make a descision. Are you fighting for Revenge, or the small fame?
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56
Remember, one Summer, street was closed for construction We'd careen through the roads near each other's homes. Wheeling through dreams on our bikes in the swelter we'd reach for the sky 'neath the cottonwoods' dome. Some nights, I still walk through those baseball glove hours-- those sweat-smelling days                                        and those Kool-Aid stain weeks. And I can still feel that pubescent laughter which lived in my chest                                        and still pounds for release. I've leased some apartments and filed my taxes. I've broken some promises                                         and            I've been destroyed And I've been rebuilt, but never rebranded                             Those                 Summer time sunsets                tattooed on my sinews,               they just wouldn't have it.
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Sep 1, 2022
Sep 1, 2022 at 1:06 PM UTC
The Houses We Lived In
The funny thing about life                                               Is how we all have different perceptions and opinions                                                                                                                                                On the same topics But ha, Nowadays we've all got to be nonconformists Rebellion is tricky thing to master To go against society is pretty much impossible When the rest of society goes against itself So those who rebel against the normal Are so numerous that rebellion has become normal conformity so to speak, Has been lost in the eyes of adolescence And blinded by the ideas That being yourself Is mainstream But be different But that's too average light in the prism of teenage life Is bent to show illusions and be deceptive To tell us its accepted to be a unaccepted Lets head back to the time where preppy cheerleaders and brain-dead football jocks Ruled the hallways And il-pubescent band geeks were shoved into lockers Like in the movies Where only real society is existent
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Mar 22, 2012
Mar 22, 2012 at 10:15 PM UTC
All The "Hipsters"
between giggles, toys and text messages, dolls emulate strippers and **** stars; ~ did you know...? between lights-out and sunrise, sleep-over tongues and pubescent fingers linger down-low deep into the night; ~ did you know...? between the final  whistle and the minvan-drive home, men and boys mingle naked in shower stalls eye to eye-ball; ~ did you know...? between study hall and midnight, the temperature in boarding rooms rises like butter beans and burritos baking prurient pies to last a lifetime or 2; ~ did you know...? between the clean wedding and nasty divorce, covers are blown like crack ho's hustlin' for a hit, exposing every vice and the woeful frailty of man ~ did you know...? between birth, puberty and death, humans emulate dogs, weasels, and fleas; ~ did you know...? ~ P (#Pablo#DYK) (8/10/2013)
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Aug 10, 2013
Aug 10, 2013 at 3:55 PM UTC
Did You Know...
When Rudolph became post-pubescent His nose became non-luminescent. The ladies, elated, said "Look, it's migrated, And see what is now iridescent!
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Sep 14, 2016
Sep 14, 2016 at 7:09 PM UTC
The Reindeer
Longing, probably. A feeling of need. For things. Places. Longing, such a melodramatic word Disgusting. Dreams described as something so weak. Almost rude Saying these feelings, these needs Are little more than a flight of fancy. A lusting from a pubescent teen boy Over some pin-up model. Longing, needing, wanting... I mean, ****** I NEED THESE THINGS is all All that my ever-noisy mind screams "I've seen your drawings. "Your mind must be like an acid trip." Not a good one. Constant, consistent, ever-present, complete need for Stupid, useless things For people who give not a care in the world about me Places that don't want me... An acid trip, a bad one, dark voices yelling at me, My guilt full of egotistical self-blame. "Everything has to be someone's fault. "Always. "It must be mine." My fault, my fault, mine mine mine Always always my fault. Stupid stupid I can't even get things wrong right. Or whatever. ****** Longing for understanding, To understand my inner desires. For things. The rude word of longing Tainting even the shameful wants and needs in my heart. Stupid...
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Mar 22, 2013
Mar 22, 2013 at 1:44 AM UTC
Longing, Probably.
It's just a bite, what harm could it do? It triggers a domino effect, because one bite invariably turns into two, and three, and four and all of a sudden you're eating. But you can't do that, because being skinny will make everything better. You look in the mirror, hoping to see ribs and spine and hip-bones. You stretch your skin farther over your bones, and watch the fat melt away. You are skinny, and you are indestructible. Nothing fits. You shop for new clothes but they sag in all the wrong places. Nothing pulls over your chest the way it used to, instead it hangs there limply. There are inches of extra fabric behind your thighs. Your hips used to be graceful and womanly, but now you look like a pre-pubescent child. Being skinny just isn't fun anymore. But you can't go back, because you remember times when you'd stand in front of dressing room mirrors and clothes would s t r e t c h over your stomach and hips and thighs and ******* Everything would be too tight in all the wrong places. It is either skinny or fat, never an in-between. You can never be "healthy" because that's fat too. And the food is still on your plate while all of this runs through your mind and it almost kills you, because it's JUST A BITE. but it isn't 'just' anything. it's a big deal. So you leave the bite behind and your stomach begs you for something, anything. And then you see the candy. The chips. The diet sodas. The protein bars. The brownies. The ice cream. The milkshakes. And suddenly you are out of control, eating it all at once and you can't stop. It goes in but it HAS TO COME OUT. So you lock yourself in the stall. You tickle the back of your throat with your pointer finger and it comes back. Purple, Orange, Blue. Unnatural colors that come from processed foods. Red, yellow, green. And you are empty again, crying on the bathroom floor with no one to save you.
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Feb 3, 2014
Feb 3, 2014 at 1:49 PM UTC
Skinny
It's just a bite, what harm could it do? It triggers a domino effect, because one bite invariably turns into two, and three, and four and all of a sudden you're eating. But you can't do that, because being skinny will make everything better. You look in the mirror, hoping to see ribs and spine and hip-bones. You stretch your skin farther over your bones, and watch the fat melt away. You are skinny, and you are indestructible. Nothing fits. You shop for new clothes but they sag in all the wrong places. Nothing pulls over your chest the way it used to, instead it hangs there limply. There are inches of extra fabric behind your thighs. Your hips used to be graceful and womanly, but now you look like a pre-pubescent child. Being skinny just isn't fun anymore. But you can't go back, because you remember times when you'd stand in front of dressing room mirrors and clothes would s t r e t c h over your stomach and hips and thighs and ******* Everything would be too tight in all the wrong places. It is either skinny or fat, never an in-between. You can never be "healthy" because that's fat too. And the food is still on your plate while all of this runs through your mind and it almost kills you, because it's JUST A BITE. but it isn't 'just' anything. it's a big deal. So you leave the bite behind and your stomach begs you for something, anything. And then you see the candy. The chips. The diet sodas. The protein bars. The brownies. The ice cream. The milkshakes. And suddenly you are out of control, eating it all at once and you can't stop. It goes in but it HAS TO COME OUT. So you lock yourself in the stall. You tickle the back of your throat with your pointer finger and it comes back. Purple, Orange, Blue. Unnatural colors that come from processed foods. Red, yellow, green. And you are empty again, crying on the bathroom floor with no one to save you.
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35
Strange times. When I speak of caressing your mantic lungs I don’t know what I mean, but I know I would hurl you under proper circumstances. Darling, one whisper falls from a tree silently so as not to wake the ghosts from their siestas. Your robe has holes I can’t write of. I can fathom getting there, what that might entail, wrapping, as I am prone to, my fingers around your furry pincers while I wait for you to read my rights to the ceiling fan who whirls above our renovated combustions like the glowering eye of our Lord upon the teary-eyed wicked. I am not looking to escape through the window, darling. I am diving for your diamond-in-the-rough, peeling off barnacles, making moustaches of seaweed. You threw it into that ocean- sized trough in which you drown lizards as way of stress-release. I don’t know what I’ll do next. The poor man. You give me your hand, darling, and your robe, your robe is shiny like a pubescent star, and it shimmies like a wagon piecing itself apart, as you piece yourself apart, starting with your smile, which was always more like a photograph of a dune in a textbook. You give me your hand. It is a blue egg dusted with microorganisms. I sprinkle it with our fragrance, what’s left of it. I wish happiness upon your sleep-life, doldrums upon your late-night haunting. I am tired and these machines are so convenient, bringing me on all-expenses- paid visits to the site of your burial. Or is it your sister’s? I quote, my heart is like a walled onion. The poor man is tired. It is not 1904 anymore. You are not smiling anymore, darling, but you give me your hand. You give it in a basket with parsley and cheese and cut-outs from The Waterlogged God. You give it almost grudgingly but I will keep it. You tell me you’ve been dreaming again of train stations. I wonder what that means. I wonder about your eyes. There are many spiders inside the wall, and along it, and on the chandelier’s fingers, and inside the spiders. I quote, a dream is worth a thousand dustpans, but you, darling, are worth so much more than dustpans. But I grow weepy, as stated. What do those dark blue lines mean? Your fingers, darling, smell of a dark cloud in an electrical storm. Your palm is a circus. Your nails ticket stubs. That one’s from the alligator show. You dislocated your throat. I had a plan. If you stare into someone’s eyes for more than six seconds, you’ll want to lick them.
0
May 25, 2010
May 25, 2010 at 8:20 PM UTC
My Life as Heiress to Your Throne, Darling
Strange times. When I speak of caressing your mantic lungs I don’t know what I mean, but I know I would hurl you under proper circumstances. Darling, one whisper falls from a tree silently so as not to wake the ghosts from their siestas. Your robe has holes I can’t write of. I can fathom getting there, what that might entail, wrapping, as I am prone to, my fingers around your furry pincers while I wait for you to read my rights to the ceiling fan who whirls above our renovated combustions like the glowering eye of our Lord upon the teary-eyed wicked. I am not looking to escape through the window, darling. I am diving for your diamond-in-the-rough, peeling off barnacles, making moustaches of seaweed. You threw it into that ocean- sized trough in which you drown lizards as way of stress-release. I don’t know what I’ll do next. The poor man. You give me your hand, darling, and your robe, your robe is shiny like a pubescent star, and it shimmies like a wagon piecing itself apart, as you piece yourself apart, starting with your smile, which was always more like a photograph of a dune in a textbook. You give me your hand. It is a blue egg dusted with microorganisms. I sprinkle it with our fragrance, what’s left of it. I wish happiness upon your sleep-life, doldrums upon your late-night haunting. I am tired and these machines are so convenient, bringing me on all-expenses- paid visits to the site of your burial. Or is it your sister’s? I quote, my heart is like a walled onion. The poor man is tired. It is not 1904 anymore. You are not smiling anymore, darling, but you give me your hand. You give it in a basket with parsley and cheese and cut-outs from The Waterlogged God. You give it almost grudgingly but I will keep it. You tell me you’ve been dreaming again of train stations. I wonder what that means. I wonder about your eyes. There are many spiders inside the wall, and along it, and on the chandelier’s fingers, and inside the spiders. I quote, a dream is worth a thousand dustpans, but you, darling, are worth so much more than dustpans. But I grow weepy, as stated. What do those dark blue lines mean? Your fingers, darling, smell of a dark cloud in an electrical storm. Your palm is a circus. Your nails ticket stubs. That one’s from the alligator show. You dislocated your throat. I had a plan. If you stare into someone’s eyes for more than six seconds, you’ll want to lick them.
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46
The subtle cross between intersections, a life of blurriness, through crossed t’s and neatly dotted i’s I removed from the phrase Poetic Form, (trying to spell it without crossing myself back into it). From lesbianism to manhood, to cross what being a man means, I wonder if my own identity is written in pen and everyone wants it typed and edited, Yet I’ve taken the plastic keys off my computer board and made them into magnets last week, Setting myself up with stolen magnets stolen blocks, Putting them in order on my own fridge, Scrambling them back because there is no order, They only told you there was so that way you’d sing a song, But I know now that I can write words, there’s no need for a pre-prescribed song when I’ve written my own, In my own words. When I look back and have pages of songs nobody else asked for or decided to write, When I’m in class and I pocket my songs into stories and my stories under my low grades, Under my teachers’ requests for MLA format, I think of that caterpillar I played with in my room when I was six, And how i thought about how people only wrote about butterflies And how the caterpillars felt about that, So when I asked my mother to ask her friend, an author, If she’d write me into a novel, Would she ignore me because I was a caterpillar, Only choosing to open her mouth and write when my story became beautiful and socially acceptable, When it grew out from the pubescent disliking of itself and stained the sinks of society, Out of a hot *** of queer and quarantine, Till the broth of the fluidity of my own being was was down the rabbit hole Till all that was left was whitewashed spaghetti? If these songs were anything I could write down again and again, In pen, ignoring the requests to write neater, To type faster, If I put all my work into an envelope I already broke, Shove it into a mailbox decorated with things people disagree with, My pages bleeding ink few people can touch without being soaked, When they ask me what to file me under I don’t say “minority fiction” anymore I say file me under “road signs” At the intersections. File me under that caterpillar, In the wheat field, Next to hydrangeas on the dinner table A Sunflower in the spring The harvested Brown Rice, So when you make me into a meal I didn’t ask for, I can be at least eaten by the vegans.
0
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 1:44 AM UTC
To The Cute Girl At The Writing Workshop
The subtle cross between intersections, a life of blurriness, through crossed t’s and neatly dotted i’s I removed from the phrase Poetic Form, (trying to spell it without crossing myself back into it). From lesbianism to manhood, to cross what being a man means, I wonder if my own identity is written in pen and everyone wants it typed and edited, Yet I’ve taken the plastic keys off my computer board and made them into magnets last week, Setting myself up with stolen magnets stolen blocks, Putting them in order on my own fridge, Scrambling them back because there is no order, They only told you there was so that way you’d sing a song, But I know now that I can write words, there’s no need for a pre-prescribed song when I’ve written my own, In my own words. When I look back and have pages of songs nobody else asked for or decided to write, When I’m in class and I pocket my songs into stories and my stories under my low grades, Under my teachers’ requests for MLA format, I think of that caterpillar I played with in my room when I was six, And how i thought about how people only wrote about butterflies And how the caterpillars felt about that, So when I asked my mother to ask her friend, an author, If she’d write me into a novel, Would she ignore me because I was a caterpillar, Only choosing to open her mouth and write when my story became beautiful and socially acceptable, When it grew out from the pubescent disliking of itself and stained the sinks of society, Out of a hot *** of queer and quarantine, Till the broth of the fluidity of my own being was was down the rabbit hole Till all that was left was whitewashed spaghetti? If these songs were anything I could write down again and again, In pen, ignoring the requests to write neater, To type faster, If I put all my work into an envelope I already broke, Shove it into a mailbox decorated with things people disagree with, My pages bleeding ink few people can touch without being soaked, When they ask me what to file me under I don’t say “minority fiction” anymore I say file me under “road signs” At the intersections. File me under that caterpillar, In the wheat field, Next to hydrangeas on the dinner table A Sunflower in the spring The harvested Brown Rice, So when you make me into a meal I didn’t ask for, I can be at least eaten by the vegans.
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42
The Satan residing in the cornea, Tries too hard to insist And the continuously contaminated Clockwork fails to resist. The ***** of the aces – Corrupt In a while it will erupt, And puke out disrupt ****** emotions outburst Of unbearable lust. The pubescent plaque Haemorrhages seeds of deeds Culminates all over – the wicked weeds. Seductive seas The mind browses ****** ***** the louses. Engulfed in the trap of crap Cornea turns Pornea.
0
Mar 4, 2010
Mar 4, 2010 at 12:11 PM UTC
Pornea
put the key in the ignition, the car into drive, and all your gross post-sex insecurities to the back of your mind. forget you don’t have a license. forget she’s asleep in the bed that knows your panic attacks like they’re a late-night tv special and roll out onto the road - don’t hit the neighbor’s buick - drive. drive. take the route you used to sneak over to your boyfriend’s house in 7th grade. feel the ghosts of his hungry pubescent hands under your bra, get that old lump in your throat, wish you could go back in time and scream that you weren’t ready and that you’d never be ready and that one day you’ll be seventeen driving down his street hating the way he used to own you. remember that his street is also your street. remember that you’re worth owning things too. pass by the house your best friend used to live in, back when summers meant hot cheetos and horchata instead of cigarettes and cheap sangria. pray that one day you’ll be that way again, happy and fearless and okay with being alone. scold yourself for praying. forget where you’re going until your stomach growls and the road gets narrow. then keep driving.
0
Jan 18, 2014
Jan 18, 2014 at 12:48 PM UTC
how to drive in a straight line
Quick Ways of describing the moon with a poetic aptitude of felicity. The silver glow struck my eyes, flowing through my body, making me stand in awe underneath itself. The natural lighthouse guided my way through the haze, releasing my inner imagination. The white hue echoed through the clouds, lighting up the stagnant air. The whispy clouds covered the moon in a thin veil, concentrating their efforts on dismissing it's effort to shine. Quick ways of describing the sun The fiery ball of death awakened our planet with life, turning fire and flames into rivers and green grass. The light felt warm against my skin, as I laid there, feeling the warm sun, trying to fathom the vast distances that lied between it and us. The destroyer of worlds, the hellfire from above, the golden globe of hope and all things that are good, the ambiguous sphere of giving... The Sun The Sky would not be blue, nor the grass green, nor would the cacophony of cold harsh winds batter against your house, as you sat reverent of the warm sphere, watching it's pubescent sunrise and it's aging sunset, as you behold, the greatness of the sun. Quick Ways of describing the Universe The bright stars shined through the sky, escalating man's need to know, to explore, pushing him to release his inner genius and become great. The firmament sits there, a endless black chalkboard, smeared with nebulae and brushed with black holes, and glittered with stars. The Earth sat there alone, waiting for consolation, waiting for a spark, and then she opened her eyes, and all the Universe was bestowed upon her, burning beauty into her brain and soul.
0
Nov 19, 2011
Nov 19, 2011 at 1:17 PM UTC
Poetic Starters for Celestial Objects
Quick Ways of describing the moon with a poetic aptitude of felicity. The silver glow struck my eyes, flowing through my body, making me stand in awe underneath itself. The natural lighthouse guided my way through the haze, releasing my inner imagination. The white hue echoed through the clouds, lighting up the stagnant air. The whispy clouds covered the moon in a thin veil, concentrating their efforts on dismissing it's effort to shine. Quick ways of describing the sun The fiery ball of death awakened our planet with life, turning fire and flames into rivers and green grass. The light felt warm against my skin, as I laid there, feeling the warm sun, trying to fathom the vast distances that lied between it and us. The destroyer of worlds, the hellfire from above, the golden globe of hope and all things that are good, the ambiguous sphere of giving... The Sun The Sky would not be blue, nor the grass green, nor would the cacophony of cold harsh winds batter against your house, as you sat reverent of the warm sphere, watching it's pubescent sunrise and it's aging sunset, as you behold, the greatness of the sun. Quick Ways of describing the Universe The bright stars shined through the sky, escalating man's need to know, to explore, pushing him to release his inner genius and become great. The firmament sits there, a endless black chalkboard, smeared with nebulae and brushed with black holes, and glittered with stars. The Earth sat there alone, waiting for consolation, waiting for a spark, and then she opened her eyes, and all the Universe was bestowed upon her, burning beauty into her brain and soul.
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14
So familiar the sparks of inspiration about to bloom Horripilation and several empty soup cans tip me off My time has come to be prolific, under the wise tutelage of my angelic spektor Accompanied by the wailing hormones of pre-pubescent boys trying to sing into microphones Teacher please, spare a verb? Where the ivy used to crawl up fragile arms sanguine for all intents and purposes Dear teacher, nothing electronic works in my room anymore Dear teacher, your students are all ****** Dear teacher, I retain your lessons as lacerations upside my skull Sweet teacher, reposing just across the hall and sideways a spell In a coffin of criticisms and carbon monoxide fumes The love of a generation, a single blue rose, and a jar full of tea 30 years old.
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Apr 27, 2013
Apr 27, 2013 at 7:34 PM UTC
Awaken, Ariel