I ***** walls; you keep tearing them down
Determined to break through my sturdy fence
I put barricades around my heart for a reason
You are slowly whittling away my careful defense

where he closes a door he opens a window
or so i am told
for every door closes, slams shut behind me
and turns into a wall

every wall solid, brick, concrete
impenetrable and grey
no cracks, nowhere to slip through and escape
i run my hands along the walls, feeling for a flaw
i find nothing but scraped palms

i hear voices on the other side
i hear people talking, praying

every voice muffled, muted, hushed
indistinguishable and grey
no words, nothing to slip through and help me understand
i scream and scratch against the walls hoping to be heard
i find nothing but raw psalms

i feel around for anything
a hammer, a chisel, a light switch
something to save me

but all i find are things i've thrown
plates, pillows, a shattered phone

the walls are closing in around me
they think i don't know that they're moving in each night
but i taste the closeness of the air each morning
and i know i don't have much time left

i don't have much time left

pure of heart - that's what they tell me
"you're too pure of heart"
"you'll get hurt too easy"

should i put up some walls?
would that protect me?
or should i continue on

caring -
about people who don't care for themselves
about people who don't care for me

loving -
people who don't love themselves
people who don't love me

i could put up some walls
i could adopt apathy

but then

i would just be

someone who doesn't love for others
someone who doesn't care for me

i'm afraid your ride has ended here,
do not bother to try to travel further,
i can't let you closer,
it only get colder,
i can't get any bolder,

i swear i tried,
the thought of letting you in anymore,
it sends shivers down my spine,
i would love to-
but i can't,
this reflex can't be stopped,

don't you ever wonder what people are whispering?
the way they grin,
what if it is all fake?
what if they aren't real?
**what if they are using me?

The ****** walls of the room,
Were the brightest of them all.

Breathe in and slowly out,
Were the whispers outside the walls.

Never eyes to eye with the devil,
Always glue them to the floor.

Do as you’re told,
Was the sweet simple rule.

No back talks or loose tounges,
He knew how to deal with them all.

Never eyes to eye with the devil,
Always glue them to the floor.

Sweet lullaby from the hall,
Was the only soothing sound through the walls.

Never speak nor move,
Oh dear, how simple were the rules.

The ****** walls of the room,
Were the brightest of them all.******

There are several people who have always belonged with me,
which ones do really know who I am?

There are multiple universes hidden inside of me,
which ones could you explore?

There are a hundred different layers cloaked beneath my skin,
which ones are you aware of?

There are many masks that I use daily to conceal,
which ones did you see me wearing?

There are a lot of high walls surrounding my heart every moment,
which ones did I let you breakthrough?

There are numerous stories stashed up in my head,
which ones did I tell you about last night?

There's a cat living in my head
and he's redecorating.
Clawing at the sides of my skull,
tearing down the wall paper that was there.
But he doesn't seem fond of putting up something new,
just wants to leave the gouges so the pain can seep through.

He doesn't travel far.
To the back and then the front again,
but he never strays to the left.
He hugs the right wall of my head
like he'll die if he tries to leave
Just digging new trenches as he goes

When he feels really inspired
he gets a hammer and
BANG
BANG
BANG
new places that throb and throb for hours
never leaving me at peace
but he's happy with what he's created

I've been told there's a piece of metal I can get
to lock him out, keep him out, and throw away the key
some people say it worked for them and I'm just hoping
that it also works for me