They’re all out
Noone can hear
The quiet sobs
You left hanging in the air

The blood drips
Down your arm
You breathe deeply
Unable to stay calm

You cry quietly
Hoping for a day
That there are no lies
Where you have to say your okay

They’re all back
Now you're scared
That they will find
What you’ve feared

Without you gone
I can barely think
My brains go to mush
As I drain another drink

The days go by as a blur
As I stumble home every night
My family says I need to take it in
But I take on the words with a fight

I've been sober
For a day
I've taken your death in
Not knowing what to say

You left the world
Without a sound
Why didn't you ask for help
All the happiness you could've found

But without you here
I'm just lost
I would bring you back
No matter the cost

I am going to bring
Memory in your name
Make it a brave, strong one
Make sure that no-one puts your name in shame

What is love?
Accepting a rose but ignoring all the thorns
The thorns that cut deep inside you
That hurt you
But doesnt seem to care

What is love?
Shouting so loud your voice breaks
With tears streaming down your face
Where it feels like your heart is shattering
That if it has a slight tap it'll break

What is love?
Smiling so wide you fear your cheeks will rip
Looking at them with love oozing out your eyes
Wanting to be with them every second
Not wanting them to let them go

What is love?
Appreciating everything they do
Accepting their flaws
Loving them through the ugly times
Sticking to the them like glue

What is love?
Without a little hate
Without fighting
Without happiness
Without love.

I regret it
I regret the scars on the top of my thighs
Just below my hips
I should of been stronger
I shouldn't have cared what they said
But I did
I was stupid
And I regret it now
All those words they said
Telling me to do things that no one should hear
My so called friends
Saying I should trust them
And me handing my trust over to them
Just for it to be shredded and used against me
And him
The 'perfect' boy
Who used me
Tore my heart
Ripped it out
Then jumped all over it
Its torture being in love
Because after all they all did to me
I still love them
But I should of just talked to someone
Then cut myself
Stupid

Im sorry Mum
Im sorry I couldnt make you proud
Make you happy
Make you stay.
I tried
I tried my best to make you proud
I participated in everything
Always got good marks
I tried to make you happy
But you didnt care
You called me a mistake
Wish you never birthed me
Called me all these names
These scars on the top of my thighs
These are for you
To give me the pain you felt when you saw me
But I get it
Who would want me
Exactly
Noone

Harrys POV:
My tear stained cheeks
My sobs re being blocked from the pillow
Why did I let you go
Thats right
Because I was breaking you
You were a sweat girl
And I broke you
You did everything for me
I love you Alexis
I love you more than anything
More then I thought I could love
I dont know how I am going to stay away
I dont think I can
"Im sorry. Lexi. Let me love you in the way i can express. Im going to be a better man than before. I love you"
I made it worse
Why did i just send that text message
"I love you Harry. Please come back."
My heart skips a step
My tears keep falling
My tough act is down.
No one has seen me like this
A boy with tattoos and piercings
Crying
Noone but you Lexi
I love you
More than anything
I love you

Alexis POV:
My body is struggling to breath
I'm wearing your shirt
Remembering everything we had
All the laughs and all the fights
I would take all of that on again
Just to be with you
I miss you
I bet you have forgotten all about me Harry
I love you so much
I just wish you would feel the same about me
I thought you did
You said you did
And I was a fool to believe you
Our memories are flooding my eyes
I don't think you understand how much you meant to me
Mean*
You still mean everything to me
I love you
Please reply to me

My broken sobs
Are blocked out from the shower
The water running down my face
Like it has been for the past half hour

Am I that bad
Do you really hate me
That you think I cant be a friend
If you gave me a chance you would see

My breaths are stutters
I can barely inhale
I'm still in the shower
Crying about ** I am a miserable fail

You asked a question about me
"Whats so good about her?"
You'd think I wouldn't find out
I'm not hiding behind fur

You could just tell it to me
Not talk about me behind my back
Making me feel miserable
Waiting fr me to crack

Well congratulations
It is done
You've pushed me over the edge
Im reaching for the gun

Its coming nearer
I can only see it
No one notices
Not a single bit

My blade is sharper
More blood
Spreading everywhere
It will flood

My end is near
Time to end it all
Time to say goodbye
Time to let the blood pool

Its coming closer
I can feel it
The names are getting worse
Getting pushed in the grit

They have caused it
All the names
All the pushes
They think its all fun and games

The time is now
Im ready to go
Time to end the pain
So no one will know

When you knocked on my door
I quickly tried to hide myself
Even though its  crying
I didn’t want to worry you even more

You asked if you could come in
I replied quietly ‘sure’
You sat at the corner of my bed
Telling me it’s okay
That you’re by my side

You looked at me
Your face all concerned
You wiped the drooling mascara
And helped me up

I started to speak
But the tears started to flow again
You pulled me into a hug
And held me tight

I walk to the bathroom
You right behind me
I saw your reflection
In the ***** mirror
Your face all worried

You asked me if you could do anything
I sheepishly replied no
I wiped the rest of mascara and tears away
With a piece of toilet paper

I turned to apologise
But it all came out  mutated
And the tears started to fall

You pulled me tight
And told me it's okay
You laid my head in your shoulder
And helped me to the bed

You told me it wasn't my fault
It can happen sometimes
Miscarriages are normal
They can happen
Don’t let it hold you back

You held me in your arms
Until I started to fade into a light sleep
The whole night you were there
By my side
Protecting me

In the morning
You made me tea
And promised me
That we will try again

Later that year
I was 3 months pregnant
The doctor told me
I was going strong

Later that night
You held me tight
Told me not to worry
It will be alright

Your comfort
Your constant reassuring
Your special talks
Was all I needed

My tears stream
Down my face
As I think
Of how easily I can be replaced

My hands are trembling
Holding the blade
Is this worth
All of the scars I’ve made?

Then I remember
The people who taument me
Like Im emotionless
Just rid me of my glee

Every word you yelled
Every shove in the halls
Until Im crying
In the bathroom stalls

No one notices
They never will
All the pain you’ve caused
That I can’t ****

Then they wonder
Why Im dead on the ground
With my knife in my hand
And a note with blood all around

They are confused
Wondering why
Then they will all forget
And turn a blind eye

I’m all forgotten
Just like I new I would be

My flame used to shine bright
Thats until it happened
High school
I get judged everyday
I think everyone hates me
I get called nasty names
My family calls me fat
My flame was slowly going out
Like everyone one I liked was spraying water into it
I don't think i had any true friends
Apart from 2 or 3
Only 1 knows how I feel
But yes
My flame has gone out

My mum got a call
I wasn't supposed to listen
But I did
You have passed away
Hopefully without pain
Shes still on the phone
Not knowing that I know
I cant let her know
That Im choking back these tears
Why is everyone
Leaving this Earth
This year
I know you were old
And I know I have never seen you
Because you live so far away
But I love you dearly and I hope you are okay
I love you my nana
And forever will

I remember
The night you said
‘I love you’

I remember
When I was too scared to say it back
I screamed and cried

I remember
I told you
No one loves a ugly girl like me

I remember
You told me to calm down
You held me in your arms

I remember
My family scared
That one night I might take my life

I remember
The night you said
‘I love you’

I remember
I said it back
I was still scared

I remember
Finding you
The perfect one who understands me

I remember
When you took my hand
Promised me that you would never leave

I remember
How you love me
And always will

MY UNCLE
You werent related by blood
But related by love
You made me laugh
But now youre making me cry
You left your life
Hanging on that rope last night
Im holding back these tears
Not wanting to get red blotchy patches
I dont want my sisters to see
because they dont like you very much
Because of some of the silly things you have done
Shut in my room
Thinking about the times
WE would be play fighting
You would pin me to the ground
Tickle me until I was in pain from laughing so much
i rememeber
When it was hot
The sun shining bright
You would get smart at me
And I would be smart back
You would pick me up
And throw me in the pool
I would try splash you
But fail
the time it was the night before christmas
And you came home from shopping late for your children
And got me to help wrap the girts
We woke
Not expecting anything form you
But you got us gorgeous earrings
I know it was little
But it meant alot
And IM holding back
Not letting these water warks
Fall from my eyes
Uncle
I miss you
And I know youve done bad
BUt youve done good too
Protected my mum
Had everyones bacl
Helped others out
Raised to little boys
But they now have to live with their mother
She wont look after them
Not the best home
But its their mother
But uncle
I love you
No matter what
I hope your having fun now
Happy
Watching your boys
Watching everyone
We love you

My hands tremble
Im feeling weak
The blade cuts deeper
The blood starts to seep

I hear the voices
In side my brain

Echoing all around
They are what caused the pain

My hands tremble
I pull the gun to my head
It’s almost over
Just remember what they said

I hear the voices
All around
Crying and weeping
Because my blood is on the ground

It’s all over
No pain to be found
No voices here
No-one around

I hide the feelings
I can’t let them see
The perfect little girl
I can never be

I’m all broken inside
I really want to cry
It’s getting difficult to cover
No matter how hard I try

My days get longer
And my feelings hurt
The pain gets stronger
I wonder what my life’s worth

They start to notice
The scars are there
They try to help
But all I feel is fear

But darling remember
I have to try show them feelings
Try let them see
That I can’t be the perfect girl
That they want me to be

As she weeps
She thinks about her mistakes
The times she said something she shouldn’t
The times she acted like she didnt care
The times she said she couldn’t

As she weeps
She thinks about that boy
That boy she loved for many years
The boy who doesn’t know it yet
The boy who forgets she’s even here

As she weeps
She thinks about her choices
The ones that have been bad
The ones that hurt people
The ones that made her sad

As she weeps
She think about what could’ve been
The life she could’ve lived
The life she could’ve grew old in
The life she could’ve gives

As she weeps
She thinks about her secrets
The ones that make her scream
The ones that frighten her
The ones that seem like a dream

As she weeps
She thinks about her friends
The ones that act like they care
The ones that make her better
The ones that are truely and always there

As she weeps
She thinks about what could’ve done
She could’ve helped out
She could’ve been happy
She could’ve gone weeks without a pout


As she weeps
She thinks about that boy over and over
That boy who is smart
That boy who sees nothing in her
That boy who is a piece of art

As she weeps
she thinks about herself
About how she’s mean
About how she’s fat
About how she’s unseen

As she weeps
She thinks about how it’s going to end
Will she be dead?
Will she find a way out?
Will she be happy like they said?

As she weeps
She stops and thinks
This is me
This is my life
This is what can set me free

As she no longer weeps
She sees things from a different point of view
She no longer cares what others think
She no longer sees what’s wrong with her
She no longer thinks about rude remarks longer than a blink

She is perfect
She is who she wants to be
She is a women
A women who loves herself  the way she is