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Anastasia Sep 18
if i could go back
and hold your little hands
and kiss your forehead
and watch over you
then nothing bad would have ever happened to you
if i could go back
and play games with you
and pick you up off ground
and scare them away
then you would never would have been afraid again
if i could go back
and kiss your bruises
and bare my teeth
and wind up my first
then they never would have hurt you again
Anastasia Sep 17
I hate when I make you cry
But *******, do your words hurt
I want to hold your tears in my arms and turn them into smiles
Shove them back into your estranged face
Maybe it will make a difference this time
You're not who you used to be
Am I still allowed to love you?
Can I still hold you with my words
Because my arms are not enough?
Hearts carved into my corneas weep with the thought of you
My fingers curl into twisted willows
Affection turns to concern
When your palms turn to fists
Will you forgive yourself?
Will you forgive me?
I don't want to go
I don't want to turn into a memory
I want to be a future
Maybe someday when you finally learn to love
To love the chasm of beauty of sadness that you are
I can drop more love letters into your darkness
Petals and whispers and poetry
Drift into your emptiness until they light aflame at the very bottom
If I could see it from your perspective
If I could feel the pain that wracks your body late at night
The pain that tastes suspiciously like tears
Maybe then we could truly understand each other
I wish my pretty words could heal you
I wish on every star I see
It's juvenile, but a part of me always hopes
I wish I could take all my love and crush it up into a little ball and shove it down your throat and never feel it again
Anastasia Aug 15
Talking next to you for hours
Turning cigarettes into flowers
Listening to the cricket's song
Can't sleep, awake all night long
Thinking of your, your voice, your heart
Being away from you tore me apart
Dancing by the lake
Moon's reflections shattered
Darling, I will wait,
You are all that matters
Found a plastic bag,
filled it up with violets
Listen to the sound
Of forgetting the violence
And store lights
Wandering with you
Darling how
I wish I knew
What I mean to you
I guess I'm just not good enough
Anastasia Jul 5
In a flash of silent thunder
You appeared like an angel
The rain wetting your hair
Sticking to your face
Your wings were made of light
Void of liquid
No feathers to be matted by precipitation
You cast upon me your gentle gaze of stone like jade
Your white gown was weighed down by nothing but water from the clouds
There was no sun to brighten the planet
You lit up the entire earth by simply being
My heart falters as I think back to that moment
You fell to the ground, wings dimming as the moon rose
I had fallen to my knees
In awe of the beauty of dying seraphim
Tears mingled with the sobbing of the sky
I didn't dare to come any closer
But I could hear your sweet words
Poetry sang in my ears
Love songs told stories of a life I would never know
Until that point
I had thought I understood what it meant to live
But I could never truly live
Nor could I understand
  Nov 2022 Anastasia
oak roots dream
under soft snow
black bear purrs
in her den
the buck chase ends
i'll just rest my legs...
white pine sways
mighty sleepwalker
goodnight! goodnight!
calls the westward sun
that dream, that dream
echoes, dances
chasing its tail
green aurora
watches over us all
Anastasia Nov 2022
And there she was
A rough scab on a smooth perfect knee
With a chalky cigarette between bony fingers
Chipped red painted nails
Matching crimson accenting glossy white walls
She knew she was dreaming
Because of the ****** sun in the middle of the room
Chapped lips crack with scarlet, staining teeth
Surgical gloves reaching out from her beating heart
Held in by pale marked skin
Needles pricking gums, calling upon beads of ruby
Incisors and canines fall out one by one
Heavy tongue tastes gory wine
Indifference and apathy sistering one another
Stitches hold right-handed fingers in permanent crosses
Though an opal ring falls through
The shattering crystal lights the room ablaze
Intangible flames lick the ceiling as it rises and the floor sinks
An ever-expanding room flashing over and over in endless continuity
Like a repeating reel of film catching on fire
And then she was gone
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