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Elm
for Ruth Fainlight

I know the bottom, she says. I know it with my great tap root;
It is what you fear.
I do not fear it: I have been there.

Is it the sea you hear in me,
Its dissatisfactions?
Or the voice of nothing, that was you madness?

Love is a shadow.
How you lie and cry after it.
Listen: these are its hooves: it has gone off, like a horse.

All night I shall gallup thus, impetuously,
Till your head is a stone, your pillow a little turf,
Echoing, echoing.

Or shall I bring you the sound of poisons?
This is rain now, the big hush.
And this is the fruit of it: tin white, like arsenic.

I have suffered the atrocity of sunsets.
Scorched to the root
My red filaments burn and stand,a hand of wires.

Now I break up in pieces that fly about like clubs.
A wind of such violence
Will tolerate no bystanding: I must shriek.

The moon, also, is merciless: she would drag me
Cruelly, being barren.
Her radiance scathes me. Or perhaps I have caught her.

I let her go. I let her go
Diminished and flat, as after radical surgery.
How your bad dreams possess and endow me.

I am inhabited by a cry.
Nightly it ***** out
Looking, with its hooks, for something to love.

I am terrified by this dark thing
That sleeps in me;
All day I feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity.

Clouds pass and disperse.
Are those the faces of love, those pale irretrievables?
Is it for such I agitate my heart?

I am incapable of more knowledge.
What is this, this face
So murderous in its strangle of branches? ----

Its snaky acids kiss.
It petrifies the will. These are the isolate, slow faults
That ****, that ****, that ****.
Q Sep 2014
We're still their,
in that world
we ****** each other into

That beautiful realm
where reality meets fantasy
and grass is luscious and warm

Where no matter the night,
the moon shines bright
and glows in radiating symphonies

And when the morning rolls in
we sink deeper in
finding wonders and pleasures, how?

Looking in those deep eyes
intensity petrifies my spine
I roll back my own in moaning sighs

You move
I move
Synced

Even this vast distance
is a meek, weak exposure
a classified holder

*******
this life,
no words to describe it
just feels

*s.q.
"Grr
Wish you knew of these nights
5 am. Cold sweats. Goodnight."





.
Priyanshi Dass Jul 2014
I wasn’t born to write
With every bent petal,
and every fallen leaf,
my ma’s sweet kisses
And papa’s gentle smile
I learned to write

A five year old me was once fascinated
by the loop of an ‘e’
and the playful swing of an ‘m’,
The wide smile of a ‘d’ delighted me
Words were powerful and mesmerising,
now they lie discarded and ignored
in broken stanzas of self proclaimed irrelevance

I watch the black ugly marks
That taints countless sheets of paper
They surround me in a sea of ink
That once flowed carefully and slowly
A thousand thoughts with each single word
Drained lies my mind, my breath’s not a whisper but a plea
My heart pumps blood not ink, I’m not a poet, it says
Incoherent scribblings mock me with their existence

As a child, confined spaces scared me
But now, a confined mind petrifies me with just a glimpse
A pen stays gripped in my hand
I wonder what it fears more
My inability to let the ink flow coherently
Or my arrogant ramblings, regardless
And fearless of consequences
While I stumble on disjointed verses

A paper aeroplane is my best accomplishment
In my two hour search for freedom and thought
Who cares for pretty words and mystifying couplets?
When the idea of a paper boat seems much more exciting

-പ്രിയാന്ഷി ദാസ്‌
Written on 19 June 2014
Is it bad to want to be dependent?
I don't want to be able to stand on my own.
Is it wrong to be socially ignorant?
I would really just rather be alone.

Would I?
No, that can't be.
I want to be alone with you.
And you with me.

To be completely alone,
Scares me.
To be cared for too much,
Petrifies me.

I want to be alone,
Yet scared to be so.
I want to be liked,
Never loved.

I never think I'm good enough,
Yet I am better than her.

What a contradiction,
I must be.
Andrew Parker Dec 2013
azure sestina
July 16, 2013

Brought to face ourselves finally,
what choices do we have in capturing the moment?
If I were given this chance
it would be most important to know for sure.
Look life in its eyes,
and see their sad shade of deep, blue, azure.

No matter how black my heart taints, or how bloodied my lips are stained, all that matters is azure.
I'm up against a stare that petrifies me, until I beg for freedom finally.
But I am powerless to escape those eyes.
I begin to enter your forever after ending never, in just one moment,
and I feel as though I can't say goodbye until I die, so I can be sure.
Sure that there really would be no second chance.

I first told you, "Take a chance,"
but we started with an ending, engulfed in azure.
My heart stretched further apart, as yours stayed unsure.
It broke finally.
Vanished in a month's mournful moment,
by the blink of those refusing to cry eyes.

I had to see things through your eyes.
So I could know that I should have left this all to chance.
You can blame me in the end, for ruining the moment.
As I rope back in my emotional tide, from the dark depths of azure.
I'll dock that torn up boat at your door, and conclude the voyage finally.
You wanted space, so you've got it, sure.
I poem was never completed - I actually couldn't complete it.
But I felt it was fine the way it was.

1. ABCDEF
2. FAEBDC
3. CFDABE
4. ECBFAD
5. DEACFB
6. BDFECA
7. (envoi) ECA or ACE

A. finally
B. moment
C. chance
D. sure
E. eyes
F. azure
Tyler Cobain Jun 2014
I covet the hideous cult of fame. Spending my days in despondent cafés manically scribbling passionate love letters to recognition.

I'm not in love I'm insane.

Suffering from self-diagnosed misunderstood artist syndrome. My heart cries silent. I am a shadow in the distance. Warped, distorted and dark I scream alone; never to be touched.

I am a poser, a fame ****** and a hero worshiper. My vitriol view on the world hinders me. Constantly on the verge of crying in public. Staring at train tracks, they invite me away. Looking more comfortable then a bed.

I try to live in the now but the future petrifies me. I can't escape my own mind.

Y culture, My culture, Counter culture, **** culture, Love culture, Hate culture, Phonies.

I can’t see past the haze of disappointment I have designed myself. I smoke **** because it relaxes me, makes me feel like what I assume normality feels like. I drink because it makes me feel like how I assume those happy people feel. I take heroine because it makes me feel euphoric and takes me close enough to death that I want to live another day.

A brutal fear beats my anaemic mind. A peculiar fear grips my inner-self and I can’t bear to open my eyes and see that I had survived the night. I become saddened by the thought that I might also survive the day, living to see what I will be tomorrow.

Happy in the madness. Longing for that sick feeling. In love with the sadness. Searching in the dark recesses of the mind for inspiration. I can’t see past my fate, it’s too dark. I sit and source inspiration through the emotions and physical fits of *******. Self-abuse. Clawing for red gold in the catacombs that meander through my pale arms.

Beat myself out of sight beat me out of sight beat me beat me till I float. Beat me beat me till I float.

I am a poser, a fame ****** and a hero worshiper. My vitriol view on the world hinders me. Constantly on the verge of crying in public. Staring at train tracks, they invite me away. Looking more comfortable than a bed.

Relapse is fine by me. I want this. I want this. I want this. I want this. Not a tortured artist just tortured. Not a tortured soul just a cracked shell. In the name of art but in the corner of sickness.

Beat myself out of sight beat me out of sight beat me beat me till I float. Beat me beat me till I float.
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2018
i really don't know how this is a connected,
but somehow it is,
you drink a few ms. ambers and
your mind just turns into an armchair,
you can unwind,
send the serpent of a tongue
into the garden and watch the show...

the original thought begins with an old
pet peeve...
   the argument...
   what was it?
  ah!
          why so much evil in the world,
and so little if any divine intervention...
can you imagine the sort of
hellish world that would be,
this, zoo?
                     why i believe in free will?
well... i don't believe in
divine intervention...
   however horrid, divine intervention
is "missing", i guess,
simply because we're supposed to
live out all our potential...
however that might be...
             the heavenly has to dance
with the macabre,
   the man with the woman,
      
an atypical argument by the sophists...
why doesn't god intervene
when bad things happen to good people?
do you want to look at
the zenith of being given freedom
to do either evil, or good...
and not be judged in the act of doing
so? you don't want this freedom,
because some magical entity doesn't
intervene?
   then you'd have a case for the non-existence
of free will...

****... did i really elevate myself
to such theological claims? guess so...
catholic education,
   i wasn't going to completely free from
the religious debate...
but that's beside the point...

the first Bukowski book i read,
i bought in Glasgow on one my psychotic
outings...
what matters most is how well
you walk through the fire
...
i bought it because of but one poem...
it begins
   sometimes there's a crazy one in the street.
he lifts his feet carefully as he walks.
he ponder the mystery
of his own ****.

- and ends with
when you see a crazy one walking
in the street
honor him but
leave him alone.
    there's no luck like that luck
nothing so perfect in the world
let him walk untouched
remember that Christ was also insane
..
while in between?
the line...
  the sane are too numerous...

but this ties in to another poem
(that one was called insanity)...
i sometimes think:
and my, my my,
what a fine way to exfoliate
the emphasis of punctuation,
but breaking lines so much...
point being, there's an upper tier
of punctuation,
primarily associated with the philosophy
genre...
and no... don't even try to read
philosophy book like you might
read a piece of journalism
from a newspaper...
  3 years to complete Kant's
critique of pure reason...
believe me, you can have your fictive
novel breezing through moment
when Kant writes out
  a schematic for transcendental
methodology
... that bit is easy...
but you can't exactly read Kant
in 3 weeks, and subsequently spew
the content, or rather, plagiarize
it, hiding behind schematics,
and the obvious a priori / a posteriori
categorizations...
well... unless you're a college
philosophy professor,
and much akin to a news anchor ditto-head...
then yeah... plagiarism is the way
to go...

you know what elevated punctuation
looks like?
   you read a snippet of a philosophy
book, you'd be lucky to read a chapter
in a day...
   thinking... thinking is the over-arching
punctuation from your casual punctuation
already imbedded in the script...
thinking does the punctuation
when reading this genre of books...

but it dawned on me...
aphorism XXXII, pondering(s) VIII...
just one sentence...
  (i favor Heidegger?
because he favored poets)...
             poetißing and thinking enter
into an essentially transformed,
incalculable relation.
     when & how both become manifest
as da-sein with self-altering beings,
without publicly existing and "operating"
.

this immediately brought be back
to a Bukowski poem,
    the last poetry reading...
****... that's not it...
it's not even captain goodwine...
whatever the poem is...
it reads something akin to:

   you're an entertainer now...

that's what i steer away from,
  indicating that these words require
a stage presence,
an oratory valor...
   a performance,
     no public performance,
no freedom of speech *******...
    no speaker's corner manifesto...

            i already signed up to the ontological
motto of...
   cogitans qua esse per se...
thinking as being, being in itself...
the fact that i might leave my mind
and instead morph it into a waggling
tongue on a stage...
the fact that these words could
make public office,
and even be deemed as, "operational"...
not so much petrifies me...
but...
               disgruntles me...
   disincentivizes me...

  after all... i've noticed this...
once you start performing?
your repertoire suffers...
                   like all artists...
the moment you become confident with
your poetry via its public
reception,
   your creativity, your virility,
your fertility succumbing to new ideas,
drastically diminishes,
i've watch countless poetry
performers...
"poets"...
     with a repertoire of... 10 poems?
maybe even less...
   they start performing,
they stop exploring...
   when poetry is bound to the high
court of silence,
yet becomes visible phonetic encoding,
like... like I.T.,
signs, symbols emerge,
but there is no sound to be heard...
when no one is being entertained,
it expands...
        come to think of it...
Heidegger is quiet right...
     poetry has more to do with
philosophy than it has to do with
rhetoric, oration, sophistry,
   or Sophocles... to specify...
            poetry is about "speaking"
the truth...
   but who the hell, in public...
will speak themselves,
  speak the truth?
              let us leave that to the actors...
who... imagine themselves speaking
a truth, but certainly, not their truth,
the truth...

i want to be as close
to cogitans qua, esse as much as possible:
or rather...
cogitans qua loquitur,
   ergo loquitur qua cogitans,
qua, esse, qua est omni illud
;
   (thinking as being talking,
therefore talking as being thinking,
as being, being, as being all that is).

p.s. well, yeah,
poet-thinker or poet-entertainer...
i don't need a freedom
to speak, i need a free to think,
and when i equate
thinking as speaking,
but i write,
rather than speak...
      see the comments sections
for more details...
if you "think" that this is
"talking".
Kelsey Wolff Jan 2013
And so are my eyes
The ash is white, the fire black
Flames offer a silent scream
Hurricane winds radiate light
And a dust of powdered sugar petrifies the desert
Quickly, and mysteriously
Not much to do but a lot to learn
The turkey flies on scattered wings
No offense made but
Much is taken
Phantom letters state their presence
Poplar burns in the sun
Prickly pears sparkle red
      and
The moon lets go of her compass, passing
it on to another
Flying above all
Shooting bullets toward purple blue skies
Notebook in one, pen in another
Falling through steam
Crashing to dry, cracked earth
Saguaro stands in a forever wave
Blackened mountains singe the backdrop
Red purple brown rocks form deepest
Canyons of collective consciousness
                                    Feed a bright blood river below.
willow of crystal, a poplar of water,
a pillar of fountain by the wind drawn over,
tree that is firmly rooted and that dances,
turning course of a river that goes curving,
advances and retreats, goes roundabout,
arriving forever:
                     the calm course of a star
or the spring, appearing without urgency,
water behind a stillness of closed eyelids
flowing all night and pouring out prophecies,
a single presence in the procession of waves
wave over wave until all is overlapped,
in a green sovereignty without decline
a bright hallucination of many wings
when they all open at the height of the sky,

course of a journey among the densities
of the days of the future and the fateful
brilliance of misery shining like a bird
that petrifies the forest with its singing
and the annunciations of happiness
among the branches which go disappearing,
hours of light even now pecked away by the birds,
omens which even now fly out of my hand,

an actual presence like a burst of singing,
like the song of the wind in a burning building,
a long look holding the whole world suspended,
the world with all its seas and all its mountains,
body of light as it is filtered through agate,
the thighs of light, the belly of light, the bays,
the solar rock and the cloud-colored body,
color of day that goes racing and leaping,
the hour glitters and assumes its body,
now the world stands, visible through your body,
and is transparent through your transparency,

I go a journey in galleries of sound,
I flow among the resonant presences
going, a blind man passing transparencies,
one mirror cancels me, I rise from another,
forest whose trees are the pillars of magic,
under the arches of light I go among
the corridors of a dissolving autumn,

I go among your body as among the world,
your belly the sunlit center of the city,
your ******* two churches where are celebrated
the great parallel mysteries of the blood,
the looks of my eyes cover you like ivy,
you are a city by the sea assaulted,
you are a rampart by the light divided
into two halves, distinct, color of peaches,
and you are saltiness, you are rocks and birds
beneath the edict of concentrated noon

and dressed in the coloring of my desires
you go as naked as my thoughts go naked,
I go among your eyes as I swim water,
the tigers come to these eyes to drink their dreams,
the hummingbird is burning among these flames,
I go upon your forehead as on the moon,
like cloud I go among your imagining
journey your belly as I journey your dream,

your ***** are harvest, a field of waves and singing,
your ***** are crystal and your ***** are water,
your lips, your hair, the looks you give me, they
all night shower down like rain, and all day long
you open up my breast with your fingers of water,
you close my eyelids with your mouth of water,
raining upon my bones, and in my breast
the roots of water drive deep a liquid tree,

I travel through your waist as through a river,
I voyage your body as through a grove going,
as by a footpath going up a mountain
and suddenly coming upon a steep ravine
I go the straitened way of your keen thoughts
break through to daylight upon your white forehead
and there my spirit flings itself down, is shattered
now I collect my fragments one by one
and go on, bodiless, searching, in the dark....

you take on the likeness of a tree, a cloud,
you are all birds and now you are a star,
now you resemble the sharp edge of a sword
and now the executioner's bowl of blood,
the encroaching ivy that over grows and then
roots out the soul and divides it from itself,

writing of fire on the slab of jade,
the cleft in the rock, serpent-goddess and queen,
pillar of cloud, and fountain struck from the stone,
the nest of eagles, the circle of the moon,
the seed of anise, mortal and smallest thorn
that has the power to give immortal pain,
shepherd of valleys underneath the sea
and guardian of the valley of the dead,
liana that hangs at the pitch of vertigo,
climber and bindweed and the venomous plant,
flower of resurrection and grape of life,
lady of the flute and of the lightning-flash,
terrace of jasmine, and salt rubbed in the wound,
a branch of roses for the man shot down,
snowstorm in August, moon of the harrowing,
the writing of the sea cut in basalt,
the writing of the wind upon the desert,
testament of the sun, pomegranate, wheat-ear....

                         life and death
are reconciled in thee, lady of midnight,
tower of clarity, empress of daybreak,
moon ******, mother of all mother liquids,
body and flesh of the world, the house of death,
I have been endlessly falling since my birth,
I fall in my own self, never touch my depth,
gather me in your eyes, at last bring together
my scattered dust, make peace among my ashes,
bind the dismemberment of my bones, and breathe
upon my being, bring me to earth in your earth,
your silence of peace to the intellectual act
against itself aroused;
                         open now your hand
lady of the seeds of life, seeds that are days,
day is an immortality, it rises, it grows,
is done with being born and never is done,
every day is a birth, and every daybreak
another birthplace and I am the break of day,
we all dawn on the day, the sun dawns and
daybreak is the face of the sun....

gate of our being, awaken me, bring dawn,
grant that I see the face of the living day,
grant that I see the face of this live night,
everything speaks now, everything is transformed,
O arch of blood, bridge of our pulse beating,
carry me through to the far side of this night....

gateway of being: open your being, awaken,
learn then to be, begin to carve your face,
develop your elements, and keep your vision
keen to look at my face, as I at yours,
keen to look full at life right through to death,
faces of sea, of bread, of rock, of fountain,
the spring of origin which will dissolve our faces
in the nameless face, existence without face
the inexpressible presence of presences...

I want to go on, to go beyond; I cannot;
the moment scatters itself in many things,
I have slept the dreams of the stone that never dreams
and deep among the dreams of years like stones
have heard the singing of my imprisoned blood,
with a premonition of light the sea sang,
and one by one the barriers give way,
all of the gates have fallen to decay,
the sun has forced an entrance through my forehead,
has opened my eyelids at last that were kept closed,
unfastened my being of its swaddling clothes,
has rooted me out of my self, and separated
me from my animal sleep centuries of stone
and the magic of reflections resurrects
willow of crystal, a poplar of water,
a pillar of fountain by the wind drawn over,
tree that is firmly rooted and that dances,
turning course of a river that goes curving,
advances and retreats, goes roundabout,
arriving forever:

*Mexico 1957
http://www.nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1990/paz-bio.html
Out of deep sorrow for the loss of my muse
The machine stops to recapture its stasis
Stolen by the unrequited idea of this mirage,
The scarlet tic toc craves pristine amuse

The pump of the sweet amorous concoction
Tastes **** to the disused forlorn tongue
Maybe the machine leeks this viscous fluid
To purchase desire at the body’s auction

This nature’s request for the suitable mate
While the soul of the failure still remains,
Cranks the contraption most vital gears
As a mismatched tic toc at hearts gate

The betrayal of knowing the truth and never
Ever leaving the past wholly shatters me
The Sunlover wants to bloom when the light
Shines darker than the doubt of forever

That is the heart’s betrayal

Viewing the sunrise through my wasted eyes
unfold as the tears of my broken dreams,
I remember the beauty of my dear beloved
The ultimate ambush to my lonely skies

The hangover of rejection lingers for eternity.
The addictive touch of tenderness I want
While the robot engines cannot cope with it,
The tired heart goes for failed shot infinity

What is this web which I was woven into?
Falling for eight, then nine, bonus ten
Tic toc the clock; pump, pumped the blood
Wild need, whispers required to ensue

And whilst I dig the grave where I shall lend
Haunting me is the ever burning question
Will ever the craving for love be truly done?
Hope is said to never falter, to never end

That is the heart’s betrayal

The never ending brush of desire swirls
A portrait of novel passion; her soft
Features, angelic voice, immaculate lips
And this issue prevails with all the girls

In the mind’s museum, they become a bust
Of hard intangible romantic interests
And as a collection vice, the gallery will not
Stop letting in more miscellany of lust

Appreciating the astral beauty, bemusing  
In the details, worshipping personality,
Requiring such unity to expel the loneliness
This hearts motives forever bruising

The interest in a woman thus take shape
To form the most ethereal phantom
A ghost that results in dreams of icy mist
A myth of warmth, fleeting escape

That is the heart’s betrayal

Once betrothed to be my suitable mate,
Wishes my dream fairy granted me
Far and wide we would venture, brave souls
Only in my fantasy, this surreal bate

Thus, the later ultimatum comes unexpected
When company the moment yearns
This muse’s portrait matures into sorrow
We were genuinely never connected

The cold from this epiphany ardently churns
The blood that petrifies the machine
“She is not the right one,” an echo of misery
Even if elusive, she hurts me; it burns

Passion may come and go, a scar of flare
A tempest of feelings of the unruly kind
The spark is a mystery to solve, misguided
The hurt of a hollow kinship and despair

One day the soul its mate will find, the heart
Will have a home to call in the light
But now the frozen pump in darkness lingers
Waiting the mistake of love to depart

It all goes back to the beginning

And that is the heart’s betrayal
The last poem of my original anthology had to be its namesake. My nature was to love, get rejected, love, lose that person, love again, be rejected, and on and on in an uncontrollable and destructive cycle. It had to stop, so I had to finally understand what was happening to me and translate those impetuses into words. To do so was to acknowledge all the pain and distress of loss and rejection, and for a long time, I just could not do it. Poetry helped me open up and learn about myself. So, this was actually one of the first poems I ever wrote. The sense of cyclicity that flows through and ends the poem makes rereading the whole collection a new experience. All the pieces inside of it have something to do with how the heart, in all its emotional saliences, controls people's every thought, even when we think we are in control. We can love, hate, fear, yearn, and at the same time, not want it to happen. Nonetheless, the heart will betrayal our countenance, our adamancy, our will to resist within different degrees. So, to feature all these ideas sprinkled throughout the anthology into one poem was the best way to end it.
mûre May 2012
9 am I woke with a broken heart
it had been shattered, unbidden
in the place after empty and before disappearing
-That-

To jump in a lake fully clothed and
realizing that you're too weighed down
to surface...

it hurts in my tummy
it hurts in my chest
it hurts in my throat

I am afraid.
The past is a broken red balloon
dragging on the ground behind me.
Every glance backward sends me reeling
sick and dizzy to my knees.

the breathless sorrow petrifies.

There are ghosts in my skull
(I know them by name)
Perhaps, that's the trouble-
I know how to call my haunting.

How many years of happy will it take
to even the cost?
I cannot do this anymore,
but it seems both my destiny and my doom,

I'm suspicious I've already lost.
Daniel Ospina Nov 2015
Have you seen the old hag in rags
Mumbling nonsense in the town square?
Her odor so pungent, even flies gag,
A Medusa who petrifies with her stare.

Her name unknown, her story a secret,
The butcher claims she’s God incognito
Here to see if we aid those who need it,
Though doubtful, such torture He’d veto.

Gossip circulates the town at every corner,
But I know the truth of this old woman.
It turns out she’s the Duchess of Arbor
Who gave it all away to the poorest children.

The fools are quick to judgement impart,
But there’s an occulted truth in every heart.
Anna Jan 2014
Its only 12:42 and I've woken myself up five times by asking where i am
Every place that should feel like home petrifies me
You say I'm spoiled and you don't think i give a ****,
But it's not that I'm ungrateful,
It's just that I'm dead
I try to say thank you, but my voice is too small
My throat becomes a vortex,
Stealing the words my lips long to spit out
Leaving my mouth an empty drought

Sitting still in hopes the cinder block will migrate to the rest of my body,
Wishing i would turn to stone
I feel so fragile every time you speak,
As if my bones and destined to one day turn to glass
And why am i awake if sleep is for the weak?

My heart is an earthquake, my whole body's shaking furiously
Ripping my insides apart laboriously
I try so hard to find my brain and put it back in place
Mayah Seals Jul 2015
Twelve years of difference
I still can't stay away
I've been swept up in your voice
And pulled into your games

The thought of loving you petrifies me
But the thought of forgetting you stabs  
It seems I'm stuck; not a soul at my side
Doomed to wander, heartbroken, through the lands

Here I stand in the darkness
As my heart swells at the mention of your name
Our story is as great as Daniel and Lucinda
Yet, I bet we could put them to shame

So, as the days are rolling by so slowly
And I just wish to call you mine
I'll sing the song of a hopeless romantic
Trapped in the wrong time
Copyright ©
Deisphorios Jan 2016
The dark terrifies me,
The quiet engulfs me,

Fictional phantoms fade into my vision as their hands claw through the gloom like a fog in the night.
I never know what shape they'll shift into, like a new opponent that I know I can’t fight.

Could it be a black figure with nothing on its face but a mouth,  eyes in the back of its throat,
hiding in my closet?
A creature with a twisted face contorted in agony,
waiting just outside my door?
Perhaps a four armed creature with 6 eyes, no nose, and a wicked grin,
to come crawling along my walls?
A young girl in white, presumed to be innocent, but only the presence of an insane smile upon her lips,
groaning from the corners of my room?
Or maybe, simply a ghost with no form, just a pair of wide eyes,*
watching me from my window?

It's on quiet nights like these,
(which are more common than you might think),
that I can hear every whisper the house makes,
every groan of the trees as they wave in the wind.
It’s on nights like these...
that I can feel my heart pumping and my blood rushing and I suddenly remember something that is deathly important.

That I'm alive…

Which reminds me that I'm afraid.
Almost like being alive is nothing but a dream, a terrible one that I've been waiting to wake up from.
But sadly, I cannot.
It’s on nights like these that I am reminded...
That the thought of living haunts me,
That the thought of growing up petrifies me,
I can't see my future self doing anything special,
Mostly for the fact that I can't imagine it.
I can't imagine myself doing anything.
I can't imagine myself living that long.

These thoughts burden me every time the sun goes down, a constant battle between the physical world and my mental hell.
c ashrah
Charles Sturies Apr 2017
A beast is me
At least I'm me.
Beauty petrifies
me,
saddens me greatly
except for beautiful women
and imagining them wanting me.
Hence beauty and a beast.
There's no feast
in store
for me
I bet
as I get set
to eat the meat
off my bones
just to hook that beautiful woman
I'm such a beast.
We shall see
what we shall see
about
"the beast"
as some black guys
who've been
in prison
say I'm called here.
I heard why I am the beast.
I'm oversexed
domineering,
licentious,
in people's scope.
I even break the heavy
and I'm ultra
unpopular
near as I can tell!
Charles Sturies
Hadrian Veska May 2016
The crows fly back
Into the ground
A chilling wind
Blows all around

A watching eye
Peaks through the trees
A crying voice
On bended knees

A colorless world
Devoid of reason
Without change
For there is no season

A burning pool
Of water and blood
Petrifies the ground
Sinks into the mud

My shadow lengthens
Stands up on its own
The silence deafens
I wish I weren't alone
Mona Feb 2017
The wind likes to make itself scarce,
To never touch the waves more than it needs,
And that's why it travels the world alone,
After it turns towns to ruins, it runs and claims itself freed.

And here we stay jumbled and rearranged,
Watching it as it takes more than it should,
Yet it never grasps the meaning of everything it's taken,
The days will roll as long as the map looks good.

It appears and disappears in mismatched mornings,
And we can never have enough time to be prepared,
For the coldness that petrifies, as it tries to make us believe
That this departure is only done for our sakes.

The wind only knows one perspective to wear,
And it gets washed and re-washed in the downpours we cry,
So it lays there like an after taste after it fades,
Its only ally is that its presence could easily be denied.

So in an ever present fall tumbling into a winter,
We never know when it will hit and what it will take,
So we lay on our backs and let it walk all over us,
We're done being hurt, our hearts shall be opaque.
Megan Sherman May 2017
The nature of her art is in her wits,
Sure, sharp, subtle and coy,
It soothes and raises beleaguered spirits,
Who doth her comic arsenal employ,
To batter down the barricades,
Of seriousness and solemnity,
Though raucous her jokes are ever made,
In the spirit of love and amity,
Stoicism petrifies the soul,
Makes it alone,
Converting passionate spirits,
In to sombre heart's of stone.
Reticence is good enough when feelings start to dip,
But humour is much better for stoking comradeship.
Everything I touch starts to melt more or less
I mainly roam around inside planet earth, what am I, can you guess?
Things around me I bring along in my flow
When you and me collide, life around us start to show

I'm a destroyer, but don't see it as a hurdle
I bring death so there can be life
Together we complete the circle

You cool me down and show me the way
Calms the toxic ashes and bouldering flames inside me for that day
My warmth makes you fly and spread your energy
Mixed together we shape sculptures of life and love, I hope last through infinity

Through time though, elements petrifies me randomly and it starts to show
I desperately seeking your shores before it's too late for me to know

I find your shore but it's a stormy weather
Sometimes I can still reach the ocean though
Before what I am freezes altogether

If I'm too cold, I should return to earth's core
Instead of just being in a stasis on your ocean shore

Trust in me, be sure that I bring the key to life
I can't help it, a sculpture takes form without you, hurry raise your tide

Inside screaming and crying in vain fighting to postpone the process
Trying to break the growing crust outside on me so I can let in my ocean goddess

I naively without your element try to join the ocean
But I'm solid now, drowning and choking in your tenderness and loving devotion

I hope I learn someday to master my creature
Even if it means to fight this nature
Violet Jun 2021
It was today when I realized. .  . I "actually" realized, how unpredictable life is. How you could leave behind your loved ones, incomplete dreams and life that someone dreams of, in the fist of life and step in the darkness of death.  
Death petrifies me. Because, while the people who dearly love you and the people who are expecting to be saved by you, suffer with unbearable pain of your loss, you will feel nothing; no sadness, no happiness, just numb. That just feels self-centered even if it is not one's fault.
Perhaps, death is not as dark as we say it is.
What if, death is tranquil. A place were you can't feel anything, but peaceful. Away from you happiness and worries, cradling in serenity...
When a person, who has so much left to live and achieve, faces death, it is not reasonable to me. It'll never be. Some people say that it's life, death happens. But Idk I can't cope with that. :)
There is no light, in my world,
The world deep inside,
Inside my soul like poison,
That haunts me day and night.

I cannot face the world,
When all I see is red,
I use my umbrella to stay alone,
Because I'm abandoned and afraid.

I'm trapped in this world of darkness,
The world full of pain,
No distinguisher to put out the flame,
That burns me up inside.

My furry strangles me helpless,
As I lie here to cry,
But it's been so long, I just can't,
They only pour-out on the inside.

Execute this pain that petrifies my soul,
Dull the suffering, so it seems less real,
I feel dizzy, alone and scared,
Dissolve this pain that sickens me.

It intimidates me, calling my name,
Luring me into its grasp,
The urge is to powerful,
But I must be strong.

I'm a weeping willow,
Without a single cry,
I can only cry on the inside,
Like Always.
mike dm Sep 2016
cut stone
lichen roam
over your
shut mouth

mineral lochs
run through
slowed vein

ex
tend

your hard hand

take my face
and wake the sleep
that petrifies me
sunk into this bed

ancient thing
ancestor to the mountain
what tales of brokenness
you must have

break them
over mine
widen this time
give me eyes farther
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
Light
                                                inside
    ­                                                 defies

                                       a love that denies


                                           Flight
                                               height
                                                     petrifies

                                       a promise that lies


                                            Bright
       ­                                         delight
                ­                                      collide

                  ­                     with heartache in sight


                                           Provide
                                                subside
 ­                                                        hide


                                       Another stolen night
Eriko Jun 2017
I see white, I see nothing
yet tugged behind the corners
where dust may began to collect,
I know that light and color
is brimming, waiting to race
onto another dimension
of timeless captivity,
I see white, like a thick haze
and it petrifies my bones, locking joints
into an empty embrace,
so now, trudging through the timeless echo
I know that the time will come
for the blankness to implode,
for the spirit to by spurred forth
like that of mourning widow
seeking revenge on the docks
of an alien shore
Arfah Afaqi Zia Sep 2017
As I leap forward to touch
I pull myself in danger and terror
like the forbidden tree
I enter into a forbidden trance

A place where only desire resides
where hands are restless and reach for love
where bodies arouse
I enter into a forbidden trance

A mixture of feelings and emotions
a wave of fear that sweeps off the smile from my face
i touch my finger tips to yours and caress you
I enter into a forbidden trance

The thought of loss petrifies me
your soul conquers me
it is you that I yearn for knowing the consequences
I enter into a forbidden trance.
Francie Lynch Mar 2020
In the North we had the cold war. Sirens screamed; we crouched under desks, thin arms covering thinner heads. We were post Pompeii petrifies waiting for a future dig. We never left an atomic shadow.
This  sums up all life-threatening fears of the Boomers, the Echoes, the A's through Z's. Of course, Boomers then were too young to worry.

We've never had planes or bombs fall from our skies (there was the Arrow disaster).
We've never had a crop blight, famine or drought.
Food has never been rationed.
Hurricanes, cyclones, typhoons or tornados don't happen here;
We get snowfalls we plow through till they melt.
We're non-tsunami. Flooding is seasonal, geographically isolated, and dealt with.
We've had no great fires or earthquakes like San Fran or London.
We've never been drafted, and only go to wars of our own choosing.
We have not been invaded or occupied;
P.E.I. has no extermination crematoriums.
We avoided Inquisitions, Salem witch hunts and Small Pox blankets.
We've had no Race Riots, but a few barricades have gone up and down.

Death comes to us as to all. Car accidents, dumb-*** accidents, and even ******. Though never expected, always anticipated. We grieve, some longer than others. It's not easy, but we manage the shock.

When the glaciers glide past the coast of Nova Scotia, on the way to New York, my generation (and probably yours) will have been replaced.

But now! We're asked to Social Distance and wash with soap and water. In Canada we have plenty of both. I'll occupy my three square feet of space for several weeks (knowing there are only 52 in a year). No complaints. No asinine TP runs. Just behaving myself, HUMANELY.
my generation: Anyone born after 1945 in The North, Canada.
Amanda Apr 2019
I want to get home so that I can sleep for 17 hours with my mouth hung open so wide you’d mistake it for a black vortex where planes and people and boats and Ameillia Earharts go mysteriously missing and it petrifies the **** out of you that these things exist on this planet if you think about it for too long your eyes beady and blending into the dark of your bedroom or I want to jump out of my window and die or run up and down the four flights of stairs in my ****** apartment complex until I feel the muscles and tendons and ****** pink strings in the meat of my thick thighs burn and come to life and the fat rupture and break apart beneath my skin, or maybe I can just run a regular marathon but that’s so ******* boring that I would rather gouge out hollows between my ribs with a spoon because why the **** would I want to run in a straight line, I want to run up and down and zig and zag and left and right and upside-down and on my head and with my legs ******* behind my back and at the speed of light like the energy-never-dies organism that I am, all that I am really comprised of, the bare bones of what this body is broken down into in actuality, except I swear to ******* God I better die one day
Megan Sherman Nov 2016
Reticence is good enough
When fortunes start to dip
But fierce feelings are much better
For stoking comradeship

Stoicism petrifies
The soul, makes it alone
Converting passionate spirits
In to sombre hearts of stone

I aspire to a sensibility
Free and unrestrained
For in stoicism’s shadow
My mind becomes quite pained

I'd rather have a poet's passion
For being touched by love
I hail thee in sweet serenade
That rings around, above
Paige Jul 2014
For months now,
I've heard your name
and I ran away,
because I can't face you.
It petrifies me.
I wish I could just ask
about you.
I just need to know how you are,
but there's nobody that knows,
and no way I could just ask you.

I need to let you know that I care,
but I am scared that you don't.

It's really messing me up.
Jayne E Jun 2019
Night binds me blue in blackened silk
elemental sleep stolen by deadest dark
needing rest, comfort, kindness's milk
sifted tears & sobs do leave their mark

still
cold
black
quiet
feels so solitary stark

no escape hatch though I crave release
as wants pull me unto vapoured arms
no succour here I will feel no peace
only bitter pills and swallowed harms

crested light brings harsher days
tattered remnants of coppered dreams
reminds me its the psyche that pays
as fragile silk tears joy at its seams

harsh
bright
bitter
light
of winters mourn

dawns bring the bitten blinded sighs
a glassed in cage for wing clipped birds
oblivion obscura in the masses eyes
ears deadened to my silence unheard

oceans full of childs supple soft bones
his hunters blade glistens the breaks
the wind whispers tortured moans
the sliced knife tip just takes and takes

endless
deep
black
water
the sea swallows me down

Its serene to the point of painful, pretty
this forest where sprites could be at play
no lighter folly for this game is too gritty
secret lair to lead his new lambs to slay

as these vignettes proxy via my dreams
projector unspools reels sickly unsweet
his breath putrefies unpeals my screams
his scent petrifies my heart shale & sleet

hurt
broken
hollow
husk
brittle
a once fierce heart lays flayed.

J.C. littlebird 07/06/2019.
Olivia Kent Jun 2014
Affected by time
Time flies as a temperamental child,
She’s chucking her toys out of her pram,
She’s a tempest in a glass casket,
Time zooms by.
A passing sparkling rocket.

Time grows and creates.
An education in the ways of life.
Time is the quay for the husband or wife,
An anchorage for quiet moments.
Spent together or alone.
Sadly,
The revolving of time is revolting at times,
The thought of ageing petrifies.
Time carried in her wings many friends and lovers.
Some current some lost.
Time herself is precious.
An ancient pearl, such wisdom.
Lessons learned.
No matter how many pleas we make.
For life and time to go slower,
It’s a natural progression.
Hanging out in a world of free expression,
Before into the light we fly.
©Livvi
One Pusumane Sep 2014
I look back and I witness the mess I created. No wonder words cannot justify the remorse that I carry on my shoulders; the pain that radiates from my “I like you too”.
Going down memory lane I remember the 1460 days in which I built high walls made of concrete, as I sat there and shot down every love story that the world had. I yearn for your touch yet at the same time the fear that comes with such a feeling overwhelms me.

I believe I am broken, shattered into a million pieces that cannot be made whole. Your efforts pain me because you are the ideal idea I dream of. I somewhat hope you could read my mind, I somehow hope that I could end up in your arms, where I could feel safe.

I do admit it; love was wrongly accused by my empty soul until your tenacity filled me with hope.  I hate the fact that I am this giant that may never become a miniature. I hate the fact that I hate me. I hate the fact that you could love a heartless monster like me. ****! I said the forbidden word, LOVE! Even my own subconscious glares at me with utter disappointment.

I hate the fact that I care, the fact that it hurts. But then again burying my emotions is what I am good at. I believe I am a master of my own destruction, I do not believe in flowers, romantic dinners and surprises but one thing I know is that I believe you, I believe in you. In my vague idea of “us” we do ride into the sunset. We get that happily ever after. The thought of you being my knight in shining amour petrifies me to the core. I am afraid that I will care too much, that I will love too much. Yes, I do believe in love because you gave me that.

You gave me the spirit to believe in something I hated to the ends of the earth. As I drown in a pool of my own condemnation, I keep looking up, I keep swimming, and I keep letting my soul sail because I hope that you may save me. Finally it then hits me; I sentence you and love 25 to life. If you keep your promise to never leave, I will keep my promise of giving you this warm heart of mine that is caged in concrete walls. If you promise to be there when it matters, when I succeed , when I fail, when I cry or worse when I shut down and try to push you away. If you promise to hold me till I feel like the walls are not closing in, I promise to unlock all these doors I have shut. I hope that you will hold my hand till I finalize my divorce with death. I hope that you can piece me together.

But then these are just thoughts I never voice, these are voices in my own head. Every love story has a happy ending and in this one, you are my happy ending because you set me free from my own prison and complete the person I was meant to be.
Emma Stebbing Feb 2015
As you struggle to sleep next to their naked silhouette
  with the moonlight hitting their skin perfectly
Believing that you could never be an asset in their life,
  only a misprint that does not belong
Will you watch over them as they sleep,
  replaying all the late night conversations you had
All the plans you made to see the world,
  to try new things together
While you lay there will you reminisce
   on all the nights you spent whispering
sweet nothings against them, making them moan your name
Your desire for them petrifies you
The yearning to touch them
Yet you rise and leave
You disappear into the dark world
No words spoken.

— The End —