What's a best friend?
I hope one day I know the meaning of what a “best friend” is suppose to be.

One who won’t constantly scrutinize me.

One who will laugh with me and not at me.

One who will listen instead of interrupt.

*

Who will encourage me to do my best, because they have faith in what I can do. 

And it’s a shame that I thought it’d be you. 
You’re not right in your heart, and for that we should be apart. 

Until you stop putting others down and turn your life around, I will be absent.

I could never speak to you and have your full understanding. 

You have your herd of sheep, but I chose to stand up and create my own life to lead.

I’ve encouraged you before, but instead you choose to stay tied down to your bedroom floor.

It hurts to say “I love you” 
because now I will be without you, 

But it’s better to avoid making more of a mess and time to lay this “friendship” to rest. 

I wish you nothing but the best.

I had a customer at work today
with a tattoo across her chest
that said "Royalty" with a little
jeweled crown hanging off the "R."
She wanted a pack of cigarettes.
She didn't ask, she demanded.
She didn't say "please."
I gave her the cigarettes.
She didn't say "thanks."
I asked how her day was going,
and she said "good."
She didn't ask how my day was.
At first I thought a girl like that
isn't royal at all.
But, the more I thought, the more
I realized that she was.
Because royalty doesn't ask,
it demands.
Royalty is above saying "thanks."
Royalty doesn't mingle with
gas station clerks.
Regardless, I muttered "*****"
under my breath as she walked away.

When's the last time you had sweets?
Colorful
And cold
And teeth rotting material,

When's the last time you had me?

The actual me,

Because I've known you for years,
And you've never known the real me.
Around you i'm quiet,
I'm kind
I'm never kind
And that isn't me,
I can't even be sarcastic
But I'm always overdramatic.

You're friends,
With the person I no longer am,
Not that you took anytime to get to know me but,


When I start to act
Like my actual self.

If you don't like that person,


You can give up, sugar.

Who understands the frustrations of using spell check on the phone?
Me I do.

My smart phone isn't very smart,
it types words that I would never use.

Some people are very rude,
they judge me because of a typo.
Hahaha!

I think that some people are just
too judgemental
to allow such a thing to go
without giving demeaning criticism.

It's not fair because it's not my fault the phone is programmed to work the way it does.

How I am the error or the stupid one
if I have tried to change the spelling yet the phone still types for me?

Sometimes it works and has a beautiful sway,
other times it choaks my poetic flow
goes the other way.  

But there's no call for rude comments,
what did I do to you?
It must be your personal issues,
has nothing to do with me.

There only typos,
they won't bite you
or cause you cancer.

You don't have to stop by my space and throw it in my face.

You are a childish person to think
it was okay.
Also I am disabled
and I have learned to love my mistakes.

Why don't you try being autistic and suffer from a movement disorder on top of muscle dystrophy?
You think it's easy for me? Hahaha

I am proud to say "yes I make spelling errors like everyone else does once in a awhile."

I bet you started out with horrible spelling,
you had to because you had to learn just like the rest of us.

You are no different than anyone else.
I hope you feel better about yourself someday.

I wish you the best.
Maybe you need a hug.*

*© By Amanda Shelton

(Yeah)
It seems I had to go and write
Untitled part two
Just to express
How much I hate you
Shouldn't have got that tattoo
The one that everybody
told me not to
Yep shouldn't have gotten
Your name Inked into my skin
That was a mistake
That shouldn't have been
But it seems
I was too stubborn to listen
Said I wouldn't be
another one of your victims

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was ****** in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe that you could hurt me.

Remember the time
You said that you'd be mine
So I left the girl
I could have been with
Just to get stabbed in the back
By you, never thought,
you could get so cruel.
You selfish *****
You left me to rot in a ditch
Broken hearted.
Goodbye dearly departed
Nah you are freaking *******
Do you think I'll let you
walk away, that easily?
I want you to feel
Everything you did to me
Like Remember when you said
That you loved me
You said it so convincingly
And did it so consistently
Only to **** me emotionally
and make it hurt physically
When your words hit
They hit like a brick
I shouldn't have sat
and taken it silently
I should have retaliated violently

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was ****** in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

Oh here it comes
Said I'd be your guardian angel
But now I hope you burn in hell
For leaving me to burn in the flames
To drown in your little love game
Yeah said I'd rise from the ashes
A Phoenix of vengeance
I never pretended I was in love
I never betrayed you in anyways
And how do you repay me
But walk away,
forgot every word
You ever said to me?
Do you know how much that hurt?
Do you know how much that burnt?
No, no you don't
Because you didn't careless
How I felt
And I gave you everything
Only to have it
thrown back in my face
Think your gonna
get away with that?
Nah **** I won't
let you get away with it

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was ****** in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

Stop psychologically messing
With my head
Because you plagued my mind
One, two, too many time
Everything we had
between you and I
Was all based on a lie
And I can't even explain how or why
I should have known
That I couldn't trust you
I should have seen all the cracks
Starting to show through
I should have known
That I couldn't let you in
So that you could
Just try to find a way to win
Should never have shown
you all of my scars
Just so you could cut in deeper
That made me bleed a lot easier
Yeah well, guess what girl?
This ends here, I've had enough
Because there was
never gonna be an us
I can't trust you now
I couldn't trust you then
So I'm gonna leave
you lying in the dirt
If you ever come running back again

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was ****** in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

©2017 Written By Benji James