To: You
From: Me

Open this letter when you feel like you have no more reason to stay alive~
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Hey! Cheer up! It's just a bad moment, a really bad one. I know you can pass through it and later on you'll see that it wasn't that bad. I do know because I also have those moments, when I just want to break down and let go everything. So I know that right now it is that bad, with all those negative thoughts inside your head, with all those voices screaming that you're in pain, that you're not needed, that you want to get away from all this. Don't do that, don't get away from it, don't let those voices get to you, it's not your time yet, you have a lot that you should fight for. You have a lot of reasons to keep going and I'm one of them as you're one for me. And remember, I'm here with you. You're not alone in this.
                                                 
       ­                                           Sara Leal
                                                           ­                                      24/01/18

Sometimes,
I feel happy
for reasons none.
An urge to run,
if stopped
by anyone.
Too stunned
that all be done.

Shimmering lightly as you move
Lights bouncing off of your high features
I think this must be a dream

You'd never do this
Yet here you are
Moving against me as the night fades

Gestures into touches
Gazes into stares
Thoughts into actions

Last Night
Tonight
Tomorrow's night

Soft and warm to the touch
Your skin under my fingertips
We keep coming back to this

Darkness comes
You come
I come

Hearing the deafening static in my mind
Every time I get motion sick
Arguing siblings who can't be mature
Dead of night where a thunderstorm rages on
After a really long, hard, cry
Concentrating too ******* too many things at once
Harmless basketball headed fast for cranium
Eating or drinking nothing for too long

Truly blessed am I for so
Might people think of me and so
I am, walking April days on springsteps
With pockets of passion sewn about

What heather bears thine poppy seed
What bee might chance into your scent
Aligned with lights that beckon away
Swallowed poles of north or south

Tunnels gape and gnash stalactites
And eyes bear the brunt of the dark
But I feel not with sight, not where I reap real bounty
With twig and hair I feel my way

And paint what promise I need to survive

you said I'm complicated,
i say you're confusing,
you said you don't
know what I'm thinking,
i say you never want to
know what I'm thinking,
you said you rather be friends,
i say I want it to be more,
you said you wanted to talk,
i say I don't really feel like it,
you said you're not prepared
to love anyone,
I say you're just not prepared
to reject me properly.

what's the point
in this game of love,
if both of us can't agree
to the same **** thing.

People don’t realize
Everything I do
Has a purpose

Why do I have so many key chains on my bag?
So that when I walk it drowns out the sound of my thighs rubbing against each other

Why do I sit sideways on my chair?
So that you don’t see my thighs spilling over the edge on both sides

Why do I always wear jeans?
Because they hold in all my fat

Why do I always wear long sleeves?
So that I can hide the scars on my wrists

Why do I always wear hoodies and sweaters?
Because it hides my body fat

Why do I always straighten my hair?
So that it will frame my face and hide my double chin

Why do I wear four pounds of makeup?
So that I can hide my acne and disgusting face

Why do I play with the ring on my finger so often?
Because I do it whenever I'm anxious, which is often

Why am I always smiling?
Because on the inside I’m breaking but I don’t want you to see

You see
Everything I do
There’s a reason behind it

Why does time pass more slowly when we want it to go faster?
Dripping like molasses
Flowing like tar
Sinking
slower
s l o w e r
s   l   o   w   e   r
STOP
Time freezes
"No beat, no melody"
As they say in that famous play
Hamilton never stopped
Until that bullet made him
Sometimes I wish Aaron Burr would shoot me in the same way
Time is killing me
But not fast enough
It's the waiting that does it
But what am I waiting for?
A reason to be dead?
A reason to be alive?
A reason to have a reason?
A reason.
That's what we're waiting for.
I wonder what mine is.

It is a sad twist of faith
To be here in this place
Looking at pieces
That belonged to you

A weird feeling
as the moon is full
On the same day you had
made the walk down the road
                       ~Feeling the energy makes me want to cry~


As I think,

                            "What if I had been here on that day"

...Many weeks ago

Admiring the hard work
With what you had built with your time

I would of said

What my heart truly thinks

What an amazing job
You did


                                                           ­      Instead, letting time slip away
                                                                ­                             And I am here
                                                                ­       staring at the scatter pieces
                                                                ­                you had left to no one



Filling myself up with the mistakes
I should of changed
to had helped you