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mt Feb 2018
i want to be able to see my heart in word-form, all of its callouses and scars spelled out in strings of the alphabet
i want words to flow off of my fingertips like the drippings of water droplets into a sink from a faucet closed only half way
yet i've found that the four-letter word i've been feeling
can only be expressed as it is
numb
i want to be able to express myself but i feel as though i have nothing to express anymore
Jaycee Apr 2015
It's burning my insides.
Turning around my life.
I'm crying now every night.
Denying that we're right.
Please tell me you need me tonight.
This ****** isn't leaving me anytime.
carminayasmin Apr 2018
I listen to them as they mouth your name;
and I see
how deluded,
how hypnotic,
how enchanted and consumed
they talk of your ways and,
how the stars in their pupils beam with a radiance of such pure awe.
Your words hang loose off the tops of their tounges and their lips drool in your glaze.
Your lazy features,  your so electric but so infuriating charm -
sends them mindless, locks them in your illusion.


So it’s then

I try to burn every
sheet of paper which ink prints your presence,
inside these desperate  shelves which fold upon each heartstring.

My ears attempt to block it out.
Instead they replay every song
that has ever left your lips.
And my eyes deceive me as they scatter
a particle of you on every surface of life I encounter.

My mind echoes every laugh you created in my streams.

Then I paint every colour you ever erupted within me,
in thick black.

As they mouth your name,
every trace of you with anyone but me,
causes my hands to pull through my gut,
and hammer down any of these ******* deceptive daydreams
that you have me  trapped me in.

And then so easily, one by one,
debris of my heart crumble like rain
down your window,
down each vein.
1 March 17:03
look at them all
em Jun 2015
I know the face
inside every car that
passes my bedroom window.

Why do I feel so ****



lonely?





I'm surrounded by these faces
of people who I have known since
pre-school.
Yet I don't think they have ever met me.

I am a piece of shrapnel,
pulled from the angry fist of an angel,
who spent a lot of her time watching cars crash.
Wondering what we've made of creation.
but the metalworker feel asleep.
before he could finish making
me into something,
beautiful.

And when he woke up it was too late.
I can't change.
I hardened perfectly into that mold
the one that society said would look good on me.
So those people took one look at me and then
cut out their eyes.
No longer able to see what else
I might have inside.



So I live in the dark.
The girl who I am when I am alone
is not ready to be seen from the road.

She's not strong.
She's not ready,
not ready to explain the light
streaming from the windows
of the big white house around the corner from
school and the ice cream place.

Maybe she's to afraid that her light,
isn't really there, just something made up,
to give her hope that she has something,
to help her escape this
town.

But maybe she's afraid that her light...
will be too much of a surprise for those
drivers drunk on dreams.
Because being herself,
shouldn't end with
angry angles.
gn, just some things that needed to be written down before i hit the hay. Its still a little rough so feel free to leave feedback :) AHHHHHH I HAVE MY POETRY SLAM TOMORROW AND **** AM I SCARED
cait-cait Oct 2018
i.

i told my mother the other day that i
have decided to be kind,
to love those
who love me (for no good reason)....

and because of, i want to take you in my arms
and hold you so tight
that the world cannot get in.
.

ii.

you are dressed in white, like
an angel, and
when you sleep, you murmur and
when
i watch, you smile
instead of howling, and i wish

that you were that peaceful when
awake.

iii.

you are growing up, and i
watch the way you forsake your mother
and i watch the way
you puff up your chest with lies and then
cower when you see me ....

you are not innocent anymore, and i cannot
hold you to as such when
you hide behind a hood of your parents
protection.

iv.

your brother does not love me anymore,
and frankly, i do not care.

but you cannot see the stab wound, so
still, i am angry.

v.

i don’t think she loves her best friend anymore,
i don’t think she even loves me.

but how can you tell someone to cut a
piece of themselves off when
you won’t do it for them?

when you don’t even have the right.

vi.

i read a poem today, it was about war
and it was about foxes,
and
i thought of you again...
my fox,

you are a violence...
and a lover.

and when i remembered how you cut me,
i remembered why i have to cherish what i have.
this year, i met a girl who i didnt really like (for no reason), and the other day she overheard me telling my friend that i felt like everyone hated me. she looked at me and said "i like you." and i decided that i always need to appreciate the friends i have even if it feels like i dont have them.
cait-cait Sep 2018
you’re a sick, sick person
my little,
                old
love.

with eyes like ferocious , angry
beetles, you
chew into me and cut out
tiny,
        stinging
                       holes.

if only you knew i wasn’t invincible,
if only you knew
                              you were toxic.

the cement is wet when you bash my head
open,
and
the cement is still wet when it
rains.
my mom said "who cares what they think. theyll never understand it, and you dont have to say this part out loud, but things are different now."
Rhesus Monkey Aug 2017
I looked at her, beautiful and powerful
In the light of the fire and she said
"Leave one wolf alive,
And the sheep are never safe."


-j
To mandie. (Sorry for stealing your title, rose)
Day Sep 2017
Word go around
so easy to say
actions have been found
to surely display
who we are inside.
after a while
no way to hide

because sorry can be said
but actions can always be read

as easy as sorry is to say,
soon it will be just as easy to walk away
you ask me if im mad? no im not mad. im ******* ******.
Lady Elle May 2013
all love lost
in a single moment
on a misused bed
she asks why
he's too angry to reply
and now she wanders
Lost and Forgotten
why?
i don't know
it's just how it goes
when there are too many
Little Girls and very, very Angry Men
2013 Copyright.
Day Jan 2017
11 days, I spent in grey hospital socks
wandering halls bare, not even clocks
17 girls, all torn and broken inside
opened our wrists, drank cyanide
"behavior heath", but we knew was psych
held wandering souls, all pale and ghostlike
sat in a circle, we shared and we cried
of times we stole, drank, smoked and lied
stories of ****, abuse and pain
somehow all one and the same
different faces and different lives
but most chose to end it with knives
but failure brought us all to this place
to learn a new name, gain a new face
fed us some pills and watched how we'd do
if we'd scream and suddenly turn blue
but only a few continued to fall
and theirs are the saddest stories of all
my heart broke each night as I sat and heard
one of the girls minds became blurred
still even now, I shed a tear
for every lost soul, that we never hear
Recently went to an intensive inpatient behavior health center after a major panic attack and breakdown. I was suicidal and was diagnosed with major depression. This experience, really changed me and opened my mind so much. More to come . I give thanks for this site for giving me a positive way to cope. You all are amazing. <3
frankie Jul 2018
How deep were we in?
Restrained by chains that burn our skin
Car headlights, a hush falls over
Shines through the window, time feels slower
I hope he knows that we care
He grabbed him, dragged him by his hair
Cry, scream, or maybe not
Could have done anything, but we couldn't make him stop
Lucid Sep 2014
i need you to hold me in your arms and let me cry
without asking questions, without wondering why
just hold my trembling body as my demons drip from my eyes
The meaning of true is false
blinded by brainwash and ignorance
reminds me of the ways you made me repulse
masked by a thing of brilliance
I hope you see what you need
It's me
I see it in the way you can deceive
God, your naive
I don't mean to rhyme
but I thought it was time
to put you in a place I've been for years
Lonely, disgusted back to the tears
You were divine
Made me be blind  
best friend, not
who would have thought
That I would be writing this thinking of you
But no none of this is new
should've seen this new present
hot flash, think back, and make me resent
But now we're though
Don't you see the meaning of false is always true
I wrote this about someone who i thought defined forever
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