You put a weight on my chest,
Knowing it would be too heavy for me to lift.
Every time we were together,
You took it off,
Giving me instant relief.
When it was time for me to leave,
You put it back,
Making me not just want,
But need you to feel at ease.
So I kept going back,
Even though I knew I shouldn't,
Because I couldn't stand the discomfort of being away from you.
Until one day,
You broke me,
In a way that couldn't be forgiven.
So I left,
For good.
And still,
I couldn't escape the weight.
I tried and tried to get it off,
But no matter how close I thought I was,
It always crashed back onto me,
Restarting the same cycle of pain,
Erasing all the progress I thought I made,
Pushing the feeling of normalcy I had so often taken for granted,
Further and further out of reach.
There were so many days that I wanted to give up and go back,
Because I knew if I begged enough,
You'd take it off,
And take me back.
But I didn't,
Because I couldn't face you.
I couldn't be the weak thing you wanted me to be.
I had respect for myself,
And I knew that the tough girl inside,
Was still there.
I just had to endure this to get her back.
So even though it was the last thing I wanted to do,
I kept pushing,
Each and every day,
Exhausting myself,
Getting closer and closer,
Becoming stronger and stronger,
Until my persistence finally paid off,
And I removed the weight all on my own.
Now,
For the first time in weeks,
I am free.
I can enjoy each step, breath, and heartbeat,
Uninhibited and uninterrupted,
Because I fought for them,
I fought for me,
And I won.
The weight will come back,
If you don't put it there,
Someone else will.
That's life.
But I know I can take it off,
Without anyone else's help,
Because unlike the weight,
My strength is only here to stay,
And grow.
So thank you,
For making me better than I've ever been,
For forcing me to fight for myself,
For helping me realize,
That the only person I'll ever need,
Isn't you or anyone else,
It's me.
