"I age an eternity a moment,an eternity that is fleeting in a moment and you imbue the impermanence with your seraphic presence."

I am sitting under this tree whose leaves sway in circles like my memories fading into myself;
yet alone a few memories resist this disintegration,resisting the frailty of the life.one of those memories whispers your voice and how you said "father,I have a wish",the tone sweeter than the voice of the ocean,when you are about to sleep and it's your bed-time story for me,you continue saying,"I want to live in the sky and be an angel who floats on the clouds,when I want to swing I would bend the rainbow into the oonjal and with every swing I hit the clouds so hard that it becomes so ecstatic and produces a roar.when I want to come to the earth,I come like a lightening which tickles the earth....."
I love how you sleep in the middle of the story and how your voice slowly disintegrates into the silence like how you didn't say "now I take this sound and whisper it in this ear and you are going to bury in your heart, this sound that emanated from me and buried in you could resonate with billion galaxies".

Do you remember this is the tree under which we used to play with the mud,you used to pour the water in the sand and cover the leg with the mud till the ankle and staunch it immobile for a certain period and when you suddenly remove the foot,it assumes the shape of your foot which looks like igloo.I love how you break the igloos that is when you try to fit your head in to its mouth in the obliviousness that it would break because your head is too big to fit in,I love how the specks of silt get struck in the strands of your hair.

Every subtle detail here becomes enormously exquisite and with every utterance I am drowned with the memories to a point of singular abstract thought.perhaps in the next life,I wish to born as your child because I want to spend my childhood in your lap,I have to live those moments when you lift me up and put me on your shoulders and pat my head till I sleep,that is the part of my life in which I have missed you and I will claim and live it....

I still remember reading your short story and the male character in the story says something like "there is no brightness without darkness and you are the darkness,perhaps when you die,the sun,the moon and the stars would miss their light shedding upon you,but I am the one who will be devoid of the darkness that which creates the very ambience for this life,that which creates this inimitable life..."I wonder what it means sometimes and what made you to think to write something like that,that which produces an inseperable thought..and I think I am too old now to contemplate on what it means......


The tree and I sit on this light-shed early morning ,I think every particle of light which is reflecting from me now shares my memory,so I suppose I spread this reminiscence all over this place,all that is seen and unseen shares our memories....it baffles me at the very thought that every experience we indulge in reflects on the very existence itself.... I take your voice wherever I go and live,it's like a plugin to my heart and you always whisper from within me,even now,It's 6:30 now and I hear you saying "close your eyes",I close my eyes and fade into the echoes of your voice.transcedence.

"She is like a lightening passing now through me like a tickle and so do I perceive every form of limitation as a transcendence..."

I.

A louse in a house
or a mouse on a blouse.
A bell that goes ****
or a gong that goes ****.
A gap on a map
or a cap on your lap.
A drink in the sink
or an ink that stinks.
A spleen on a screen
or a queen who is green.
A bow in the snow
or a crow that glows.

II.

A wash or a whip,
a lip or a lop,
a top or a tip,
a car or afar,
a bar or a war,
a door or a snore,
a bore or a nail,
a flail or a whale,
a run or a bun,
a sun or a moon,
a spoon or a bus,
a fuss or a sigh,
a cry or a cheer,
a fear or a smile,
a while or a pen,
a den or a cat,
a mat or a hat,
a bat or a glass,
a vase or a weight,
a mate or a fork,
a cork or a mop,
a cop or a stop.

III.

Apples and artichokes, ants and antelopes,
bees and beers, books and brains,
cucumbers and chimneys, ***** and coats,
dogs and drains, dots and dominoes,
ears and eejits, elephants and exams,
flies and flutes, files and friends,
grasses and guts, giants and gyms,
horrors and hiccups, horses and hills,
igloos and irons, irises and idiots,
jumpers and jackets, jodhpurs and jellies,
kings and kettles, kites and kittens,
lions and lamps, lemons and lunches,
mums and monsters, mosses and moths,
noses and notes, nightmares and needles,
oblongs and orang-utans, organs and oranges,
paintings and pennies, ponds and pants,
quiches and quizzes, questions and queues,
rainbows and rings, rascals and rabbits,
snakes and sprouts, sweets and salts,
trumpets and trains, tables and toasters,
umpires and ukuleles, umbrellas and uniforms,
violets and vests, violins and vials,
wheels and wings, windows and weeds,
xylems and x-rays, xylophones and xysters,
yachts and yoghurts, yards and yaks,
zigzags and zephyrs, ziggurats and zombies.

Antsy aardvarks all
accept ants accordingly
as an addiction

Bamboo bayonets
bought by barbaric, beastly
barons bite beatniks

Cloistered cobblers can
color candy-cane conches
concealing crooners

Daffodils doodle
daydreams down, debauchery
demons deafening

Every eon each
electric elephant eats
eleven elk eggs

For fun fantasies
file films filosophic'ly
filling filaments

Go get greens
Get grass grayer gal
goonie ghoul

Hello high hammock
how hooligans heave haddocks
heathenly hecklers

Igloos ixist in
icy islands interning
internationally

Jello jam jizzy
Jacks jostling jewels juney
jump jump joop jail

So pretty to see everything in white

Making all things look very bright

Everything was covered for as far as I could see

Nothing but eerie silence for a while I felt free

Everyone venturing out should wear their snowshoes

Their cars stranded on the road look like icy igloos

The weighted down evergreens have a glow

For they are beautifully blanketed with snow

Schools, roads and businesses are shut down

And no one is allowed out about in the town

Should get out and have some winter wonderland fun

Build a snow man and go sledding some

Make a snow fort or  snow angels and snow-cream

Better hurry up before it's plowed, for now, it’s not a dream

Copyright 2013

All Rights Reserved

My mother raised me under the belief that monotony was a worse state than death and she lived her life accordingly. She taught me to do the same. About five years ago, my mother died. Her death steered my course from any sort of seated, settled life and into a spiral of new experiences.
For months after she left, I skulked about each day feeling slumped and cynical and finding everything and everyone coated in the sickly metallic taste of loss. I noticed that without her I had allowed myself to settle into a routine of mourning. I pitied myself, knowing what she would have thought.  Life was already so different without her there and I couldn’t continue with life as if nothing had happened, so I jumped from my stagnancy in attempts to forget my mother’s name and to destroy the mundane just like she had taught me to. I had to learn how to live again, and I wanted to find something that would always be there if she wouldn’t. I had a purpose. I tried to start anew and drown myself in change by throwing all that I knew to the wind and leaving my life behind.

I was running away from the fact that she had died for a long time. When I first picked up and left, I befriended the ocean and for many months I soaked my sorrows in salt water and *****, hoping to forget. I repressed my thoughts. Mom’s Gone would paint the inside of my mind and I would cover it up with parties and Polynesian women.
I was the sand on the shores of Tahiti, living on the waves of my own freedom. A freedom I had borrowed from nature. A gift that had been given to me by my birth, by my mother. I tried to lose myself in those waves and they treated me with limited respect. More often than not, they kicked me up against their black walls of water. They were made of such immense freedom that many times made me scream and **** my pants in fear, but they shoved loads that fear into my arms and forced me to eventually overcome the burden.
As time slipped by unnoticed, I created routine around the unpredictability of the tides and the cycle of developing alcoholism. One night after a full day of making love to the Tahitian waters, my buddies and I celebrated the big waves by filling our aching bodies with a good bit of Bourbon. By morning time, a good bit of Bourbon had become a fog of drink after drink of not-so-good *****? Gin maybe? I awoke to the sight of the godly sunrise glinting off of the wet beach around me, pitying my trouser-less hungover self. With sand in every orifice, I took a swim to wash me of the night before. I floated on my back in silence while the birds taunted me. I felt the ocean fill every nook and cranny of my body, each pulse of my heartbeat sending ripples through it. My heart was the moon that pressed the waves of my freedom onward and it was sore for different waters. The ache for elsewhere was coming back, and the hole she left in my gut that was once filled with Tahiti was now almost gaping. It had been a beautiful ride in Tahiti but I had not found solace, only distraction. The currents were shifting towards something new.
She had always said that the mountains brought her a solace that she never felt in church. They were her place to pray and they were the gods that fulfilled her. She told me this under the sheets at bedtime as if it were her biggest secret. I had delusional hope that she might be somewhere, she might not be gone. I thought if I would find her anywhere it would be there, up in the clouds on the highest peaks.
The next day, I was on the plane back to the States where I would gather gear. The mountains had called and left a needy voicemail, so I told them I was on my way.

In Bozeman, the home I had run from when I left, every street and friend was a reminder of my childhood and of her. I was only there to trade out my dive mask for my goggles. I had sold most of my stuff and had no house, apartment, or any place of residence to return to except for a small public storage unit where I’d stashed the rest of my goods. Almost everything I owned was kept in a roomy 25 square foot space, the rest was in my duffel. I’d left my pick-up in the hands of my good man, Max, and he returned her to me *****, gleaming, and with the tank full. I took her down to the storage yard and opened my unit to see that everything remained untouched. Beautifully, gracefully, precariously piled just as it was when I left. I transitioned what I carried in my duffel from surf to snow. I made my trades: flip flops for boots, bare chest for base layers, board shorts for snow pants, and of course, board for skis. Ah, my skis… sweet and tender pieces of soulful engineering, how I missed them. They still suffered core-shots and scratches from last season. I embraced them like the old friends they were.
I loaded up the pick-up with all the necessities and hit the road before anyone could give me condolences for a loss I didn’t want to believe. I could not stray from my path to forget her or find her or figure out how to live again. I did not know exactly what I wanted but I could not let myself hear my mother’s name. She was not a constant; that was now true.  

My truck made it half way there and across the Canadian border before I had to set her free. She had been my stallion for some time, but her miles got the best of her. It was only another loss, another betrayal of constancy. I walked with everything on my back until I eventually thumbed my way to the edge of the wild forest beneath the mountains that I had dreamt of. They were looming ahead but I swore I caught a whiff of hope in their cool breeze.
With skis and skins strapped to my feet, I took off into the wilderness. My eyes were peeled looking for something more than myself, and I found some things. There were icy streams and a few fattened birds and hidden rocks and tracks from wolves and barks of their pups off in the distance. But what I found within all of these things was just the constant reminder of my own loneliness.
I spent the days pushing on towards some unknown relief from the pain. On good days there fresh snow to carry me and on most days storms came and pounded me further into my seclusion. The trees bowed heavy to me as I inched forward on my skis, my only loyal companions; I only hoped they would not betray me on this journey. I could not afford to lose any more, I was alone enough. My mother was no where to be found. The snow seemed to miss her too and sometimes I think it sympathized with me.
I spent the nights warmed with a whimpy fire lying on my back in wait hoping that from out of the darkness she would speak to me, give me some guidance or explanation on how I could live happily and wildly without her. Where was this solace she had spoken of? Where was she? She was not with me, yet everything told me about her. The sun sparkled with her laughter, the air was as crisp as her wit, the cold carried her scent. I could feel her embrace around me in her hand-me-downs that I wore. They were family heirlooms that had been passed to her through generations, and then to me. The lives that had been lived in these jackets and sweaters were lived on through me. Though the stories hidden in the seams of these Greats had long been forgotten, died off with their original masters, I could feel the warmth of their memories cradle me whenever I wore them. I cringed to think about what was lost from their lives that did not live on. I was the only one left of my family to tell the world of the things they had done. I was all that was left of my mother. She had left her mark on the world, that was clear. It was a mark that stained my existence.
These forested mountain hills held a tragic beauty that I wish I could have appreciated more, but I felt heavy with heartache. Nature was not always sweet to me. For days storms surged without end and I coughed up crystals, feeling the snowflake’s dendrites tickle at my throat. I had gotten a cold. Snot oozed from my nostrils, my eyes itched, my schnoz glowed pink, my voice was hoarse, and I wanted nothing but to go home to a home that no longer existed. But I chose to go it alone on this quest and I knew the dangers in the freedom of going solo. The winds were strong and the snow was sharp. New ice glazed once powdery fields and the storms of yesterday came again and there was nothing I could do except cower at the magnificence of Nature’s sword: a thing so grand and powerful that it has slayed armies of men with merely a windy slash. I was nature’s *****. I felt no promise in pressing on, but I did so only to keep the snow from burying me alive in my tent.
And I am so glad that I did, because when the great storm finally passed I looked up to see the sky so hopeful and blue bordering the mountains I knew to be the ones I was searching for. I recognized them from the bedtime stories. She had said that when she saw them for the first time that she felt a sudden understanding that all the many hundred miles she’d ever walked were supposed to take her here. She said that the mere sight of them gave her purpose. These were those mountains. I knew because the purpose I had lost sight of came bubbling back out of my aching heart, just as it had for her.

These peaks as barren as plucked pelicans and peacocks, but as beautiful as the feathers taken from them, were beacons in the night for those in search of a world of dreams in which to create a new reality. From them I heard laughter jiggle and echo, hefty and deep in the stomachs of the only people truly living it seemed. When I was scouring the vastness of this wilderness for a sign or a purpose, I followed the scent of their delicious living and I guess my nose led me well.
A glide and a hop further on my skis, there the trees parted and powder deepened and sun shone just a bit brighter. Behind the blinding glare of the snow, faces gleamed from tents and huts and igloos and hammocks. Shrieks of children swinging from branches tickled my ears, which had grown accustomed to the silence of winter. As I approached this camp, I saw they were not kids but grown men and women. It seemed I had stumbled down a rabbit hole while following the tracks of a white jackalope. I had found my world of dreams. I had found them. I had found a home.
I was escaping my lonely, wintery existence into a shared haven perfectly placed beneath the peaks that had plagued my dreams. A place where the only directions that existed were up and down the slopes and forwards to the future. Never Eat Soggy Waffles did not matter anymore. By the end of my time there, I had even forgotten my lefts and rights. The camp had been assembled with the leftovers of the modern world and looked like a puzzle with mismatched pieces from fifty different pictures. At first glance, it could have been a snow covered trash heap, but there was a sentimental glow on each broken appliance that told me otherwise. Everything had a use, though it was not usually what was intended. The homes of these families and friends were made of tarp or blankets or animal hides and had smelly socks or utensils or boots or bones hanging from their openings. There were homemade hot springs made of bathtubs placed above fires with water bubbling. Unplugged ovens buried in snow and ice kept the beer cooled. Trees doubled as diving boards for jumping into the deep pits of powder around them. The masterminds behind this camp were geniuses of invention and creation. Their most impressive creation was their lifestyle; it was one that had been deemed impossible by society. This place promised the solace I had been searching for.
A hefty mass of man and dogs galumphed its way through the snow. Rosy cheeks and big hands came to greet me. This was Angus. His face grew a beard that scratched the skies; it was a doppelganger to the mossy branches above us. But his smile shone through the hairs like the moon. There are people in this world whose presence alone is magic, an anomaly among existence. Angus was one of them. Not an ounce of his being made sense. The gut that hung from his broad-shouldered bodice was its own entity and it swung with rhythms unknown to any man; it was known only to the laughter that shook it. Gently perched atop this, was his shaggy white head that flew backwards and into the clouds each time he laughed, which was often. Angus fathered and fed the folks who’d found their way to this wintery oasis, none of which were of the ordinary. There was a lady with snakes tattooed to her temples, parents who’d birthed their babies here beneath the full moon, couples who went bankrupt and eloped to Canada, men and women who felt the itch just as me and my mother had. The itch for something beyond the mundane that left us unsatisfied with life out in the real world. All of them came out of their lives’ hardships with hilarious belligerence and wit, each with their own story to tell. The common thread sewn between all these dangerous minds was an undeniable lust for life.
The man who represented this lust more than any other was Wiley and wily he was. He’d seen near-death countless times and every time he saw the light at the end of the tunnel, he would run like a fool in the other direction. He lived on borrowed time. You could see that restlessness driving him in each step he took. Each step was a leap from the edges of what you thought possible. Wiley was a man of serious grit, skill, and intelligence and never did he let his mortality shake him from living like the animal he was. He’d surely forgotten where and whence he came from and, until finding his way here, had made homes out of any place that offered him beer and some good eatin’. Within moments of shaking hands, he and I created instant brotherhood.
The next few days turned into months and I eventually lost track of time all together. I could have stayed there forever and no day would have been the same. I played with these people in the mountains and pretended it was childhood again. We lived with the wind and the wildness the way my mother had once shown me how to live. I had forgotten how to live this way without her and I was learning it all over again. We awoke when we pleased and trekked about when weather permitted, and sometimes when it didn’t. Each day the sun rose ripe with opportunities for new lines to ski and new peaks to explore. The backcountry was ours and only ours to explore. We were its residents just like the moose and the wolves. My body grew stinky and hairy with joy and pushed limits. Hair that stank of musk and days of labor was washed only with painful whitewashes courtesy of Wiley. Generally after a nice run, we’d exchange them, shoving each other’s faces deep into the icy layers of snow, which would be followed with some hardy wrestling. By the end of each day, if we didn’t have blood coming out of at least two holes in our faces then it wasn’t a good day.
I never could wait to get my life’s adventures in and here I was having them, recalling the unsatisfied ache I had before I left. Life was lost to me before. I had forgotten how to live it after she had died. Modern monotony had taken control until my life became starved of genuine purity and all that was left then was mimicry. But the hair grown long on these men and smiles grown large on these woman showed no remembrance of such an earth I had come from. They had long ago cast themselves away from such a society to relish in all they knew to be right, all their guts told them to pursue: the truth that nature supplies. Still I worried I would not remember these people and these moments, knowing how they would be ****** into the abyss of loss and time like all the others. But we lived too loud and the sounds of my worries were often drowned in fun.
     We spent the nights beside the fire and listened to Wiley softly plucking strings, that was when I always liked to look at Yona. Her curls endlessly waterfalled down her chest and the fire made her hair shimmer gold in its glow. She was the spark among us, and if we weren’t careful she could light up the whole forest.  She was a drum, beating fast and strong. Never did she lose track of herself in the clashing rhythms of the world. She had ripped herself from the hands of the education system at a young age and had learned from the ways of the changing seasons f

Shroud, encompassing
The blanket over my head I am the twin of
The sleeping spring, hers is snow my sister
The one I actually like

The unending winter, blank white
Now I see why animals hibernate, in the winter there is
No color to paint your thoughts on The sky is spliced with the ground, blazing white unending no limit to ponder
No sky to ponder the limit of (lim as x approaches 2, calculus, my bane)
You tip-toe through pure white banks, your soul is ***** in comparison you are old ugly jiggly and soft in comparison
To sharp clear fractals, individuals sparkling even in the whitesky's frank stare whiteground whitesky white
I don't add up I don't add up I don't add up I don't add up

They say this is the longest winter ever recorded for Canada
People joke we're Canada we live in igloos anyways I can confirm
This is wrong; I have distinct memories of spider-holes in damp dead grass
Furious water rushing down rock blasted for a highway
Warm sun damp air damp grass rubber boots and most of all
Bluesky greenbrownground an imperfect world to wonder in
To not feel incomparable to
Mud as jiggly and soft as fat and muscle layered on bleach bones, bone marrow chunky porous redbrownred
No white to speak of, even my pale skin is pinkish dotted with islands of moles

When I wake up the blanket is a shroud over my head to block out the light and now I understand what I must do
Hibernate and forget like the bears I miss
Let the white light filter through colorful sheets I will feed off the blue light instead
Remember, it can't last forever somethings gotta give

Express sympathy for the car crashes and wait.
Patiently.

Your life is linear, but your mind is sporadic.
You could be anyone, anywhere.
Time stands still.
Suddenly you're seven.
Tugging on your mother's floral print dress and begging her for ice cream money.
Time speeds up.
Suddenly you're behind a register trying not to laugh at the bitter old man cursing you to the seventh layer of Hell for your purple hair and tattoos.
Time freezes.
Suddenly your ten and your mother is shaking you.
She wants to know, where is her son?
Where has her baby boy gone?
It's the middle of the night and she won't stop shaking you.
She stares out your window and mumbles something about drugs.
But you don't know what drugs are and it's three in the morning.
You're ten.
You blink twice and click your heels.
Suddenly you're sitting behind a desk,
And the school system is trying to tell you how to feel.
You don't buy into it, but you learned early on that fighting them will get you no where.
You play the game.
A snap of your fingers and once more you're seven,
And your mother is making you swear.
Not the "f" bomb or the "c" word.
No, she's making you say something much worse than that.
Swear you won't tell your father about the man she kissed on the park bench.
But you're only seven so the words flood out of your mouth.
Before you can even finish your story,
Your father smacks your jaw so hard that your head spins forward until you've turned fourteen.
Fourteen, and now you know exactly what drugs are
And why your brother does them so much.
Fourteen, and you hate your mother for making you lie,
And you hate your father for punishing the truth.
Fourteen, and the only way you can cope with all of the ******* that's written in the fine print of being a teenager is to annihilate your brain cells.
The memories swirl around and all you want to do is burn them down, but there's no more matches and the butane's run dry.
It's all happening in flashes.
Christmas cookies.
Late term papers.
Igloos.
Glass bottles smashed to pavement.
The day you got contacts.
Flip flops.
The icy chill of pumpkin guts on your skin.
Her overdose.
Hot tea.
New York.
London.
Maui.
LSD.
Alcohol.
Vicodin.
It all whizzes by, and you barely know who you are anymore.
Or where you've gone.
Or who you've disappointed.
And these people are still trying to tell you how to feel.
And then you're dead.
And all the memories add up, but it's not enough to fill your coffin.
There's all this space floating around.
All of those lives you could have lived if you just stopped for a moment.
Stopped letting them tell you how to feel.

Such a waste.

Here I say hello to the
Fragments of fortified compounds
Which yield old holy love
Without thought or need of itself
I take hold of the wind
With grasping bow and a smile
A tune in my back pocket
And a swirl of cupcake that is sweat like gold
When alone I swerve in the night
As if I had nothing else to give that was right
Oh the thoughts of here are near cloudy white moon
Waiting for the hour to press on me like a weight
She cries and cries like a floating kite
Apart from her I make nothing worthwhile
I take each minute mechanical meat cleaver
Grocery stores aflame and all the same
Up in the high mountain the festive fountains
Splash out water that in the end will never matter
And throughout the festival the winners
Are the ones who dance without themselves
Memorials for the dead who have yet to be born
Rhythmic heart you beat as if lost torn music
Locked inside the mind you pry it open
But see it is only full of cotton
Good sir you make enough money
Will you let me have some?
I'll take your paper for a walk and
Will feed your fish every midnight
Your wife says you lie about your love life
Why would you do that to a woman
Who swears you were married underneath a holy sermon?
But I ask no questions that I cannot answer
So I am sorry but I will have to go
Here are a couple buttons and some muttons
I found at an alter per pound and a carton
Whispers on the water front lake
Where love goes to live and die
Each leaf here owes their own specific fine
And the machines cough as they bend over and wheeze
The rocky path we walked upon that fair night
Made me think of the ancients and all of their might
The squeak of the dinner chair
The man stands and then does fall
His mistress screams as she reaches for the beams
And calls the police as she pours out coffee and cream
But nobody seems to hear her pleas
And the man dies without a whimper or belief
Not that truth lies in words or the old mans sleeves
Every cave has their shadows ah mysterious ravines
When I say I don't much care to stay in one place I mean it
But that don't mean my love is all the thinner
I was born without a future and without a past
But that doesn't mean our love won't ever last
Now some say the sky was made by a hand
And others claim by no man only water pipes
And some people creep around waving their pamphlets about
Trying to sell me the stuff like it were stout
But I keep away from those money schemes
I head out the back way fast to leave
To move on to the next riddle the next stream
I ain't saying I'm better or I'm to good for you
There is just something inside of me I feel I have to do
And when the lonesome blues get atop of me
And you can bet your bottom dollar they do
I just look for a cool beer at the bar
And meet a friend at the corner around two
So say farewell to the ministry of defense
I always knew they were never going to pay my rent
I'm headed out the backdoor but what's more
I won't make a peep as I float across the floor
Reality who weeps on steps of ramshackled shack
Tears aloof in high esteem and praised by all
Twangs of misery flood the wooden stair case
As the ghosts of ancient literature are born again
And the minds of the young artists twists as it reads
The ******* the others have filtered through
And have all finished to **** and ***
Holding the quote like a ***** we all seem to do
Fragrance from the hands of the remembered ones
Heroes of the pen are recalled on
By the ones who can never strum a song
But what is it for if in the end it turns to nothing?
The experience that will soon be covered in dirt
Worms who eat away at the flesh the memories the dreams
Collecting the mulch for the next round of contestants
For the game within the game
Each staircase lined with the burnt bones of the past
A dark black mirror with no reflection
Pool of hot water burned from lack of affection
Monologue of nothing with a shoe string around its neck
An empty stage with an empty man in plaid
Grinning as he says nothing but believes it is everything
The piano man plays for a crowd of drunks
Collects his things and throws them in a flaming trunk
Headed home to a wife with a knife around her throat
And smiles are the thing we are wishing for!
And fortune and happiness and praise!
How the smile wanes as the wishes are forgotten
And the smoky ash of a volcano within
Erupts and there is no one around you who cares
Or gives a **** to save!
The night hawks pray on the weak
And mother nature a few times I have heard her speak
Darwin shuffles his deck of cards
As the igloos up North do not seem so far
I take it or leave it for anything worth doing
Is worth dying for
When your up against a world full of fakers
All you can do is arm yourself
With an essence that comes from some peoples Maker
Fear in the flabs of her fat
She talks of herself her woes and her troubles
The mask has been empty for years
When the soul once was is now only filled with tears
Hear the heart break of the century
A 25 year old billionaire!
A catastrophe of triumph!
A leap and a bound towards nowhere!
Catch the news if your mind may will it
They are burning money in Europe and the moon
We make our own future so our children don't have too!
A forgery mined in the caverns of procrastinated time.

SILLY SEASON, SLIPPERY SLOPES AND SOME SNOW SLUSH    
From the 7th diary entry of Stewy Lemmon's childhood adventures.    
       
WOW, it was already Christmas Eve. It goes to show, 'time flies when you're having fun', for winter was amongst us again. This year's weather was awfully cold, with the temperature dropping to only two degrees, it was freezing outside. I said, to my parents, 'it seems to be a silly shkeason for this time of year, and without any real good reason'.    
     
My dad, had gathered some wood for the open fireplace, that he had made for us inside. We then all sang songs and ate our multi coloured marshmallows, straight off the wooden sticks, to make us feel yummy, once inside our tummy.    
     
My mum Flo, said, with her cheeks as red as a rose, from the heat of the fire, which was making her cheeks glow. 'Do you want to go to the snow, for a couple of days'? We could have so much fun, in the white, cold snow'?    
     
So, the next morning, Dad packed up the car, with ski's, gloves, boots, jackets and even some ski chains for the slippery wet road tar.    
     
Mum, packed some food, drinks, our tooth brushes and even a hair brush and a comb. Then we hopped into the overloaded car, and headed off west in search of the white, cold snow.    
     
We finally arrived at the Shivermetimbers Ski Lodge, and the manager Monty Lopez, was there to greet us, and gave us the keys to our regular ski lodge. It's a funny job, by the way, for a bloke that can't even ski, due to vertigo, unbalanced and all.    
     
Once inside our weekend ski lodge, we quickly lit the enormous fireplace, which was built, smack in the middle of the very large lounge room.    
     
Mum and Dad had their own bedroom, my two much older, identical twin sisters, Emma and Jemma, had the ski loft, while my little brother Lemmy, Smoochy and I had the fold-out bed, that popped out from under the couch.    
     
Early next morning, we all ate bacon and eggs and drank hot chocolate, except for dad, who preferred his hot cup of tea.    
     
After breakfast, the manager Monty Lopez, told my Mum, Flo and my two, identical twin sisters, that they can have, free ski lessons down the back tracks, for an hour or so.    
     
     
But after only about, ten or fifteen minutes, with the, Shivermetimbers ski instructor, Stefan Pettersson, who was from North Poland, they just simply gave up.    
     
Not just because, every time they tried to stand up, all three of them kept falling flat on their backs. But, because Stefan Pettersson, could not speak a word of English, unlike his distant English speaking cousins in South Poland.    
     
I'm sure he was a great ski teacher, but maybe, needed to learn the language of the South as well. Then he could explain to the tourists, from English speaking countries, what he needed them to do, to stay on their feet.    
     
Meanwhile my Dad, along with his old and very funny friend, Trevor Thomas Timberlake, whom Dad has always called Triple T for short, were hiding in the retreat's garage, making another Christmas surprise.    
     
While Smoochy, Lemmy and I were trying to peek in and see what they were doing, we heard loud noises like, Boom, Buzz, Bang, Clunk, Clink, Clank, Smack, Swat, Slap and even Heave-**.We couldn't wait to see what they had made for us, after all of that noise.    
     
As we were walking back to grab a soft drink and bite to eat, BANG the garage doors opened, and that's when we saw our Christmas surprise.    
     
For it was Trevor Thomas Timberlake, dressed up in a very colourful Santa outfit. But, if you think that was funny, 'who do you think was pulling Santa's even more colourful sleigh'?    
     
It was the manager Monty Lopez's, eight very small pet Chiqaua's. They didn't look like they were that strong, to pull Santa's sleigh and Dad's old and very funny friend, Triple T.    
     
All of the kids and I were so pleased. I even noticed Smoochy, with a bit of a glee. Santa Trevor and his chosen helpers, my two, identical twin sisters Emma and Jemma, gave out the presents, to all of the children that were staying at the,'Shivermetimbers Ski Lodge'.    
     
Later that afternoon, my mum, had made a big barrel of fruit snacks for everyone to share. We were all about to start to eat, when all of sudden, we heard an almighty big crash.    
     
For Monty's eight very small pet Chiqaua's, were spooked by my grouse new pet mouse named, Smoochy. He had startled them all and made Triple T's Santa Sleigh, stack right into the table. With the fruit barrel sitting on top, the big crash had tossed the barrel of fruit, onto the ground and it rolled down the slippery snow ski slopes.    
     
Everybody rushed over to see all of the mess. But it actually turned out to be quite good looking, more or less. Because, Mum's fruit snack, had all spilled out and had created a really cool, very cold and quite a colourful, rainbow snack in the snow.    
     
I named that accidental creation of a mess, 'The Sensationally Spilt Rainbow Snow Snack on the Slippery Ski *****'.    
     
We had all decided to head back to our family's very large shack and have chicken nuggets with tomato sauce of course, instead of Mum's colourful fruit snack.    
     
In the morning, we went and saw the mess from the night before. My Dad and Triple T had come up with a clever idea, They had made some square wooden boxes, in such quick style.    
     
We gathered up all of the mess and packed it all into the wooden boxes. Then we made some very cool, fruit coloured, solid snow bricks. We were going to make some igloos out of the colourful bricks, and try and spend a whole night sleeping inside them.    
     
It wouldn't be that cold inside an igloo, we thought. Eskimo's do it all of the time, and they don't seem to catch that many colds.    
     
When morning had come, we had awoken to find the very cool, fruit coloured, solid snow bricks, had all melted away and we were lying in, not so very cool, fruit coloured, soggy, snow slush.    
     
We laughed and cried and hurried inside to get ourselves dried. I called that creation, 'The very cool, fruit coloured bricks, that just didn't stick'.    
     
Mum said, gather up all of that, not so very cool, fruit coloured, soggy, snow slush, and I will create you a new all time favourite, colourful fruit creation.    
     
She had put the slush and the fruit into several ice trays, and had placed solid sticks over each block and made them stick out a bit, from each of their ends. She then, cut holes in the middle of some plastic cups and placed the cups, on one of the ends.    
     
After a while, our very cool, frozen fruit delight, was ready to bite. We all had one, and yelled out yum, good on ya Mum. For, not only did the cup catch the melting ice, it also caught any fruit that fell off the side.    
     
I named that creation, 'Colourful Ice-Drips & Fruit-Drops in a Cup'. That's my Mum for you, always likes a good clean mess.    
     
Dad said, what a great idea, and that we should all listen more often to our Mums. Then, my Mum joked, 'if only your dad would listen to me more often'.    
     
That night, I was back in my fold-out bed, that popped out from the couch, I slept like a bug in a rug. Even Smoochy, crawled into bed, and gave me, an ever so tight hug, on our very last night, of our silly season, ski holiday trip.

The green dies.
Never totally, but effectively.
The shadows reach across the land,
increasing their span.
They spill and run off edges like paint that never dries.
Yet you can step in it and never leave a print.
...Or never have one in the first place,
never leave your mark, just crush the foliage:
**** whatever life is left.

The air steams your breath:
A lesson in mortality.
Look! See what makes you tick?
Let me take it, freeze it, condense it,
put it on display, and leave none for you:
the one who made it...
just to make a snowball
(which is really just a fight waiting to happen.)
(Who stockpiles ammo with no intention of using it?)
(Who bites their tongue with nothing to say?)
Too many snowballs grow to be an igloo:
fallacies you can live in for a while.
It's better to just be rid of them.
Let them fly, let them fly...
Relinquish your breath back to its element:
say what must be said, even if it kills you.

It's all the same in the end:
the land will thaw,
the shadows recede,
the snow will melt,
the air will fill with argument.

Why make so much noise
if you can just throw the snowballs
as you make them?

I'll tell you my frozen friend: shelter.

At least then, we can hide for a while.
Mold it to our will.
Sure, we could let it accumulate naturally.
Unformed and unmolded, it's just a burden:
unfocused feelings, drifts of words,
letters, and sounds.
It's better put to use as shelter than mud.
At least igloos are useful for a time,
(Mud still has to be dealt with in the spring,
Why start early?)
and snowballs are at least manageable:
little bites of envy, jealousy, suspicion.

Woe betide the sun who made THIS winter!
Leave US in the cold, why don't you?
Shower US in discomfort!
Leave US to deal with blessing after blessing
in the worst way possible!

It's in our nature to throw the snow,
to waste our respite, to fight with words.
If we don't, in our igloos,
we're washed away every spring
when the thaw takes our shelter,
our words,
our breath,
our loves,

our lives.

You know how people always build homes
in the people they love?
Me being the silliest architect there could be
Built a tiny igloo in you
With little if not no certainty,

Within the bountiful depths and crevices
In your mind of a maze and icy darkness of your soul
I found a spot for myself amidst the craze,
to keep myself warm and cosy from the cold.

In this little safe haven I seek comfort in
I established a place I called my own.
My tiny space of refuge I call it,
but in it I live alone.

As loneliness kicks in
I slowly explore outside of home,
In search of a getaway retreat
Nothing too fancy, nowhere alone.

And then I realise how homesick I get
When I dwell in the heart of another
All I want to do is to return
Back into a pair of arms that wont falter.

Did I mention how I built an igloo in you and called it my home?
Igloos melt in heat
and my love, so did you.

My home no longer.

This little guy is pretty chill
He lives on top an icy hill.
He can go sledding on his belly
Without turning into jelly
After he crashes and smashes
Into igloos or leaves gashes
In some poor eskimo’s ice
Sculpture that used to be very nice.

He can have epic snowball fights
When the polar bears don’t bites
And the seals decide to join in
On the fun and they all grin
With excitement and wonder.
He can also go under
Water and swim with the whales
Or slide down their massive tails

In short, for that is what a penguin
Truly is, not to mention
Cute, pudgy, and the coolest
Animal that lives life to the fullest

Can I keep you in my pocket,
And bring you around everywhere I go?

I have a wonderful little idea for you and me,
Do you want to know?

We meet eyes across a dark world,
And we cause an explosion of light.

Our bodies shiver, that warming, joyful kind,
And the feeling rushes from our hearts, just like a plight.

Our hands fit together perfectly,
And we kiss like Eskimos in their igloos.

We can build up a small house on a hilltop,
With a glass ceiling, if you choose?

I know how much you love the night sky,
And you know I love it too.

I would lay there with you always,
As the skies turn from blue to black, and black to blue.

On our hilltop, we'd be surrounded by green grass,
And flowers would grow between each blade.

There would be a tall tree overhanging our small house,
And, on hot days, we would sit under it for some shade.

I'd make you laugh just to see that amazing smile,
And your eyes would twinkle brighter than the moon.

You'd pull me closer and let me stand on your toes,
As we both danced to our favourite tune.

You'd whisper words no one has ever told me,
Three words that mean so much more.

And you'd wonder as we get lost in each other's eyes,
If our hearts had once known each other before..

If I keep you in my pocket,
My dreams may one day come true.

You'll meet my eyes across the dark world
And then I can live happily, in the light, with you.

Talk to me, talk to me of Old St. Nick
Talk to me of Sinterclaus
Of Mikulas, Pere Noel, or Babbo Natale

Talk to me of candles, christingle and a silent night
Talk to me of crackers, carols and calamities
Talk to me of snow, sleighs, and stars
Talk to me of Christmas cards, wrapping paper
Talk to me of gold, old spice and mice
Talk to me of icing, icicles
igloos, ivy
Holly
Oh sweet Hollie
Tots of Drambuie
Marmalade and toast

Talk to me of Philip Scholfield
Carols From Kings
Mary Poppins
Scrooge
Festive films
Radio Times
And things that are too pretty
Lights, nights
Hark, Dark
barking dogs
tinsel
Tinsel Town
Wolves at the door
Salvation Army playing once more

Talk to me
Talk to me
Cream Crackers, cheese
Frosty mornings, old knees

Talk to me of snow covered alpine forests
Gateaux
Cherries
walnuts and berries
Festive fun,
A seasonal run
Of All Gold telly
With a full belly
Farts, sprouts
Turkey that tastes just like chicken
Oh talk to me of
Terry Wogan
Rosh Jogan
Grogan Josh
Last minute deals
Black Friday
White Friday
And all the Cyber Mondays

Talk to me of
Happy Mondays
Dancing Bez
In a Festive Fez

Talk to me
Talk to me
Of Festive time
Late nights
Early mornings
Beer
Cheer
All in entertainment

Oh talk, TALK to me
Of hangovers,
sleep overs
gloves
mittens
and cute kittens

Oh talk to me of
fake Chanel
Faux Fur and underwear
Celvin Klein

Talk to me , Talk to me of
Jonah Lewie
Bony M
The Pogues
and all those rogues
Fairy tale of New York
Stop the Cavalry
Mary's Boy Child
And the
Spaceman who came riding by

Oh talk, Talk , Talk to me
of places, and spaces We all know
Christmas markets
Tesco, Aldi and John Lewis Adverts showing
Christmas is coming
Christmas is coming
Christmas is coming
Chris
Oh talk to me
Oh talk to me of old St. Nick

Talk to me
Talk to me
Eggnog
Talk to me
Talk to me
Bah humbug
Talk to me
Talk to me
Happy Christmas

I lay my head down
On the pillows of our past
Your indentation hasn't yet shifted
And I can still smell your essence
A twisted mix of shampoo and cheap cigarettes

Inhale.

It's almost like you're still with me
Blackened vision
The ghost of your arm wraps around me
Tighter than you ever had


Let me go.
You let me go.

Exhale.

The months fade like carbon paper etchings
Over time, I can't tell what you used to say
But I swear your voice
Still echoes down the hall
This isn't normal
And I'm proud now
That's half the problem

Inhale.


You breathe in daisies now.
Like I don't know how she smells.
Coconut and sunshine
Run off with your summer dream
While I'm stomping through
Snow angels
Hot boxing igloos, the way we used to
And you pretend to forget
Those nights we died between the stars

Exhale.

Pulse racing.


Suddenly I expose myself
Rip down the walls
Allow the hurt to spew into my vulnerability
Only a fool would miss you
This much

Well, color me brainless
As I breathe you in once more


Darling, I've been abandoned
For the thousandth time
And you'd think by now
I'd keep away

But that's the thing about
Fools in love,


We never learn.
We always think the ones we adore
Are worth the hurt.

They're not,
They're not.

But still,
I'll be waiting at your back door.
Knocking twice with a kick.
Our signal from 1997.

The street lights will gleam in our eyes.
As we try for the last time.

Exhale.


Just stay.

Hey Trump!
Yes you ...
You colossal donut you!

A fact is a fact
because it's a fact,
not because you
say it's a fact.

You may say:
"Nobody better ... "
but elephants don't
fly south in winter,

"The best, the very best ... "
but spiders cannot
navigate through
heavy seas,

"Immense numbers, immense .. "
but zebras will not
snuggle with lions.

"Honest man, so honest ... "
but igloos are not
built by three-toed
sloths,

"Mess, its a mess ... "
but Mitch McConnell
is not the most
handsome man alive,

"Fair, very fair .. "
but rich white guys
don't work hard
& pick tomato crops.

A fact,
is a fact,
yes it most
definitely is.

The northern lights flicker bright
across the igloos where all is quite
the fires do burn in magical glows
but only women and children
are now left at home
for the seal hunters that learned,
are now on the frozen ice packs
ready for their mammalian attack

With just flaming touches in hands  
and harpoons at their command
they peer into the darkness
hoping for the call of the seals
and a reaction of eyes
in this unforgiving cold
this unkind world
of the polar abyss


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris

Old ways, new habits
Probably out of balance

I hit up my best friend
Invite her to my palace.

I'm the king of cold
I'm building igloos in the sand
How you hate me when I talk
but love me when I tan?

There once were four brothers,
Who looked just like each other.
They lived together,
On the hills of heather.
Together they worked hard every day,
To bring back their daily pay.
Although they looked alike,
They each had the likes and dislikes.

The first brother by the name of Summer,
Who loved the sun and the bee's hummer,
He would sit by the stream,
Eating ice cream,
And enjoying the nice hot weather.

The second brother by the name of Spring,
Who loved the flowers and living things.
He would watch the flowers grow,
And feel the wind softly blow.

The third brother by the name of Autumn,
Who loved the leaves as they sink into the lake bottom.
He would sketch the leaves as they fall,
As he sat along the garden wall.

The fourth brother by the name of Winter,
Who loved the snow as it starts to fall bigger.
He would make igloos and snowmen,
And watch the pond's water go frozen.

When the four brothers had gone and went,
They named the seasons their events,
For theres a time where you wish to be cold,
And other times where you wish to be warm!

and you sometimes try to get over a tobacco hangover...
so that means: excess phlegm...
you apply quasi therapy to your
neck muscles and massage the
cavities beneath your forehead
(internal nasal lines equipped
with two furry caterpillars -
otherwise known as eye brows) -
and this ****** of a headache
is going nowhere... you coughed
for about an hour,
     took a **** to alievate the mental
pain of a throbbing brain,
that keeps bashing like a hammer
against the insides of your skull:
mainly through being awake for several
hours and not bothering to
empty your bladder (which by now
is the size of a watermelon);
but stashing a **** in your ****?
                   that's what a homosexual
tongue feels like in your ear...
you listen to it, and listen to it, and when it
stops: you go to the bathroom and
sit on the throne of thrones and relax
for a bit... some fetishist cat will want to
take in the experience with you...
        "i think" i'm at the meditation phase
of this reflection... cats and human excrement...
never knew the two went so well together...
like oysters and lemon juice...
but given that cat **** has a stench so foul
it could usurp the scent of sulphur from
the "depictions" of hell (scents are hardly
depictive, so... description of hell)...
        lucky *******, oysters... i once dated a girl
that thought it was funny to pour
salt onto snails...
                        but i can beat that!
back in poland, in the most obscure place
imaginable... two boys... a frog smeared with
lipstick and a packet of matches...
              boom! a dancing prince on fire;
which is why i rely on memory, or (ars memorandum)
rather than take to imagining harry potters:
it gets you the money... but doesn't give you
a hard-on to just sail... enya: sail away sail away sai
that haunting celt-elf type of mmm...
       lost for words: or just plain lazy because
digression, really requires speed,
         and the speed it requires has to (also) include
punctuation marks.
    it would have been easier to just cascade and write
boom!
boom!
boom!
               but not right here... what was my original
point? oh yeah, a typical tobacco "hangover" (yes,
because it's more like getting rid of excess phelgm that
has built up inside of you): but please!
please! someone find me a poet that writes about
the experience of harbopuring a tapeworm: i'd love
to hear from them in verse.
           so you cough and you cough
   and the three piglets live their "happily ever after"
in the first "house" they built (wigwams or igloos...
of just hiding under a mammoth sized wig;
scalp that ****, right down to the base, where a hoof
ought to be!)
seriously though: you take a **** and you refill your
sharpshooter round of ***** and ms. coca
            and you ponder the **** once more:
          death-bed regrets? why didn't i shove something
"else" in there? don't know, i was keen to compare
it to animals and the duty: she cats?
they're almost always ******* about the act,
that look in their eyes that could put oliver reed's
hellraiser antics to shame: given the look in their eyes
while doing the ***** bits: ****** come out!
      ****** come out!
                                  male cats? they're almost smiling
while doing it...
                (i think this is the part where you
can mutually acknowledge that i think my writing
is ****... comparing over drunks?)
               tobacco "hangovers"... you finally end
them, by harking...
          a bit like barking, but what you're really doing
is spitting the excess phlegm in your nose
      out of your mouth... disgusting, i know,
but what can you do... turn peafowl?
                                but you really do have to go
through this process every day (never mind
the headache: brain throbbing **** of skull:
thump thump thump... thump thump thump...
hammer sickel, hammer sickel)...
oh wait, that brings me onto my original prompt:
  a video (big fan, you tube, we channel),
and it's nothing like i might actually write a comment
in the "description" section (or simply add to it)...

tara mccarthy - laura southern:
how feminism hurts women.

                      i'm just a sucker for the drool... or nasal...
or whatever you like to call american linguistics...
          zombie oogh?         hooh?  ** ** **?
                             now i really feel like a viking, pillaging
people's punctuation styles and reminding myself (cognitively)
how it sounds in reverse... on paper... in script and not
in conversation... and it probably sounds a bit like this:
         and article in the times newspaper (editorial section,
just after the opinion section of journalists... like some
quasi reincarnation of dialectics)...
   the video's content? right-wing women cry valkyrie:
left-wing women respond: cut off the genitals and it's a community
founded on christian heresies unearthed in 1945, in egypt,
when the world was almost going to end (nag hammadi)...
                boy cry wolf, eh?
                                        so that video...
and the "anonymous" writer of the article
   seedier media (subplot): social networks must recognise
         their responsibilites and crack down on hate speech...
the two outlets go hand in hand...
         if mccarthy (the real one, the homosexual)
was alive today, he'd be like... perfect:
    the whole concept has automated itself via digital
human connectivity, now i can go to the beach
and bounce my beach ball and get suntan lotion
applied to my back by my boyfriend Fred;
                yeah, that mccarthy; (joe).
                    
i've had worse days, but they usually end with:
i start to write thin, and then get bulges that don't seem
to fit, totally anti paragraph...
                          (too much american media,
too much american alter media, matthew, i'm seriously
going to punish you for this)...
split conscious alternative realities?
      ******* talk without a well paid narrator
to create consent of any art form to begin with.
   second deathbed confession?
how to write a poem that would eventually lead
to a neat conclusion on form, i.e.

| begins here






                                                   ends here |

and all the line breaks are |
                                            |
                 ­                           |
                                    ­        |
                                            |
|
|
|
|
|­
               behaviour-wise... alas... but at least i managed
to get a sneak-peek into what inside out (pixar)
would look like... it was a three way conversation...
3/5 (three out of five)... i'm missing anger and i'm missing
disgust... oh **** me: so 1. joy, 2. sadness, 3. anger,
4. fear, 5. disgust...
                                 to be honest i'm seeing all of them
and writing pointless fractions concerning
                    ethnic correlation to something that looks
like that thing i, also am.

As all leaves have fallen to bare empty trees
Temperatures begin to drop
Colder and colder each day
From not being able to see your breath to seeing
And all the long sleeves and pants come out
With hats and mittens and boots and all other snow gear
Its time for the delicate and soft things to fall

For how could this be so soft yet hard at the same time?
Soft when first falling from the white clouds above
To being packed into spherical shapes to become hard
That is white all year round from cloud to ground
Yet when gone number one in or stepped on many times
Turns a different color

On those nights with the lights outside seeing them flakes fall
And looking so peaceful it just seems so relaxing to sit and look at
And watch gracefully fall for hours at a time

Thinking how pure it is to have something glide to earth
Making the round land we are on so beautiful you look in awe

To be outside no longer warm
To dress cozy to enjoy the weather and play in the fluffiness
Or stickiness and build with it
Just too much fun sometimes
After to come inside and heat up with some hot chocolate
Or maybe some tea and warm fuzzy blankets

The outdoors becomes cold and sometimes like ice
We choose to stay in and play some games and have some family time
Read a book
Or even a movie with some snacks to enjoy

Before bed as it continues to fall and watching it
As you begin to fall asleep makes the night relaxing
And followed by peaceful dreams

When grown and with the significant other or married spouse
For some to be outside and kiss under the elegant shapes
Is magical and sometimes cooler than kissing in the rain

To be able to build igloos and snowman
Making snow angles and snowballs
To tunnels and riding down hills
Snowshoe and go cross country on skis
To finding a sled or tube to ride down hills
Gaining speed and once in a while crashing
Or falling off with laughter to top it off
To catching them on your tongue
Sometimes even in the eyes but that’s alright
Because it is just water after all just a different form

With water freezing and some roads turning to ice
And lakes, rivers and other bodies of water freezing over
To skate on, play games on, fish on

It’s a wonderful season
Another time to get together with
Family from both sides
Enjoy homemade foods
Cookies that get made once a year
To ending the year and beginning the year
With the snowflakes that glide and shimmer

For some who don’t like to be around it as much
Or even as long
Vacation time is around the corner
To leave the white beauty to travel to warmer weather
For a week or maybe some months
But to come back with it still here
But not always

When it begins to fade and the inches become centimeters
To seeing the grass again
It is time to say goodbye
Goodbye till the end of the year
Goodbye winter gear
Goodbye but not for good all them long sleeve and comfy clothes
To the hot chocolate we all love
But secretly still have throughout the year

Saying Hello to warmer weather
Temperatures rising
Slowly
Rain coming
Storms coming for May to bring flowers
Once again

Goodbye winter for not many will miss you
But there of us who will and
Be waiting till you come again

You are many things
Many ways to describe you
Even though you can make us cold
And yet enjoy your presence
See you again

tattoo the word Holocaust
onto the palm
   of every African-American....
and wait...
  Apache!
           hood crux pixie...
        ****** addicts in Westplate....
        and wait for a century...
give it 100 years in Auschwitz...
               or give it ***** hope for
a pear....
                           and then i'd too
coagulate into custard phlegm...
             auf wiedersehen lenin...
   contort hippie named contra...
               armed boa:
and that handshake...
                        hoarce Horace!
                  shatayin bigger, bottom-blob
bound into eminem....
                          and it was always
to be dirtied by luck...
                fetish...
   dodged and the dog and cameod
the crucifix...
                                       igloos in egypt:
senf (mustard) gaz (gas): khaki
                  diarhhea.  
                        gravitas in the grün...
mein iris... regen bonne hund!
                                    volphren kind...
                   prunes of y in iota said: dried out
kynd...
and pirates toward a je - taime calculator:
taming the berserk stierhund...
                                 bison-knirschen:
hans klaus -
                              myth-gate ᛋᛋ...
              bolt and Zeus...
                                 i am: heritage +.
              Croatian nazis....
                                  nicht, nic, die volk.
annehmen steuern... katakombe denken...
                          ᚠᚨᚱᛟᛖ ᛁᛋᛚᛖᛋ...
told: by a hobbit... or originating from Dublin:
****'s sake!

The cold gloomy clouds
pouring down snow
The harsh winter today
with its frigid glow

Looking at beautiful snowflakes
outside the windows
Everyone cuddling
in their cozy warm homes

The smell of hot chocholate
Children throwing snowballs
Ice block Igloos
This is the picture of cold

By all these lovely snowflakes
Winter days are here
With Autumn best wishes
and Spring best cheer


- Dhwanit Sheth

We don’t belong here
Among people who see
Only red in the kaleidoscope.

People who will burn down the candy store
To keep a foreigner’s kid
From maybe getting a lollypop.

People whose good will
Ends at the top of
A concealed leather holster.

We don’t belong here
In a place where the scenery
Goes off limits 97 days a year.

A place where the wind
Is often angrier than me
And covers things with talcum powder dust.

A place where no humidity
Parches eyes and nose and mouth
And water gives you kidney stones.

A place where those with shrunken purses
Huddle down in freon igloos
Longing for the place they left.

We don’t belong here
The shadows of our spirits do not match
We sing our songs in foreign keys.

We hide the face of who we are
And wear the mask of fitting in
No, we really don’t belong here

But here we stay because
There is no other place to go.
          ljm

igloos of burning reveries
we hid in to save ourselves
it was a simpler time, indeed
but for a greater cost, to bleed
our emotions for a fast high
it was a lasting paradise
but for a hastened goodbye
to send off our love, again
into the wild blue yonder

no, i won't pretend to know
just how it all seems
i only hope we'll meet again
in another dream

If it were winter forever, I would be happy.
I would wear sweater’s and sweat pants every day.
If it were winter forever, I could hide my scars more easily.
If it were winter forever, I wouldn’t have to make excuse of why I’m wearing a long sleeve shirt or covering my arms with Band-Aids.
I have a feeling that you know I self-harm but you haven’t said anything to me.
If it were winter forever, I could make snow angels.
If it were winter forever, we could play in the snow all day long.
If it were winter forever, we could make igloos and drink hot chocolate made by your mother.
If it were winter forever, we could wear snow boots and have our skin be cold.
If it were winter forever I would be happy.

i used to write about scars i can't see anymore,
i would tear open and salt wounds in hopes of a piece that i could but would never fully be proud of.
these pieces i wrote held me down and made my feet drag throughout these hallways and,
i'm not doing that anymore.
i'm starting to remember who i was at birth,
who i am when i'm in my happiest state and not even my demons can drag me back down to the hell i used to light.
i love,
and i smile.
i used to write so much about who i used to be that i started to miss it when i couldn't write anymore.
my mind lived at more than four years back,
i relived my darkest days over and over when i couldn't see the sun in the morning.
i'm not doing that anymore.
last year, i lost my best friend,
my favorite person in this entire world,
my sun and my moon and my stars,
i believed the earth spun for him and solely him and i still do.
losing him made me lose my hope.
and for that time,
there were more dark days.
there were fresh wounds and igloos made of tissues and blankets.
i will miss him forever but i will live in his honor.
i'm holding my head up high and i will love and admire the earth until i meet my Everything again.
i used to write about the bad days,
the cloudy days,
the days where i cried on my bedroom floor,
the days where i burst out in tears during a normal day in class because i just couldn't do This anymore.
i'm not doing that anymore.
i've learned and seen how beautiful this world can be.

Call me ******* to your mother because I cuh-cuh-couldn't feel the trembling heat reaking havok on the in thigh stubble. Ow! **** sorry stub my toe. I'm moving slow enough to double dutch with a couple couple cookie crisp. Ishy on the in dispute. Grarly upon the laudry booth smoochie smooching on farting fairies flarping from the ex-haust.
Sorry my brain feels soft ffrom the rock salt. Hoochie snoochie snooting snorks slimey nap-cloth. Froze from the several palms second had palsy freezing in the eager eggnog. Ice over sire's searing sultry silken sick souly sullen franklin flame Bob. Billy will wally dilly Dally caught a fifty fatty rattle ****** daddy daddy daddy daddy, Fat Father igloos freak me father freak me father freak me father Im chuching my maugwa. Ma saws my mucho munched muddy crusty killer toes rain, *****? Are you hearing me gravel up your ****** hairs hurting from the rusty ****** clamps. I'm krusty crab freaking funk got me wondering why? okay wize guy wicked wonder wall watch my quest for questioning Ghostface Killah. I'm Slaid Cosby I ****** your daugher younger than the fury from you first tooth.
I wish you spat my drizzle from the furry foster the kids frontporch pistol grip.

Hop scotch?