I am not going to be anything like you.

I am not going to reach the age of 40 while miserable and full of regrets nor am i going to settle for a life that I know I don’t deserve.

I am not going to sit back and hope that my dreams come true nor am I going to quit on my dreams just because they seem so far out of reach.

I am not going to settle for a marriage and a guy that I don’t deserve.

I’m not going to base my life choices on what society tells me I can or can’t choose. I am not going to live my life just to please people that will only turn their backs after the first mistake.

I am not going to rely on people so much to the point where I must tolerate the unimaginable. I am not going to shy away, close my mouth and turn away from injustice just to fit in. I’m not going to let the norms of this society design my life.

I AM NOT GOING TO BE LIKE YOU.

I am gonna do everything in my power to design my life on my own terms and live as regret free as possible. I am going to listen to that “stupid” voice in my head and do every stupid thing it tells me to do. I’m gonna make sure that I don’t settle for anything that I know I don’t deserve.  

I’m gonna build and design the life of my dreams even though it feels like out of reach at this moment. I’m gonna marry a guy who loves and respects me and knows what he has. I’m gonna marry a guy who will willingly drop it all just to get a glimpse of my soul.

I’m gonna marry a guy who will cancel the plans and travel miles just for an hour of my company. I’m gonna marry a guy who not only respects me but also my fellow women and humans on this earth.

I’m gonna rebel against unjust rules of society so that my seeds will never have to deal with the **** that I deal with on daily bases.

I’m gonna rewire my brain and fill it with beneficial information and clear it of all the ******* it was filled with since birth. I’m gonna fight against injustice and unfairness and for a just society till my soul moves to a higher extensity.

I’m gonna build and live the dream no matter how many times I’m beat down for it. I’m gonna make sure that I don’t rely on any human to fulfill my dreams and desires.

I’m gonna make it to where they say I can’t reach. I’m gonna breaks through all the walls and obstacles thrown in my way. I’m gonna make sure to be someone that I and my future seeds can be proud of.

AND MAYBE EVEN SOMEONE YOU CAN BE PROUD OF.

Someone you can look at and not be disappointed. Someone you can be proud of for doing everything you weren’t able or allowed to do.

I’m gonna be everything I can be in this world and that’s thanks to you.

Thanks to you for making sure that I had the opportunities that you didn’t have growing up. Making sure that I had the freedom to be any and everything.

I’M NOT GONNA BE LIKE YOU. I’M GONNA BE THE DAUGHTER YOU RAISED ME TO BE.

The ****** walls of the room,
Were the brightest of them all.

Breathe in and slowly out,
Were the whispers outside the walls.

Never eyes to eye with the devil,
Always glue them to the floor.

Do as you’re told,
Was the sweet simple rule.

No back talks or loose tounges,
He knew how to deal with them all.

Never eyes to eye with the devil,
Always glue them to the floor.

Sweet lullaby from the hall,
Was the only soothing sound through the walls.

Never speak nor move,
Oh dear, how simple were the rules.

The ****** walls of the room,
Were the brightest of them all.******

Gloomy as the weather was my heart,
Alone was the cry of my soul.

Winter comes and goes,
But still was the heart cold and alone.

Smile was the first thought,
But cry was the truth.

Filled with negative self talk,
Oh soul, why so depressed?!

Deep thoughts and big dreams with no action,
What’s the purpose of it all?!

Handsome boys and coffee talks,
Haven’t we heard this story before?!

Winters come and go,
But still is the heart cold and alone.