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Kevin Seiler Dec 2017
I would douse every memory of you in gasoline.

I would torch every photo, every tangible item that reminds me of you.

I would curse your name, choking as my lungs filled with acrid smoke.

I would burn this place to the ground.

I would die amongst the flames along with our love. Just to haunt the ashes of what once was.

I would do this.....if I thought it would mean a ******* thing to you.
Kevin Seiler Oct 2016
Look at you, growing so fast.
I would not actually know though.
Because our time together only one day, did it last.

I know you're happy, with your mom, and your dad.
I hope that you get everything you wish for.
They were really great people so I'm sure it can't be bad.

One day, if you find me, I'll explain to you why.
Why you were given away, the day you were born.
Now, 5 years later, I sit on my tailgate and cry.
I think about all the days since, that have passed me by.
But I know it's for the better, for you and for I.
Happy Birthday Son, I'll always love you.
Kevin Seiler Oct 2016
Heart pounding
Hands shaking
Blood boiling
Eyes bloodshot
Adrenaline rush

The greatest high.
Was going to crash, in glorious fashion

Did I know then?
That I was headed for a dead end.
A piece from the future to myself in this moment
Kevin Seiler Oct 2016
The coffee is strong this morning
The sun   shines through the blinds, blinding
They're both telling me to get up and do something today
But I can't work, so I'm just staring at a sun-glared screen
Wishing I had someone to share the morning with
Maybe they wouldn't mind the bold coffee
Maybe they could stand in front of the blinds
Kevin Seiler Oct 2016
One hundred and thirteen days since my last sip.
And it only took me one day to finally jump ship.
No matter how long I'm sober, nor how much I drink.
Will ever allow me the clarity to see the way that you think.
So here's to relapse, and the misery inbound.
Because no matter what girl I'll never stop you from runnin' around.
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