walking through the woods i was surrounded by a plethora of golden bronze amber leaves tumbling in the wind sparkling with a star fire that evanesced from their jagged edges upon their descent.  i stood entranced, mesmerized, utterly hypnotized by their glorious magnificence.  i observed with intensity as a golden bronze amber leaf never having been attached to the majestic tree had no need to let go but gently released.  feeling no trepidation it wholly lacked desire for manipulation to control the forces of the wind.  i watched in awe and wonder realizing that it never disengaged from the tree knowing that separation is an illusion; it simply became the wind.  whirling it shimmered in the autumn sun as it wafted with no need for reins allowing its destination to unfold.  gingerly cascading it settled tenderly on the ground resting comfortably in ambivalence.  i sensed it did not cringe when it was picked up by an unsuspecting boot but intuitively knew immediately that it was being carried and dropped off serendipitously at an auspicious location.  i listened to it intently and drank in its essence as it simply lay in being not obsessing over what would happen consequent but sat in sheer stillness seemingly encompassing all totality.  i was stunned to see that it lingered without judgment in undivided clarity for what wild synchronicity would come.  it quenched its thirst in mystery while being completely at home in uncertainty.  the golden bronze amber leaf seemed one with all that is while simultaneously retaining awareness of self-perception.  as a gentle gust of wind coalesced with the beige fall sky it literally merged with the momentum enjoying the ride to its perfect destination.  with delicacy it rested cozily in ambiguity whispering to me that heaven is a state and not a place.  i vow surrender to black and white existence pledging fearlessly to climb higher creating life with vivid vibrancy adding golden bronze amber to my palette of colors with which i’ll paint.

©2016 janetaylor

You are my
Ensorcelled Elysium,
You are my
Eden Dream.

You cascade
Upon my Dreamscape,
Enshrine my slumber in
A flowered gale of aromatic petals
That envelop me, beckon me
To herald the rebirth
Of Days of Yore.

You vein
The Glistening Glade of Memories
With your
Brooks of Aqueous Emerald.

Tis' the
Phantasmagoric Plane
Where still
My wayworn spirit wanders, wearily
In search of the magic
To enfetter
The Hands of Fate
(For they conspire against us).

Swifter than your descent
Into my soul
(Five seconds still and flat)
By
The nexus of your affections,
You evanesced
Like vapor,
Yet
I shall not concede to
The Malevolent Matriarch of Destiny.

For you
O, Breath of Life,
Forsook me not
So I sublime all stains
Tarnishing my flesh
By cries to The Ethereal.

At midday
Awaiting the Twilight
I long for
The birth of The Womb of Aether’s
Progeny,
Starlit winds.

I muse
Swimmingly in Seas of Reminiscence,
Banished from that Blackened Bastion
Of Shadowed Heavens,
For when darkness shrouds
My dreams can be seen
Draping the skies.

I then fathom,
You must not be far off,
Wishing,
Hoping,
Believing
That perhaps
You too
Wonder upon stars
Longing to find that one
That entwines us anew.

You shall alight,
Upon me once more
As
August Sun’s Nimbus
(If only for a moment)
Is thwarted
By
Ebony Miasma
That drenches Cimmerian skies.

In search
Of Ardor’s Light abiding in
The Sylvan Shrine of Your Numinous Eyes
I plead that
The Crag oppress
The Coals of Tribulation,
Until my anguish is
A Diamond Heart.

The pilgrimage
I must bear,
Must be traveled by
The Adamantine alone.

Where have you gone,
Tree of Life?
Why have you withered,
Yggdrasil?

Do I possess
The Eradia of Souls,
By which you shall
Effloresce?

I would halt the cogs of time,
Relinquish my liberty,
To slumber for eternity
In crystal stasis
By your side.

Even in that crystalline quietude,
I would be eminent,
I would be exalted,
I would be ennobled,
In the knowingness that
Your
Stalwart Heart
Radiates
Just beside me.

I exhale Empyrean Winds
When rapt in reverie,
Yearning to be
Captive to your devotion,
Yours alone.

The Bliss of Your Most Holy Kiss
Would signet me
With the
Bounty of Your Name
Burnishing the skin
On my lips.

Though ephemeral,
Your presence divined,
Your presence
Was my anointing.

To be solaced
By the astral resonance emitted
By your touch
Sent the
Pulse of Nirvana
Surging, rippling,
Like a kaleidoscope tide,
Down my spine

You are
The Waters of Vitality
That floweth from
The Creeks of Eden,

You have been
Poured upon my palate
From the
Goblet of Redemption
That I may drinketh
Of
Supernal immortality.

When once again we meet,
Perhaps the tears you summoned
From my spirit
By your
Stirring caress
Shall have absolved me
Of the pangs
In loving a man
(And man alone).

Perhaps then,
The sentiments
I pine to profess,
Will resound.

A melody
Sung in legato,
A  mellifluous melisma,
Flawlessly delineated
And
Intonation in deiform
Or perhaps,
Flowering fioritura
Lacing airwaves,
By the Empress Coloratura.

Perhaps then, piety
Betwixt you and I,
Will waft the air
And I might then,
Permit my quaking body
To succumb to
You alone.

Until that morn,
I shall be vigilant,
Counting the Dawns,
Counting the Twilights,
Until
I can gaze
Into your forested eyes
If even for but a moment.

For even but a moment
Spent with you,
Will bleed a nostalgia
Across my mind's sky,
Painting clouds crimson with passion,
And
That I shall revere,
And
That shall last
And last
And,
Last… And
Last.

O, it will last,
To Elysian Infinity.

∞
            I am a vestige,
               But I shall live once more,
                  In the light of memories
                       That blossom, are perennial,
                           And imbibe the dazed glory of the past
                       Until the past is vanquished
                 By a future that is fragrant
             With the mist of romance
          And eclipses the simulacrum,
       A fictitious sun of the infernal masquerade,
    The antithesis of the truest holy,
Then, rapture of life shall mystify no longer,
For the Numen of Truth,
  Shall cleanse creation without a drop of façade,
      His Providence shall emancipate the hollow,
             The Death of Dreams shall writhe
               In everlasting abeyance,
                 Absolving our wayward spirits,
                  The Winds of Change,
                  The Scourge of Pain,
               And
          The Loveless Wraiths
        That haunted our husks
      Shall be transcended for aeons,
  And tribulation made distant, made nebulous
As the Genesis of Time and Space itself
  For we embark on an exodus,
     Beseeching salvation to redeem us
        When the Requiem of Iniquity
           Is triumphed by everlasting cadence.

Be Valiant,
                 Be Sapient,
                             Be Love
                                       And
                                          By this
                                                You shall conquer the world
                                                           ∞

A shadow of never was rings true in my heart

The warden’s bewildered, the keeper’s amazed
as the gate gapes behind us, a hole in the haze.
Our steps seem uncertain, the cobblestones crazed,
pearly stars burn above us like pinwheels ablaze.
Though lanterns hang vacant in streets staring blind,
broken paths paved in puzzles compel me to roam,
                                       I’ll not leave you behind.

The cannons keep calling, the piccolos shriek
and the druids drift, drumming, while pale pagans speak.
They’re urging me forward, my senses they’ve mined,
and the trail is erupting, come hie to the hills
                                       I’ll not leave you behind.

The looking glass glistens, a firefly glows,
and the brownies leap lightly on tiny tip toes
for the twilight’s collapsing, which serves to remind
that as dusk turns to dust, with no time for farewells,
                                       I’ll not leave you behind.

The ponies of plunder prance, passing nearby,
as crusaders on stallions cast stones from the sky.
The figments they’re facing have paid them no mind,
but our broncos are bolting. Corral what you need,
                                        I’ll not leave you behind.

My visions are swirling, they flash from the crown,
from the rainbows of summer, the tinsel in town.
While the compass wheel’s spinning, the minutes unwind
inside evening’s auroras – so cling to my cape,  
                                       I’ll not leave you behind.

Drooping droplets of wax adorn pinched candle wicks
while the vampire steeple’s cathedral clock ticks
of the terrors in tombs where ****** flames lie reclined
with their flickers fast fading – abandon the glim,
                                       I’ll not leave you behind.

The orphans and widows lean into the breeze
watching horrified hangmen descend to their knees
for the angel of mercy’s no longer inclined
to forgive vengeful  phantoms (oh Furies of night!) ,
                                       I’ll not leave you behind.

The bandits are brazen, the highwaymen lurk,
some imbibing dark brews of a hag’s handiwork,
mostly gulping from goblets like goblins maligned.
Woman! Widen your wings, catching wisps of the wind
                                       I’ll not leave you behind.

The lepers laugh, leaping from tombstones of steel
chasing rollaway caskets on luminous wheels;
while their shadows shake, shrouded, twixt trees intertwined,
twisted time melts at midnight, take hold of my hand,
                                       I’ll not leave you behind.

The gremlins *****, grinning face down in the dust,
while the sprites and the pixies are watching nonplussed.
They sling bolted arrows at spectres enshrined
within winds somewhat flustered, just fly from your fears
                                       I’ll not leave you behind.

The tattered toy teddies and raggedy Anns
have escaped to the skyways in kid caravans
but now, spellbound by fancies, know not that they’ll find
their parade’s evanesced into echoes of dawn –
                                       I’ll not leave you behind.

The wind’s my enchantress, beguiles and commands
me to search for my fortune in faraway lands
and whispers her mysteries of passions entwined,
for the wind is Isolde – unfurling my sails
                                        I’ll not leave you behind.

Nobody's honor
Should include brutality.
A heartbroken people
Fighting for a forgotten cause,
Shrieking children
Running from guns,
Running from fathers,
Defending themselves against the
Electrifying terror of
Torture.

Yet we hardly bat an eye at war,
Creating a vanishing sympathy for
Pain and destruction.
People hardly remember what it was like to be a
Human.
Just watch the news.
Just go to the movies.
War is now entertainment.
Destruction is now praised.

I hate war.

She was his stars
                                                                                            He was her moon
                                      Both lighting up the night.
He wished but never had hope
                                                             She had faith but lacked conviction
                              Neither one had been fully sincere.
He withdrew from the light
                                                                                    She was lost in the fog
                        The moon and stars gradually evanesced
                                 Until only darkness remained.

Anchored at the berth
For centuries
attempting
to gracefully
Slip the mooring
A distant yesterday's whisper
Evanesced
now steadfast
As if bewitched by the galaxy
Unaware of the
contiguous
Land and liberation
Tauntingly so
rooted
Refusing to be liberated
Time and time
Unnoticed
invictus
again it slips from moon to sun
And time has stood still for so long
It has become
Interchangeable

A darkness, the gloaming,
Passes through the hill
Terminating summer
And the remainder of our laughter

Now I halt at the ****** of my tracks—
Awaiting, anticipating, yearning for the best
The best has passed!
Or perhaps was never intended

Not for now, not this fall,
Not ever, at least for me—
Should I accept that?
Or never lapse under the weight

The weight of autumn,
Jubilation evanesced
Apperception of edging expiry
The beginning of absolute rest

A failed romance,
Deteriorated to the end
And leaves you ruminating,
“What could have been…"

The clock strucks midnight
another day set down
out of misery
plaintive songs the stars sing
another dismal night born
born to the hope of resuscitation.
It falls in
trapped in warmth of storm
that could never detach a leaf
on the top of it
wails a passing wind
for it never evanesced a teardrop,
and soaked with my teardrops
there lies my favorite pillow
golden brown,torn
waiting to feel my heartbeats
in sync with your footsteps.
But you never rang my bells
that whimsical tune
set for your phone call never buzzed,
and the beach near your place
we were to make sand pyramids at,
lies barren,lifeless.
What i hear
over the sound of sea waves hitting a stone
best of your venomous words
three months back
you spit out,then left.
In those few moments of your stay
my heart barely felt anyone's presence.
Now,here i stand
on my knees
impaled by the silence
stagnating my valor since then
begging for the echoes.
What if the words sound pungent,
they're yours anyway!
It is dark outside love,
and that fainted light
on the top of the tower
few meters from my window
never signalled your sojourn!
so i stay awake
untangling the variables of Algebra
to shape the letters of your name & engrave it over my wrist
then wash it away
so easily in the morning.
Though the feelings remain intact
once warm,now as cold as mid december
but unlike december
it conspires to last longer.
Longer that forever
devoid of the smudges of broken trust.
Hoping,Wishing,Waiting
will you ever come?
Or am i not?
Not even worthy of a goodbye?
you left without a single word
whom should i try & look beautiful for?
The dark patches
underneath my eyes
horrid and unseemly
No,i dont wanna stay up at night
reading your message to your first love
but eulogise the drastically beautiful eyes you've got.
Mornings never brought bliss.
sunrays burnt my eyes rather make it shine.
These damaged eyes
find you ten folds better than
every other 6 feet tall guy
because no one else
treads over my heart
meliorating every bit of it,
the way you do
then coerce it to fall in for your guiltless flaws.
And if you remember
we met each other,
virtually
around this month
two years back.
I fell adrift.
Hoping you'd clasp me
it hurt
more than it could
more than it should
and if you choose to ruin me,
let me be ruined!
For the sake of the smile
i'm irrationaly in love with!
Yes, I am in love with you!
frantically,passionately,psychotically
and willingly staying there.
You seem content unquestionably!
yet this heart longs to hear it in your voice.
Are you doing fine my love?
Will i ever know?
For i'm just a wish away
but you?
1762 Kilometers!

As tears streamed down her face
She cried in agony
Her knees were scraped
And her clothes were tattered

Her once beautiful face
Is now bruised and scarred
Eyes are red and swollen
Her hair is tangled, covering her visage

Once she was an angel
But now her wings are broken
She carries a heavy memory of abuse
A no escape situation

She was blamed by the fiend
Who didn't even took time knowing her
Her name, destroyed and neglected
Good personality, evanesced

She was never sighted again
No one even missed her
Because of the devil
She was shattered into fragments

I fell in love with a poet,
a composer who sang his thoughts

I fear I hum the words he strums
Serenade, lullaby, his darling good night

His poetry heeds the universe and infinity
Forever is fairytale, forever there is hope
Surrealism is all he desires

Art is not perception, rather it touches the soul
Every inch of the poet is constellation,
not a speck of imperfection to my eyes

He knew what's in my heart
Synapse to synapse, untraced

The heartbeat chimes to the damsel who evanesced
Eternal, he churn and cling to her strings
Days, months, years
Endurance, indolence

I sit, I read, I decipher his thoughts
In hopefulness, someday,
the poet will devour me as his own.

from beneath the steadiness of her convictions,
a minute quiver of doubt
gave rise to seismic realization.

a rather austere ordeal,
like the waning of a summer's moon,
from which springs fall.

sitting in the bulwark she'd built for herself,
she feels satisfaction as she absorbs the fumes,
her personal ritual complete.

the floor grew distant, and the walls began to melt.
a cascade of sparks danced across her neurons,
and chemicals saturated her brain.

her soul expanded; her mind widened.
her breathing became ragged, and her heart frantic.
moments passed by as hours.

thoughts blurred through her mind.
streams of consciousness streaked past.
the brainstorm flooded the streets.

her train of thought sped along,
and as suddenly as the insight came,
it dissipated into polychromatic smoke.

the numbness slowly drained from her fingers.
her thoughts became sluggish in comparison,
as the euphoric edge evanesced.

tears rose in her eyes as waves of nausea swept over her,
and pain erupted in her head, within which,
the sound of her uneven breathing reverberated endlessly.

after the agony had passed,
she returned to the outside world,
drowsy and disoriented.

the jaundiced stares of her former peers pierced her.
each word that she spoke, disregarded,
and every action judged.

she felt the weight of their censure,
but the heavier encumbrance was her basic need,
to fill each breath with her death sentence.

There was once a boy
A boy that resembled a toy.
A boy who wore oversized shoes,
Baggy pants and unusual spectacles.

A short stub,
That lazed clumsily around the room,
A boy whose appearance was hardly noticeable,
And presence engulfed.

The poor boy was constantly annoyed,
Teased and bothered.
Thrown around the room
Like the rag he seemed to be.

There seemed no escape,
From terrifying bullies,
That roamed around the school,
Waiting patiently to crush him.

The helpless boy waited,
For the Bully to take him,
Grab him by the shoulders,
And smother his dreams in pain.

One day, however, the boy waited.
He waited patiently
For the bullies to take command,
But they never did, they just walked past.

The lonely boy discovered,
That he pertained an unknown power,
One that left him nameless,
And devoid of appearance.

He knew he was not vitreous,
See-through or transparent.
But he could roam through a room,
Unnoticed, overlooked.

He could run through a clear field,
And go unperceived.
He was able to devour a thousand meals,
And never be blamed.

Such abilities brought wonderful joys,
And grand pleasures,
However such leisure brought
Terrible solitude in return.

The assurance of his safety warmed him,
Knowing he’d be free of harm.
But the gawky boy was lonely,
Devoid of company or charm.  

He roamed the halls alone,
He sat absently in his desk.
And slowly his loneliness
Began to consume him.

He was overcome
by the colorlessness of his pale skin,
The crookedness of his misshapen brow.
He slowly fainted, into a mirrored glass.  

The boy had become,
That he had always been;
Another shadow,
Another gust of wind.

His pale skin disintegrated.
The oversized shoes sank.
His spectacles shattered.
The smirk evanesced.

The boy became,
That which cannot be named.
A light breeze,
A faint whisper.

I was laying in a small corn field
As the sun evanesced over the small hill
The sky was filled up with iridescent lights
The resplendent lights were all hues purple and pink
They danced across the sky as gracefully as a ballerina
Then the crickets started chirping,
quietly at first but then they crescendoed into a beautiful chorus,
like thousands of violinists smoothly flying their bows over the soft strings
The lights slowly faded away
And the crickets silenced
The day was now done  
And a new had begun

The crescent on the horizon
set out in the night
Reddish brown orb
quite timid to materialize

Many, oblivious to its sight,
it evanesced away
from the welkin high

Saw I, him shyly walking off
with the dark
lonely as ever,
away from the stars

The temple that we laid down
in our past is in ruins,
the goddess has evanesced,
I lay flowers at the feet
of our devotion,
I still pray, with silent hope
that you’ll come back
So we can rebuild
this religion,
that was
You and I.

Bills piling shots firing I'm trying to find a way
Introverse with her whining carrying on now confounding
Uncomfortably I lay arrest the facts on should I stay
Consideration out the door confide my thoughts ample the roar
Patience, interests, attachments, evanesced
Love, desire, allegiance, suppressant
Quiescent our days spent questions asks nowhere to vent
While time progress the strongest may stick thus, what is done we forget is effects of Decay theorist
Faults will be blamed and blames will be fault
Obsessed with an solution that disinterested us with doubt
Moue and pout scrutinizing about ubiquitously we well figure this out
Grind, fail, comes with travail enough of both will prevail
for the time being mistakes are edit abate, the ****, cusp, the tail,
CREDITS

Looking around stood a single daffodil
Standing atop the hill
All alone with dry grass
Grass that was unable to grow
Trying to take poor flower down

Because the little daffodil was brave
Another one grew by his side
Until many then began to join
They all grew around the once lonely flower
Until they were a strong army

The sun blazed down
And held the army well
Then a chill filled the air
And all the leaves fell

Time passed and they stood strong
But with time, things change
The seasons passed and they all evanesced
The remnants of a strong army

The winter was long
And everything was silent
The icy particles lay over the dead flowers
Blanketing them in a dense blanket

Eventually the sun’s rays melted away the snow
Leaving a drowned field of almost gone flowers
The flowers attempted to come alive
But the ground was too wet

I find myself in the days which have thus evanesced,
How oft, well beneath the flux of the fiery beating orb,
With childlike leaps sprung by scurrying feet, I soar
To a paradoxical paradise long since to dust coalesced.
                                          
           ­                                YET

The serpent that burdens with sleight ~ of  ~ hand trickery,
Banished from Eden, tho barred not from creation, as Sin
Forged a home by me, but not within, naught within!
He  slithers amongst thee, may God shield & deliver me!


.                                           HE,

My God, is to whom I turn to in dreadful moments
Like these: times that seem lost in the miasma of Hell;
And Life has dealt another wild card to me, I fell
For the bluff and chose poorly before my atonements.



                                          WALKS


Seem to help, when I feel quite down in the mouth,
For I have fallen from Grace-or so I have felt- at
Times when Sin in me seemed to rule my past,
And prayers seemed naught to help in my bouts.


                                        WITH


Me, I once carried my burdens more than my bible
Because my faith faltered from time to time, living
For the moment seemed more convenient, giving
Naught a thought but in hindsight to soul survival.


                                         ME,


I make mistakes which does not make me fake,
Perfection is not what He expects in this, The
Grand Test, which does not make me bad or godly
But rather on a quest to beat this mess I did make.

Sombre footpaths dewed with vapours
of fear condensed I walked, petrified I
would lose command, my mind, my reason,
my reflection tormented by

a malfunctioning intellect never ceasing
to ponder. Myriads of thoughts I thought
would lead me to insanity until, forebodings
swiftly evanesced under beams before me,

incandescent light radiated by the closest
star, leaving me alone, in ecstasy
of a fearless journey within the immensity
encompassing, voluntarily surrendering

control only trusting, my gut in tune
with the natural volition of The All.

cold grimy fingers rasping on the coffin of life
I scream but whispers escape
clawing my way down, down
yet all i find is more despair

I rant, desperate for a way out
but find only a knife or rope
All hope is evanesced
and i find only a void of terror

The only light love or link to sanity
snatched away by the devil himself
And her name erased from my lips
and her heart ripped from my chest

My only friend in my time of need
turns his back he does not heed
and so I give in I turn I die
not to speak, to move to live.

with my only brother
with my only chance
with my only love
with my only friend

i say goodbye

Doing love and yearn for something are contrast i don't want to be desire of someone.
You affirmed that you love me but i didn't endure that love , maybe my fragility.
You desperately want me but tell me baby
i am your enthusiasm but
what if someday your ardour will be someone else?
Now you are proving your love for me and i also commenced falling for you but
what if someday you get over me?
You told me my eyes are like pearls and you know that someday this pearls will also turned into old rocks and
What if my eyes evanesced ?
You see the most prepossessing thing in me is my smile , but
What if my smile get faded?
You told me i am the most caring , understanding and beautiful girl but
What if i will be the most difficult person to understand someday?
You told me i am the pure soul and melt hearted but
What if my heart melt away and turned into vapour?
What if baby what if.....?
Tell me ?
You don't have the answer right?
Because you want me and you don't love me
Don't like my eyes do love then only you can see the entirety
Don't fall for my smile be the reason instead then trust me ,we will never disaffiliate and i will never let you down.
Instead of telling me i am so caring and understanding do same to me because sometime i really need someone to understand me .
Instead of seeing my gold heart touch my heart baby then only you can know how every beat of my heart craves for your love
Yes i love you but you only like me.

Can't remember how I fell asleep

moments before the mind sunk pillow deep

unconscious conscious evanesced, fades

existential thoughts, the ace of spades

numb to the world, we disappear

blank comfort, unknown atmosphere

A ticket to the Theatre of dreams

seat upon a cloud or hellish screams

Where the mind's in liberty minus your intention

Without the strict regime & restless tension

A cinematic place of infinite wonder

no technicalities or time to ponder

The preposterous imagery behind your eyes

Solivagant adventure floating in the skies

As dawn arrives & your hanging on the brink

& wake up not knowing what to think