I look for you in everyone.
Because I don't want to get hurt anymore.
Yes, I look for you in everyone.
So no one else can do, what you did to me.
If someday I run into you, don't expect me to say sorry for speaking up.
Don't expect a hug, because you don't deserve feeling my warmth.
Don't expect me to listen to you, when you try to tell me, that you did nothing.
I don't want you to even admit you did anything, because I know what happened.
I don't need anything from you, leave me alone.
Please, don't look for me, don't knock on my door.
Please, don't reach out.
The only thing you need to know is that I'm doing fine without you.
The only thing you need to know is that you did not keep me down.
The only thing you will find, is a different girl.
A girl who doesn't let people do what you did.
You have taken enough from me.
No, I don't forgive you.
They tried to build me.
They tried to build me so I didn't fall again.
They kept failing though.
I kept crashing back down.
They started getting tired.
Because they had their own life, they had to build up other people who meant more to them.
I was left, crashing slowly each day.
Until I became something I never thought I would be.
Then he reached out, and I started building myself up.
But I would stumble and fall.
He would stay and watch me.
Making sure I didn't fall to far.
He was there at night when I needed someone.
He counts the days with me.
I have to admit, at first I thought he would leave.
If he hadn't been here.
I don't think I would be where I am.
Slowly building myself up every-day.
Slowly becoming who I want to be.
Pages turn quickly.
Events happen on each page.
Some defining you.
Other events making you weary.
Some events that happen on the page are good memories, those seem to go even faster though.
The victims deal with the abuse.
Then when they get enough courage to leave, they have to go into hiding.
Afraid every-time the phone goes off, that it is them.
Every-time someone knocks on the door, they wonder.
Have I been found? Will I have to move again?
When they go out, they look behind them constantly making sure no one is following them.
Careful to post any information on social media, so they cannot be cyber stalked by them.
A friend request on the internet makes them suspicious, wondering if that could be them.
Someone who is friendly sets off alarms, wondering if somehow this person could be related to their abuser.
The victim did not ask for any of this yet, the only way to survive is to leave and hide.
Forever wondering if they will be found and put through the abuse again.
There are many forms of abuse.
If you know someone or suspect they are going through abuse please reach out to them.
Or someone who can help them.
Because they need to get out of the situation, even if the abuse has happened once or many times.
Because often times it will keep happening until it goes to far and the victim dies.
Or becomes seriously hurt physically or mentally.
give it one more moment
-they can add up
to something beautiful.
She’s happier when she’s self-harmed.
At least, that’s what she thinks.
She’s more confident when scars are hiding on her body.
Until she looks in a mirror
And realizes what she has done to herself.
She hates herself when she looks in the mirror.
Until that feeling goes away
When someone says, something mean, without knowing her story
That’s when self-hatred comes out and captures her mind.
She’s happier when she’s self-harmed.
All her issues are better when expressed on her skin.
Crashing back when the high of self-harming is gone.
And it ends up causing her more pain, then she had before.
She likes the world more when she has self-harmed.
It’s filled with so much good
Until something sets her off and feels the need to self-harm again
And she hates it all more than she should once again.
Her mind feels calm, when she self-harms.
Terrified of losing that feeling
She soon wants to self-harm again.
But she can stop any time she wants
She has herself trying to believe this.
Because self-harm takes the pain away.
That is, until all her friends leave.
Because her life revolves around the next time she self-harms again.