I hold the pen and close my eyes, makes my heart open his book in pain!
Listen to that melody calling for that melody, makes all lines shake in fear!
Space and every element surrounding that space lead to hold my trembled heart to fade in illusion!
Questioning my reasons....
Questioning the versions of me I became through my journey!
Questioning the purpose I have every now and then!
Questioning should I go further than this place I reached!
The sun hiding behind those shy clouds trying to keep the light of the new road from being seen!
What is behind that Road!...

I'm happier than I have ever been
Thank you for being why
You give me ten reasons to smile
For every one I have to cry

I hate my life as much as I love it.
I tried to think about--
drowning myself in the river..
but a drowning corpse is ugly to be seen
I tried to think about--
taking poison in my mouth..
but I'm broke so how will I get one?
I tried to think about--
hanging myself..
but I live inside a cardboard box.
Slitting would be painful.. I don't want to scream.
Get myself hit by a car... would bother alot of people...

i dragged you here
but i have no reasonable reason
just that- someone gave me your name
and i couldn't stop thinking about you
i should start thinking before i start doing something
now i don't know what to do
...
/M.A./

drug a bucket of salt,
sew all blankets together,
light a candle in the sun,
'cause why not..?

sometimes we don't need a reason
we just need an inspiration
...
/M.A./

the toughest man I know,
will too, shed tears;
the prettiest lady once told me,
she too feels insecure;
the happiest friend laughed,
at the times she cheated death

I truly wonder
if the reason I'm flawed,
is to make me perfect
one day, someday.

I'm starting to believe
That I don't have a choice,
Living in a world where I don't have a voice.
So I'll build up my defence;
Running away from a world
Where you know you'll end up alone.

Now I am going,
Imagining the biggest adventure unknown.
Wondering how to make it home to the clouds.
Now I am wanting to grow,
Trapped in a world that's so undecided and cold.

The world could be your playground,
Just listen to the child inside calling your name;
She's lost and so scared.
So let down your defences.
Stop running away; maybe disappear for a little while.
Just take your time to find the reasons.

Just give me time,
I'm the worst and deciding my choices.
Wondering if I can find a reason to carry on.
I feel like I don't belong here,
No longer wanting to stay trapped inside my own dark mind.

Now I will be going.

To: You
From: Me

Open this letter when someone precious to you betrayed your trust~
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Look Honey, I'm going to be honest with you like I've always been. When we trust someone there's always that chance that the trust we gave is going to be broken, turned into little pieces you can't seem to catch anymore. Because we're only humans, and humans tend to do the most beautiful things, but the most horrible ones as well. It happens, people come and go, take and throw away, even the most precious and irreplaceable things to them, nothing we can do about it. Maybe you'll break someone's trust some day as well, or maybe you won't, but there's a pretty big chance it'll happen, because we all have that chance on us. But Darling, trust is to give and take whenever you want, whenever you feel like you have reasons for it or not. So don't be upset about this, it's going to happen again, but everything is going to be okay, I know that. And if you want to trust them again, do it, if you don't want to, well don't be afraid to be human and hurt others as well. Do whatever you want to, while you can. I'll be here with you no matter what you choose to do.
                                                 
         ­                                         Sara Leal
                                                           ­                                      01/02/18