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Jul 2016
I know you are the love of my life,
And i know you mean alot to me,
But those words will be the last that you use as your knife,
Even though i am the one who's going to be cutting you out.

You use my affection as an excuse to do what you want,
And back then,
I let you.
You used my flaws,
As your weapon against me,
Your words cut deep like a knife,
Even though i am the one who's cutting you,
Out.

I won't lie have made mistakes too,
I have hated and beat myself down for that,
That hurt.
I regret it.
But I'm only human.
You threw it back in my face every time we got in an argument,
Then have the audacity to tell me i always bring up the past.
You made me feel worse than i already felt,
Even if i was afraid to tell you the truth of the matter,
Can't explain,
Can't express,
I'm cutting you out.

I know when someone doesn't care,
They say the things you do,
They act the way you do.
But yet i forgave you.
I guess love is stupid,
No, I'm stupid.
I have to cut you out.

You think everything i do is drama,
Foolishness,
Petty,
Not worth it.
I'm replaceable.
Not important.
Waste of space.
My emotions mean nothing,
"Yeah that's what you do best, go write a poem!''
I'm cutting you out.

I need you out of my system,
Out of my head,
No
Get out of my heart,
I know you don't belong there,
Anymore.
I'll cut you,
Out.

I don't love you,
I hate you,
No wait i love you,
I don't hate you,
****,
Heart would you make up your "mind",
"Doesn't matter",
As you said,
Cut you out.

I know,
You're right,
Matter of fact,
I always do things wrong,
I cry on the inside,
While maintaining a perfect smile on the outside.
Sometimes with all these mixed emotions,
I forget who i am,
"Are you Miss. Jones?"
"No "
"I'm Miss.Understood."
For my sake,
I have to cut you out.

I don't like giving up on others,
But you made me give up on myself:
Disappointed in myself,
Thought i made your heart go "tick tock,''
Reality is,
I wasn't even worth your time.
As the clock ticks away,
I will cut you out.


                                                                                      Jonesy 2016 ©
Jonesy
Written by
Jonesy  20/F/Ealing Park, Barbados
(20/F/Ealing Park, Barbados)   
359
   ---, deprivedkat, --- and Ovi-Odiete
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