Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Deisphorios Oct 2017
"cut side ways for attention!"

"cut straight for results!"

echoing in my head every time the topic is brought up
a chorus of the same words
over and over

"anyone that does it only wants attention!"

like a waterfall
the words spill from your mouth
always on repeat
as if a broken record

again and again
the words echo in my head
so i can never forget

i already know

you've said it enough
deleting soon
Deisphorios May 2017
When I first met him, our meeting was nothing extraordinary. It was nothing more than a mere exchange of words and a quick glance of the eye. We were a few years apart, which made me scared to talk to him. But yet, when I looked into his bright blue eyes for the first time, I felt like I saw something more within him.

At the time, I knew nothing but his name and I knew nothing about him as a person. Despite that, it was very easy to see the emotion trapped behind his blue eyes. It amazed me how expressive his eyes were, despite the fact that he was wearing a mask that hid is true self from other people. I don’t know if anyone ever noticed it before, because he really was amazing at hiding it. Even though I barely knew him, I could tell that he was hiding his real self.

Later that night, I was lucky enough to be able to look into his eyes again. It was the second and final time of that night, and this time I felt like I saw something different than before. I saw happiness. But, why would he be happy now when he obviously had a mask that hid his anxiety before? I wouldn’t realize it until later, but I believe that I saw my own happiness in him.

This raised many questions. Why could I see a glimpse of my happiness in a guy I had barely met? If there was a possibility of me being happy, I think I may have found it in him.

Two years ago, I had hope. I hoped that somehow, I could start talking to him and maybe become friends. And now, two years later, it seems that the stars have aligned.

Oh, and they’ve aligned alright. But not in my favor.

It was almost as if the space dust and particles in between the stars aligned just so I could see the shadow of his existence walking past me. But that same space dust covered my vision and left me blind, searching for the man that I had barely seen. It seems that my chances with him were made near impossible; he was put just barely out of my reach.

Everything was too perfect, too set in place.
I don’t think we were ever meant to officially meet.
If one tiny instance were to change, then perhaps there could be a chance.

But, I don’t think that whatever is out there - god or something - ever intended for us to be together. I saw my life in the reflection of his eyes, standing in front of me.
And in the next moment-

I never saw it again.
Some thoughts during a storm. Writing these story things really helps clear the mind wowie
Deisphorios May 2017
i guess i'm just a mess
and maybe i'm just lonely
and maybe im just bitter
but i know that my head is a storm
and my chest is just empty
Deisphorios May 2017
Waves softly splash onto the shore.
Stepping into the sand,
it's cold.
Clouds cover the sky, cast over the horizon,
the Sun unallowed to shine its shimmering rays.
The cool water is calm, gray, and clouded.

For fear of the freezing depths,
you stay at bay in the sand.
However, they seem seldom to fear.
They, oh so perfect in every way,
splash in the water as if it were a warm summer day.

They pull you in, promising the cold water isn't so bad.

Discontent at the claim, you cower away.
Your capris, rolled up to your knees,
are soaked.

With them, though,
maybe the cold water wasn't too bad.
Deciding to brave the brisk waves,
you step back in.

Letting the waves wash over your feet,
the breeze softly blows by,
and the sun begins to shine through the clouds.

Maybe the wintry water really wasn't so bad.
i had a dream... and you were in it.
Deisphorios May 2017
As the day lays to rest and dusk settles upon the sky, I lay motionless in bed. Shadows crawl over the walls and seep into the corners of the room. The open window lets the last of the natural light the sun has to offer filter into the room. As young birds sing their evening songs, the room gradually becomes a deep shade of blue. In the shadow of the day and in the limelight of night, my self-destructive thoughts from the day are slowly quelled.

The deep blue hues of the room allow new thoughts to resurface in my head. However, these thoughts were not so bad to think about. The dark atmosphere but calming demeanor of the space reminded me all too much of him.

Memories began to resurface of the first time I met him. A few years older than I, he was eighteen and I was fifteen. He was going off to college while I would be entering sophomore year. And god, I know. Trust me, I knew it wasn’t a good situation already.

He first caught my eye from afar. He was talking to my brother and I couldn’t even see all of his face. And I don’t know why, but he took my breath away. I remember that my first thought of him was that he was short. No more than two inches taller than me, and I thought it was the most adorable thing. I remember that my mood was rather dull on this particular day, but just seeing him had changed my attitude. To this day, two years later, I still don’t know what to call it. I don’t want to say that it was love at first sight, because that seems a little extreme.

But I walked closer to him, too scared to actually walk up and introduce myself. I remember tripping over my feet a little, which he apparently heard because he turned and looked straight into my eyes for a split second.

And god, oh my god. Just from looking into his sea foam eyes for that second, I could tell that he had a thousand stories to tell but had no one that was willing to listen. His bright blue eyes, even I could tell they were a little dull. I knew they could be brighter. He was a quiet soul, looking for something in his life that could hold more meaning. He was surrounded by family and friends, yet it looked like he had never felt more alone.

At the time, I could decipher the code of thought in his eyes. But yet, my overly nervous, fifteen-year-old self, was far too scared to ever talk to him. I came close, once, when he and my brother stood near me and my brother asked me something. I could have joined the conversation, but I didn’t. I answered my brother and walked away. And to this day, I will never regret a decision that I have made more than that one. I knew from the moment that I left that place that I made a big mistake. It felt like I had just lost something that I treasured deeply.

The thing was though, I only knew his name. I wouldn’t learn more about him until later, when I would realize that, wow, he is truly someone special. However, after I left that place, I put every thought I had about him into the back of my mind. I knew that it wouldn’t happen anyways.

For two years, he has been in the back of my mind and he has never left. It has been two years since I’ve seen or spoken to him. Yet, I’m still learning new things about him from my brother. And honestly, the happiest moments in my life right now are when I learn something new about him. Because that is enough. Learning anything about him makes me impossibly happy, and that's all I need right now.

It's all that I have of him, however. A few pieces of information about his life and what he likes. But, honestly, I'm still happy with just that.
lmaooooooooo its story time ya'll so grab a cup of coffee and read my dumb love story about my undying crush that I'll never speak to again hahaha

theres also a lot more stuff ill be doing in the future abt him sooooo
Deisphorios Mar 2017
i cant help but consider how easy it is to make mistakes

like taking a wrong turn on accident

or even getting a bad test grade

but the worst mistake to make, and probably the easiest

is falling in love with someone that you cannot fall in love with
Deisphorios Feb 2017
A galaxy of tears swell in her eyes
Shoulders shaking
Heart breaking

Lost in the sea of her mind
Unable to find the surface
She's drowning
this **** is old why not post
Next page