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Mar 2020 · 511
Broken Hearted
Jonesy Mar 2020
How am i?
You want the truth?
I'm broken
Not the type you get when you didn't get your way so you're slightly disappointed. I'm heart broken. My heart is aching deep inside my chest, it trembles because it's now coming to terms with what my brain already knows.
How am i?
I am in pain ...
I have alot of physical ailments but nothing, nothing at all compares to crying yourself to sleep, waking up from sleeping crying, going through your day crying. I've cried for 3 days now.
How am i?
I'm trying to be strong.
Why?  I know if you knew how I really feel you'll be devastated so I lie, I tell you I'm doing okay, I'm great, fantastic...while  having..tears on my you can focus on you. I went to school trying to hide my tears but then I saw my friend and I broke down. I actually gripped at my heart and I told her it hurts soooo bad. My heart was beating like normal but yet it hurt so bad. I cried so much that I accepted it, class mates passed me and asked "Are you ok?" I said "I'm great, ignore the tears I have allergies".
How am i?
I'm hurt.
So so so so so so hurt. You wanted to stop hurting me so much that you decided to break my heart instead. I hate you for that.  You promised me you wouldn't break my heart. Then why am I crying everyday, why does my heart ache, why am I not eating....why am I in such pain.....why do I feel so.... empty.
How am I?
I don't know.
I'm so many things yet nothing all at once.
I wouldn't wish heart break on an enemy if I had any.
It's one deserves to feel like they're nothing,...
No one deserves to feel broken.

                                                     ­               Jonesy 2020 (c)
This poem is in the form of a journal entry. A story of a girl who is coming to grips with being broken.
Apr 2019 · 261
Jonesy Apr 2019
I don't usually grow under harsh conditions,
It takes a while for my seed to sprout.
But he was a gentleman
And he watered me everyday.
He believed in my growth
Although he himself did not know how to grow.

I don't usually grow under harsh conditions,
But in this cruel world I'm beginning to sprout,
Gentle this creature was
He made sure he  gave me sun every day
For he wanted me to grow.

I don't usually grow under harsh conditions,
But today I finally sprout.
I'm glad I can now sustain him
Now it is my turn to believe in him
He can finally enjoy my fragrance and the beauty in my petals.
I can now help you to grow too
Just like you have shown me.

We don't usually grow under harsh conditions,
But I'm here now
Bobbing my head, dancing to the wind.
Showing you that with patience anything is possible.
Let me show you how to grow under these harsh conditions.
Mar 2019 · 238
A Letter To My Saboteur
Jonesy Mar 2019
To whom it may concern,

You seem to be having a blast with my voodoo doll, just making out these terrible situations for me; sitting there and plotting the best way to f me over. I think to myself there's no way I'll let you get to me not today, but you always have the last say.

So I decided today was the day I wrote a letter to my Saboteur.

Hopefully now you'll stop getting in my head telling me I ain't worth it,
That boy will never love you don't you ever understand it.
I try and try to ignore you
Tell me about all my flaws
How I never do anything right
"How do you keep looking at yourself, you're such an eye sore"

Today I decided to write a letter to my Saboteur.

These letters seem to be working, you haven't sabotage me recently.
No more shady moments
No more feeling bad.
Its been a few days now since I last heard from my saboteur but that's only because I stopped listening to myself.

Sometimes you are your worse enemy
Feb 2019 · 270
So What If I'm Broken
Jonesy Feb 2019
We all have our ups and down;
Some things are better left unspoken.
My mouth is a stranger to smiles and tends to easily welcome frowns;
I'm not broken.

Emotions I hold so dear.
To my friends i offer you all a token,
But my anxiety won't let you guys come that  near;
Maybe I am broken.

Fear,  I'll never let you win,
But my depression you just awoken;
"To cause harm to yourself is a sin! "
What if I am broken?

It hurts sitting here feeling so conflicted,
Wish I could say something but I'm too soft spoken,
But that's okay cause here is a fact,
I'll get over it as previously predicted,
So what I'm broken
Theres nothing wrong with that.

Jonesy 2019©
Feb 2019 · 366
Jonesy Feb 2019
As I sat there contemplating...
I realized I was not as important to him as he was to me.
Jonesy 2019©
Feb 2019 · 239
Jonesy Feb 2019
No I'm not appointing blame,
My origins will never change,
But what was there for an eight year old to do.
I never felt wanted again after I was born,
There was a huge void in my spirit
My dad married and it seemed like he forgot about me,
I felt like I was scorn.
I was never helped with homework;
I became a novice
Never understood Maths, English or any prerequisites.

A mistake.
Yeah I get it.
But at least don't treat me like it.... Please.
My teacher (God rest her soul) took me under her wing,
Helped me with maths,religious education and English.
I slowly understood what I was missing:
Love, joy, sympathy and a family.
This quickly ended when she died though,
And that void came back.

I never saw my dad.
I might have slowly forgotten his features.
But that didn't bother me I was only ten by then,
And I was coming into myself:
I suffered depression and insecurities.
Many a day I would bury my head in a book
Not because I wanted to,
But because I wanted to make myself scarce so I could escape the hardships of my dysfunctional family.

Maybe reading was a good thing,
I reassured myself as I read through the encyclopedias in my small library;
Deciding that I'll read my problems away.
Mom was never around,
And daddy had a new family.
I'll just read the problems away.

I felt unwanted.
Mummy started going out every night,
At this time I had a five year old sister;
Of course mom hardly spent time with her.
I babysat her while missing homework assignments I never got helped with.
Because mummy went out every night.
Sometimes she came home
Sometimes she didnt
A fire kindled in my spirit made of anger
How could a mother do this to her young daughters.

Jonesy 2019 ©
As promised part 2 to my origins
Feb 2019 · 385
Jonesy Feb 2019
Growing up as a child and a young teen was not the best,
The memories up to this day traumatize me:
I always remember the bad ones and never the rest.
Now don't take this as a sob story I don't take well to pity,
Just give me a few minutes to dwell
On a childhood that was anything but well.

It was the 29th day of March,
A long and eerie night
A miscarriage was near in sight
The doctor told her:
Its very possible that you will lose your baby
After hours of pain and blood loss
Came a bundle of joy with "cat eyes" that brought light to all a young mother's flaws.
It was a miracle.
"Its a baby girl, woah look at those eyes they are almost bioluminescent in the dark"
Parents could never be so proud to bring such a beautiful creature to the world.
"I wish all the best, to this little girl"

Life was great
But I wasn't truly welcomed
Some people my existence upset.
But as a baby and toddler, it was great all I had to do was breastfeed, cry and ****.
Then time happened and life became complicated.
My mom cheated (or was continuously cheating) and there was no preset
My dad wished there was a reset
And me... I was treated like an asset;
For money.
For **** sake my young years have been duped.

Jonesy 2019 ©
I want to start a new collection about realism in association with well origins. This will be the first poem of the collection; this collection entails basically my uncensored life story (and if u guys want to share your own life story too please do not be shy,  no judging) I hope you enjoy and look out for my next poem "Memorandum" coming soon.
Jun 2018 · 594
I Don't Know Why
Jonesy Jun 2018
I'm writing from a state of creative deprivation,
And I don't know why
Life is driving on and it somewhat forgot me at the bus stop.

I'm writing from a state of creative deprivation.
Everything around me lacks inspiration,
Everything around me is now monotonous,
And I don't know why.

I'm writing from a state of creative deprivation.
It's ironic that when I started learning from school,
"How to be creative and how to make it better"
I lost my creativity.
And I don't know why.

I'm writing from a state of creative deprivation.
I no longer know how to express myself,
My creativity drives everything that I am;
I lost it.
And I don't know why.

I'm writing from a state of creative deprivation.
To me this world held so much inspiration.
The world holds the paint brushes;
Creative thinkers are the paint,
And this world lacks color.
And I don't know why.

Jonesy 2018 ©
Guys lately I've been uninspired to write literary pieces
Apr 2018 · 340
For Towain
Jonesy Apr 2018
Gone too soon...*
Sometimes memories ain't enough...

The sun shone today,
As it always does.
I woke up today,
But I wonder if that is enough.

A life is given birth to.
inner voice
Yes I know
While another one dies.
inner voice
Its just how it goes
Life is perfectly imperfect
inner voice
That's just how it roll
No matter what we do.

inner voice
So what can we do
It's an inner strength,
That push us to greater measures.
We will go the length,
To seek out our most precious treasures.
inner voice
But what do we do once that strength is gone?
We shut down
We become annoyed
inner voice
But it needn't be this way
If we fight harder we can take that crown
That crown that is metaphorical to everything that brings us joy.

I know you feel like you lost a fight,
Like everything is gone and no longer bright
Like you should give up and just take flight,
So when you feel low all day and night,
Use this poem as a guiding light.

Jonesy 2018 ©
Death.. Is always terrible
Mar 2018 · 268
Journal Entry #1
Jonesy Mar 2018
I feel like my mental health is deteriorating.
I've been more absent minded than before;
Like a ghost of my former self.

Tell me what I should do..... What I can do?
I feel so far from you
Its hard to believe that we are the same person.
I look in the mirror and can't even recognize you.

Shakespeare said "The world is a stage and we are all the actors"
So why do I feel like an understudy...
Of my own life.

But I get it now,
You just need to live a little.
Do things you never would have done
You're young.
Experience life a little

You were a child place into the role of an adult, too soon.
Your childhood was stripped from you like an animal being stripped from life.

It took you a while to realise it,
But you've got it now.
You're okay
You will be okay.
I believe in you.

Yours Truly,
A letter to myself
Feb 2018 · 442
He has a Hole in his Heart
Jonesy Feb 2018
"I have a hole in my heart."
Those were the first words he ever said to me,
As he tried expressing his feelings towards me.

"I have a hole in my heart."
Of course these words had meaning
Such feelings.
I could not say how I felt after that,
But my emotions cried a river.

"I have a hole in my heart."
I watched him clutch his heart,
Saw him moan in pain,
As his heart's depression finally gave in.

"He has a hole in his heart. "
When he told me this I never thought he meant literally,
Only emotionally,
A soft spot for me.

What am I supposed to do to help this boy
Who has a hole in his heart.

                                       Jonesy 2018 ©
Get better.
Dec 2017 · 3.2k
Jonesy Dec 2017
I once had it all,
Now I get to suffer from the memories of it all.
I once stood tall,
Unaware that I was marking my own fall,
Now I get to suffer from the memories of it all.
My fate was ringing and I ran too fast to answer the call,
Now I get to suffer from the memories of it all.

I'm not a verbal person,
But just hear me out,
It's not you, I'm the reason I had doubts.
Now let's make this clear,
It was a nice love affair
That ended too soon
But I'm the one to blame for its sudden fall
Now I get to suffer from the memories of it all.

What can I do,
I don't deserve you,
But I don't know what to say,
But if I may,
Will you please stay?
Ugh, I'm sorry
My feelings are a brick wall
Writing this poem is like understanding a brick wall
Now I get to suffer from the memories of it all.

I once had it all,
Now I get to suffer from the memories of it all.
I once stood tall,
Unaware that I was marking my own fall,
Now I get to suffer from the memories of it all.
My fate was ringing and I ran too fast to answer the call,
Now I get to suffer from the memories of it all.

                                                          ­                                 Jonesy © 2017
From the collection of Life Stories: Memories
Nov 2017 · 7.3k
Jonesy Nov 2017
That's all it is,
They say there's no gain if there's no pain
But why does this pain seem to go in vain, because I feel no gain  
See no gain
And it's driving me insane.
Feel like I'm stuck in a fast lane but going no where
They say they've been there
Then tell me why they don't understand my fear
So I tell them don't come near
Cause Its clear
They don't understand this scare
All they do is pat me on the back and say " Dear, Dear Dear"
They don't understand, see,
It's inside of me
An inner demon that's controlling me freely,
They try to help, oui!
But they don't understand that this inner demon is me,
"There's no gain without pain"
Man those words are clichéd
I feel the pain without seeing the gain
But that's okay;
Don't mind me I'll be over there in my corner not conversing
Like what I'm doing now,
Just contemplating.

                                                                                          Jonesy 2017 ©
First time doing a spoken word
Nov 2017 · 607
Groaning Up
Jonesy Nov 2017
Growing up I was always told:
"Jonesy, you will change the world, I hope they're ready."
I was sold on the idea and held fast to it ,
I was there, awaiting jubilantly my future duty.

Growing up I was never informed:
"Jonesy,this world will change you"
Appauled that after trying so hard to know your character  
The world just change the script.

Growing up I should have been notified:
"Jonesy, life offers you more pain than joy"
Slowly, I realized that and I cherished those beautiful moments,
And dearly I did.

I know now what I was never told then,
Life is stressful; it is relaxing;
Life brings obstacles; it brings you aid,
But most importantly, Life is what you make of it.

Jonesy 2017 ©
Just a sprinkle of inspiration
Sep 2017 · 405
At The Crossroads
Jonesy Sep 2017
Everything* seems dark
This must be the end

I never believed that I would have made it at this point,
That thin line between fate and destiny.
Somehow it feels like my life and I aren't joint;
Like this life does not belong to me.
Controlled by something known to be bigger and just,
Our choices we own, cause what we reap we will sew,
But at the end of the day our bones are going to turn to dust,
And that's the only truth we will truly ever know.
At the crossroads, left, right, up or down,
One side holds vipers, Tigers, bears and toads,
The other three holds all of the best things that could go wrong;
The future is one crystal orb we can not hold.

   Jonesy 2017 ©
Aug 2017 · 1.2k
The Phone Call ( Elegy)
Jonesy Aug 2017
I* remember it like yesterday ,
The sun was shining brightly,
Birds were singing gaily
And bees were getting their daily lunch from their neighboring flowers.
Nature took its place on the throne with its beauty.

I remember it like yesterday,
It was an important phone call,
The one I wished I never answered.
Like on cue,
Grey clouds began to cover the sun's yellow face,
And the butterflies disappeared for the day.

I remember it like yesterday,
Nature and I were one.
We both cried that day,
Filled with gloom and looking grey.
Tear after tear kissed my cheek,
As rain drop by raindrop splattered on my roof.

I remember it like yesterday,
Something went terribly wrong,
How could it be?
She was never able to see the beautiful sunlight that I have experienced for these seventeen years now,
Never will she be able to breathe air,
Be loved.

I remember it like yesterday,
It was so dark,
And it was only morning,
A bright morning turned as dark as night.
A day like this was to be joyful,
Seeing my new born cousin,
But I'll only be seeing her,

Jonesy 2017 ©
Today my cousin died
Aug 2017 · 293
The Storm
Jonesy Aug 2017
The skies cry, and the winds howl like wolves on a night of a full moon,
The waves shout with thunderous sounds as they try their best to comfort the sky with their high jumps.
Boats and ships alike hideaway between tidal waves as the fish living underneath them scurry away,
Bracing themselves for the storm up ahead.

Clash Boom
The bipolar sky seemed to give way to the sun,
But she soon started to cry again.
Her wrath beat down on all of those who begged her mercy,
The trees cleared her a path.
The houses obeyed her presence and gave her their roofs as gifts.

Jonesy 2017 ©
Jun 2017 · 783
Jonesy Jun 2017
It's amazing how much your smile makes my day,
You seem to bring out the best in me.
It's intriguing, you value my flaws and love them in every way,
The part of me i rarely see.
In my eyes,
Brightening up my night,
You're a firefly,
Intrigue me with your light.
I swear,
With you as my love,
I got it all my dear,
Our love as pure as the white on a dove.
As i treasure you and you treasure me,
I will always love thee.

Jonesy 2017©
My Shakespearean sonnet of love.
Jun 2017 · 846
Jack in the Box
Jonesy Jun 2017
He sat there as still as a statue,
His spring rusty from being forgotten by his loved ones;
Oh, he knew this day would come when he was no longer  of value,
For his old age has dimmed his light and he no longer shone.

His box was sealed away,
The rust on his spring will always stay,
For the children has outgrown him and never stop to play;
So, Jack was left alone in the attic for the rest of his days.

Now that we need him for our children's children,
To show them how fun he was to us as a child;
We did not know his value then,
His heart rusted away, now he can never be beguiled (again).

Jonesy 2017 ©
You never miss the water until the well runs dry.
Mar 2017 · 947
Broken Window
Jonesy Mar 2017
Dry  your  tears,
No  more  pain.

It's like you are one with nature,
The skies are crying for you instead tonight.
As you stay there looking empty,
Like you have been taken from life...

Dry  your  tears,
No  more  pain.

Like your trust,
Like that broken window you always stare through...
Wondering if he will ever come back,

Like  a  broken  window.
Dry  your  tears,
No  more  pain.

The skies have stopped crying.
You are hurting...but,
Your scars are healing.
Bruises show that you are a fighter.

Go and get happiness,
Not so many *panes
To patch up the broken window.

Dry  your  tears,
No  more  pain.

Jonesy 2017 ©
Italics -conscience
Jonesy Mar 2017
I was always told by my mother,
That love is lust, and everyone can relate.
That to love is now meaningless and a bother,
It is that one thing that drive mankind to hate.
I know now what she...was saying all of these years,
Love is a burden that we all have to carry as humans.
All of the griefs , sorrows and fears,
Made us draw back into the shadows like demons.
Love, what is that, and why for it we care?
Is it that thing we use as an excuse to hurt each other,
Or is it the thing that make us feel rare ?
Love on my part make us so crazy that we can't even trust each other.
I know, deceiving, disloyal and unfaithful,
It is the mother of everything I know to be shameful.

Jonesy 2017 ©
My new collection : A conversation among broken hearts.
Nov 2016 · 443
The Truth About Life
Jonesy Nov 2016
It knocks you down purposely, half expecting you to kick the bucket,
But it never ends there, when it realizes you got back up,
It works on your weaknesses.
Nothing comes easy, and if it does chances are you won’t appreciate it,
Life will **** you dry like a mob of leeches.

Life doesn’t care about your race, social class, gender or age, honestly,
But you better remember life believes in karma,
So it will **** off our people senselessly;
Having the family members crying “Why yuh tek he life fa. ”

Yes, Life can be a pain in the rare end,
But it's how we adjust,
Live  your life to the fullest, to someone else be a friend,
And life should give  you back what you put out; "In God we trust"

                                         Jonesy 2016 ©
The truth about life is that it isn't boutique the obstacles instead it's about how you overcome it
Oct 2016 · 438
The Heart That Never Beats
Jonesy Oct 2016
It's just another day;
Another hour that has passed.
You were always so distant,
Now I see why,
You are broken too,
You've lost all hope,
Just like me.

It's just another day;
Another hour that has passed.
Love did you an unkind deed,
Now she's gone,
And you're here all alone,
You wish she loved you too;
Staring through that glass window.

It's just another day;
Another hour that has passed.
And you're still here,
I don't know why,
If you love her go after her,
I'm sure you will like that,
At least that's what I hear when your sleeping.

It's just another day;
Another hour that has passed.
Don't worry about me,
I've lost all hope in us too,
Love did me a bad deed;
I'm broken too,
To love a guy who is in love with someone else.

                                                        ­  Jonesy 2016 ©
Oct 2016 · 926
Tear Drops
Jonesy Oct 2016
Scars on my heart tell a tale of a little girl;
Misunderstood, different, outcast,
But one day she’ll take over the world,
And the tear drops on her journal will no longer be vast.

Stars are bright tonight,
The night reminds her of what the future for her will look like,
Whilst the winds sing her a tune,
Of the things that are not impossible even if they are not in sight.

What she observe now is rare,
Watching the rivers reflect back what they see,
A beautiful rose stuck among the thorns;
She read that message loud and clear.
No more shedding tear drops on your journal.

                              Jonesy 2016 ©
Jonesy Sep 2016
It was a gloomy night,
I remember it now like it was yesterday,
No stars shone for they were out of sight,
Quiet on her perch she swayed.

She always sang to me the sweetest tunes,
As a reward for reading her one of her favorite stories,
Who knew this would have been the last time that I would have seen her underneath the moon,
Where she has gone will always be an unsolved mystery.

I soon learn how to move on,
Both for her and for me,
Even though in my sorrows , pains and griefs,
I know that my little nightingale is free.

                                       Jonesy 2016 ©
Jonesy Sep 2016
As i stare through my glass window,
I see your face; sun-kissed,
Your eyes match the sunrise that i admire so much.
All is still.
A silent breeze disturbs the movement,
As the sun says goodbye for the day.

Again I see your face,
All is clear now,
What I am looking at,
A vast reflection of what i used to be.
I was like the  sunrise,
People couldn't wait until I was " Up in the sky,"
But now they treat me like the sunset,
As beautiful as i am in the sky,
They can't wait until i drift down (out of sight).

                                        Jonesy 2016 ©
Aug 2016 · 574
Dreamers' Prayer
Jonesy Aug 2016
One day I'll make my dreams come true,
I'll be that someone that "they" say I'll never be.
I'll show them "nothing is impossible,"
And to expect the unexpected,
Even if you have to "hope for the best while expecting the worst.

I know,
Sometimes I feel like its a long shot and I don't have what it takes to get to my dreams,
But I will not be discouraged,
We will not be discouraged.

This is my Dreamers' Prayer.

          Jonesy 2016©
Aug 2016 · 663
Jonesy Aug 2016
Don't mind me too much I'm just an old friend passing by,
One that you would be sad to lose,
Even though you act like i am just a transparent object.

I'm sure you'll see me again;
If you dream of me.
Try not to miss me too much,
If you do at all.

                                           Jonesy 2016©
Aug 2016 · 638
Jonesy Aug 2016
Are feelings we have everyday,
To show others that each one of us,
Do things out of instinct.

Its that one thing that brings us closer,
As a nation,
As human beings,
To connect us all.

Sadness is so far,
From the other emotions,
Its Above the mountains,
And it grows cold.

But being loved,
That one emotion that makes us feel secure,
Like we mean something;

Jonesy 2016 © & K-mari 2016 ©
A joint poem by me and poet K-mari Ajani  Jones
Aug 2016 · 890
Jonesy Aug 2016
Your body reminds me of roses on a bright spring day,
In full bloom and full of fragrance;

Your lips so sweet,
Just like the words that come out of it,
Not Even the honey bees can make anything sweeter.

Your touch as soft and passionate as a thousand daffodils in a meadow,
Your love,
My only rare black rose in a bouquet of red roses.

Jonesy 2016 ©
For you
Aug 2016 · 1.0k
For My Followers
Jonesy Aug 2016
If it wasn't for you i wouldn't be notice,
If it wasn't for you there wouldn't be anyone for me to inspire,
If it wasn't for you i wouldn't be the person i am today.

Each one of you are unique,
I consider you guys as family,
I pour my feelings on a page,
And you guys see it as a masterpiece,
Thank you for that.

I express myself through poetry,
But you guys already knew that,
I am like the watcher,
And you guys my watch tower,
This is why this poem is for my followers.

                                                                 Jonesy 2016 ©
I decided to write a poem for how much i appreciate my followers
Aug 2016 · 1.7k
As The Sun Rises
Jonesy Aug 2016
Daylight breaks the midnight mist,
As the sun finds its true place in the sky,
All of creation prepares for the day ahead.

All is well,
A mystery itself,
Takes its first breath,
Flowers fill the air with their fragrance,
Birds fill the sky with their chirps,
Trees sway as they beautify the earth,
As the sun rises.

                                                               Jonesy 2016 ©
Aug 2016 · 1.1k
Different Worlds
Jonesy Aug 2016
Maybe in a different world,
I'm a tree,
Not only physically,
I am very important to nature and its inhabitants,
I clean the air for those around me.

Maybe in a different world,
I am a boy,
Loves to embrace my ego,
Races to see how many girls' days i can brighten up,
I'll try my hardest to understand her perspective,
She'll be my queen.

Maybe in a different world,
I am a diamond,
One who can be mistaken for a shiny rock,
My value under priced,
My potential overlooked.

Maybe in a different world,
I am the ocean,
With many rivers working together to reach a common goal,
To flow in tranquility until they reach me,
When they feel like giving up,
I look up to the skies and pray,
The rain make them full again.

Maybe in a different world,
I can achieve anything i put my mind to,
I work towards it,
Practice and succeed,
For life isn't about the destinations,
Its about the journeys.

                                                    Jonesy 2016 ©
In my own personal different worlds...
Aug 2016 · 1.0k
Butterfly Fly Away
Jonesy Aug 2016
Skies seem dark,
Like I'm going to rain,
But I know the sun will soon
shine the storms away.

Hard times are strong,
But its not permanent,
As long as we have faith long
enough we won't go wrong.

Just as butterflies are meant to
soar through the skies,
Try to be different in every single
We will be triumphant through all
Butterfly Fly Away.

                                                          ­                                  Jonesy 2016 ©
Butterfly fly away
Jul 2016 · 344
Jonesy Jul 2016
I know you are the love of my life,
And i know you mean alot to me,
But those words will be the last that you use as your knife,
Even though i am the one who's going to be cutting you out.

You use my affection as an excuse to do what you want,
And back then,
I let you.
You used my flaws,
As your weapon against me,
Your words cut deep like a knife,
Even though i am the one who's cutting you,

I won't lie have made mistakes too,
I have hated and beat myself down for that,
That hurt.
I regret it.
But I'm only human.
You threw it back in my face every time we got in an argument,
Then have the audacity to tell me i always bring up the past.
You made me feel worse than i already felt,
Even if i was afraid to tell you the truth of the matter,
Can't explain,
Can't express,
I'm cutting you out.

I know when someone doesn't care,
They say the things you do,
They act the way you do.
But yet i forgave you.
I guess love is stupid,
No, I'm stupid.
I have to cut you out.

You think everything i do is drama,
Not worth it.
I'm replaceable.
Not important.
Waste of space.
My emotions mean nothing,
"Yeah that's what you do best, go write a poem!''
I'm cutting you out.

I need you out of my system,
Out of my head,
Get out of my heart,
I know you don't belong there,
I'll cut you,

I don't love you,
I hate you,
No wait i love you,
I don't hate you,
Heart would you make up your "mind",
"Doesn't matter",
As you said,
Cut you out.

I know,
You're right,
Matter of fact,
I always do things wrong,
I cry on the inside,
While maintaining a perfect smile on the outside.
Sometimes with all these mixed emotions,
I forget who i am,
"Are you Miss. Jones?"
"No "
"I'm Miss.Understood."
For my sake,
I have to cut you out.

I don't like giving up on others,
But you made me give up on myself:
Disappointed in myself,
Thought i made your heart go "tick tock,''
Reality is,
I wasn't even worth your time.
As the clock ticks away,
I will cut you out.

                                                                                      Jonesy 2016 ©
Jul 2016 · 376
Jonesy Jul 2016
I was here for three years now,
But it feels like a decade.
This place is filled of pity,
And a trapped little girl;
Her heart and mind are her only cell mates,
While her emotions are the officers who held her captive.

One day she got out,
And she felt free,
With her heart and mind,
Hand in hand,
She didn't want to go back to that cold, dark place,
Where no one understood her;

But sadly once a week that little girl goes back to that cold, dark place,
Its not her fault,
People laugh at her in the real world too.
The prison is no different.
At least she isn't judged there,
Cause no one knows how she feels on the inside.

                                                                                     Jonesy 2016 ©
Jul 2016 · 553
To : Myself
Jonesy Jul 2016
Sorry I hurt you,
That was my bad,
I was experimenting on your feelings,
I wasn't thinking straight,
I'm sorry I complicate you,
I'm sorry that I am awkward,
And not very confident,
Guess that's why guys come after us.
Sorry that i can't express myself properly,
I guess I'm afraid of opening up and being hurt again.

But I accept the pain,
I'll even take the blame,
You did warn me things will fly...south,
Yet you loved me all the same.

I'm sorry that i don't give you the time you deserve,
And address the pain
Instead of giving myself false hope.

I'm sorry I have so many insecurities,
And not a very strong personality to cover for it.

I'm sorry that i put everyone first but you,
That i cry every day,
That i wish we were like those girls;
Have Guys running after them,
They aren't awkward like us.

I'm sorry I feel helpless all the time,
ThatI never talk to you,
That I'm so shy.

I'm sorry that some girls are jealous of me,
And think I have it all,
I don't know why they think that,
Beauty is on the inside,
Only tears,cuts and bruises are in there.

I'm sorry that I am so emotional,
That i am hurt,
That's my fault.

I'm sorry that I don't love you enough,
That I bury all the pain and you alongside it.

I'm sorry that I am so fake,
My fixed expression through pain and sorrow,
I hope for the best while expecting the worst.

I'm sorry that i try to fight for everything,
But I can't even help myself.

                              Jonesy 2016 ©
Just talking to myself again
Jul 2016 · 1.0k
Who Am I?
Jonesy Jul 2016
Who am i?
It a question that stumps me all the time,
I am a girl..........i know that much i think
Sometimes i am sweet, other times bitter as lime.

I believe i am sane,
I mean insane,
Honestly, Its all the same.
But who am i?

I am mistreated because i am not like others,
I am different they say,
What's wrong with that?
Isn't that a good thing?
I don't know i guess we must all be the same in every way.
I might be that one rare black rose stuck in the thorns that no one bothers to touch because its too much work to get it out,
But i hope i am special too,
Who am i?

A girl going through identity crisis,
Her emotions shattered like broken pieces,
There's no dry places left to cry,
Who am i?  

                                                               ­                                  Jonesy 2016©
Who am I ?
Jul 2016 · 682
At Least Once
Jonesy Jul 2016
I need someone that could help me out,
I need someone that will treat me like the queen i know i am,
I need someone that will understand all the flaws i have,
Well at least once.

I wish that i could be pretty too,
Like those other girls that have their lives figure out here, there, and through,
I wish that i was like the girl who knew her self worth,
Well at least once.

I wish i wasn't misunderstood,
I wish i wasn't so awkward,
I wish i could express myself better,
I wish i was accepted by my peers,
Well at least once.

I know that i could soar high in the sky,
Yes i will like a bird that was meant to fly,
I will conquer everything in sight,
With all my might,
Well at least once.

When those moments come show that you are brave,
And that you are a fighter,
Because these opportunities come.......
At least once.

                                                          ­                                 Jonesy 2016©
Opportunities come at least once
Jonesy Jul 2016
I am strong,
I can overcome any obstacle,
Once i put my mind to it
I'm a fighter.

When someone pushes me down,
Not only physically,
But Mentally and psychologically,
I will pull myself up and say,
" Nice try, but its going to take more than gravity to keep me down,because i am a fighter."

When you say i won't make it,
It just encourages me to work harder,
When you make fun of my flaws,
I continue to embrace them,
Nothing you say will bring me down,
I'm a fighter.

                                                               ­                  Jonesy 2016©
We are all fighters (ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง
Jul 2016 · 1.4k
Jonesy Jul 2016
Every time I wake up I feel phenomenal,
Like the rarest of the rare,
I feel like I can save the world,
If I put my mind to it,
I know superman ain't got nothing on me.

They say the mind is a powerful thing,
Once we use it we can break the walls and surpass the sky,
So I guess that's why they blindfold us.
I knew I was born an Einstein,
But they used education to limit us.
But still Superman ain't got nothing on me.

I know I am mighty, strong,
Never go down without a fight.
Confidence level so-so,
World I hope you are ready,
Someone is coming,
Someone who can break the boundaries,
Surpass the stars,
I am not Superman,
But I can be superhuman.

                  Jonesy 2016 ©
Superman ain't got nothing on me :)
Jul 2016 · 713
I'm Not Afraid
Jonesy Jul 2016
I am not afraid to say,
I cry every night,
To make my pain go away,
And even though I try not to with all my might,
its a ritual I perform every day.

I am not afraid to tell you,
That I can be confusing,
Its not my fault I swear,
But I do try my best to explain,
But my emotions just go through one ear.

I am not afraid to tell you,
I have insecurities,
People tell me every day I am attractive but they see my clothes and my body.

I am not afraid to tell you,
That the world is a dangerous place,
Physically and mentally,
I know we can save it,
But we needn't be afraid.

                      Jonesy 2016©
Jul 2016 · 8.2k
The Black Rose
Jonesy Jul 2016
I am the black rose,
The exotic kind,
The kind that is a beautiful mystery.
The type that stands out on its own,
Because its rare.

I am the black rose,
It reminds me of the thrilling mysteries of the night,
Like the secret behind the stars;
For I am a mystery to begin with,
I am a beautiful, rare, exotic black rose.

                        Jonesy 2016©
Jul 2016 · 690
Midnight Stories
Jonesy Jul 2016
Midnight is upon us,
Just observe as the birds slowly vanish into their homes,
And the bats take their place.The butterflies take all their beauty from the day,
And hide it from the night
As their cousins circle around the light.
Midnight stories.

The days grow colder,
As our hearts grow fonder
Of the world around us.
We are too busy aiming for the moon,
That we lose track of the stars.
Moonlight stories.

Sometimes I prefer the night to day,
Cause everything in the day is seen clearly,
Whilst the night is a mystery to the naked eye.
Midnight stories.

                                                       ­                                   Jonesy 2016©
(the cousins of a butterfly is a moth. )
Jul 2016 · 955
Dear Future Love
Jonesy Jul 2016
I promise to cherish you,
To treat you right,
To cherish your presence like it was your last gift to me,
To consider your feelings in everything I do,
To make you believe that you chose the right person to confide in.

Dear future love,
I will always try my best to be there when you need me the most,
I will be the light that brightens your days,
I will be that shoulder to cry on, on your rainy days,
I'll be that rare exotic black rose in your bouquet of pink roses;
I'll love you.

                                                                ­                    Jonesy 2016 ©
Jul 2016 · 620
Jonesy Jul 2016
As the sun shines,
All of creation rejoice.
As the trees sway,
All of its residents sing and tweet in harmony.

As the rivers flow in tranquility,
All of the sea creatures swim in their beauty,
As the coral reefs provide a shelter,
A home,
For the creatures of the deep.

For Mother nature is one of the greatest gifts,
The trees, the animals, the open ocean,
Are all hers,
But yet she doesn't use them to abuse us,
Instead she lets us observe them,
Admire them,
And yet we still
destroy them.

                                    Jonesy 2016 ©
Nature is beautiful.
I do wish we will stop hurting her.
Jul 2016 · 342
Jonesy Jul 2016
Beauty isn't skin deep,
Its what one see on the inside.
It's the personality,
Your attitude,
Its what speaks for you when your appearance fails you.

Now, Attractiveness,
That's a different story
That's just how you look,
Its the quality of your body that causes an interest or desire among people,
That isn't beauty.

                                                        ­                                Jonesy 2016©
Jul 2016 · 492
Jonesy Jul 2016
Today and yesterday were the same,
People acted like animals who can't be tamed
So i decided to walk away,
Drama is too much,
I can't stand for it a next day.

These emotional series of circumstances just get to me,
I wonder why people can't get along and let things be.
No, this isn't a play for theater or television,
Shakespeare has nothing to do with this.
Yet to be social this is my vision,
But is living without being too social too much of a risk?

                                                          ­                                      Jonesy 2016©
Jul 2016 · 335
Back Then
Jonesy Jul 2016
Back then,
I was strong,
So confident,
But now I don't even know what that means,
Had good self-esteem,
But not egotistically,
I would use it to help girls just like me.

Guys would say hey,
And I would say hi,
Then they say you're full of beauty,
But then i don't know,
If they're looking at my hair,
Looking at me,
Or maybe its just the clothes i wear,
Back then.

All the confidence,
All the esteem,
But now this is me,
Non-egotistically ,
Back then.

                                                          ­                          Jonesy 2016©
Jul 2016 · 2.0k
Antisocial (consequences)
Jonesy Jul 2016
Sometimes we reach our limits,
Sometimes we crack under pressure,
Sometimes we can't stay to bare the pain'
We lose the power to fight it.
Consequences of holding your thought on the inside.

In a house full of family, We don't belong
In a school full of friends we can't relate,
In a world full of people choose to be alone,
Consequences of being antisocial

                                                     ­                             Jonesy 2016 ©
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