Integrity: adherene to moral principles, honesty..and the quality or condition of being whole..undivided.

Cheating:  to deprive someone of something valuable by use of deceit.

         Most, if not all of us, need, and very much desire physical intimacy (yes, sx).  Can I say sx  on here? ...I'm not sure. Sx is like the greatest thing ever invented. It's right up there with eating and sleeping.  Everybody likes it..everybody wants it. But when someone is in an exclusive relationship with another, married or not, you don't get to have sx with whoever you want anymore. True, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, no one is perfect, and at times we are weak, for one reason or another. But an honorable man or woman...a person with integrity and inner discipline...recovers..and learns from the mistake...and doesn't repeat it.  That is not what cheaters do.  Cheaters are habitual. That means repeat offenders.  Cheaters talk about things like honor and will power and integrity, but they don't practice it in the place it counts the most, with their beloved.  With cheaters, it isn't about a "mistake".... a one time thing they feel horrible about afterward and promise themselves never to repeat.  Cheaters simply don't care. It's not that they don't care about the girlfriend/boyfriend, or fiance or spouse that they have made a promise of committment to. They do care...they just care more about themselves. It is the promise of faithfulness itself that is meaningless to them...it is simply empty of any real sincerity.  But the problem is that the promise is accepted by the loved one as sincere.  That promise is relied upon and as important as though it were tangible.  So irrespective of how much the cheater spits upon the promise everytime he or she cheats...that promise is HOLY.  Yes, that's right..HOLY.  What does that mean...holy?  Like church holy..or holy water holy?  How is a promise holy?  Well, really one could argue that any promise is holy, but how much more so when a person believes and loves and trusts another...putting all of their faith and future hope on a promise of real love and commitment.  That trust and love make the promise holy.  It is not the hollow promise itself, but that loving reliance upon the promise that creates the holiness...the pure beauty of love... and the faith that it is returned exclusively to the beloved.

          The true sadness is that the beloved will eventually find out about the cheater and then the house of cards will come tumbling down.  Not only is the relationship destroyed, but the trust, faith, and love is destroyed as well, and it may be difficult to ever trust again, in any relationship.  Such immense pain can be caused.  It is amazing that cheaters don't seem to care or think about the consequences of these indiscretions.  Do any of them think ahead of time about the people and/or god forbid, children that will be left lying in the wake of their utterly selfish acts?  The people that will be left trying to pick of the pieces of their hearts, and try to rationalize whether anything that they had believed in was actually real.

          The question is, what and who does the cheater value?? What does the cheater respect?  Do they even value their own selves?  Does a person who thinks nothing of cheating on a regular basis, or every chance they get on their loved one value and respect anything?  Clearly there is no respect for the promise made. There is no respect for the one whom the cheater purports to love.  There is no respect for the man or woman the cheater is doing the cheating with...because clearly that person is just being used to fulfill a carnal desire..and arguably the cheater doesn't even respect him or herself, because a person with an inner moral compass respects him or herself enough not to do things that will cause pain to others, especially those who love him or her.

          So maybe the cheater does not have any real understanding of what is holy..the meaning of a promise...an understanding of integrity...of sacrifice...of the pure beauty of love.  If a man or a woman is in a relationship and can't keep their **** legs closed...then that person has no business being in a relationship.  Its just that simple.  You can't have your cake and eat it too, and then want to eat someone else's cake as well.  If you are so selfish and deceitful that you can't be honest and faithful to the one you profess to love...then do that person a favor and either agree with them to have an open relationship, or let them go.  Because the act of cheating is entirely selfish in every way.  Cheaters want the security and benefits of an ongoing relationship with their significant other, and they want to mess around on the side as well because then they have the best of both worlds.

          But you don't have to go to church or believe in any particular religion to know that cheating is wrong.  It is a hurtful despicable act made even more vicious because it is intentional and hurts the person who loves the perpetrator.  How many crimes are like that?  ....the most heinous.

          So, if you are a cheater..don't ever talk about honor and integrity and code of conduct.  You have no right to utter those words.  Because when you live by  principles of ethical behavior, you don't pick and choose when to apply those principles.  You don't decide that they apply in some areas of your life, on some days, but not on others.  Think before you act..think about who will suffer from your actions...think about the destruction you will cause...do not believe that you can get away with it forever, because eventually the law of the universe will catch up to you.  There is retribution for every act in which we inflict pain on another...for every time we make a promise and then break it..whether anyone ever knows about it or not...just some food for thought

When the time together becomes a bore.

    When you start to figure your'e not the only girl he adores.

   As you realize the kisses aren't sweet how the used to be
            
          As you lie there in his arms perhaps your heart will feel like it doesn't belong.

         And when you remember the memories you shared from this song, you'll start to cry.
      
   When the fun nights out are no longer shared with you.

You'll be sitting alone asking,
"what did I do?".
      
     Nothing will be same, not even text messages.

      When you send the I love you text, just know he's texting his ex.

And he'll probably get to you in a sec.

      With a response like, you too.

   Sweetie, cheaters will be cheaters.
And there always be him and two of you.

Two things
I hate the most
Cheaters
Liars
You cheat on me
You don't deserve me
You don't deserve to be happy
And I will find out
I always do
You lie to me
You don't deserve my trust
I'll never believe
a word you say ever again
But you do both
You break everything
I ever had for you
I'll never want to see you again
Because the kind of pain
That will come
Will break me
Destroy me
**** me
I'll hate you
Until my heart stops
Which won't be long after.
You cheat on me
We will work through it
You lie to me
We will work through it
But you do both
And I'll **** him

If you loved me so much
You would have known.

You would have known I don't like
Sugar in my tea

And that I can't sleep without my demons
Side by side with me.

That when I suggested no, I was
Hoping you'd agree.

You would have known I needed stability-
Not whatever this is you've given me.
I can't waste away my heart
on something so untrue,
I cannot give my love
to unfaithful you.

If you really loved me,
These are things you would have known.
I've no time for your apology,
Please leave me alone.


But let this be a lesson to you,
That cheaters never prosper,
And liars never grew.

Cheaters never win,
winners never cheat.
I gave you my heart for your hands to keep.
you broke my trust
or was it lust?
I know you love me
but revenge plays out, you'll see
Stupidly, I will stay
let the game play
but youre the sin
I will win
cause winners never cheat

I wish I had never met ***** ******* mama's boys like Michael Czech and Peter Pans and cheaters like Robert Littlejohn. They prey on innocent women via http://facebook.com and put on pretend face and hurt innocent women who fall them like Elizabeth Stewart Gandy, Emily Warner, and Laura Blackburn. Michael Czech is awould be poet and  Robert Littlejohn a would be musician with an impossible dream in Nashville.  Check out http://linkedin.com/Robert Littlejohn and see for yourself.

**** the world.
**** the liars.
**** the cheaters.
**** the rude ones.
**** the cold ones.
**** the slander.
**** the insults.
**** the pain.
**** the demons in my mind.
****!

On the First day of Xmas, my Dem Rep gave to me
A transwoman in her skiv-vies.
On the second day of Xmas, my Dem Rep gave to me
Two fake *******, and a transwoman in her skivvies.
On the third day of Xmas, my Dep Rep gave to me
No women’s sports teams, two fake ******* and a transwoman in her skivvies.
On the fourth day of Xmas, my Dep Rep gave to me,
Four phalloplasties, no women’s sports teams, two fake ******* and a transwoman in her skivvies.
On the fifth day of Xmas, my Dem Rep gave to me
Five preg-nant men! Four phalloplasties, no women’s sports teams, two fake *******, and a transwoman in her skivvies.
On the sixth day of Xmas, my Dem Rep gave to me,
Six double mastectomies, five preg-nant men! Four phalloplasties, no women’s sports team, two fake *******, and a transwoman in her skivvies.
On the seventh day of Xmas, my Dem Rep gave to me,
Seven teens with breast binders, six double mastectomies, five preg-nant men! Four phalloplasties, no women’s sports teams, two fake *******, and a transwoman in her skivvies.
On the eighth day of Xmas, my Dem Rep gave to me,
Eight cheater’s trophies, seven teens with breast binders, six double mastectomies, five preg-nant men!  Four phalloplasties, no women’s sports teams, two fake *******, and a transwoman in her skiv-vies.
On the ninth day of Xmas, my Dem Rep gave to me,
nine pharma lobbyists,  eight cheaters’ trophies, seven teens with breast binders, six double mastectomies, five preg-nant men! Four phalloplasties,  no women’s sports teams, two all gender locker rooms, and a transwoman in her skiv-vies.
On the 10th day of Xmas, my Dem Rep gave to me
10 years of electrolysis, nine pharma lobbyists, eight cheaters’ trophies, seven teens with breast binders, six double mastectomies, five preg-nant men! Four phalloplasties, no women’s sports teams, two all gender locker rooms and a transwoman in her skivvies.
On the 11th day of Xmas, my Dem Rep gave to me
11 lost scholarships, 10 years of electrolysis, nine pharma lobbyists, eight cheaters' trophies, seven teens with breast binders, six double mastectomies, five preg-nant men! Four phalloplasties, no women's sports teams, two all gender locker rooms and a transwoman in her skiv-vies!
On the 12th day of Xmas my Dem Rep gave to me,
12 preferred pronouns, 11 lost scholarships, 10 years of electrolysis, nine pharma lobbyists, eight cheaters' trophies, seven teens with breast binders, six double mastectomies, five preg-nant ment! Four phalloplasties, no women's sports teams, two all gender locker rooms and a transwoman in her skiv-vies!

'                                              You Can always tell
                                            When His heart is going astray.
                                        You'll losE his compassion when he talks.
                                 You'll notice A hint of guilt in his walk.
                                        The time Together will feel hallow.
                       Your gut will start Eting away at your thoughts.
                       Maybe it's just youR self consciousness showing through.
It's hard to believe that when he Stops replying "I love you".
*-dh

[Infernal Dialectic of Ongoing Struggle]

Spoke Mao Zedong to Kim Jong Ill:
We languish here in deep red hell—
Let us confer and analyze
What factors revolutionize
The contradictions still.

Replied Lil’ Kim: The running dogs
Beguiled by class and capital
Have overdrawn and overspent.
They bank on debt, and make lament
And flounder in their fogs…

Kim chee does stink, but tastes so good
Do have some more, oh comrade Mao.
Fermented cabbage goes so well
With Hennessey and blondes (in hell)
when Juche’s in da hood!

The Fearless Leader (now a shade)
Responded thus: Just give them time.
Our doctrines spread, their God is dead
Their sons shall sing ‘The East is Red’
Our party’s got it made.

Ill Kim displayed a wicked grin:
Our rocket-launches make them fear
They scold and cluck, and then they duck
While Hillary tries to pass the buck
I think we still could win…

The Chairman thought and sipped some fire
in communistic reverie, and feeling very clever, he
Replied to Ill: This place we’ll fill
with dead reactionaries still—
fifth columns to inspire.

Now let the thousand flowers bloom
And let one thousand thoughts contend.
Remember **? Remember ‘Nam?
We triumphed over Uncle Sam—
He’s limping toward his doom.

A wizened ghost now drifted in
Because his name had been proclaimed
A wispy beard (as yet unseared)
Revealed the mastermind once feared:
Old Uncle ** Chi Minh !

** **—old friend! Draw near! Draw near,
Spoke Mao: In solidarity
We hail your work upon the earth
You showed them what a war is worth
You’re always welcome here.

Ill Kim and I were wondering
How best to make the forward leap—
conspiring ******* their cow
and smoke their duck and drain their sow
while they are buying bling.

** Chi, old warrior, why the frown?
Upon your wisdom now we wait.
The forces red you bravely led
You staked your claim until they bled
And brought their nation down.

Old uncle **, the sage revered,
did smolder with his cigarette.
Viet Cong thought is hard to grasp
It slithers like a jungle asp…
** paused and stroked his beard:

You speak without the people’s light!
I criticize in strongest terms
Your revolutionary thought.
We need to ask our friend Pol ***
How best to steer this fight.

Such gradual change, a halfway measure
stalls the Bourgeoisie’s demise.
Our true Khmer Rouge was not a stooge
of Kapital. His fame was huge
for plundering their treasure.

True, he had to purge his nation
such is revolution, gents…
The traitor classes see the masses,
through reactionary  glasses.
Death or re-education!

We ought to sow his rural seed
for pure agrarian reform.
The bodies in the rice can rot
to fertilize the harvest plot—
the people’s mouths to feed.

When Pol *** heard his tactics lauded
he flew in to join the jabber:
Take a tip from Kampuchea!
Listen well and I will teach ya!
Kim and Mao applauded.

City folk are useless eaters
glasses-wearing foes and cheaters!
let them slave – and always save
their corpses for the fertile grave
Until they love their leaders.

From the barrel power grows—
(I don’t mean kim chee barrel, boys).
Now learn my way.We’ll have our say
Their weakened states will wither away.
The Red dictator rose.

Prepared to ramble on for hours
(the way Fidel so loves to do)
Pol ***’s harangue now fired the gang
like rockets falling on Da Nang
emitting sparks in showers.

Hell is known for lack of stasis—
Sudden throes of quaking fire;
fitful flares from from Satan’s lairs
and constant similar affairs
the population faces…

Thus Saint Pol ***, still naming names
along with Mao and Kim-Jong Il
while ** Chi screamed, and then blasphemed
were swept en masse, and unredeemed
into the surging flames.

Yet still they plotted in the blaze
with dialectic deviousness.
Philosophizing, strategizing
stinking sulphur brimstone rising;
ghosts in the yellow haze . . .

        ☭ END ☭

Blinded.
Glaring golden eyes (beam)
serpent -tongues murmur
(slitherrry, sliperryy)
careless mistakes.

Venom drips drop drop
Forked mind (confused)
Bend in, burn out
(flipetty flappetty flop)

Crocodile
tears soon run dry
enemy –turned-friend
(back-stab me)
I’ll bend.

Believe in humanity,
You are not so cool,
In today’s world,
Cheaters’ rule,
When you cheat,
You get applaud,
Want to grow,
Learn skill of doing a fraud,
Threat is the key,
Fear is the word,
Honesty never survives,
This is what I’ve learned,
Grab the power,
Spread the word,
Hunt the flock,
That little tiny bird!
This is the truth,
This is the trend,
You just follow,
To survive my friend!!!

Our lips are so in love
Even our words intertwining
Sign betrayal
Well before our mouths touch.
So come kiss me.
It'd be like talking
But more honest.

Look at her elegance
She draws you close
And with one simple smile
you have lost all hope
She had other intensions
When she let you in
The angel who once
Loved you
Cried tears of blood
You poisoned her
You made her dark
All because of the
Weakness of your mind
And heart.

Believe what you want to believe
there is no temperance or virtue
they will break your heart
they will only hurt you

The pieces of my heart,
weigh me down
and cut me,
Yet,
I ache from the lies you spun
and the time I spent with you.

The next time we meet,
you won't have teeth.

This world is full of liars
Cheaters
Frauds
Trash talkers
No good doers
And people who will hurt you

But with you they don’t even exist, with you I feel my worries wash away

One hundred and thirteen days since my last sip.
And it only took me one day to finally jump ship.
No matter how long I'm sober, nor how much I drink.
Will ever allow me the clarity to see the way that you think.
So here's to relapse, and the misery inbound.
Because girl I'll never stop you from runnin' around.

It may not be too surprising, maybe it is
But the question I field the most in high school
Has nothing to do with calculus, nothing to do with biology
Hell, it doesn’t even have anything to do with colleges
People most want to know if I’m Chinese, Japanese, or Korean

Sometimes, when they think they’re funny
They like to pull their skin back to thin their eyes into slits
And their friends erupt into prepubescent sidekick laughter
And I’d laugh right along
Not because I was a prepubescent sidekick
But because those jokes didn’t bother me
That much

The first person to ask me that was a black kid who maybe stood 6 foot
As a freshman
Wearing his new LeBron jersey with the Miami Heat logo plastered in front
Complete with Air Jordan’s and official NBA socks
He asked me politely with his head bowed
Maybe a bit too low
I think I saw him snicker, but I was too naïve to be sure

Well honestly bro, I know which one I am
But I can’t tell you the difference between the Chinese, the Japanese, or the Koreans
Or in some of your cases, the Chinks, the Japos, and the *****
Cause’ even if I could, it wouldn’t matter
I’ve seen some of you ignorant ******* taste Sushi
and widely proclaim it as the weirdest Chinese **** you have ever tasted
Sushi comes from the Land of The Rising Sun, fyi
And one would think that you Americans would know more about the country
You guys basically nuked 65 years ago

But let me tell you about being Asian
Let me tell you about the ridiculous Asian accents done by ignorant classmates and even friends
Let me tell you about teaching simple words to the curious
Only to discover they’re really just interested in learning foreign swear words
C’mon kids, there’s Google translate for that garbage

Let me express the frustrations and embarrassment when you’re young
and only good at counting thus far
Yet you already speak the English language better than your parents
I used to always insist on leaning over my mother’s lap
So I could holler into the speaker at McDonald’s drive-thru

You guys want to rip me on my own driving too
Well I got styles yo, just like my hair
I got my Tokyo Drift, my Jeremy Lin, my Mario Kart
Or my turn signal on for the last five miles
And once you step into that high school everyone,
and I mean everyone, thinks you’re good at math and
expects you to give out answers in bulk like fortune cookies
You all think that I know the clever tricks
that Asians use for their grade-point-averages
Well, I have a C in AP calc
They say A stands for Asian
Well, does my C stand for, Caucasian?

Did ya’ll know that every year, my Swim team would travel upstate to Pekin High for a meet
And until 1980, they were known as the Chinks
And every time their football team scored a TD, a white kid dressed in Asian gear
Would bang on a gong while some players and fans would bow solemnly?

And when my boy Jeremy was dubbed by your boy LeBron
You guys all laughed and jeered when ESPN was headlined the next day with the phrase
“***** In The Armor”

For a while, I felt a shame for being Asian
I would express my private desires to be White or Black if I had the choice
Drawing the patient lectures from my parents that were admittedly, in poorly spoken English

Even now these so-called friends would still rib me about my ethnicity
This is where colleges come in kids
And yes, I got into a great school
But it is not the purpose of my life to get good grades, good colleges, or
satisfaction from my dad
I only strive to do what you all strive to do
and that makes me as American as you all
So it would be fitting for me to address the jury the way I am about to
Therefore to all you calc cheaters and arrogant good drivers,
to all of the fake friends and prepubescent sidekicks
*******

I'm thankful for God
I'm infinitely blessed
And without Him
I'd have no strength

I'm thankful for my family
They're my pillar in this world
My support system
My purpose

I'm thankful for my dog
I've never known such an unconditional love
My dog is my light
An extension of me

I'm thankful for my friends
The ones that have my back
And tell me the truth
We laugh together, think together
Expanding our minds

I'm thankful for the boy
Who gives me his whole heart
Says I'm his saving grace
He makes me feel worthy
Of the world

I'm thankful for my university
The thing that gives me hope
Makes me feel like I have direction
And a fighting chance in this society

I'm thankful for the mistakes
For they taught me how to grow
And better myself
Be the real me

I'm thankful to those who have wronged me
The liars, players, cheaters, and users
They've shown me what I really deserve
And what not to tolerate

I'm thankful for nature
Where I find peace in solitude
The flowers, the sun, the moon, and stars
They're my guide to faith and positivity

Lastly,
I'm thankful for my poetry
Even though I'm not the best
It's given me a place to express myself
When I had no where else to go

I just want a reason to cry
Maybe that's not it
Maybe it's a reason to die
I felt like I was worthless
All my life
But then you came along
With a brand new light
I followed you around
Like the only thing I knew
But I guess that's alright
Cause the only thing I loved was you
And then the light went away
I was left lost to be found
Isn't that what you did in the first place tho?
When you first came around?
I couldn't see what I was doing
Couldn't see who I was with
It must've been my first last day
The fourth after the fifth
Then my light came back
"Trust me I swear..."
I couldn't see my choices
Like playing truth or dare
Share a part of yourself
And lose that much more
Or take the dare and find out
The pain that's in store
Maybe I should leave
Maybe I should go
Maybe I need you more
The world will never know
But what I know for sure
Is that what you did hurt
And it's the reason I fall
The reason I'm six feet under dirt
So maybe I'll die
Right before your very eyes
The ones that hid all your secrets
All your hate fed lies
But I can't do that now
Because people need me
Unlike you
Who will always leave me

God runs a carnival
With a test of strength
Right by the gate
If you ring the bell,
You get a stuffed animal
And free admission.
Just past the ticket taker,
There on the left,
Is an old carousel
Painted ponies preening,
Careening the children astride
Mirrors by their heads
Flashing the crowd's smiles
As they glide
Forever and ever amen.
The ground is littered with ticket stubs
From a raffle they had earlier,
And despite the crying losers
And the broken boozers
I can't see the person who won.
Just billions of blue ripped ribbons
Carrying call numbers
For the lottery of a life time,
While the rest of us are left
To brave the creaking tilt-a-whirl
Assembled by two clowns out on bail
One roll of duct tape and a promise not to fail
This time.
As the fire eaters and game cheaters
Line the midway
Barking promises of heavenly repose
If only you can hit the elephant's nose
With a jet of water, streaming
Into its beaming mouth,
Grinning despite your loss
Try again, kid.
Better luck next time.
You'll wander into the hall of mirrors
To see your sins grow and bulge
Like the battle that rages
In the pages of your gold-leafed heart
Thin enough to tear
So take care to mend
Your broken ways
Or you'll find yourself
Climbing onto the Ferris wheel
To sit on high
And by God,
You can see your house from here
And down and around
And you're bound to lose your lunch
So you'll pay too much for a bunch of frozen
Fries and to your surprise
Sweet mercy, manna from heaven.
Even though you don't know what it is,
You gobble it up
Because you don't wanna go to hell,
But you have to get the hell away from that bell
Ringing and ringing over and over
Chiming in time to the line that winds
Out through the dark parking lot,
Every winner another sinner
Washed clean by the lamb
And *******
A petting zoo
Never felt so good.
If you ring that bell,
You won't go to hell,
But you won't go to heaven either.
Oh no.
You'll go to work
Tearing tickets 'til you're sick of it,
Bending mirrors in the fun house
To split and bounce
And reflect onto the patron
That part of your heart
Too broken to pump,
Running the tilt-a-whirl with a burly
Bouncer who got up early
To **** his wife
And this ain't a life sentence,
Baby, it's eternity.
I guess that's what you get
For trusting a ******' carnie.

I have come to succumb to a certain cliché, a cache of questions that so often seem to scuff the dance floor of adultolescents. “Who am I?” of course, a major inquiry but more importantly, “Who do I want to be?” and what am I becoming and when I become it, will it become me or will I not even want it…like a portrait of my mother…tattooed to my ***, her dear old face like some wretched rash (truly I’m not that crass). So I am scared of tomorrow and uncertain of now but everything used to be fine, so allow me to go back just a bit, to when I was, say about… FIVE.

I remember reclining on my grandmother’s couch in Hoboken, New Jersey watching star wars, I believe it was episode FIVE. Her apartment smelt of ***** and rice and beans and that reek of regret that rises from the corpses of broken dreams, and I can still see the light from the T.V. screen illuminating every corner of her living room, from the bookshelf, to the door with the welcome mat--an ironic greeter--to the picture of Jesus perched over the heater smiling down on and blessing the liars and cheaters who so often filled that room with soiled consciences and beaters. So there I was, I was FIVE, and I can clearly recall what I wanted to be, who I wanted to be in that moment: A Jedi! Oh it was a long time ago and it was far, far away, but I can still see the look on my grandmother’s face as I raced through space with my light saber broom beating Sith with a stick, protecting the room from Vader’s invaders making storm trooper stew, my weapon—my whisk; my rivals—my roux; the force—the flames, to boil the brew and the voice of my father at forty FIVE years of age telling me to quit messing around. And I said with a wave of my hand, “No, you quit messing around.” He said, “Why don’t you be a Firefighter?” I said, “no!”  “Why not a football player?” I said, “no!” “Jedi’s can’t marry. Jedi’s get lonely.” I said, “I want to be a Jedi and a Jedi only!” But like fire and fog and old Ben Kenobi, ideas like this must eventually fade.

So I grew to, I’d say about ten years old, that’s FIVE plus FIVE moving on to grade FIVE. Picture, if you will, me—the shortest kid on the little league baseball team, with grand aspirations; huge heaps of vivacity, and a strike zone too small for those poor umpires to see and I knew—I KNEW who I wanted to be: A baseball player! And an actor. A writer, crime fighter—the Jack Bower type who’s always in danger—a **** Tracy with *****; a heterosexual power ranger. Oh and an astronaut chef with a part time job as a rapper who talks about ******* and death and riches and **** holding the mic in my right and my junk in my left a protection of the kids in the crowd who might see my ******* brought about due to... back up dancers. Oh, and the president of the United States as well.

Now let’s jump to fifteen, that’s FIVE plus FIVE plus FIVE, I was a freshman in high school and still a freshman in life. But neither of these were important you see, and I rather gave up on the prospect of “me.” I traded my goals for an xbox which came with a discounted dose of apathy. ‘Cause high school is brimming with a bizarre batch of habits. When forced to attend one must endure or adapt it’s those tactless tactics those impractical practices; each pupil’s polluted with perturbing antics. So for much of that year I stayed home ignoring the mornings who tried to tell me I was alive and forgetting the spinning of the earth in its lonely slow dance to the daily tune of nine to FIVE.

I did outgrow that depressing stage. And now, here I am pushing twenty. That’s FIVE plus FIVE plus FIVE plus…it’s hard to believe but believe it I must. But these fingers that wipe away tears when I cry and fight, call for peace, encourage, deride, make decisions, rock hard, and swat away flies, shake hands, ask questions, and give high FIVES are so ******* familiar. So you see, I have put a great deal of thought into this and I think what I want to be is… FIVE.

Don’t you remember? When wherever you lived was the tip of the world, every rock you found was a glimmering pearl, and every face pointed at you grinned with jealous geniality. When Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, Jesus Christ, and easy money all had proper places in reality. When bunk beds were marvels standing miles from the floor and the little things were the greatest things on earth, and “stupid” was a swear word, each trip was an adventure, and every pocket was a candy cluttered purse. Grass was green not “getting too long to maintain” and skies were blue not “looking like they might bring rain” There was no need to feign a demeanor, there were no chains. You were unbound. And pain was a temporary hiatus from satisfaction…not the other way around. Everyone loved you, whether they loved you or not. No one judged you for your blindingly ignorant smile. You were pancakes and balloons and Saturday morning cartoons and guilt-free, care-free love—you were a child.

I don’t want to go back to that time in my life. I have no desire to swap my mind for comfortable bliss. What I want is to close my eyes for just FIVE seconds and when I open them again, the world will be new.

These Days I MUST CONFESS …  
It's Hard To Deal With STRESS … !!!!!
Cos' MANY Try To … TEST …  
Because They LACK Good Sense … !!!
  
Like Knowing When They SHOULDN'T Speak … !!!
Because My Silence Means That I'm Counting To ... THREE ... !!!
  
Instead of … Reaching For A PIECE ... !!!
That Signifies THAT I Want To SEE …  
You Lying FLAT UNABLE To … "Breathe" … !!!!!
  
A Test That's … REAL … !!!!!
So How Would … YOU FEEL … ?!?
If You Were TOLD To … " Go Back Home " … !!!
  
When Your Home Is A Place Where Your Black Face ...
Is Taken For A THREAT … EVERY Single Day … !?!  
Or Taken For A Joke ... As Mine Was Today …  
  
Would You … " Play It Cool " … ?
Like The …... Uncle Toms' Do …... !?!
  
Or Would You Choose To Take Abuse … !?!?!
From Some White FOOL Whose Moves Are CRUDE … !!!
  
Like Selling Coc' To Mis-Guided Youth … !!!
The Type of White Bloke Who Thinks He's SMOOTH …
  
I Know A Few Brothers Who Showed THIS SUCKER … !!!
What It Is To Be STRESSED ...
And Face The TEST of Being DISTRESSED ... !!!!!  
  
He DIDN'T Fare Well Like MANY Nowadays … !!!
Cos' STRESS Now SWELLS In DIFFERENT Ways …  
  
From ... VIOLENT Crime To Financial Plights ...
That Leave Wise Guys Feeling NOT SO WISE … !!!
When Investments Made DON'T Make The Grade … !!!
  
That's A Test THEY FAILED Like The ... " HOLY GRAIL " ... !!!
Because … ONLY WISE Heads In The End PREVAIL … !!!!!
  
All That GLITTERS … May Mean JAIL … !!!
Gary NOW KNOWS That Going Gold …  
DOESN'T Save Your Soul Or Provide BAIL … !!!!
  
TOO MANY YOUNG BLACKS KNOW How That Goes … !!!!!
  
DNA Tests Are Causing STRESS … !!!
And Giving Some Heads ... Quite A COMPLEX … !!!!!!
  
... "It's for defence !" ...
  
Is What Is Said ...
Just Like The Wars On ... FOREIGN Shores … ?!?
  
Some Peeps Still Believe That Soldiers Fought …
For …. " Freedom of Speech " …. ?!?
  
Freedoms ORDAINED ...
For Peeps' Like … " ME " … !?!
  
To Feed Young Brains With Poetry ...  
That Speaks About … " REALITY " ...
  
Well REALITY TESTS Weak Hearted Men … !!!!!!
  
Like The One Mentioned ... In THIS Poem … !!!!!!!!!
Him And His Friends Are ALL … " Coc' Heads " ... !!!!!
  
Freedom For Them …  
Is Something SHOWERED In CHEMICAL Powder ... !!!!!  
  
Freedom For Me AIN'T So EASY ... !!!

Because My Speech Does NOT Agree With Coc' Head Sheep ...
Who Crawl And Creep Because They're WEAK ... !!!!!
  
They Try To CHEAT … REALITY  ... ?!?!?
  
But CHEATERS NEVER PASS …
They FAIL BEFORE They Start … !!!
  
Stress Has Marked The Card ...
of Those CLAIMING They're SMART …  
  
Cos' Smart Mouths Talk Before Their FALL ... !!!
... REAL HARD Fa Sure … !!!!!!!!!!
  
" So that's why they snort !?!?!? "
  
So That Their Nose Doesn't Feel The Blow …
When They Fall Short of … STANDING TALL ... !!!!!
  
Standing UP To The Test of Dealing With STRESS …  
These Days It's TOUGH Cos' Things Are ROUGH ...
  
So What Do You Use To Get You Through … ?!?
  
Well Some Resort As I Said Before …  
To Having A SNORT ...
Behind Toilet Doors To Ease Their Cause … ?!?
  
Others' CHOOSE To HURL ABUSE … !!!
Because Their Views Leave Them Confused … ?!?
  
Of Course There Are THOSE Who Resort To BLOWS …
Which ... Just Goes To Show ...
How STRESS Can Lead You Down DARK ROADS … !!!
  
These Days I Write To EASE My Mind …  
And EASE My Stress When I Get TENSE ... !!!!!
  
Because IGNORANT Heads Breed VIOLENCE ... !!!!!!!
Peace Is The Vibe With Which I Ride … !!!
  
But Let Me Just STRESS That Self Defence …  
Is Where My Calmness Meets It's END … !!!!!!!!
  
You See It Wouldn't Be Wise To Make Me FIGHT … !!!
Cos' I'm A Peaceful Guy But When You LOOK IN MY EYES …  
You Should REALISE … I'm NOT Scared To DIE … !!!!!
  
You See …  
STRESS Is A TEST That Is COMPLEX ... !!!  
And Can Be HARD ... For Us ALL To PASS … !!!!!
  
In Times Like These We NEED TO Feed ...
Our Minds With MORE ...
Than Talk of WAR And Crossing Swords ... !!!

... " Agree to Disagree " … !!!
  
Or Just … " DON'T SPEAK " … !!!!!
  
Use Violence LESS And KEEP A COOL HEAD … !!!
And You'll Have A …  " STRONG DEFENCE " … !!!
  
Against ….
  
...... " The Test of Stress " ......

Joy and hope were my leaders



I can not quite fathom why God seems to let the cheaters



Win the fight



Where's my night?



My rest?



My heart feels like it's jumping out of my chest



My dreadful hearts purpose is not to pump blood through my veins



My gulled hearts only purpose is to bring me pain



You ask who my leaders are?



Well, the same as the cheaters



Lying and melancholy are my teachers

the only lines that are blurred are the ones that you're crossing
close your ***** lips, time for us girls to do the talking
you say you want a good girl
and the alcohol is your weapon
Acting like an animal
but self respect is my blessing
yes I got the power of resistance
as soon as you grab me, I've made my decision
keep ya distance
I've got my own pride
girls by my side
run together like felines
I dont want
and I don't need to be domesticated
if I say no you feel emasculated,
but I'm not your wifey
I'm not your mid life crisis
much more than plastic, my love is priceless

you’re quick to assume my dimensions
but the desire is 1 sided
my potential can’t be contained
by someone so small minded
i’m not going to lie,
there are times i did sing along
but there was always a part of me
that knew that it was wrong
degrading myself through the words in this song
i’m my own savior, dancing on my own
keep your striped pants away from me
and your fancy cologne
never impressed me anyways
cuz who’s gonna want you
when you’re long past your glory days
maybe you’ll actually have to start
remembering her name

if incoherence is a turn on
you can leave with whatever you got from Jamaica
you write a song talkin bout liberating me
read between the lines, verbally date ****** me
talkin bout gettin blasted, blurring judgement slurring words
you've supplied enough nastiness for the night, you don't need help from the girls
this song glamorized by the women it defeats
it doesn't count as seduction when you're invading our sheets
don't belittle me when your restraint is as small as your comprehension
I never said wanted you so drop the pretension
I don't wanna get nasty, I wanna get away
good looks and a catchy chorus doesn't make misogyny okay

I heard this song on the radio about 5 times a day
the world couldn't stay away
never listening to the words
singing along with no shame
maybe it's empowering to the girls that sing along
in the heat of the moment it doesn't feel wrong
but you're 100x classier than words in this song
worth so much more than ***** sheets
you wanna feel loved, so you slip into a dress and he slips into your drink
this is all a release, but you don't have to be the dizzy slam piece
just remember who you are
and what the world is saying
growing up,
they wanna invade your innocence
take your impressionable mind for granted
*** on the radio
violence on the tv
models in the magazine
but you're gonna have to tune it out
live on your own
live for yourself,
remember what your mama told you
keep your chin up because they're gonna try to break you

what rhymes with hug me
babe, you could never love me
cuz first you gotta respect me
accept no because maybe she’s just not ready
i’m not a piece of meat
you get to use, abuse
for your own personal grinder
be the one by her side
not the one lurking behind her
music is power
you’re adding fuel to the fire
women in music nowadays
yeah, we’re the survivors
against the cheaters and the liars
contributing to a mindset holding us back
so we gotta rise up keep
their pants up, and their minds on track
sincerely, every blurred line that never went back

This trail leads to the animal crossing
It fails to accommodate intrepid adventurers,
Bushy tailed explorers, mountain climbers,
Talkers to squirrels and chewers of pine pitch.
The divine medicine denies us the headspace to believe we're really dead,
The reclined estrogen felt good against twenty million years of insecurity
Golden-layered, factually flawed
It lay exposed for decades
Rusting innards and misfiring sparks
None of the heavy equipment does what it says
Robot arms move with intensity
No programmer yet programs tenderness
The limiting factor has always attracted the acting crowd
Always desperate for theatrical work they magically appear
When it's clear that they're needed
But heed the warnings, they're known to be cheaters; the people who say so could also be wife-beaters
No need to wait for a stereotype
Follow the one you haven't lost touch with