even when the sun don't shine
your brightness still
breathes life into me
the sun is just another star
but everything that you are
is all that i am.

i wanted to give up
countless times
until the very existence of me
didn’t make sense anymore

now

i fight to keep this faith alive
day by day
because the very existence of you
is everything that i am.

i knew you were never meant to stay
but i'd go through this pain
over and over again
in exchange for the little moments
before you go.

across the dinning table
where your voice lingered
and your smile so wide
in my head
i tried
to swallow
the emptiness of this place
i choked
on the memories
left over on your plate
across the dinning table.

paint my palette
in rainbow hue
draw my life
with laughter
or with tears

you are art
in my museum of
heart breaks

we are
a never-ending
love story.

when you love someone with a broken heart
not all of its pieces will fall into place
that’s why love will eventually fade
if it’s unable to heal you.

i am the kind of girl
who feels too much and speaks too little
who often gets caught in her midnight monologues
who embraces loneliness as a gift of time, to be alone and whole in her own chaos
who loves melodies from the '80s and classic poetry,
and also enjoys the modernity of the current reality
who seems a little ignorant but mostly just being shy
because she has an issue with shallow conversations
who gets excited about puppies but runs away from kitties
who travels miles away to seek the feeling of being home
who writes stuffs that are a little depressing,
even though her life has been a blessing
who hopes that these words somehow can convince you that
above them all
she is the kind of girl
who has a habit of translating the world into poems
believing that there are still good things to unfold.

i travel
to seek freedom
at the same time
to seek a sense of belonging.

as the rain poured down
people rushed around
and there we stood
under the same roof
hoping it'd last a little longer
just so we could be a little closer
and let the rain cover
the rhythm of our beating hearts.

sometimes, all you need is a listening ear
to speak the unspeakable

sometimes, all you need is a squeeze of the hand
to heal the unhealable

and i'll always love you
to love the unlovable
to love me.

Let it be
Moan over your heart break
But rejoice
That it will be made brand new
It’s life telling you
“Hey, you deserve something better!”

i chose to grow in this foreign land
on its soil where i am rooted
resided many other plants
they taught me how to sing the melody
of the songs from their leaves and flowers
when they rejoice in the wind
day by day
i grow stronger than the nature of my seed
through every season, every rise and fall
i've been told the stories of the older trees
whose branches have become my shelter
just like me
they chose to grow in this foreign land.

my suffering is numerable
simply count
the words that i write
just for you.

it wasn’t the distance that bothered me
you could be right here but your thoughts never made their ways to me
i used to be happy having you around
but i lost you to the silence that i couldn’t bear
much as i wanted to know why
all i desire now is being able to say goodbye.

i fall in love with you
in my dreams

this artificial infatuation
is draining me out

you are so real
yet it's so strange to feel

the fantasy of happiness
in the midst of this hell.

i have tattoos on my body
that constantly remind me
of the little things that make me happy
of the memories that i cherish every day
especially you
your presence
in inked vividly in me.

i fall in love
with the city lights
under the layer of a crowded train
penetrating through the silence of the night
alone, thinking of you
and all the "almost" that we could be
but never would
the feelings that i am unable to label
the mess that i am resting upon
the love that i am losing sight of
the life that i am living for others
i lean against the subway doors
asking myself where would the next stop be
and when should i get off?

i am staring at the windshield
the night is coming to an end
we are still chasing the moon
and my heart is still chasing love
but love isn't always there for anyone.

i could only do so much
to make you happy
there's always a part of me
desires more than I can give.

it's okay to cry
to let the tears water the seed of love
that he has planted in your heart
watch it grow into a garden
and decorate your soul.

after all this time
i still find loneliness
smiling back at me
and says
“welcome home!”

i'd rather fall for the wrong person
and get hurt once
than to fall for the right person
at the worst time possible
and regret it for the rest of my life.

like a tornado ripping through my life
you took everything and buried me under the wreckage
but i would love you still, tenderly
so long as you carry my heart wherever you go.

you’ve planted memories
in my heart
but its soil
couldn’t make a home
for your love to bloom.

why don't you just tell him how you feel?

- "what if he can't reciprocate my love?"

well, that's the thing about love
you need to have your heart broken in order for it to be healed.

i see nothing yet my heart is filled with chaos
my body is tired but sleeping only makes it worse
for the dreams that i dream
are the reality that i desire to live
where i see everything yet my heart feels nothing at all.

i enjoy being alone
not to be by myself
but to be with you
who i carry in my thoughts.

With countless reasons not to
We still make a choice
To fall in love
Maybe one day
when things fall apart
We will choose to get hurt
Only to give us
Another choice
To grow in love
And fall in love
All over again

i can never explain
the way my heart falls for you
or rather
the feeling of being with you
even though
it was only just a dream.

i'm terrified by the look of your eyes
'cause i can never resist the desire
to set this love on fire
whenever i have you in my sights
but all that i am to you
is just another passerby.

it's a constant battle
to suffer and live
or
to conceal the pain and leave.

you are like summer
rainbow and sunshine
but also
rainfall and thunder
on a stormy night

you bring the calmness of spring
when you smile
but also
shadow and loneliness
when your curtain falls

you felt like an adventure
when we are together
but also an endless maze
when we part ways

life still goes one, with or without you
and it's winter all year long.

and too often
my heart disobeys
to seek home in another's arms
and only when my body can't take any more pain
it returns with cracks and broken pieces
its sharp edges
never stop cutting me from inside since.

you are a plot twist
an unfinished chapter
neither happy nor sad
you are a torn page
from an ordinary story of me.

time does heal a broken heart
but it doesn't give us the courage to carry on.

do you understand that feeling?
being a prisoner of your own thoughts
that you have millions of things to say
but only silence does the talking.

do you understand that feeling?
wanting to be heard yet your mouth is sealed
that you want to loved
but the idea of love
hurts more than it heals.