I swallowed this coal
in the pit of myself
it's just there
weighing me down
making me slow
curse you circumstance
you're never in my favor
I think I'll drown you
in liquor and pour decisions

I came upon a wood
Where no birds pierced the air
With their song
I feel the wind
On my skin
But not its howl
I sat near a rushing water
Whose torrents flew undamned
White foaming by
In silence

I want to read the kind of poetry
that sears it's verses into you
that makes me want to turn
yellowing corners to read more
and squat over my treasures
In the corner of the bookstore
Arduously inked thoughts
of tortured frame and stories about
passive aggressive dinner parties and
sun drenched lost ethereal loves

Mouths move to
Abstract sounds
Musings
Lounge ice cream
Meltings
Of black and white
Drippings
Out of the frames
Of old pictures

Sip my coffee
and read poetry
like I'm reading
the newspaper

I write this after reading your letter to me 3 times & smelling it quite a bit more. Sadly I am sure it will disappoint you, For I am no poet. I consistantly Fumble with words (and my hand writing is horrid).
Whilst I am clearly wretched at these things there are a few I am okay at feelings of course, I can barely find the words to describe them but I am certainly capable of expressing them, And Moments I live off of moments. The moment in which i loved you or realized I did (or at least choose to recognize it) Was on that hike, with the rain and

the streams of sun gazing upon your face. But if I am being totally honest with myself, I loved you before that moment, that was simply the moment of acceptance of my fate. But truly I already loved you, already knew it, but knew I could not. I hadn't any choice though. It just was. I love you in a way that even metaphor cannot handle I love you more that the moon loves the tide, and I, like the moon want nothing more than to anchor you to me and pull you closer. I want all of your faults & stress

your anger, your stories, your secret, you past, your present, your future to sink into mine and become one entity, I want to hold you long enough that our souls meld together and never separate in this life or the next. I hate me & I dont like the thought of "you" I just want Us. Ive never been truly happy, and then there was an us, and life made more sense. Days had a purpose. Things are better, and there are all of these moment that continue to build that

and it is perfect

Long dark fur of blackest night
Round green eyes give sudden fright
Yawn her cares with stretching bite
Warms my lap when sits are right

Drift and blur
Detachment
Fork in a socket
Reach out to catch but
Not falling at all
Why is it dark outside?

I didn't choose this distance
                       it's not what I wanted

Someday this
Will be quotes
On a calendar of cats

Sometimes I stifle
under this silence
I feel like a tv on mute
around other people
and I was starting to feel like that
around you
the walls had gone up
and you built them too strong
for me to see you through them

ive got me shovel
and ill ***** some more dirt
into this hole
but there is no bottom

I'd break my body
on rocks below
to a million pieces
just
to hear
Your voice
once more

Glass wings
Flit light
Through the windowpanes
Ethereally
On gentle breezes
And sunbeams

i'm too sad to write today
idk if i want to keep breathing or not

des œufs
Lait
baguette
du vin
têtes coupées

You're the kind of girl
that makes someone want to write
and crumple up
***** of paper
because the words aren't right

Towers above flattened below
Flames lick ebony carapace
interlocking geometry
Electric blue static
crawling across piezoelectric photosynthetic membrane
sleep food water are not needs
Limbs extending shifting
Testing tasting chemical ingredients
Molecular compositional analysis
Instantly wirelessly facelessly mechanically organically claytronically nanomechanically
Solid as a rock
Light as air
Harder than diamond
Softer than fur
Integrate
Disintegrate
See atoms and distant stars with naked eye unfurled across a cosmos laid bare by
Sponsored spectrum systems
weaponized unwoundable willpower
Invisible elastic lightning bolts
Careening onto blistered skies
Of a forseen absolute zero future

What makes a hole in your chest
doesn't **** you
but
makes you feel like you're dying
over and over
again

All this talk about
             heart's
what about
Ascending Vena Cava'
or Sternocleidomastoid's
wouldn't it be
                  romantic
If I gave you;
my
foramen magnum

How long is fire
In unbound wire?
Why do Arachnid tapirs lust
For the mouldings of the mantel bust?
Do heights cancerous desire
rubbing forests inside the mire?

I'll return
To our tree
And remember
What your hands
Feel like
In mine

The spillway
Is the only way left
For it
To flow

I want to throw myself down a well
rag doll child's wish
Swallowed up by the
Expired medicine bottles
Slowly swimming koi fish

My outlet is this ink
and there is no other

Decay
All mighty Zeus
Rendered into crumbling marble
From stone to form and back
And so
Myst my weakened flesh
Whispers of my name
And all memory subsumed
Not so mighty then
As the arrow